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THE 



EXPERIENCE 



OF SEVERAL EMINENT 

METHODIST PREACHERS; 

/ WITH AN ACCOUNT QF ' 

THEIR CALL TO AND SUCCESS IN THE MINISTRY 

IN A 
SERIES OF LETTERS, » WRITTEN BY THEMSELVES, 

TO THE 



REV. JOHN WESLEY, A. M. 



NEW-YORK, 

PUBLISHED BY T. MASON AND G. LANE, 

FOR THE METHODIST EPISCOPAL CHURCH, AT THE CONFERENCE 
OFFICE, 200 MULBERRY-STREET. 



J. CoUord, Printer. 
1837. 






Gift 
Judgeand Mrs. f.R.Hftt 
Dec. 11, i936 



ADVERTISEMENT. 



The following experiences were first published under 
the inspection of the late Rev. John Wesley. They 
w^ere reprinted in this country in the year 1812, and a 
large edition has been distributed. Having been for 
some time out of print, and being frequently called for 
by our agents and others, it has been concluded to print 
a new edition, not doubting but that its circulation will 
tend to advance the cause of pure religion, as it was 
exemplified in the experience and conversation of those 
men of God. 

Nothing, indeed, tends more to confirm the believer 
" in his most holy faith," than to behold it displayed in 
the lives of those who have gone before him in the path 
of piety and Christian charity. Such narratives, detail- 
ing the manner of God's working in the souls of men, 
are peculiarly edifying to those w^ho are " partakers of 
like precious faith," as well as convincing to a gainsay- 
ing w^orld. 

Moreover, as the facts contained in the following 
accounts w^ere pubhshed to the world during the life- 
time of the writers, and allude to many transactions of 
a public character, had they been either false or exag- 
gerated, there were multitudes of persons^, both friends 
and enemies, who would have detected the errors. 
Under the full belief, therefore, that in ihese narratives 
we have the simple truth, and nothing but the truth, we 
commend them to all Christian people, as worthy of 
their perusal. 

N. Bangs. 

New-York, Sept., 1835. 



CONTENTS. 



Mr. John Pawson, . 








7 


Mr. John Haime, 








21 


Mr. John Murlin, 








51 


Mr. Christopher Hopper, 








79 


Ml'. John Oliver, 








110 


Mr. Alexander Mather, . 








123 


Mr. Benjamin Rhodes, 








150 


Mr. Thomas Tennant, 








157 


Mr. William Hunter, 








162 


Mr. John Allen, 








170 


Mr. Thomas Hanson, 








174 


Mr. Thomas Hanby, 








181 


Mr. Thomas Lee, 








193 


Mr. George Story, . 








204 


Mr. John Mason, 








221 


Mr. Thomas Mitchell, ^ 








226 


Mr. Richard Whatcoat, . 








236 


Mr. William Green, 








243 


Mr. Duncan Wright, 








251 


Mr. Robert Wilkinson, . 








268 


Mr. William Ferguson, . 








277 


Mr. John Valton, , 








286 


Mr. Thomas Payne, 








322 



A SHORT ACCOUNT 

OP 

MR. JOHN PAWSON. 

TO THE REV. JOHN WESLEY. 

Rev. Sir, — I was born at Thorner, near Leeds, in 
Yorkshire, in the year 1737. My parents were reputable 
people, belonging to the Church of England ; and though 
strangers to the life and power of religion, would not 
suffer me to run headlong into the vices of the age, but 
brought me up in the fear of God, and gave me, accord- 
ing to their ability, a good education. My father, being 
in the building business, brought me up in the same way : 
x>n which I entered in the fifteenth year of my age. 

At this time I was serious, and had no desire to fol- 
low the multitude to do evil. I attended the service of 
the Church constantly, and met in a small society of 
Church people, belonging to the high Church in Hull, 
where I lived with my brother-in-law. Whether these 
were acquainted with the power of religion I know not ; 
as I was, at that time, an entire stranger to it myself ; 
yet I did not doubt but all was well with me, and thought 
if I died I should certainly be happy with God. 

About the year 1755 I fell in company with two per- 
sons who talked much concerning the people called 
Methodists. I had then a hatred against them above all 
others, supposing them to be a weak and wicked people. 
I condemned them altogether ; and had no desire either 
to hear them preach, or to read any of their writings. 
But from the account that one of them gave of his wife, 
who was a Methodist, I began to have a more favour- 
able opinion of them ; and thought I should be glad to 
hear them. Accordingly I went one evening with an 
intention to hear ; but when I came to the door I was 
ashamed to go in, and so walked round the preaching 
house, and returned home. 

About the year 1756 I began to follow my business at 
Harewood-house, the seat of Edward Lascelles, Esq. 
Here I fell in with a company of very wicked young 



8 MR. JOHN PAWSON. 

men ; and though I was preserved from following them 
into gross sin, yet I was now a greater enemy to the 
Methodists than ever. But, about the year 1758, a 
young woman, who was a Methodist, lent my father 
two sermons, preached at the parish church in Leeds, 
by the late Rev. Henry Crooks, of Hunslet. He read 
them, and recommended them to me. In reading these 
I began to see that I was not in a state of salvation. I 
saw, first, that justification by faith was the doctrine of 
the Church of England ; and, secondly, that the Scrip- 
ture teaches it as necessary to salvation. I also saw 
that the Methodists were the people of God, and that 
they preached no other doctrine than that which I found 
even in my prayer book. 

I now began to spend my leisure hours in reading such 
books as treat on that subject ; and was astonished that I 
could not see these things before. In the latter end of 
June I went to Otley to hear a Methodist preach, when I 
was more surprised than ever. The serious, devout beha- 
viour of the people struck me with a kind of religious awe. 
The singing greatly delighted me, and the sermon was 
much blessed to my soul. They suffered me to stay in the 
society meeting, for which I had great cause to bless God. 
I returned home full of good resolutions ; but little 
thought what trials were coming upon me. I thought 
certainly none who love me can be offended at my seek- 
ing the salvation of my soul : but I soon found my mis- 
take ; for those who had formerly been my greatest friends 
now became my open enemies. All my relations were 
exceedingly offended, and threatened me much if I would 
not leave this way. My uncle, in particular, who before 
promised to be kind to me, now resolved to leave me no- 
thing; which resolution he made good. My father and 
mother were exceedingly troubled, supposing me to be 
totally ruined ; and my brothers and sisters were of the 
same mind ; my father threatened many times to turn me 
out of doors, and entirely to disown me ; but the love he 
had for me (I being his eldest son) moved him to use 
every means he could think of to prevail on me to forsake 
this despised people, whom he hated above all others ; he 
mourned to see me " run wilfully to my own ruin." My 
mother also frequently wept much on my account. 



MR. JOHN PAWSON. y 

This was indeed a time of great trial to me. My 
father's threatening to disinherit me did not trouble me 
at all ; but the consideration of the danger their souls 
were in distressed me exceedingly. I therefore did not 
regard what I suffered, so my parents might be brought 
out of their Egyptian darkness. To this end, I bought 
the best books I could meet with ; some of which my 
father read, but it seemed to no good purpose. 

About this time my brother was awakened, and also 
my younger sister's husband. My eldest sister and her 
husband likewise began to have a favourable opinian of 
this way. This made my father more severe with me, 
supposing I was the occasion of all this mischief. For 
the present he prevailed on my brother to hear this 
preaching no more. However, it was not long before 
he set out in the way of salvation. My father, when 
he saw he was so far from gaining ground, that he was 
continually losing it, grew exceeding uneasy, and knew 
not what course to take. However, he now entered 
upon a new scheme : he began to be mild and gentle, 
and to use soft words. He told me I might buy what 
books I pleased ; only I must not go to hear the preach- 
ing. I might learn as much, if not more, by reading 
Mr. Wesley's writings, than by hearing the lay preach- 
ers. He said the Methodists being a people so univer- 
sally hated, it would ruin my character to go among them. 

I now found it hard work to withstand my father's 
good nature. Accordingly, preaching being one Sab- 
bath day near our house, I could not break through. — 
When it was over I walked into the garden, and wept 
bitterly. From thence I w^ent into a solitary place, 
where no one might see me, and bemoaned myself be- 
fore the Lord. O, the anguish I then felt! I was 
scarcely able to look up. My father soon found me, 
and took me into the fields to see the grass and corn. 
But this could afford me no relief ; he was greatly trou- 
bled on my account, supposing that I should run dis- 
tracted. We returned home in time to attend the service 
of the Church : and in the evening, according to our 
custom, we read in our own house. When I had done 
reading, my father seemed to approve of what I read. 
I was glad, and began to speak to him in as mild a man- 



10 MR. JOHN PAWSON. 

ner as I could ; but he was soon much offended, and 
said, " I find thou art now entirely ruined. I have used 
every means I can think of, but all to no purpose. I re- 
joiced at thy birth, and I once thought thou wast as hope- 
ful a young man as any in this town ; but now I shall 
have no more comfort in thee as long as 1 live. Thy 
mother and I are now grown old, and thou makest our 
lives quite miserable : thou wilt bring down our gray 
hairs with sorrow to the grave ; thou intendest to make 
my house a preaching house, when once my head is laid ; 
but I shall take care it shall never be thine. No ; I will 
leave all I have to the poor of the parish, before the 
Methodists shall have any thing to do with it." 

I was exceedingly affected while he spoke in this man- 
ner. He then desired me to promise I would hear this 
preaching no more. I told him (when I could speak for 
weeping) that if I could see a sufficient reason, I would 
make him that promise ; but not till then. He replied, 
" Well, I see thou art quite stupid : I may as well say 
nothing : the Methodists are the most bewitching people 
that ever lived ; for when once a person hears them, it 
is impossible to persuade them to return back again." I 
then left him, and went to bed ; but my trouble was 
very great. I was tempted to think I was disobedient 
to my parents ; but I clearly saw that I must obey God 
rather than man; and that I must obey them only so 
far as was consistent with his will. 

My brother and I now began to take sweet counsel 
together : and we strove to oblige our parents with all our 
might ; taking particular care that no business was ne- 
glected on account of our going to hear the preaching. 
We frequently prayed together in our bedchamber, and 
several times my mother got up on the stairs to hearken ; 
at last she desired to join in prayer with us. Afterward 
my father listened upon the stairs, and after some time 
he also desired to join with us. 

The minister of the parish now began to be apprehen- 
sive that he should lose my father, and with him the whole 
family. In order to prevent this, he carefully gathered all 
the false accusations he could hear of against the people, 
and brought them to my father. He laboured with all 
his might, both in public and private, to make them appear 



MR. JOHN PAWSON. 11 

detestable ; by so doing he created me much trouble. I 
told my father that these things were entirely false ; but 
he was so provoked that I thought he would make good 
his former resolution of quite disowning me. However, 
I thought I would write to him my whole mind : accord- 
ingly I began by showing him the wretched state of my 
soul, and the danger I apprehended to be continually 
hanging over my head. I then expostulated with him, 
and asked, " What worse am I in any respect since I 
heard the Methodists ? Am I disobedient to you or my 
mother in any other thing ? Do I neglect any part of my 
business? Must not every one be accountable to God 
for himself ? Doth our law condemn any man before it 
hears him, and knows what he doth ? Why, then, do you 
condemn the Methodist preachers, whom you have never 
heard ? If you will hear them only three times, and then 
prove from the Scripture that they preach contrary there- 
unto, I will hear them no more." My father read this 
letter, accepted of the proposals^ and accordingly went to 
hear. He seemed to like the first tolerably well ; the 
second he did not like at all ; the third he approved of very 
much, and went to hear a fourth, which he liked better 
than all the rest : yet he was not convinced. However, 
he now began to pray that the Lord would show him the 
way of salvation. A little after he went, on a Sunday 
morning, into the stable, where he thought nobody could 
hear or see him, and prayed earnestly 'unto the Lord, 
Here it was that the light of the Holy Spirit broke in upon 
him : he now had a clear sight of his sinful and lost con- 
dition, and was brought into such distress that, like David, 
he roared for the very disquietness of his soul. He was 
now ashamed and confounded, and could hardly hope 
for mercy. This was a day of glad tidings to me : a day 
w^hich I trust I shall thankfully remember so long as I 
live. I now had liberty to cast in my lot with the peo- 
ple of God, which I immediately did. My father also 
invited the preachers to his house. Accordingly, he 
prevented my turning it into a preaching house, (as he 
had formerly said,) by doing it himself. From this time 
we had preaching in our own house, and all the family 
(which were eight in number) joined the society: this 
wa« about January, 1760. 



12 MR. JOHN PAWSON* 

For some time, though I knew myself to be without 
God in the world, I was dull and unaffected ] and often 
applied those words to myself :— 

" Still every means in vain I try, 

I seek him far and near^ 
Where'er I come, constrain'd to cry, 

My Saviour is not here. 
God is in this, in every place, 

Yet O how dark and void ! 
To me 'tis one great wilderness, 

This earth without my God." 

About this time the Lord began to revive his work 
among us : my father having received the preaching into 
his house, many of our neighbours came to hear: our 
society also increased, which was matter of great joy to 
me ; but it was my continual prayer that the Lord would 
take away the heart of stone, and give me a heart of 
flesh. I cried day and night unto him, that he would 
give me a broken and a contrite heart, and it was not 
long ere he inclined his ear. I went to hear the word 
at a neighbouring village, when, in the beginning of the 
service, the power of God came mightily upon me and 
many others. All on a sudden my heart was like 
melting wax, my soul was distressed above measure. — 
I cried aloud with an exceeding bitter cry ; the trouble 
and anguish of spirit that I laboured under far exceed- 
ing all description. The arrows of the Almighty stuck 
fast in my flesh, and the poison of them drank up my 
spirits ; yet, in the height of my distress, I could bless 
the Lord that he had granted me that which I had ^so 
long sought for. I now sought the Lord with my whole 
heart, and neglected no opportunity of hearing his word, 
or of waiting upon him in every means of grace ; yet 
many times I did not hear one half of the sermon, my 
distress being so exceeding great. I had such a clear 
sight and deep sense of my exceeding sinfulness that 
I was humbled in the dust. I daily walked mourn- 
fully before the Lord. The things of this world were 
made quite bitter to me : I could take no delight in any 
of them, my mind being so occupied with grief for my 
past sins, and with desire to be delivered from them. — • 
My business became a burden to me : I was quite con- 
fused, and brought very low ; so that any one who looked 



MR. JOHN PAWSON. 13 

on me, might see in my countenance the distress of my 
mind : for I was on the very brink of despair. 

One morning as I walked in the fields, bemoaning my- 
self like Ephraim of old, my heart sunk within me like a 
stone, and I was about to conclude that it was all in vain 
for me to expect any mercy. But the Lord would not 
suffer the spirit to fail before him, and the soul which he 
had made. He revived my drooping heart with that 
comfortable word, " O tarry thou the Lord's leisure : 
be strong, and he shall comfort thine heart." I was now, 
for a season, enabled both to hope and quietly to w^ait 
for the salvation of God. 

About this time one of my acquaintance was brought 
to enjoy a clear sense of the love of God, when he had 
only heard about three sermons. This utterly confound- 
ed me : I could in no wise account for it. I did not con- 
sider that one day with the Lord is as a thousand years. 
I thought he was deceived, and that it was impossible he 
should be converted so soon ; but the next morning the 
preacher gave public thanks to God on his account. I 
was then constrained to believe all was well with him. 
I returned home, and immediately retired into my cham- 
ber ; but here I had not sufficient opportunity to give vent 
to my grief ; I therefore walked into the barn, where I 
thought no one could see or hear me. Here I prayed, 
and wept, and roared aloud, my distress being greater 
than I was well able to bear : yet I was not quite with- 
out hope, but expected, vile as I was, that the Lord would 
at last be gracious unto me. But I was not so private 
as I supposed ; for I found my brother was in another 
part of the barn in as great distress as myself ; and my 
father and mother soon heard our cries and came to us, 
and in a little time my eldest sister and her husband. We 
were now six in number, and all in the same distress. I 
suppose if some of the good Christians of the age had 
either seen or heard us, they would have concluded we 
were all quite beside ourselves. However, though the 
children were brought to the birth, there was not strength 
to bring forth. I continued destitute of comfort, but 
steadfastly purposed to abide as at the door of mercy. 

One Saturday evening I went to a little village to hear 
preaching ; and it being a new place, abundance of peo- 

2 



14 MR. JOHN PAWSON. 

pie gathered together. The power of God so accompa- 
nied the word, that many began to tremble. There was 
a mighty shaking among the dry bones, and the power of 
the Lord was not only present to wound, but to heal also : 
for this night my father found redemption in the blood of 
Jesus, and the preachergave public thanks on his account. 
When I heard that my father had obtained mercy, I was 
so far from being able to rejoice with him, that my soul 
sunk as into the belly of hell. I heard very little of the 
sermon, but continued kneeling all the time of the ser- 
vice ; and after it was ended I still continued trembling, 
weeping, and crying aloud for mercy. I returned home 
as well as I was able, for my bodily strength was quite 
exhausted. My head was as the waters, and mine eyes 
became as a fountain of tears. I was truly willing to 
be saved by grace. I was naked, and stripped of all. 
I had nothing of my own to depend upon for life and 
salvation. I had nothing to pay ; no money or price 
to bring with me to procure the favour of God. 

I passed this night in sorrow and great heaviness, and 
was glad when the day returned. It was the Lord's day, 
and the preacher intended to meet our society, in order 
to wrestle with God in behalf of those who were in dis- 
tress. I went with a heart full of sorrov/, panting after 
the Lord as the hart after the water brooks. The service 
began, and the power of God was present in a very won- 
derful manner: when prayer was made in behalf of those 
who were in distress, I was bowed upon my knees in the 
middle of the room, and, if possible, was in greater an- 
guish of spirit than ever before. I heard one whose 
voice I knew, cry for mercy with all his might, as if he 
would rend the very heavens. Quickly after, in the 
twinkling of an eye, all my trouble was gone, my guilt 
and condemnation were removed, and I was filled with 
joy unspeakable. I knew by experience that the Lord 
was merciful to my unrighteousness, and remembered my 
sins no more. The love of God was shed abroad in my 
heart ; I loved him from an experimental sense of his 
love to me. O how my soul triumphed in the God of my 
salvation ! This glorious deliverance was wrought by 
his Holy Spirit, applying those words, "Thou art mine." 
Some time after my brother told me the words were in the 



MR. JOHN PAWSON. 15 

prophecy of Isaiah : I rose early in the morning and took 
my Bible, which I opened at random, and they were the 
iirst words I cast my eyes upon ! Isaiah xHii, 1. This 
was a kind of renewal of the promise of God to me, and 
I was enabled to praise him the more. 

The day upon which the Lord brought my soul out of 
prison, was Sunday, the 16th of March, 1760, which I 
trust I shall thankfully remember so long as I live. The 
change passed upon my soul was exceeding great. I w^as 
brought out of darkness into marvellous light — out of 
miserable bondage into glorious liberty — and out of the 
most bitter distress into unspeakable happiness ! I had 
not the least doubt of my acceptance with God ; but was 
fully assured that he was reconciled to me through the 
merits of his Son, who was now unspeakably precious 
to my soul. I was also fully satisfied that I was born 
of God, or renewed in the spirit of my mind, and I could 
heartily praise the Lord that he had taken that severe 
method in bringing me home to himself. For by this 
means my justification was so clear to me that I could 
neither doubt nor fear : the work of the Spirit of God, 
in renewing my soul, was also the more conspicuous : 
and this caused me to prize the liberty into which I was 
brought, and made me more afraid of being entangled 
again with the yoke of bondage. I now walked com- 
fortably with God, enjoying sweet communion with him. 
I could both do and suffer his will with all cheerfulness. 
Yet Satan soon began to assault me, and laboured to 
perplex me with evil reasoning ; telling me I should not 
always have so great a value for God, or for spiritual 
things, as I now had ; but as I was happy for the pre- 
sent, I did not regard all he could say, knowing that I 
had nothing to do with hereafter. I had only to live by 
the faith of the Son of God, who now appeared as alto- 
gether lovel3^ 

About six weeks after, the preacher proposed dividing 
our little society into two classes, and desired me to 
meet one of them. This was a sore trial to me; but 
when he insisted on my doing it, I was obliged to take 
up the cross. From the first or second time I met it, I 
continually walked in the light of God's countenance : 
no creature shared rpy affections with God ; but I served 



16 MR. JOHN PAWSON. 

him with an undivided heart, I had no distressing tempta- 
tions, but had constant power over all sin ; so that I 
lived as upon the borders of heaven. 

About this time my elder sister and my younger sis- 
ter's husband were brought into the Christian liberty ; 
and a little after, my mother and younger sister. This 
gave me fresh cause to bless the Lord for his goodness. 

December 28, 1760, the Lord spoke peace to my bro- 
ther while I was praying with him. Now I had more 
cause to praise the Lord than before. My brother had 
laboured for a whole year in sore distress of mind, and 
was many times brought to the brink of despair. I do' 
not remember to have seen any one in the like circum- 
stances for so long a time. But God broke all his bonds 
asunder, and caused him to walk in the light of his 
countenance. 

We now began to have a public meeting for prayer 
every Sunday evening ; but had no person among us 
who could give a word of exhortation. This troubled 
me much ; for I was afraid the people would grow weary 
of coming together, if we continued only to sing and pray^ 
as they were obliged to stand or kneel all the time. I 
thought it would be much better to read a sermon ta 
them, that they might sit down a little. Accordingly I 
got the homilies of the Church, which were entirely new 
to the people. These I read, and as I was able, explain- 
ed ; in doing which I found great liberty. This proved a 
blessing to many. But the minister of the parish (being 
an open enemy to all that is good) began to be offended,, 
and laboured to prejudice the people against me. He 
seemed not to regard what he said either in public or 
private, if by any means he could turn the people aside. 
But they did not regard him ; nay, the more he said, the 
less they liked him ; so that when he saw he could pre- 
vail nothing, he determined to leave the town, which in 
a little time he accordingly did. When I had read the 
most profitable of the homilies, I took Mr. Burkitt on 
the New Testament, and read many particular passages 
therein, and enlarged where I thought it needful. 

After this I began to take the Bible itself, and in my 
poor manner expounded part of a chapter from time to 
time : and, notwithstanding my insufficiency, much good 



MR. JOHN PAWSON. 17 

was done. But this exposed me to fresh trials : the peo- 
ple from the neighbouring societies began to invite me 
to go and give them a word of exhortation ; but, as I well 
knew my own weakness, I absolutely refused. But the 
assistant prevailed on me to go to a neighbouring town 
on a Sunday evening. The people, whether I would or 
not, thrust me into the pulpit. I trembled exceedingly : 
however, I spoke as well as I could, and the same even- 
ing returned hom.e, greatly ashamed of what I had said. 
I was in hopes they would trouble me no more: but so 
far was I deceived in this, that about Lady-day, 1762, 
the assistant employed me among the local preachers. 
I now knew not what course to take : yet I durst not 
decline the work. However, I was almost determined 
to remove into some distant part of the country ; but 
the love I had for the society to which I belonged would 
not suffer me. I was, therefore, obliged to do what I 
could, and I found God was with me. 

In August following, the conference was at Leeds, and 
the assistant desired me to attend ; I took up my cross, 
and went. Several young men were proposed as candi- 
dates for travelling preachers, and I among the rest. — 
When you, sir, asked me if I was willing to give up myself 
to the work, I told you I was conscious of my inability, 
but if you and the brethren thought good to make trial 
of me, I should deliver myself up to you. Accordingly, I 
was ordered for the York circuit. When I was gone, God 
raised up my brother to take my place, who was soon as 
well beloved by the people as I had been. I had till now 
met a few people in Harewood, where I had followed my 
business. I had suffered much in my mind on their ac- 
count, as I had no hope of any settled preaching there. 
As all the town belonged to one gentleman, I thought he 
would never suffer it ; and, as no one could receive the 
preachers without his consent, my labour would be in 
vain. The few people here were also much cast down 
when they heard I was going to leave them. But after 
my removal I was invited to preach among them, which 
I accordingly did to a multitude who came together; and 
from that time they have had the Gospel preached among 
them ; and, to the great surprise of many, without any 
of that opposition they so much expected. 

2* 



18 MR. JOHN PAWSON. 

I now entered upon my circuit. Here the assistant 
behaved to me with all the tenderness of a parent, and 
the other preachers acted, in their places, in like manner: 
the people not only bore with my weakness, but seemed 
glad to see me wherever I came ; and I often found myself 
unspeakably blessed in speaking to them. I desired no- 
thing more than to glorify God with my body and spirit^ 
which I knew he had redeemed. Yet I met with many 
trials from various quarters. And in many places the 
pressgangs attended our preaching, and threatened what 
they would do ; but the Lord restrained them. In other 
places we had much persecution, especially in Beverly, 
where the magistrates absolutely refusing to do us justice, 
we seldom could preach with any degree of satisfaction 
to ourselves, or those who desired to hear us. When we 
complained against three young men who disturbed us 
much, and they were brought before the mayor and alder- 
men, they said the information was insufficient, being only 
signed by myself. The mayor then insisted that I had 
been examined upon oath before him, and that, having 
sworn to men that I did not know, he would indict me for 
perjury, and send me to York castle. When they would 
permit me to speak, I told them that I was so far from 
having taken a false oath, that I had taken no oath at 
all ; that there were now present three very sufficient 
witnesses, who would all make oath, if it was required, 
that neither I nor any other person had taken any oath 
on the occasion. When they heard this, they began to 
be a little more calm ; but, as they were determined to 
do us no justice, we quietly withdrew. However, the 
work of God prospered much in those parts this year : 
many joined the society, and many found redemption in 
the blood of Jesus. 

The next year I and three others were ordered into 
the Haworth circuit. We found the people in those parts 
in a very languishing condition. There seemed a univer- 
sal mourning for the loss of that eminent servant of God, 
Mr. Grimshaw, who died the year before. Many said, 
Farewell to all prosperity in these parts ; the work of 
God will come to nothing. But, to our unspeakable 
comfort, there was a blessed revival ; the society was 
exceedingly quickened and enlarged j and it was thought 



MR. JOHN PAWSON, 19 

there was more good done in this one year than in four 
years put together before. 

In August, 1764, I was ordered for Norwich. Here 
the congregations w^ere in general very large, while our 
society increased considerably. But during the winter 
we had almost continual mobbing. The rioters fre- 
quently broke the windows, interrupted us in preaching, 
and abused the people when service was ended. We 
made complaint to the mayor, but he would not do us 
justice ; which encouraged the rioters, and led them to 
commit still greater outrages. 

I was now removed to Colchester for a season, when 
preaching had just begun in a place about six miles from 
it. Here they did not treat us in a friendly manner : the 
mob, being encouraged by the Church wardens, were ex- 
ceeding violent. They assembled in great numbers before 
the house, having got a drum and a large quantity of 
horns, with which they made such a prodigious noise that 
the people could not hear. Meantime the constable and 
Church wardens came into the house, and asked me if 
I would go with them to the quarter sessions the next 
day. I told them I would. They said. Then we need 
not show^ you the justice's order. I then desired our 
friends to bring my horse. They said. You had better 
w^alk to the end of the town. I did so : the mob gave 
me a free passage, but followed me, beating the drum, 
sounding their horns, and shouting with all their might. 
I walked slowly dow^n the street before them, in great 
peace and tranquillity of mind. When we came to the 
bridge, at the end of the town, I stopped till my horse 
came. They now encompassed me on every side, yet 
none of them struck me, or so much as cast any dirt or 
stones at me, although I had no man with me. But, 
after I was gone, they abused the poor people who had 
come from Colchester with me very much. 

The next day I appeared at the sessions. The princi- 
pal justice was a clergyman, belonging to the cathedral in 
Canterbury, a very candid, sensible gentleman. He said 
he would not have me think he had sent for me by way 
of persecution : but as complaint had been made to him 
by the Church w^ardens and other of the inhabitants of 
Nayland, that certain strangers, who acted in the capacity 



20 MR. JOHN PAWSON. 

of preachers, had come at unseasonable hours in the 
night, and made very great disturbance in the town ; he, 
as one of his majesty's justices of the peace, was obliged 
to inquire into it, and therefore required me to answer 
to certain questions drawn up in writing. He read the 
questions, and I answered them, so that he was quite 
satisfied, and promised that we should have peace for 
the time to come ; but hoped we would forgive all that 
was past. 

In a little time I returned to Norwich, where I spent 
the remaining part of the year in great peace. We were 
obliged to preach in the open air all that summer. We 
had also a good prospect of a revival of the work of God 
in Yarmouth, having procured a convenient chapel, 
which had been built for the Anabaptists. We had 
abundance to hear from time to time, and much good 
was likely to have been done : but one of our leaders, 
turning Calvinist, sowed such discord among the society, 
that nothing but confusion followed; the people scattered 
so effectually that the w^ound then given could never be 
healed. 

From thence I went to Birstal, in Yorkshire, and spent 
a year with much satisfaction, my own soul being fre- 
quently comforted while the work of God in a good 
measure revived. 

The two following years I spent in Lancashire, the 
first of which was exceeding agreeable : only the death 
of my dear fellow labourer, Paul Greenwood, exceed- 
ingly affected me. On the one hand, I mightily rejoiced 
that so dear a servant of God was taken to his reward ; 
and on the other, I mourned bitterly at the loss of so 
dear a friend. The last year I spent in these parts w^as 
a time of great trial on various accounts. 

From Lancashire I went to Staffordshire, and stayed 
only one year. But I had the satisfaction to see the 
work of God greatly revive : many new societies were 
raised, and a considerable number of the old ones were 
quickened and established. 

The two following years I spent in London, with some 
degree of satisfaction both to myself and others ; but can- 
not say much concerning the success of my labours here. 

From London I went to Bristol, where I continued 



MR. JOHN HAIME. 21 

three years. I have reason to bless God that my poor 
labours were acceptable, and I hope, m some measure, 
useful to the people. 

The four following years I spent about Leeds and 
Bh'stal, in Yorkshire. In the latter of these there w^as a 
very great revival of religion. Hundreds of sinners 
were awakened and turned from the evil of their ways; 
and many received a comfortable assurance of the fa- 
vour of God. 

From Yorkshire I am again returned to London. 
What successes, trials, or comforts I may meet with, I 
know not; but I am still determined to continue at my 
Master's feet, that he may fulfil in me all the good plea- 
sure of his goodness, and the work of faith with powder. 

With regard to the Arminian controversy, although 
I have frequently heard the Calvinists preach, and also 
read many of their w^ritings, yet I never had the least 
doubt of Christ's tasting death for every man, or of his 
willingness to save to the uttermost all who come unto 
God through him. 

I am, Rev. Sir, yours, &c., 

John Pawson. 



A SHORT ACCOUNT 

OF 

MR. JOHN HAIME. 

to the rev. JOHN WESLEY. 

Rev. Sir, — I was born at Shaftsbury, Dorsetshire, in 
1710. My father followed gardening, and brought me 
up to the same employment for several years, but I did 
not like it, and longed for some business that would 
allow me more liberty. In the mean time I was very 
undutiful to my parents, and much given to cursing, 
swearing, lying, and Sabbath breaking. But I was not 
easy in this way, being often afraid that the devil would 
carry me away. 

I was then placed with my uncle to learn to make 
buttons. I liked this well at first, but was soon tired of 



22 MR. JOHN HAIME. 

it. However, I stayed out the year. But my uncle then 
removing to Blandford, I was out of business. I wrought 
in many places, but stayed in none ; being like a troubled 
sea, that cannot rest. After some time I w^ent to my 
uncle, at Blandford, and wrought with him about a quar- 
ter of a year. But still I found no satisfaction in any 
thing, neither in working, eating, drinking, nor even in 
sleeping ; though neither I myself, nor any of my ac- 
quaintance could imagine what was the matter with me. 

Some time after, as I was working alone, the devil 
broke in upon me with reasonings concerning the being 
of a God, till my senses were almost gone. He then so 
strongly tempted me to blaspheme God, that I could not 
withstand. He then told me, " Thou art inevitably 
damned." And I readily beheved him. For I thought, 
though I have not cursed God outwardly, yet he look- 
eth to the heart. This consideration made me sink into 
despair, as a stone into the mighty waters. 

I now began to wander about by the river side, and 
through woods and solitary places, many times looking 
up to heaven with a heart ready to break, thinking I had 
no part there. I thought every one happy but myself ; 
the devil continually telling me there was no mercy for 
me. Yet I thought it was hard to be banished for ever 
from the presence of a merciful God. F cried to him 
for help; but I found no rehef ; it seemed to be all in 
vain. So I said, like the men of Judah, There is no hope; 
and then gave the reins to my evil desires, not caring 
which end went foremost, but giving myself up again to 
wicked company, and all their evil ways. 

If at any time I grew uneasy again, I stifled it by 
drinking, swearing, card pla)nng, lewdness, and the like 
works of darkness, which I then pursued with all greedi- 
ness. And I was hastening on when the great, tre- 
mendous God, met me as a lion in the way, and his 
Holy Spirit, whom I had been so long grieving, returned 
with greater force than ever. I had no rest day or 
night. I was afraid to go to bed, lest the devil should 
fetch me away before morning. I was afraid to shut 
my e3'es, lest I should awake in hell. I was terrified 
when asleep ; sometimes dreaming that many devils 
were in the room, ready to take me away ; sometimes 



MR. JOHN HAIME. 23 

that the world was at an end, and I was not ready to 
appear before the Judge of quick and dead. At other 
times I thought I saw the world on fire, and the wicked 
left to burn therein, with myself among them, and when 
I awoke my senses were almost gone. 

I was often on the point of destroying myself, and 
was stopped, I know not how. Then did I weep bitter- 
ly : I moaned like a dove ; I chattered like a swallow. 
But I thought, though my anguish is very great, it is not 
like those who are lifting up their eyes in torments. Then, 
for a few moments, I felt thankfulness to God. But 
still the thoughts of death and judgment followed me 
close for upward of two years, till all my bodily strength 
was gone. Returning home one day, and sitting down 
in a chair, my mother, observing my pale look and low 
voice, asked, "What is the matter with you?" But I 
durst not tell her : so I turned it off. 

One night, as I was going to bed, I durst not lie down 
without prayer. So, falling upon my knees, I began to 
consider, "What can I pray for? I have neither the 
will nor the power to do any thing good." Then it 
darted into my mind, " I will not pray ; neither will I 
be beholden to God for mercy." I arose from my knees 
without prayer ; and laid me down ; but not in peace. 
I never had such a night before. I was as if may very 
body had been in a fire : and I had a hell in my con- 
science. I was thoroughly persuaded the devil was in 
the room ; and I fully expected every moment that he 
would be let loose upon me. I judged myself to be one 
of the w^orst creatures that God ever made. I thought 
I had sinned beyond the reach of mercy. Yet all this 
time I kept to the church, though I was often afraid to 
go, lest the church or the tower should fall upon me. 

In spring I was employed by a tanner, to go with his 
carriage, and fetch dried bark. As I was returning by 
myself, I was violently tempted to blaspheme, yea, and 
hate God : till, at length, having a stick in my hand, I 
threw it toward heaven, against God, with the utmost 
enmity. Immediately I saw in the clear element a 
creature like a swan, but much larger, part black, part 
brown. It flew at me, and went just over my head. 
Then it went about forty yards, hghted on the ground,^^ 



24 MR. JOHN HAIME. 

and stood staring upon me. This was in a clear day, 
about twelve o'clock: I strove to pray, but could not. 
At length God opened my mouth. I hastened home, 
praying all the way, and earnestly resolving to sin no 
more. But I soon forgot my resolution, and multiplied 
my sins as the sands on the sea shore. 

To complete all, I enlisted myself for a soldier, in the 
queen's regiment of dragoons. When we marched for 
Gloucester, on Christmas day, in the morning, 1739, 
the thoughts of parting with all my friends, my wife 
and children, were ready to break my heart. My sins 
likewise came all to my remembrance, and my troubles 
increased night and day. Nevertheless, when I became 
acquainted with my comrades, I soon returned as a dog 
to his vomit. Yet God soon renewed my good desires. 
I began to read, and pray, and go to church every day. 
But frequently I was so tempted there, that it was as 
much as I could do to avoid blaspheming loud. Satan 
suggested, '^ Curse him ! curse him !" perhaps a hundred 
times. My heart as often replied, " No ! no I no !" 
Then he suggested, " Thou hast sinned against the Holy 
Ghost." But I still cried unto God, though the deep 
waters flowed over me, and despair closed me in on 
every side. 

Soon after we marched to camp at Kingsclear, in 
Hampshire. Thence we removed to winter quarters 
at Farringdon. I was still deeply miserable through 
sin ; but not conqueror over it. This was still my 
language : — 

" Here I repentj and sin again : 
Now I revive, and now am slain ! 
Slain with the same unhappy dart, 
Which O ! too often wounds my heart !" 

After this I quartered at Highworth, in Wiltshire. 
Among many old books which were here, I found one 
entitled, " Grace abounding to the Chief of Sinners." I 
read it with the utmost attention, and found his case nearly 
resembled my own. Having soon after orders to march 
for Scotland, we marched the first day to Banbury, where 
I found again, in a bookseller's shop, " Grace abounding 
to the Chief oi Sinners." I bought it, and thought it the 



MR. JOHN HAIME. 25 

best book I ever saw: and again I felt some hope of 
mercy. Inevery town where we stayed I went to Church. 
But I did not hear what I wanted. " Behold the Lamb 
of God, who taketh away the sin of the world.-' 

Being come to Alnwick, Satan desired to have me, that 
he might sift me as wheat. And the hand of the Lord 
came upon me with such weight as made me roar for very 
anguish of spirit. I could truly say, " The arrows of the 
Almighty are within me ; the poison thereof drinketh up 
my spirits." Many times I stopped in the street, afraid 
to go one step farther, lest I should step into hell. Then 
I cried unto the Lord, and said, " Why hast thou set me 
as a mark ? Let loose thy hand and cut me off, that I 
sin no more against thee." I said, " Is thy mercy clean 
gone for ever? And must I perish at the last? Save, 
Lord, or I perish !" But there was no answer. So all 
hope was cut off. 

I now read, and fasted, and went to Church, and pray- 
ed seventimes aday. One day as I walked by the Tweed 
side, 1 cried out aloud, being all athirst for God, " O that 
thou wouldst hear my prayer, and let my cry come up 
before thee !" The Lord heard : he sent a gracious 
answer : he lifted me up out of the dungeon. He took 
away all my sorrow and fear, and filled my soul with peace 
and joy in the Holy Ghost The stream glided sweetly 
along, and all nature seemed to rejoice with me. I was 
truly free; and had I had any to guide me, I need never 
more have come into bondage. But I was so ignorant, I 
thought I should know war no more. I began to be at ease 
in Zion, and forgot to watch and pray, till God laid his 
hand upon me again. I then again went mourning all the 
day long: till one Sunday, as I was going to Church, I 
stood like a condemned criminal before his judge, and 
said, " Lord, what am I going to Church for ? I have no- 
thing to bring or offer thee, but sin and a deceitful heart." 
I had no sooner spoke than my heart melted within me, 
and I cried earnestly to him for mercy, till my strength 
failed me, and it was with difficulty I could walk out of 
the room. 

The next morning as I was going to water my horse, 
just as he entered the river, in a moment I felt the love of 
God flowing into my soul. Instantly all pain and sorrow 

3 



26 MR. JOHN HAIME. 

fled away. No fear of hell or the devil was left; but love 
to God and all mankind now filled my ravished soul. As 
the people with whom I quartered had often the Bible and 
other good books in their hands, I told them what God 
had done for my soul : but they understood me not. How- 
ever, I doubted not but my comrade would rejoice with 
me, being counted a religious man. But I was disap- 
pointed again. His answer was, " Take care ; for Satan 
can transform himself into an angel of light." Thus 
finding none who was able to give me any instruction 
or direction, 1 soon got into unprofitable reasonings, 
which damped my fervour, so that in a little time I was 
again in heaviness. 

Soon after I was sent with the camp equipage to Lon- 
don. The next day I marched for Leith. I had scarce 
set out, when God was pleased to reveal himself in a 
most comfortable manner to my soul. And my comfort 
increased all the day, so that I hardly knew how I went. 
We waited for the ship seven days. During this time I 
was off my watch again : so that before we sailed I was 
weak, and like another man. For two days we had plea- 
sant weather : but on the third the wind suddenly rose, 
attended with furious rain. The seas frequently covered 
the ship, and, in the midst of our distress, broke into the 
main hatches. I was not (as Jonah) asleep in the sides 
of the shipj but was just at my wit's end. I prayed with 
many tears, expecting every moment the sea to be my 
grave. I was grieved that I had so abused the goodness 
of God, and troubled beyond expression. The storm 
lasted two days and two nights : then God was pleased 
to still the winds and seas. 

At our arrival in London I was somewhat refreshed in 
spirit, being truly thankful that I was out of hell. But I 
was soon in the depth of despair again, afraid of dropping 
into hell every moment. Soon after, I went to hear Mr. 
Cennick, (then one of Mr. Whitefield's preachers,) at 
Deptford. Coming back, I told him the distress of my 
soul. He said, " The work of the devil is upon you," 
and rode away! It was of the tender mercies of God, 
that I did not put an end to my life. I cried, O Lord, 
my punishment is greater than I can bear ! 

Yet I thought, if I must be damned myself, I will do 



MR. JOHN HAIME. 27 

what I can that others may be saved. So I began to 
reprove open sin, whenever I saw or heard it, and to 
warn the ungodly that if they did not repent they would 
surely perish. But if I found any that were weary and 
heavy laden, T told them to wait upon the Lord, and he 
would renew their strength. Yet I found no strength my- 
self, till reading one day in what manner God manifested 
himself to Mr. Cennick, I cried out, " Lord, if there be 
any mercy for me, reveal it to me !" I was answered by 
so strong an impression on my heart, as left me without 
a doubt, " I have loved thee with an everlasting love." 
Immediately my soul melted within me, and I was filled 
with joy unspeakable. 

Having joined my regiment again, we marched to Col- 
chester. Here I found much peace and communion with 
God, which humbled me to the dust. Our next remove 
was to Brentford, where I had the happiness of hearing 
Mr. Charles Wesley preach. When the service was over 
I had a great desire of speaking to him, but knew not how 
to be so bold. Yet, taking courage, I ventured to tell 
him my situation of mind. He gave me much encou- 
ragement, and bid me go on and not fear, neither be dis- 
mayed at any temptation. His words sunk deep, and 
were a great blessing to me for several years after. 

Soon after we had an order to march for Flanders. 
This threw me into fresh reasoning. The thought of 
leaving my country, and the dangers ensuing by sea and 
by land, sat heavy upon my spirit. I soon lost my peace, 
nay, and my hope too. I knew I had " tasted of the good 
word, and of the powers of the w^orld to come." Yet this 
gave me no comfort. Nay, it aggravated my sorrow, to 
think of losing all that God had done for me. But the 
more I struggled the deeper I sunk, till I was quite swal- 
lowed up of sorrow. And though I called upon God, 
yea, with strong cries and tears, yet for a long time I 
had no comfortable answer. 

For a long time I was so dejected and confused that I 
had no heart to keep a regular account of any thing. In 
this state I was w^hen we embarked for Flanders, in June, 
1742, and as long as we stayed there. It was on February 
the 1 8th, 1743, that we began our march from Ghent to 
Germany. When I came to my quarters my heart was 



28 MR. JOHN HAIME. 

ready to break, thinking I was upon the very brink of helL 
We halted six days, and then marched again. The day 
following, as soon as I had mounted my horse, the love 
of God was shed abroad in my heart. I knew God, for 
Christ's sake, had forgiven all my sins, and felt, " where 
the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty." This I enjoyed 
about three weeks, but then lost it, by grieving the Holy 
Spirit of God. I then walked about, much cast down, and 
knew not what to do. But, April 22d, the Lord showed 
me that I did not live as became the Gospel of Christ. 
I was greatly ashamed before God. In the evening as I 
was w^alking in the fields, with a heavy heart, I prayed 
earnestly to God that he would smite the rock, and cause 
the waters to flow. He answered my prayer. My head 
was as w^aters, and my eyes as a fountain of tears. I 
wept ; I sung. I had such a sense of the love of God, 
as surpasses all description. Well might Solomon say, 
" Love is stronpr as death." Now I saw I had " a rischt 
to the tree of life :" and knew, if I then put off the body^ 
I should enter into life eternal. 

Feehng I wanted help both from God and man, I 
wrote to Mr. Wesley : w^ho sent me a speedy answer, 
as follow^s : — 

" It is a great blessing whereof God has already made 
you a partaker : but if you continue waiting upon him you 
shall see greater things than these. This is only the be- 
ginning of the kingdom of heaven, which he will set up in 
your heart. There is yet behind the fulness of the mind 
that was in Christ, righteousness, peace, and joy in the 
Holy Ghost. It is but a little thing that men should be 
against you, while you know God is on your side. If he 
gives you any companion in the narrow way, it is well ; 
and it is well if he does not. So much the more will he 
teach, and strengthen you by himself : he will instruct 
you in the secret of your heart. And by and by he will 
raise up, as it were, out of the dust, those who shall say, 
' Come, and let us magnify his name together.' But by all 
means miss no opportunity. Speak and spare not ; declare 
what God has done for your soul ; regard not worldly 
prudence. Be not ashamed of Christ, or of his word, or of 
his work, or of his servants. Speak the truth in love, even 
in the midst of a crooked generation ; and all thinjjs shall 



MR. JOHN HAIME. 29 

work together for good, until the work of God is perfect 
in your soul." 

We now marched on through a pleasant country ; and 
my soul was full of peace. I did speak, and not spare, 
with httle interruption. Only at one time, when I was 
speakingof the goodness of God, one of our officers, (and 
one that was accounted a very religious man !) told me, 
" I deserved to be cut in pieces, and to be given to the 
devil." But I was enabled (blessed be God !) to love, 
pity, and pray for him. 

After a long and tiresome march we arrived at Dettin- 
gen. Here we lay in camp for some time, very near the 
French : only the river Mayne ran between us. June 16, 
I was ordered out on the grand guard with all expedition. 
When we came to the place appointed, I saw many of the 
French army marching on the other side of the river. It 
was not long before I heard the report of a French can- 
non. I said, "We shall have a battle to-day;" but my 
comrades did not believe me. Presently I heard another, 
and then a third ; the ball came along by us. Many of the 
French had crossed the river, and many more were in full 
march toward it. We had orders to return with all speed. 
The fifing increased very fast: and several were killed or 
wounded ; some by the cannon balls, some by the limbs 
of the trees which the balls cut off. Meantime we march- 
ed on one side of the river ; part of the French army on 
the other. The battle was soon joined with small arms, 
as well as cannon, on both sides. It was very bloody ; 
thousands on each side were sent to their long home. I 
had no sooner joined the regiment than my left-hand man 
was shot dead. I cried to God, and said, "In thee have 
I trusted, let me never be confounded !" My heart was 
filled with love, peace, and joy, more than tongue can 
express. I was in a new world. I could truly say, " Unto 
you that believe he is precious." I stood the fire of the 
enemy seven hours. And when the battle was over, I 
was sent out with a party of men to find the baggage 
wagons, but returned without success. In the meanwhile 
the army was gone and I knew not which way, I went 
to the field where the battle was fought ; but such a scene 
of human misery did I never behold ! It was enough to 
melt the most obdurate heart. I knew not now which 

3* 



30 MR. JOHN MAIME. 

way to take, being afraid of falling into the hands of the 
enemy. But as it began to rain hard, I set out, though 
not knowing where to go ; till hearing the beat of a 
drum, I went toward it, and soon rejoined the army.— 
But I could not lind the tent to which I belonged, nor 
persuade them to take me in at any other. So, being very 
wet and much fatigued, I wrapped me up in my cloak, 
and lay down and fell asleep. And though it still rained 
hard upon me, and the water ran under me, I had as 
sweet a night's rest as ever I had in my life. 

We had now to return from Germany to Flanders, to 
take up our winter quarters. In our march we were some 
time near the river Mayne, twenty miles from the field of 
battle. We saw the dead men lie in the river, and on the 
bank, as dung for the earth. Many of the French, at- 
tempting to pass the river, after we had broken down 
the bridge, were drowned; and many cast upon the banks, 
where there were none to bury them. 

Being in Ghent, I went one Sunday morning to the 
English church at the usual time. But neither minister 
nor people came. As I was walking in the church, two 
men belonging to the train came in, John Evans and Pit- 
man Stag. One of them said, '' The people are long in 
coming." I said, ''' Yet they think, however they live, of 
going to heaven when they die. But most of them, I fear, 
will be sadly disappointed." They stared at me, and 
asked what I meant. I told them, " Nothing unholy can 
dwell with a holy God." We had a little more talk, and 
appointed to meet in the evening. I found John Evans a 
strict Pharisee, doing justly, and loving mercy , but know- 
ing nothing of walking humbly with his God. But the cry 
of Pitman Stag was, '^ God, be merciful to me, a sinner !" 
We took a room without delay, and met every night to 
pray and read the Holy Scriptures. In a little time we 
were as speckled birds, as men wondered at. But some 
began to listen under the window, and soon after desired 
to meet with us. Our meetings were soon sweeter than 
our food : and I found therein such an enlargement of 
soul, and such an increase in spiritual knowledge, that 
I resolved to go, come life, come death. 

We had now twelve joined together, several of whom 
had already found peace with God ; the others were ear- 



MR. JOHN HAIME. 31 

nestly following after it : and it was not long before they 
attained. Hereby new love and zeal were kindled in us 
all : and although Satan assaulted us various ways, yet 
were we enabled to discern all his wiles, and to withstand 
all his power. Several of them are now safely landed on 
the blissful shore of a glorious immortality ; where, as a 
weather-beaten bark, worn out with storms, may I at last 
happily arrive, and find the children whom God has been 
graciously pleased to give me through the word of his 
power ! 

One night, after our meeting, I told the people we 
should have the room full before we left the city. We 
soon increased to about twenty members. And love in- 
creased so that shame and fear vanished away. Our sing- 
ing was heard afar off, and w^e regarded not those who 
made no account of our labours. Such was the increase 
of our faith, love, and joy in the Holy Ghost, that we had 
no barren meetings. Such our love to each other that 
even the sight of each other filled our hearts with Divine 
consolation. And as love increased among us, so did 
convictions among others ; and in a little time we had a 
society. So that now (as I had told them before) the 
room was too small to hold the people. 

May 1, 1744, we marched from Ghent, and encamped 
near Brussels. Our camp lay on the side of a hill : 
Ave set up our standing on a hill just opposite. We were 
easily heard by the soldiers in the camp, who soon began 
to jly as a cloudy and as doves to the windows. Here I 
gathered together my scattered sheep and lambs. They 
were the joy of my heart, and I trust to find them again 
among that great midtitude that no man can number. O 
what a work did God put into my hands ! And who is 
sufficient for these things ? But God had given me such 
faith that had I continued steadfast in the grace of God, 
neither things present, nor things to come, nor any crea- 
ture, could have hindered my growing in the knowledge 
of Jesus Christ, unto my dying hour. 

I took great delight in the eleventh chapter to the He- 
brews. I read it over and over, and prayed much for 
faith. This was first in the day, and last at night in my 
mind ; and I had no more doubt of the promises contained 
therein, than if God had called to me from heaven, and 



82 MR. JOHN HAIME. 

said, " This is my word, and it shall stand for ever."— 
When I began preaching, I did not understand one text 
in the Bible, so as to speak from it in (what is called) a 
regular manner, yet I never wanted either matter or 
words. So hath God, in all ages, " chosen the weak things 
of the world to confound the things that are mighty." I 
usually had a thousand hearers, officers, common soldiers, 
and others. Was there ever so great a work before, in so 
abandoned an army ! But we can only say there is no- 
thing too hard for God ! He worketh what, and by whom 
he pleaseth. 

I was now put to a stand. I had so much duty to do, 
the society to take care of, and to preach four or five 
times a day, that it was more than I could well perform. 
But God soon took care for this also. I looked for no 
favour from man : I wanted nothing from man : I feared 
nothing : God so increased my love and zeal. Light and 
heat filled my soul, and it was my meat and drink to do 
the will of my heavenly Father. I cried earnestly to him 
to clear my way, and remove all hinderances. Glory be 
to his name, he did so : for two years after this time, I 
was entirely at my liberty. I found means of hiring others 
to do my duty, which proved an unspeakable advantage. 
The work was great before ; but we soon found a greater 
increase of it than ever. If Christianity consists in love 
and obedience to God, and love to all men, friends and 
enemies, we had now got a Christian society: we had 
the good land in possession. But this was not enough : 
still there was as earnest a cry in our souls for all the 
mind which was in Christ, as there was in David for 
the water of the well of Bethlehem. 

Our general method was, as soon as we were settled 
in any camp, to build a tabernacle, containing two, three, 
or four rooms, as we saw convenient. One day three 
officers came to see our chapel, as they called it. They 
asked many questions : one in particular asked me what 
I preached? I answered, " I preach against swearing, 
whoring, and drunkenness, and exhort men to repent of 
alltheir sins, that they may not perish." He began swear- 
ing horribly, and said, if it was in his power, he would 
have me whipped to death. I told him, " Sir, you have a 
commission over men, but I have a commission from God 



MR. JOHN HAIME. 33 

to tell you that you must either repent of your sins, or 
perish everlastingly." He went away, and I went on, 
being never better than when I was preaching or at 
prayer, for the Lord gave such a blessing to his word, 
that I thought every discourse lost, under which no one 
was either convicted or converted to God. 

We had now three hundred in the society, and six 
preachers, beside myself. It was therefore no wonder 
that many of the officers and chaplains endeavoured to 
stop the work. But it was altogether lost labour : He 
that sitteth in heaven laughed them to scorn. And I 
doubt not but he would have given me strength to have 
suffered death, rather than have given them up. 

It was reported by many that I w^as utterly distracted. 

Others endeavored to incense the field marshal against 

me. I was examined several times ; but, blessed be God, 

he stood by me, and encouraged me to go on, to speak and 

not hold my peace; neither did he suffer any man to set 

upon me to hurt me. And so great was my love and 

joy in believing, that it carried me above all those things 

which would otherwise have been grievous to flesh and 

blood, so that all was pleasant to me : — 

" The winter's night and summer's day 
Fled imperceptibly away." 

I frequently walked between twenty and thirty miles a 
day ; and preached five and thirty times in the space of 
seven days. So great was my love to God, and to the 
souls which he hath purchased with his own blood. Many 
times I have forgotten to take any refreshment for ten 
hours together. I had at this time three armies against 
me : the French army, the wicked English army, and an 
army of devils. But I feared them not : for my life was 
hid with Christ in God. He supported me through all : 
and I trust will be my God and my guide even unto death. 

While the work of God thus flourished among the 
English, he visited also the Hanoverian army. A few 
of them began to meet together ; and their number daily 
increased. But they were quickly ordered to meet no 
more. They were very unwilling to desist. But some of 
them being severely punished, the rest did not dare to 
disobey. Jt is clear the devil and the world will suffer 
a man to be any thing, but a real Christian ! 



34 MR. JOHN HAIME. 

My present comrade was an extremely wicked man. 
He came home one day, cursing and swearing that he 
had lost his money ; he searched for it, and after some 
time found it. He threw it on the table and said, " There 
is my ducat : but no thanks to God, any more than to the 
devil." I wrote down the words, and complained to our 
commanding officer. After a few days he was tried by a 
court martial. The officer asked what I had to say 
against him ? I gave him the words in writing. When 
he read them, he asked me if I wasnot ashamed to take 
account of such matters as this ? I answered, " No, sir : 
if I had heard such words spoken against his majesty 
King George, would not you have counted me a villain if 
I had concealed them?" His mouth was stopped, and 
the man cried for pardon. The captain told him he was 
worthy of death, by the law of God and man : and asked 
me, " What I desired to have done ?" I answered, I 
desired only to be parted from him, and I hoped he would 
repent. Orders were given that we should be parted. 
This also was a matter of great thankfulness. 

From camp we removed to our winter quarters at 
Bruges. Here we had a lively society : but our preaching 
room was far too small to contain the congregation. 
There was a very spacious place appointed lor the public 
worship of our army, commonly called the English 
Church. General Sinclair was now our commanding 
officer. I went to his house, and begged leave to speak to 
him. He told me, if I had business with him, I should have 
sent my captain, and not come to him myself. I told him 
I had the hberty of speaking to the Duke of Cumberland. 
He then asked me what I wanted ? I said, " Please your 
honour, I come to beg a great favour ; that I may have 
the use of the English church to pray in, and exhort my 
comrades to flee from the wrath to come." He was very 
angry, and told me I should not preach or pray anywhere 
but in the barracks. He asked, " But how came you to 
preach ?" I said, ^' The Spirit of God constrains me to 
call my fellow sinners to repentance." He said, " Then 
you must restrain that Spirit." I told him, '' I would 
die first." He said, " You are in my hand." and turned 
away in a great rage. 

I cried to the Lord for more faith, that I might never 



MR. JOHN HAIME. 35 

deny him, whatsoever I was called to suffer ; but might 
own him before men and devils : and very soon after 
God removed this hinderance out of the way ; General 
Sinclair was removed from Bruges, and General Pon- 
sonby took his place. I went to his house, and was with- 
out difficulty admitted to his presence. Upon his asking 
what I wanted, I said, " I beg your honour will grant us 
the use of the English church, that we may meet together 
and worship God." He asked, " What religion are you 
of?" I answered, "Of the Church of England." Then, 
said he, " You shall have it." I went to the clerk for 
the keys ; but he said, '' The chaplain forbade it, and I 
should not have them." The general then gave me an 
order under his hand. So they were delivered. I fixed 
up advertisements in several parts of the town, " Preach- 
ing every day at two o'clock, in the EngUsh church." 
And we had every day a numerous congregation, both 
of soldiers and townsfolk. 

We had some good singers among us, and one, in 
particular, who was a master of music. It pleased God 
to make this one great means of drawing many to hear 
his word. One Sunday the clerk gave out a psalm. It 
was sung in a hymn tune ; and sung so well that the offi- 
cers and their wives were quite delighted with it. The 
society then agreed to go all together to Church every 
Sunday. On the next Sunday we began. And when the 
clerk gave out the first line of the psalm, one of us set 
the tune, and the rest followed him. It was a resem- 
blance of heaven upon earth. Such a company of 
Christian soldiers singing together, w^ith the spirit and 
the understanding also, gave such life to the ordinance, 
that none but the most vicious and abandoned could 
remain entirely unaffected. 

The spring following we took the field again : and on 
May 11, 1745, we had a full trial of our faith at Fonte- 
noy. Some days before, one of our brethren standing at 
his tent door, broke out into raptures of joy, knowing his 
departure w^as at hand ; and when he went into the battle 
declared, " I am going to rest in the bosom of Jesus." 
Indeed, this day God was pleased to prove our little flock, 
and to show them his mighty power. They showed such 
courage and boldness in the fight as made the officers as 



36 MR. JOHN HAIME. 

well as the soldiers amazed. When wounded, some cried 
out, " I am going to my Beloved." Others, " Come, Lord 
Jesus, come quickly." And many that were not wounded 
earnestly desired to he dissolved and to he with Christ, 
When W. Clements had his arm broke by a musket ball, 
they would have carried him out of the battle. But he 
said, " No : I have an arm left to hold my sword : I will 
not go yet." And when a second shot broke his other 
arm, he said, " I am as happy as I can be out of para- 
dise." John Evans having both his legs taken off by a 
cannon ball, was laid across a cannon to die : where, 
as long as he could speak, he was praising God and 
blessing him with joyful lips. 

For my own part, I stood the hottest fire of the enemy 
for above seven hours. But I told my comrades, " The 
French had no ball made that will kill me this day." 
After about seven hours, a cannon ball killed my horse 
under me. An officer cried out aloud, " Haime ! where 
is your God now?" I answered, "Sir, he is here with 
me ; and he will bring me out of this battle." Presently 
a cannon ball took off his head. My horse fell upon me, 
and some cried out, " Haime is gone !" Bat I replied, 
'' He is not gone yet." I soon disengaged myself, and 
walked on, praising God. I was exposed both to the 
enemy and to our own horse ; but that did not discourage 
me at all : for I knew the God of Jacob was with me. 
I had a long way to go through all our horse, the balls 
flying on every side. And all the way multitudes lay 
bleeding, groaning, dying, or just dead. Surely I was as 
in the liery furnace ; but it did not singe a hair of my 
head. The hotter the battle grew, the more strength was 
given me. I was as full of joy as I could contain. As 
I was quitting the field, I met one of our brethren, with a 
little dish in his hand, seeking water. I did not know him 
at first, being covered with blood. He smiled and said, 
" Brother Haime, I have got a sore wound." I asked, 
"Have you got Christ in your heart?" He said, ^' I 
have ; and I have had him all this day." I have seen 
many good and glorious days, with much of the power 
of God. But I never saw more of it than this day. 
Glory be to God for all his mercies ! Among the dead, 
there was great plenty of watches, and gold, and silver. 



MR. JOHN HAIME. 37 

One asked me, Will not you get something? I answered, 
^^ No, I have got Christ, I will have no plunder." 

But the greatest loss I sustained was that of my fellow 
labourers. William Clements was sent to the hospital, 
John Evans, brothers Bishop and Greenwood were killed 
in the battle. Two others, who used to speak boldly, fell 
into Antinomianism. So I was left alone : but I was 
persuaded, this also was for my good. And seeing 
iniquity so much abound, and the love of many waxing 
cold, it added wings to my devotion. And my faith grew 
daily, as a tree planted by the water side. 

One of those Antinomian preachers professed to be 
always happy, but was frequently drunk twice a day. 
One Sunday, when I was five or six miles off, he took an 
opportunity of venting his devilish opinions. One hasted 
after me, and begged me to return. I did so ; but the 
mischief was done. He had convinced many that we 
have nothing to do with the law, either before or after our 
conversion. When I came in, the people looked greatly 
confused: 1 perceived there was a great rent in the 
society, and after preaching and prayer said, " You that 
are for the old doctrine, which you have heard from the 
beginning, follow me." Out of the three hundred I lost 
about fifty ; but the Lord soon gave me fifty more. The 
two Antinomians set up for themselves, until lying, drunk- 
enness, and many other sins destroyed both preachers and 
people, all but a few that came back to their brethren. 

We had no sacrament administered in the army for a 
long season. I was greatly troubled, and complained 
aloud in the open camp of the neglect. The chaplains 
were exceedingly displeased. But the duke of Cumber- 
land, hearing of it, ordered that it should be administered 
every Lord's day to one regiment or the other. 

The duke hearing many complaints of me, inquired 
who I was ; if I did my duty ; if I would fight; and if 
I prayed for a blessing on the king and his arms. They 
told his royal highness I did all this as well as any man 
in the regiment. He asked, " Then what have you to say 
against him ?" They said, '' Why, he prays and preaches 
so much, that there is no rest for him." Afterward the 
duke talked with me himself, and asked me many ques- 
tions. He seemed so well satisfied with my answers, that 

4 



38 MR. JOHN HAIME. 

he bade me, *^ Go on ;" and gave out a general order? 
that I might preach any where, and no man should 
molest me. 

I was preaching one day; when the duke, unknown to 
me, came to hear me. I that day desired the soldiers 
never to come there, or to any place of public worship, 
so as to neglect any duty. I exhorted them to be ready 
at all calls, and to obey those who had rule over them : 
and if called out to battle, to stand fast, yea, if needful, 
fight up to the knees in blood. I said, " You fight for a 
good cause, and for a good king, and in defence of your 
country. And this is no way contrary to the tenderest 
conscience, as many of you found at the battle of Fon- 
tenoy, when both you and 1 did our duty, and yet were 
all the time filled with love, and peace, and joy in the 
Holy Ghost." 

I had now for some years endeavoured to keep a con- 
science void of offence toward God and toward man: and 
for near three years I had known that God for Christ's 
sake had forgiven all my sins. I had enjoyed the full 
assurance of faith, which made me rejoice in all condi- 
tions : wet and weary, cold and hungry, I was happy ; find- 
ing a daily increase in faith and love. I had constant com- 
munion with the Father and the Son. It was my delight 
to do his blessed will, to do good to them that hated me, 
and to call all sinners to behold the Lamb of God which 
taketh away the sin of the world. But O ! how did the 
mighty fall, and the weapons of war perish ! April 6, 
1746, I was off my watch, and fell by a grievous temp- 
tation. It came as quick as hghtning ; I knew not if I 
was in my senses ; but I fell, and the Spirit of God de- 
parted from me. It was a great mercy that I did not fall 
into hell ! Blessed be God for that word, '' If any man 
sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ 
the righteous." But it was twenty years before I found 
him to be an advocate for me with the Father again. 

My fall was both gradual and instantaneous. I first 
grew negligent in watching and prayer, and in reading the 
Scriptures. I then indulged myself more and more, lay- 
ing out upon my own appetite what I before gave to my 
poor brethren. I next began to indulge the lust of the 
eyes, to look at and covet pleasing things, till by little 



MR. JOHN HAIME. 39 

and little I became shorn of my strength, having left my 
former love. For many years I had scrupled buying or 
selling the least thing on the Lord's day. The sixth of 
April was on a Sabbath. That day I was sent to Antwerp 
for forage : several of my comrades desired me to buy 
them some things, which accordingly I did. I had an 
inward check, but I overruled it, and quickly after became 
a prey to the enemy. Instantly my condemnation w^as 
so great, that I was on the point of destroying myself: 
God restrained me from this, but Satan was let loose, and 
followed me by day and by night. The agony of my 
mind weighed down my body, and threw me into a bloody 
flux. I was carried to a hospital, just dropping into 
hell. But the Lord upheld me with an unseen hand, 
quivering over the great gulf. 

Before my fall, my sight was so strong that I could 
look steadfastly on the sun at noonday. But after it, I 
could not look a man in the face, nor bear to be in any 
company. Indeed, I thought myself far more fit for the 
society of devils than of men : every thing was a burden 
to me, and grievous to be borne. The roads, the hedges, 
the trees ; every thing seemed cursed of God. Nature 
seemed void of God, and in the possession of the devil. 
The fowls of the air and the beasts of the field all ap- 
peared in a league against me. I had not one ray of hope, 
but a fearful looking for of fiery indignation. Very fre- 
quentlyJudas was represented to me ashanging just before 
me. Had I been cut with knives from head to foot, I 
could not have been more sore in my flesh than in my 
spirit. How true is it, the spirit of man may sustain his 
infirmities ; but a wounded spirit who can bear ! 

I clearly saw the unshaken faith, the peace, joy, and 
love, which I had cast away, and felt the return of pride, 
anger, self-will, and every other devilish temper. And I 
knew, by melancholy experience, that my last state was 
worse than the first. I was one day drawn out into the 
woods, lamenting my forlorn state ; and on a sudden I 
began to weep bitterly. From weeping I fell to howling 
like a wild beast, so that the woods resounded. Yet 
could I say, notwithstanding my bitter cry, My stroke is 
heavier than my groaning. Nevertheless, I could not 
say, " Lord, have mercy upon me," if I could have pur- 
chased heaven thereby. 



40 



MR. JOHN HAIME. 



So great was the displeasure of God against me, that 
he in a great measure took away the sight of my eyes, 
I could not see the sun for more than eight months; 
even in the clearest summer day it always appeared to 
me like a mass of blood : at the same time I lost the use 
of my knees. I cannot describe what I felt. I could 
truly say, "Thou hast sent fire into my bones." I was 
often as hot as if I was burning to death : many times I 
looked to see if my clothes were not on fire. I have 
gone into a river to cool myself ; but it was all the same. 
For what could quench the wrath of his indignation, 
that was let loose upon me? 

At other times, in the midst of summer, I have been so 
cold, that I knew not how to bear it. All the clothes I 
could put on had no effect, but my flesh shivered, and my 
very bones quaked. God grant, reader, that you and I 
may never feel how hot or cold it is in hell. 

I was afraid to pray ; for I thought the die was cast, 
and my damnation sealed. So I thought it availed not, 
if all the saints upon earth, and all the angels in heaven, 
should intercede for me. I was angry at God, angry 
at myself, and angry at the devil. I thought I was pos- 
sessed with more devils than Mary Magdalene. I cannot 
remember that I had one comfortable hope for seven 
years together. Only while I was preaching to others, 
my distress was a little abated. But some may inquire, 
What could move me to preach, while I was in such a 
forlorn condition? They must ask of God, for I cannot 
tell : his ways herein are past my finding out. 

In all my trials I have, by the grace of God, invariably 
kept to one point, presichm^ repenta7ire toward God^ and 
faith in our Lord Jesus Christ: testifying that by grace 
ye are saved through faith : that now is the day of salva- 
tion ; and that this salvation is for all ; that Christ tasted 
death for every man. I always testified that ivithout holi- 
ness no man should see the Lord ; and that if any, though 
ever so holy, draw back, they will perish everlastingly. 
I continually expected this would be my lot: yet after 
some years I again attempted to pray. With this, Satan 
was not well pleased; for oneday,asI was walking alone, 
and faintly crying for mercy, suddenly such a hot blast of 
brimstone flashed in my face as almost took away my 



MR. JOHN HAIME. 41 

breath. And presently after, as I walked along, an in- 
visible power struck up my heels, and threw me violently 
upon my face. 

When we came back to Holland, I had now and then 
a spark of hope. One Sunday I went to church, where 
the Lord's Supper was to be administered. I had a great 
desire to partake of it. But the enemy came in like a 
flood to hinder me, pouring in temptations of every kind. 
I resisted him with my might, till, through the agony of 
my mind, the blood gushed out of my mouth and nose. 
However, I was enabled to conquer, and to partake of 
the blessed elements. So I still waited on God in the way 
of his judgments, and he led mein a way I hadnotknown. 

Whatever my inward distress was, I always endea- 
voured to appear free among the people. And it pleased 
God to make me fruitful in the land of my affliction. He 
gave me favour in their sight ; and many children were 
born unto the Lord. Indeed, I could speak but very little 
Dutch, with regard to common things; but when we came 
to talk of the things of God 1 could speak a great deal. 
And after I had been at prayer, many have told me they 
could understand almost every word I said. But what 
was this to me ? I was miserable still, having no com- 
fortable sense of the presence and favour of God. 

I had heard of an old experienced Christian at Rotter- 
dam. I went to see him, and found him in an upper room, 
furnished like that which the Shunamite prepared for Eli- 
sha. He looked at me, but did not speak one word. How- 
ever, I told him a little of my experience. He looked 
earnestly at me, and soon began to speak, and tell me 
all his heart. He said he had lived for several years in 
the favour and love of God, when thinking himself stronger 
than he was, Satan got an advantage over him. The Spirit 
departed from him ; his strength was gone ; and he knew 
not where to fly for refuge. For ten years sin held him 
in its iron bondage, and in inexpressible anguish and de- 
spair. But one day as he was making his complaint to 
God, on a sudden a light broke in : sorrow fled away, and 
his soul was like the chariots of Aminadab. The change 
was so great that he was utterly lost in wonder, love, and 
praise. He knew God had " created a clean heart, and 
renewed a right spirit within him." And he had now lived 

4* 



42 MR. JOHN HAIME. 

thirty years without one doubt of what God had wrought. 
This gave me considerable satisfaction : but it lasted only 
a short time. 

When we were going for winter quarters into a town 
in Holland, I was sent thither before our troop. A gen- 
tleman sent for me, and asked "if I knew John Haime." 
I said, " I am the man." He said, " A gentlewoman in 
the town wants to speak with you." I went to her house, 
and she bade me welcome. After a little conversation 
she asked me, " Do you believe that Christ died for all 
the world ?" Upon my answering, " I do," she replied, 
" I do not believe one word of it. But, as you know he 
died for you, and I know he died for me, we will only 
talk of his love to poor sinners." We were soon as well 
acquainted as if we had lived together many years, and 
her house became my home. I asked how many she had 
in family. She said, seven beside herself. I asked, " W^hat 
is to become of all these, that you are so easy about 
them ?" She said, " The Lord will call them in his due 
time, if they belong to him." I asked, " Shall we pray 
for them ?" She said, " Yes :" so I began that evening. 
In a few days the servant maid was cut to the heart: 
next, one of her sons was convicted of sin, and soon after 
converted to God. And before we left the town the whole 
family were athirst for salvation. When the time of our 
marching drew near, she was in great trouble. But there 
was no help : so we took our leave of each other to meet 
no more till the morning of the resurrection. 

At another time I was quartered at Meerkirk, in Hol- 
land, at a young woman's, whose father and mother were 
lately dead. She had many cattle, some of which died 
daily with the distemper : but she never murmured. I 
never before met with a woman that was so ready in the 
Scriptures ; I could not mention any text, but she would 
readily tell the meaning of it. So that it was no wonder 
she was thought by others, as well as by herself, to be a 
prime Christian. I was almost of the same mind at first: 
but when I had narrowly observed her, I was thoroughly 
convinced she was deceived, and judged it my duty to 
undeceive her. I told her, " You are not born of God, 
you have no living faith." She heard me with much com- 
posure of mind ; but she did not believe me. I continued 



MR. JOHN HAIME. 43 

for three weeks pressing it upon her, at all opportunities. 
And one evening the Lord made a few words which I 
spoke sharper than a two-edged sword. Conviction so 
fastened upon her heart, that she was soon obliged to 
take her bed. She lay about seven days in deep distress. 
She had then a comfortable hope ; and this strengthened 
her body for a few days. But then her convictions re- 
turned so heavy that she was obliged to take to her bed 
again, in great agony of mind. The town's people 
were alarmed, and ran in crowds to inquire what was 
the matter: " What could distress her who had enough 
of this world's wealth, and was so good a woman ?" But 
they gave her no satisfaction. As soon as they were 
gone, she immediately called for me, and cried out, "O 
John ! I shall go to hell: the devil will carry me away." 
I said, " No ! you shall not go to hell! The Lord died 
for poor sinners." She lay in this distress about ten days, 
and was brought to the gates of death. But the good 
Samaritan then passed by, poured wine and oil into her 
wounds, and healed both soul and body ; so that she 
broke out, "Jehovah is my strength and my song. He 
is my salvation. Come, all that fear the Lord, and I will 
tell you what he hath done for my soul." 

I now thought it would be a blessing both to herself 
and her neighbours, if she would pray with them. She 
agreed to do so. I commonly prayed first, and she after- 
ward. Sometimes she prayed half an hour together ; and 
often with such demonstration of the Spirit, as well as 
such understanding, that the whole house seemed full of 
the presence of the Lord. At other times she wept like a 
child, and said, " Lord ! what is this that thou hast done? 
Thou hast sent a man from another nation as an instru- 
ment of saving me from ruin ! I was rich before, and 
increased in goods, and knew not that I was blind and 
naked." Many of her friends and neighbours were con- 
cerned for her ; but not so much as she was concerned 
for them, as well knowing they were seeking death in the 
error of their life. This she declared to them without 
reserve ; and the publishing this strange doctrine spread 
our names far and near; not only through the town, but 
through the adjacent country. This brought many from 
distant towns to see her, who usually returned, blessing 



44 MR. JOHN HAIME. 

God for the consolation. Some came upward of twenty 
miles in a morning. After breakfast, I used to pray first ; 
and she went on. Many of our visitants were much af- 
fected, and wept bitterly. And the impression did not 
soon wear off. By this means we became much ac- 
quainted with many of the Christians in Holland. They 
were a free, loving people. So we found them: and so 
did many of the Methodist soldiers : for they gave them 
house-room and firing freely. And is not the promise of 
our Lord sure? "Whosoever shall give unto one of 
these a cup of cold water only, in the name of a disciple, 
shall in no wise lose his reward." 

All this time I was still buffeted with sore temptations. 
1 thought that I was worse than Cain ; that I had " cru- 
cified the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open 
shame." In rough weather, it was often suggested to me, 
" This is on your account ! See, the earth is cursed for 
your sake ; and it will be no better till you are in hell." 
I expected soon to be a prey for devils, as I was driven 
from all the happiness I once enjoyed. Frequently the 
trouble of my mind made me so weak in body that it was 
with the greatest difficulty I performed my exercise. 
The Lord had indeed given me '' a trembling heart, and 
failing of eyes, and sorrow of mind. And my fife did 
hang in doubt before me, and I feared day and night, 
having no assurance of my life." Often did 1 wish I had 
never been converted ; often, that I had never been born. 
Sometimes I could not bear the sight of a good man with- 
out pain ; much less be in his company. Yet I preached 
every day, and endeavoured to appear open and free to 
my brethren. I encouraged them that were tempted 
''not to fear; the Lord would soon appear for himself." 
Meantime I continued to thunder out the terrors of the 
law against the ungodly ; although some said I was too 
positive. Too positive ! What? In declaring the pro- 
mises and threatenings of God ? Nay, if I cannot be sure 
of these, I will say to the Bible as the devil did to our 
Lord, " What have I to do with thee?" 

At one time I cannot remember that I had any parti- 
cular temptation for some weeks. Now I thought God 
had forsaken me, and the devil had no need to trouble 
himself about me. He then set the case of Francis Spira 



MR. JOHN HAIME. 45 

before me, so that I sunk into black despair. Every 
thing seemed to make against me. I could not open the 
Bible any where but it condemned me. I was much dis- 
tressed with dreams and visions of the night. I dreamed 
one night that I was in hell ; another, that I was on 
Mount Etna ; that on a sudden it shook and trembled ex- 
ceedingly ; and that, at last, it split asunder in several 
places, and sunk into the burning lake, all but that little 
spot on which I stood. O how thankful was I for my 
preservation ! And this continued for a while, even after 
I awoke: but then it fled away as a dream. 

I was often violently tempted to curse and swear and 
blaspheme before and after, and even while I was preach- 
ing. Sometimes, w^hen I was in the midst of the congre- 
gation, I could hardly refrain from laughing aloud, yea, 
from uttering all kinds of ribaldry and filthy conversa- 
tion. I thought there was none that loved me now, none 
that had any concern for my soul, but that God had taken 
away from every body the affection which they once had. 
I cried out, " I have sinned ! What shall I do unto thee, O 
thou Preserver of men? Why hast thou set me as a mark 
against thee, so that I am a burden to myself?" I said, 
" I am the man that hath seen affliction by the rod of his 
wrath." Frequently, as I was going to preach, the devil 
has set upon me as a Uon. telling me he would have me 
just then, so that it has thrown me into a cold sweat. In 
this agony I have often catched hold of the Bible and 
read, " If any man sin, we have an advocate with the 
Father, Jesus Christ the righteous." I have said to the 
enemy, " This is the word of God, and thou canst not 
deny it." Hereat he would be like a man that shrunk 
back from the thrust of a sword. But he would be at me 
again. I again met him in the same way, till at last 
(blessed be God !) he fled from me. A'nd even in the 
midst of his sharpest assaults, God gave me just strength 
enough to bear them. He fulfilled his word, " My grace 
is sufficient for thee ; my strength is made perfect in thy 
weakness." When he has strongly suggested, just as I 
was going to preach, " I will have thee at last," I have 
answered, (sometimes with too much anger,) "I will 
have another out of thy hand first." And many, while 
I was myself in the deep, were truly convinced and con- 
verted to God. 



46 MR. JOHN HAIME. 

When I returned to England, and was discharged from 
the army, I went to Mr. Wesley, and asked if he would 
permit me to labour with him as a traveUing preacher. 
He was willing ; so I immediately went into a circuit. 
But this was far from dehvering me from that inexpressi- 
ble burden of soul under which I still laboured. Hence 
it was that I could neither be satisfied with preaching, nor 
without ; and that wherever I went, I was not able to 
stay long in one place ; but was continually wandering 
to and fro, seeking rest but finding none. On this account 
many thought me very unstable, and looked very coldly 
upon me, as they were wholly unacquainted with the 
exercises of soul which T laboured under. I thought if 
David or Peter had been living, they would have pitied 
me But many of my friends had not even tasted of 
that bread and water of affliction which had been my 
meat and drink for many years. May they walk so 
humbly and closely with God that they may never 
taste it ! 

After I had continued some time as a travelling preach- 
er, Mr. Wesley took me to travel with him. He knew I 
was fallen from my steadfastness; but he knew likewise 
how to bear with me. And when I was absent he com- 
forted me by his letters, which were a means, under 
God, of saving me from utter despair. One of them 
was as follows : — 

^^ London^ June 21, 1748. 
*' My Dear Brother, — Think it not strange con- 
cerning the fiery trial which God hath seen good to try 
you with. Indeed, the chastisement, for the present, is not 
joyousbutgrievous ; nevertheless it will, by and by, bring 
forth the peaceable fruits of righteousness. It is good 
for you to be in the fiery furnace ; though the flesh be 
weary to bear it, you shall be purified therein, but not 
consumed. For there is one with you, whose form is as 
the Son of God. O look up ! Take knowledge of him 
who spreads underneath you his everlasting arms I Lean 
upon him with the whole weight of your soul ; he is 
yours ; lay hold upon him ! 

Away let grief and sighing flee, 
Jesus hath died for thee, for thee! 



MR. JOHN HAIME. 47 

^* Mercy and peace shall not forsake you. Through 
every threatening cloud look up ; and wait for happy 
days." 

In this miserable condition I went to Shaftsbury to see 
my friends, and spent several days. When one and ano- 
ther came and asked me, What news ? I told them, 
" Good news ; Christ died to save sinners." But it seem- 
ed to them as an idle tale ; they " cared for none of these 
things." One day, being half asleep, I was, as it were, 
thunderstruck with an inward voice, saying, " What dost 
thou here?" I cried to the Lord for mercy, and gave 
notice that on the Sunday following I would preach in a 
place at the end of the town, where four ways met. The 
town and villages round were soon alarmed, and at the 
time appointed I believe there were three or four thousand 
people. My inward trouble seemed suspended. I got upon 
a wall about seven feet high, and began with prayer. I 
then gave out my text, "Behold theday comeththat shall 
burn as an oven ; and all the proud, yea, and all that do 
wickedly,shall be as stubble : and the day that cometh shall 
burn them up, saith the Lord of hosts, that it shall leave 
them neither root nor branch," Mai. iv, 1. Surely, I 
preached that sermon with the power of the Holy Ghost 
sent down from heaven. Twelve, if not fourteen, were 
then convinced of sin ; some of whom are, I trust, long 
ago, safely lodged in Abraham's bosom. In a few weeks, 
fifty persons were joined together in society. I now 
preached in a large room several times a week. But the 
people were eager to build a house, and appointed a time 
of meeting to consider of the means : but on the same 
day I was taken up and put into prison, two men having 
sworn flatly against me that I had made a riot. After I 
had been in prison a night and part of a day, I was taken 
to a public house. It was soon full of people : I immedi- 
ately began preaching to them ; and the lions quickly 
became lambs. A messenger then came in to let me 
know that I must appear before the mayor and aldermen, 
I did so. The town clerk told me, " they would not send 
me to Dorchester jail if I would work a miracle " I told 
them, " That is done already. Many swearers and drunk- 
ards are become sober. God-fearing men." A lawyer 



48 MR. JOHN HAIME. 

said, " Well, if you will take my advice, you shall not go 
to prison." I replied, " I suppose you mean if I will give 
over preaching. But that I dare not do." I was then, 
without any more ado, hurried away to Dorchester. 

My body was now in prison ; but that had been a 
thing of little consequence, had not my soul remained in 
prison also ; in the dungeon of despair. The jailer soon 
came, and fell into conversation with me ; but when I 
began to preach Jesus, as the only Saviour of sinners, he 
quickly left me to preach to my fellow-prisoners. Many 
of these having no righteousness of their' own to bring to 
God, were willing to hear of being saved by grace. So 
I preached to them several times while I was in prison, 
and they seemed greatly affected. Meantime, God raised 
up two Quakers at Shaftsbury, who became bound for 
my appearance at the quarter sessions. I had been in 
prison but eight days, when one of these came to fetch me 
out, and brought money to pay the prison fees, and all 
other expenses. Had I not been put in prison, it is likely 
some of those prisoners would never have heard the Gos- 
pel. I saw, therefore, that God did all things well. Be- 
ing come back, I began preaching again ; and God was 
present with the people. I soon received a letter from a 
gentleman at London, bidding me employ two counsellors 
and an attorney, and draw upon him for whatever mo- 
ney I wanted. I carried this letter to the postmaster, and 
asked if he was willing to let me have money upon it. 
He said, "Yes; as much as you please." This was 
soon noised about the town: so the magistrates were 
glad to make up the matter. And the work of God so 
increased that in a little time we had eighty in society. 

During my great distress of mind I went twice into 
Ireland, as a travelling preacher ; and in each passage 
over the sea I was very near being cast away. October 
27, 1751, 1 preached at Mountmelick. The next morn- 
ing, after I had travelled about two miles, suddenly my 
senses failed me. I was soon insensible where I was, and 
where I came from. I supported myself a considerable 
time by a gate in the road ; as I did not know which way 
to go, nor what place to ask for. At length my under- 
standing returned, and I began to weep. But what I 
passed through I cannot express, so unspeakable was my 



I 



MR. JOHN HAIME. 49 

anguish. But the tender mercy of God supported me 
therein, that my spirit might not fail before him. 

In the beginning of September, 1766, I was living at 
Shaftsbury, when Mr. Wesley passing through in his 
way to Cornwall, I asked if it would be agreeable for 
me to be at his house in London a few days. He said, 
" Yes ; as long as you please ;" but before I set out I 
received the following letter: — 

" St. Ives, Cormoall, Sept. 16, 1766. 
*' My Dear Brother, — I think you have no need to 
go to London. God has, it seems, provided a place for 
you here. Mr. Hoskins wants a worn-out preacher to 
live with him, to take care of his familj^, and to pray 
with them morning and evening.-' 

I went down. As soon as Mr. Hoskins saw me, he 
said, " You are welcome to stay here as long as you 
live." But no sooner did I fix there, than I was, if pos- 
sible, ten times worse than before. In vain I strove to 
make myself easy ; the more I strove, the more miser- 
able I was : not that I wanted any thing which this 
world can afford. But can this world satisfy a soul 
that was made for God ? The distress of mind soon 
became intolerable : it was a burden too heavy for me 
to bear. It seemed to me that unless I got some relief, 
I must die in despair. One day I retired into the hall, 
fell on my face, and cried for mercy ; but got no answer* 
I got up, and walked up and down the room, wringing 
my hands, and crying like to break my heart ; begging 
of God for Christ's sake, if there was any mercy for me, 
to help me. And blessed be his name, all on a sudden, 
I found such a change through my soul and body as 
is past description. I was afraid I should alarm the 
whole house with the expressions of my joy. I had a 
full witness from the Spirit of God that I should not find 
that bondage any more. Nor have I ever found it to 
this day. Glory be to God for all his mercy ! 

But notwithstanding this wonderful change, I had not 
the faith which I had once. But I found a very great 
alteration in reading the Scriptures. The promises to 
me opened more and more ; and I expected to find some 
great thing wrought upon me all at once. But God's 

5 



50 MR. JOHN HAIME. 

ways are not as our ways, nor his thoughts as our 
thoughts. He led me by a way I had not known. He 
greatly deepened his work in my soul, and drove out 
his enemies by little and little, till I could clearly say, 
'' Thy will be done." The lion became a lamb, and I 
found the truth of that word by happy experience, 
'' thou wilt keep his soul in perfect peace, whose mind is 
stayed on thee !" 

I now thought I would stay with Mr. Hoskins ; for 
he was very kind to me. But I soon began to be so 
bound in spirit, that I could hardly pray in the family : 
nay, I could not ask a blessing on our food, without much 
hesitation and stammering. And all the comforts of 
life, which were then in great plenty, became altogether 
comfortless. Mr, Story being then in the round, I made 
my complaint to him. He told me he would take my 
place for a month, if I would spend that time in the 
circuit This I gladly undertook ; and although for the 
space of three weeks my coat was not once dry upon 
my back, yet I w^as warmer within, and far more com- 
fortable, than in a w^arm parlour. 

When Mr. Story was gone, I thought I would stay 
here a few days, and then travel. But the first night I 
was as restless as ever : so in the morning I took my 
leave, and in January, 1767, went into the east of Corn- 
wall. I found it was good for me to be there ; my faith 
increased daily. And, blessed be God, I found love, 
and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost, springing up in 
my soul. I trust God will continue them till my dying 
day, and then receive me to himself. 

I had long been travelling in the wilderness, in " a 
land of deserts and pits, a land of drought and of the 
shadow of death.'' This had been my lot for twenty 
years, a just judgment of the Almighty for my sin. Bless- 
ed be his name, that he did not wholly cast me off! But 
I saw clearly that nothing would avail, but a fresh appli- 
cation of the Saviour's blood to my wounded soul. I 
had now a happy sense of this ; which, with the thoughts 
of his forbearing with me twenty years before my con 
version ; his filling me with his love for three years ; his 
dealings with me in my fallen condition, and my pre- 
sent deliverance ; caused my soul to overflow with won- 



MR. JOHX MURLIN. 51 

der and praise for his long-suffering goodness. I sa\v 
nothing was too hard for God ! I could cast myself on 
the Lord Jesus ! All the promises in the Scripture were 
.ull of comfort ; particularly that, " I have known thee 
m the furnace of affliction." The Scriptures were all 
precious to my soul, as the rain to the thirsty land. And 
when Satan assaulted me afresh, I did not stand to rea. 
son with him, but fled to the Lord Jesus for refuge. 
Hereby the snare was soon broken, and I found an in- 
crease of faith, hope, and love. I could now truly say, 
" The Lord is my shepherd, therefore shall I lack nothing. 
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures ; he leadeth 
me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul ; he lead- 
eth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake/' 
It was not my intention ever to write any account of 
these things, had not some of my friends greatly pressed 
me thereto. Nevertheless I put it off from time to time, 
being conscious I had no talent for writing, until my 
peace was well-nigh lost : at last I was prevailed upon 
CO begin. I had not written many lines before I found my 
^oul in perfect peace. I found myself likewise greatly 
issisted to recollect the manifold dealings of God with 
me : so that I have the greatest reason to believe it is his 
will I should make known, even by these instances of his 
goodness, that he is " long-suffering, not willing that smy 
hould perish, but that all should come to repentance." 
vlay he bless the feeble attempt to the good of many ! 
May they learn Avisdom by the things that I have suffer- 
ed ! And be all the glory ascribed unto Him that ^' sit- 
teth on the throne, and unto the Lamb for ever !'' 



MR. JOHN MURLIN, 

Some months ago a sketch of my life was published in 
^he Arminian Magazine. But as the nature of that work 
would not admit of a circumstantial account, I was 
obliged to omit many particulars which may be useful to 
serious readers. This consideration, together with the 
importunity of my friends, has induced me to enlarge 
the subject. 



52 MR. JOHN MURLIN. 

I was born in the parish of St. Stephen, Brenwell, in 
the county of Cornwall, about the beginning of August, 
1722. I was the second son of Richard and Eliza Mur- 
lin. I was sent to school when very young, where I was 
taught to read, and to say my catechism, &c. And, as 
my father feared God, he instructed his children in the 
principles of religion, and caused us to attend the church 
on the Sabbath day. 

As I was their youngest child, they indulged me too 
much. The consequence w^as, self will and passion 
discovered themselves in me very soon. Sometimes I 
disobeyed my parents ; and frequently quarrelled with 
my eldest brother. I also swore and told hes, though 
not so frequently as many children did. But, notwith- 
standing this, even at this early period, I frequently had 
serious thoughts of God and eternity ; but they soon 
wore off for want of more spiritual instruction. 

As my father was a farmer, I was employed in that 
business till I was near thirteen years of age. About this 
time he died ; and I have reason to believe he died in peace. 

I was now desirous of learning the business of a car- 
penter, and accordingly, at Michaelmas, 1735, I was 
bound to one for seven years. My master lived utterly 
without God in the world ; he was much given to swear- 
ing, and taking God's name in vain ; and I too readily 
followed his example. He had a little estate of his own, 
on which I was employed a great part of my time ; and, 
as he did not well understand his business himself, I 
made but little progress therein. 

At Michaelmas, 1742, my apprenticeship ended. I 
then v/ent to work with another master, where I continued 
several years, and made considerable progress both in 
my business and learning: applying myself in the day 
time to my trade, and in the evening to writing and 
accounts. 

But all this time I was an enemy both to God and 
my own soul. Indeed at times I had convictions of sin 
and some concern about my future state ; but being 
surrounded by those who had no thought of God, and 
having no one to direct me, I quickly stifled my convic 
tions and became worse than before. To cursing and 
swearing, I soon added gaming and drunkenness. Lord! 



MR. JOHN MURLIN. 53 

how great is thy mercy in sparing those who live in such 
rebellion against thee ! 

At this time my mother, who lived about seven miles 
off, heard the Methodists, who were instrumental in the 
hand of God in bringing her to the knowledge of the 
truth. After she had " tasted the good word of God, and 
the powers of the world to come," she wrestled with the 
Lord on my account, who in a short time heard and 
answered her in the joy of her heart. 

When I left my place I returned home, and began 
business for myself. I was then delivered from my old 
companions, and by that means freed from many snares 
and temptations, w^hich before I was exposed to. 

February, 1749, I heard the Methodists. The word 
was attended with " the demonstration of the Spirit, and 
with power." By this means I was soon brought under 
a deep conviction. The remembrance of my sins was 
now grievous to me ; and the burden of them was intol- 
erable. My relations were sometimes afraid I should 
lose my reason. I fasted and prayed much, and often 
thought that a burnt crust was too good for such a wretch 
as me. " The arrow^s of the Almighty stuck fast in me, 
and his hand pressed me sore." I frequently kneeled at 
my bed side, and wrestled with God in prayer till near 
midnight : and sometimes I was afraid to lie down in bed 
lest I should awake in hell. At other times I fell on the 
ground, and roared for the very disquietness of my heart. 
Sometimes I was sorely tempted that the day of grace 
was past ; and that though I sought, I should never find 
mercy at the hand of God. I remember one afternoon, 
Satan was permitted to inject blasphemous thoughts into 
my mind to such a degree, that they greatly aflPected 
both my body and mind. I felt something of that dis- 
tress which David mentions in the 116th psalm: " The 
sorrows of death compassed me ; and the pains of hell 
gat hold upon me : I found trouble and sorrow. Then 
called I upon the name of the Lord ; O Lord, I beseech 
thee, deliver my soul !" At other times, when I heard 
the preacher speak of the love of Christ, and of his 
willingness to save poor lost sinners, it fixed my convic- 
tions the deeper to think I should be such a rebel against 
so loving a Saviour ! But, blessed be God ! though my 

5* 



54 MR. JOHN MURLIN* 

convictions were very deep, they did not continife 
long. 

In April, I heard Mr. Downs preach on part of the- 
fifteenth chapter of St. Luke. He told us how wilhng 
the Lord was to receive returning prodigals : under 
this sermon I found great deliverance. My burden 
was taken away. And from that day I never found 
that distress I had felt before. But as yet I was not 
fully satisfied that my sins were forgiven. 

After this I had a calm serenity in my soul, and often 
much peace and joy. But I wanted a clearer manifesta- 
tion of the pardoning love of God. And this he was 
pleased to give me soon after, under the preaching of 
Mr. Richard Trathan, I could then indeed say, " O 
Lord, I will praise thee ! Though thou wast angry with 
me, thine anger is turned away, and thou comfortest me. 
Behold, God is mv salvation : I will trust, and not be 
afraid : for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my 
song ; he also is become mysalvation." And although, 
since then, I have met with sore trials, and sometimes 
have been brought very low, yet I have never lost my 
confidence of the favour of God, and trust I never shalL 

Some time after this, Mr. William Roberts (then the 
travelling preacher on our circuit) told me, " You must 
take care of the little class." I was struck with fear, 
and went out of the room, telling him, " I cannot under- 
take it." But he insisted on it ; and as the people desired 
I should, I at last complied, though with great reluctance ; 
for I thought there were some in the class whose abili- 
ties were far superior to mine. 

I then bought a large Bible, with some other books,, 
and applied myself to prayer, and to reading the Holy 
Scriptures. And it pleased God to open my under- 
standing more and more, to see the wondrous things 
contained in his word. 

About this time I was often beset by some disputa- 
tious Anabaptists, who endeavoured to prove uncon- 
ditional election. I generally stopped them short by 
asking, " Do you believe absolute reprobation ? Do you 
think that the merciful God did, from all eternity, appoint 
the greatest part of the human race to eternal damnation^ 
v/ithout any possibility of being saved % If you believe 



MR. JOHN MURLIX. 55 

that he appointed the end, do you not beheve that he 
also appointed the means to bring them to it : and if sOy 
do you not make him the author of all the sin that ever 
was committed?" On their confessing that they did 
believe this, I told them I could not be of their minds 
for several reasons. 

First, Because it would be unjust to appoint them to 
sin, and then to punish them with everlasting fire for 
fulfilling that appointment. 

Secondly, Because it would impeach God's veracity^ 
who has positively asserted " that he will have all men 
to be saved, and come to the knowledge of the truth:" 
more especially seeing he condescends to confirm this 
truth with an oath, swearing, " As I live, I have no 
pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked 
turn from his way and live." 

Thirdly, Because, if God intended that the greatest 
part of the human race should unavoidably suffer eternal 
torments, he would not have given his only begotten Son 
to die for them ; according to these declarations: "God 
so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, 
that whosoever believeth on him should not perish, 
but have everlasting life. And he is the propitiation 
for our sins ; and not for ours only, but also for the sins 
of the whole world." 

Fourthly, Because, if he had intended to send the 
greatest part of his helpless creatures to hell, without a 
possibility of being saved, he would not have sent his 
Spirit to " convince the world of sin, of righteousness, 
and of a judgment to come :" much less would the 
'' grace of God that bringeth salvation have appeared 
to all men ; teaching them that denying ungodliness and 
worldly lust, they should live soberly, righteously, and 
godly in this present world. Looking for that blessed 
hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God, and 
our Saviour Jesus Christ." When they found that they 
could not prevail, they went away and gave me no 
farther trouble. 

After this I met my class constantly, to whom I some- 
times gave a word of exhortation, and never found 
myself more happy than when among the children of 
God. 



56 MR. JOHN MURLIN. 

There were at this time in the neighbourhood several 
local preachers : but they had more places to preach at 
on a Sabbath day than they could possibly supply. — 
One of them (Thomas Randall) came to me and said, 
" The people are starving for want of bread : and 
can you withhold it from them'? The Lord has put it 
into your hand : but you are not a good steward : other- 
wise you would dispense to all their portion of meat in 
due season." His w^ords made a deep impression on 
my mind : for, before this, I had a conviction that it was 
my duty to call sinners to repentance. And though I 
put him ofFfor the present,yet I could not shake ofi'a con- 
tinual fear, lest I was burying my talent in the earth ; and 
should be condemned at last as an unprofitable servant. 

Some time after, preaching had been appointed at a 
neighbouring place ; and no preacher was at liberty to go. 
Word was sent to me that if I did not go the people 
would be disappointed. I was then in a strait, and knew 
not what to do. I prayed for direction, and then came 
to this resolution : " I will go this once and see whether 
I am enabled to speak to the people or not ; so shall I 
be better satisfied either to speak again, or to be silent." 
Accordingly, I took my horse, and set out with a trem- 
bling heart. When I came to the place there were more 
people than the house would contain : this obliged me to 
preach in the open air: when I stood up it was with much 
fear and trembling. However, I gave out a hymn, and 
went to prayer, wherein I found unexpected liberty. I 
then read. Acts iii, 19, " Repent ye, therefore, and be 
converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the 
times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the 
Lord." The Lord set both my heart and tongue at liberty 
to declare his word. The people heard not only with 
great attention, but showers of tears ran down many 
cheeks. The good impressions then made were not 
only deep, but lasting : for when I was in Cornwall, in 
July, 1777, some well remembered what they had heard 
between twenty and thirty years before. 

After this I laboured constantly as a local preacher ; 
and though my abilities were not large, yet God gave 
me favour in the eyes of the people : and it pleased him to 
make the plain words I spoke a blessing to many souls. 



MR. JOHN MURLIN. , 57 

At this time the world began to smile on me. Living 
with my mother, my board cost me nothing: I got mo- 
ney fast at my business ; and had a rich uncle who 
appeared to have a great regard for me : I had a good 
horse to ride wherever I pleased, and was happy in the 
midst of my Christian friends. I also built me a house 
in the parish of St. Mewan, in order to fix my taber- 
nacle there. 

Just then I received a letter from Mr. Wesley, inquir- 
ing if I was willing to be a travelling preacher ; and if 
I was, desiring me to go into the west of Cornwall. I 
wrote back my objections : 1. That my aged mother de- 
sired I would not leave her : 2. That not only my rela- 
tions, but my Christian friends were unwilling to part 
with me : and, 3. That though I might be of some use 
among my neighbours, yet my abilities were not equal 
to so great a work. Mr. Wesley fully answered all my 
objections. I saw the things of this world were not 
worthy to be compared with the things of God : and 
though my mother desired my company, she was not 
dependent on me; neither could I find any material rea- 
son why I should not travel. So, after a short struggle 
in my mind, I resolved to give up all for Christ: and, 
accordingly, October 12, 1754, I took my horse, and 
without delay went into the west of Cornwall. Here I 
laboured till August, 1755, with much satisfaction; and, 
I hope, the word was a blessing to many. 

When the preachers who were appointed to Cornwall 
the ensuing year came, I left the county, and laboured 
about six weeks in Devonshire. From thence I rode to 
Bristol, where I spent a few weeks very agreeably. 
Then I set ofl' for London, where (through mercy) I safely 
arrived on the 30th of October, 1755. Here I received 
much benefit from the serious, loving conversation of our 
Christian friends : I also found a great blessing in dis- 
pensing the word. But my stay here was very short ; 
for, in about a fortnight, I set off for Norwich: when I 
came within sight of the city, I wept over it, and lifted 
up my heart to God in prayer, that he might bless my 
labours in that place. I believe the Lord heard and 
answered my prayer ; for though we were much perse- 
cuted, he was pleased to bless the word of his grace to 
many souls. 



58 MR. JOHN MURLIN. 

I left Norwich on the 8th of February, 1756, and came 
to London on the 13th. Here I again found a refuge 
from the storm. After spending three months very com- 
fortably in and near London, I set off for Canterbury, 
where I met with a few friends who were Israelites in- 
deed, in whose conversation I found great satisfaction. 

what a blessing it is to be with those who are truly 
devoted to God ! I spent about six weeks here, and at 
Dover, Sandwich, and a few other places, with great 
pleasure and profit to my own soul ; and I hope many 
others were profited by my labours. The 10th of July 

1 returned to London again, where I stayed about three 
weeks ; and on the 2d of August set off for Portsmouth, 
where I arrived safe on the 3d. After spending six days 
here, I crossed over to the Isle of Wight, where I found 
a few disciples at Newport, who had made choice of God 
for their portion : especially three in one house ; one of 
Vvhom had been confined to her bed for some years, but 
happy in God, and waiting for her dissolution. O how^ 
much better it is to dwell in the cottage of Fanny Bevas, 
with Christ, than to dwell in the palace of an Alexander 
or a Nero, w'ithout him ! After spending tw^o nights in 
the island, I returned to Portsmouth; and on the 13th 
took horse early in the morning, and came to London 
the same evening. 

After spending a few days here, Mr. Olivers and I set 
off together for the Bristol conference, where we arrived 
safe on the 21st. At this conference w^e were appointed 
to labour in Ireland ; but were obliged to w^ait till the 
15th of September for a ship ; then we, and three other 
preachers, embarked with Captain Davis, and, after a 
rough passage of four days, landed safely at Robinson's 
Cove. This year I had trials and consolations, and I 
hope some small success in my feeble labours. 

The 19th of July, 1757, I embarked at Dublin, and 
landed at Parkgate on the 20th. After spending a few 
days at Chester, I set ofTfor the conference at London. 
From thence I set off for Whitehaven, where I arrived 
safe on the 31st of August: here the Lord blessed me 
greatly, both in my labours and in my own soul ; many 
sinners were convinced and converted, and the society 
was much increased. Here I met with Benjamin Bigg, 



MR. JOHN MURLIN. 59 

who travelled with me three or four years. He was a 
favourite servant of the old Sir James Lowther, and was 
the only person in the room when his master died. Sir 
William, the next heir to Sir James, left my friend fifty 
pounds a year for life, which he spent in doing good. 

The 20th of April, 1758, 1 embarked, with my compa- 
nion, for Liverpool ; but the captain of the vessel de- 
ceived his passengers, and carried us all to the Isle of 
Man, where we stayed a week. The second evening I 
preached in a large barn ; but on Sunday it would not 
contain the congregation, so I was obliged to preach 
abroad. The people, in general, behaved well, and gave 
great attention. After I left the island, some of them 
sent to Whitehaven, desiring to have another preacher. 
But it was some years before another was sent ; there 
being so little probability of doing any considerable good 
while the whole island was a nest of smugglers. The 
duke of Athol was then king of the island ; but the case 
is now altered : for since it has been purchased of the 
duke, and united to the crown of England, that detestable 
trade is rooted out: a considerable part of the island is 
cultivated ; at one part of it a herring fishery is estab- 
lished ; at another, a large linen manufactory. And now 
w^e see the fruit of our labours there in the conversion, 
of many sinners to God, 

After we had been in the island above a week, we em- 
barked again for Liverpool ; and thence we hastened 
on, and got to Bristol the 9th of August, in time for the 
conference. 

When the conference ended, I laboured in the Wilt- 
shire circuit, with great satisfaction, till January, 1759. 
I then received a letter from Mr. Wesley, who desired 
me to hasten to Norwich, with all speed : for he had 
taken the charge of the late Mr, Wheatley's tabernacle 
and people: and a charge it was indeed ! for many of 
Wheatky's dear lambs were little better than wolves. 
Some who were sincere among them joined with our 
society ; some of them joined with William Cudworth, 
the Antinomian, and some met with one Elcey Good. 
I then clearly saw the dreadful consequences which at- 
tend the doctrine of such preachers : their hearers were 
not converted to God, and their lives were a scandal to 



60 MR. JOHN MTJRLIN. 

the Gospel of Christ. What from outward persecutionSj 
and the irregular lives of professors, I met with many 
trials the three months I stayed there ; yet the Lord 
was my support; and before I left them things ap- 
peared to wear a brighter aspect. Many of the tri- 
flers had left us, and others had joined in their stead : 
and in general we had a serious congregation. 

I stayed at Norwich from the 30th of January till 
the beginning of May, and on the 4th I went to Col- 
chester, where I stayed a few months, and came 
back to London on the 5th of November. This was 
like putting into harbour after a severe storm. But, 
alas ! here we have no continuing city. O that we may 
seek one to come, whose builder and maker is God ! 

December 11th I left London again, and came to 
Canterbury on the 12th, and laboured near three 
months in the Kent circuit, with much satisfaction. 
Just as I was going to leave that city, a widow gen- 
tlewoman of considerable fortune made her case 
known to Mr. Lepine, and told him she would be 
very glad if I would call and take a breakfast with 
her. Mr. Lepine brought the message, and accord- 
ingly I called on her, and we had some conversation 
together on a subject of a very serious nature: and 
though I intended to alter my state, if I could meet 
with a suitable companion, yet, on mature deliberation, 
I found she was not the person with whom I could be 
happy. My chief reason was, a fear that she was not 
devoted to God. 

On the 28th of February, 1760, I returned to London 
again. I found it once more a place of rest : for here 
I had only to preach night and morning, without taking 
charge of the society. Here were also many helps to 
bring us forward in our spiritual journey. Here I could 
live and die : but the Lord's will be done. 

I left London in April, and on the 26th I arrived at 
Bedford. While I stayed here I had a severe fever, 
which I hope was a profitable school : I could say it was 
good for me that I was afflicted. The apothecary poured 
in his drugs ; but I was almost burned up with thirst, and 
wanted a good draught of water, which I could not ob- 
tain, till one night, after most of the family were in bed, I 



MR. JOHN MURLIN. 61 

prevailed with the servant girl to set a bottle by my bed- 
side. I took a hearty draught and fell into a sweat, and 
by the next evening (through mercy) I was able to 
preach. 

On the 28th of May I returned to London again, and 
through a kind Providence got acquainted with Mrs. 
Elizabeth Berrisford, whom I visited several times while 
I stayed in town. And I hope our visits were profitable : 
we seldom parted without prayer. 

In August Mr. Jones, Mr. Hampson, and I set off for 
Bristol. Having been absent from my friends above five 
years, I had a desire to pay them a visit : so after the con- 
ference! went with Mr. Wesley to Cornwall. After I had 
spent a little time at home, I continued to labour in the 
east of Cornwall, with much satisfaction, till Feb , 1761. 

I then received a letter from Mr. Wesley, desiring me 
to hasten away to my old station at Norwich. So I had 
a journey to take between three and four hundred miles 
in the dead of winter. However, I set off and reached 
Norwich the i4th of March. Here I continued till Au- 
gust, and laboured with more satisfaction, and more suc- 
cess, than I had the year before. 

After our conference I went into Sussex, where I met 
with a young clergyman whom God had called out of 
darkness into his marvellous light. But, as there is no 
communion between light and darkness, his rector soon 
differed with him. He then joined the Methodists, and 
since that time has laboured as a faithful servant in his 
Master's vineyard. 

November the 9th I came back to London, and conti- 
nued in town four months. On the 11 th of February, 
1762, (after near two years' acquaintance,) I was mar- 
ried to Mrs. Elizabeth Berrisford. She has proved a faith- 
ful companion, and travelled with me through a great 
part of this kingdom, and has rather been a spur than a 
hinderance to me in the work of the ministry. Lord, re- 
ward her a thousandfold in her own bosom ! 

On the 10th of April we set off in the stage for Bed- 
ford. When we came within a few miles of the place, 
one of the horses dropped down and died in a few mi- 
nutes. How uncertain is life, either in man or beast ! 
While we were in those parts I visited Towcester, Whit- 

6 



62 MR. JOHN MURLIN. 

tlebury, and some other places, and found a blessing 
among those simple, honest-hearted people. 

We returned to London again on the 3d of May, where 
we stayed about six weeks, and then set off once more 
for Norwich, where we arrived safe on the 19th of June. 
Here I generally preached twice, sometimes thrice a day ; 
beside meeting the society, visiting the sick, &c. But, 
Lord, what hast thou done to save sinners ! What hast 
thou done to save me! 

We stayed at Norwich above four months, and return- 
ed to London on the 3d of November. The 19tli we set 
off again to visit our friends in Oxford and Buckingham- 
shire, and the Lord was very gracious to me in this jour- 
ney. On Tuesday, December the 7th, as I was going from 
High-Wicombe to Epstone, I called at a farm house to 
inquire the road ; the mistress who directed me went in 
and told the family there was a Methodist preacher gone 
to Mrs. Clark's. The master of the house, with his son and 
daughter, the man and maid servant, in a short time set 
off to hear the preacher. On the road the master said, 
*'If the man does not speak good sense, I will confound 
him before the people." When they came into the house 
they could not sit together for laughing. I preached on 
Rom. viii, 9, "Now if any man have not the Spirit of 
Christ he is none of his." The Lord was pleased to send 
the word with power to all their hearts. Their laughing 
was turned into mourning, and their joy into heaviness: 
so they returned home with broken and contrite hearts. 
Some time after, when the master was on his deathbed, 
he sent for a preacher to pray with him, and I hope he 
is now in paradise. Afterward Mrs. Clark had preach- 
ing at her house, and I believe it continues there to this 
day. Lord, let them all be found at thy right hand in 
the great day of accounts ! 

On December 15th we returned to London again, 
where we continued till the 5th of March, 17 63. We then 
set off for Canterbury. I was much blessed in my own 
soul the two months I stayed in this circuit: and I hope 
the Lord made his word a blessing to many. On the 1st 
of April, being Good Friday, I preached on John xix, 5, 
" Behold the man !" My heart was melted down with 
love to my Redeemer, who had suffered death upon the 



MR. JOHN MURLIX. 63 

cross for our redemption: I was exceedingly happy in 
my own soul, and I believe many found a remarkable 
blessing that evening. The next night, being Easter-eve, 
I dreamed I saw Christ on the cross, and the Avound of 
the spear in his breast : to which w^ound I saw one fly for 
consolation. I then thought he came down from the 
cross and stood on the ground, with his servant Moses 
on his left hand. I then began to examine myself whe- 
ther I was sincere or not, and thought I could appeal to 
him that it was my desire to do his will. Yet I was con- 
scious that if he w-as to mark iniquity he could find cause 
enough to condemn me. I then thought I went toward 
him weeping, and confessing my sins. As I went for- 
ward, begging for mercy, I thought his merciful eye 
overlooked them all. 

The 4th of May we returned to London, where we 
stayed two months, and then set off for Norwich again, 
and arrived safe the 2d of July. Here I continued in my 
old station till the 31st of October, and the Lord blessed 
my labours with a measure of success. On the 2d of 
November we came to London once more, w^here we 
continued till the 7th of February, 1764. Then we set 
off again, and on Friday, the 10th, came to Salisbury. 
The Lord was very gracious to me in this journey. On 
Sunday, the I2th, I preached in the evening from Hosea 
ii, 16, "Thou shalt call me Ishi !" The Lord blessed the 
word to many : one young man, in particular, was then 
justified, and ever since has been an ornament to his 
profession. 

On Wednesday, the 15th, we arrived safe at Bristol, 
where I laboured with much satisfaction above five 
months. Here the people are established in religion, and 
many of them much devoted to God. Our conference 
this year was in this city, in the beginning of August: 
after which, Mr. Wesley had proposed to visit the socie- 
ties in Devonshire and Cornwall: but, having a sudden 
call to London, he desired me to supply his place. This 
I did wiUingly ; and the more so, as my wife had never 
seen my relations. Accordingly, I set off on Monday, 
the r3th, and preached at Limpsom that night. Tuesday, 
the 14th, I preached at Taunton, and on Wednesday, the 
I5th, at Collumpton. Here I met my old friend, Mr. 



64 MR. JOHN MURLIN. 

William Roberts : what a pity that a man of such emi- 
nent abilities should be confined to so narrow a sphere! 
On Thursday, the 16th, I preached at Exeter. On Fri- 
day, the 17th, we met several of our friends on the road, 
who came from Plymouth Dock, expecting to meet Mr. 
Wesley. They returned with us ; and as soon as I came 
to Dock, I went immediately to the preaching house, 
which was quite full of people j and, though they were 
disappointed in the instrument, our Lord did not disap- 
point us ; for he crowned our assembly with his presence. 
I preached again on Saturday 18th, and twice the next 
day. Here I met with John Trembath, once an eminent 
preacher, and an instrument for good to thousands ; but 
now miserable in his own mind, and, I fear, a slave to sin I 
O, how are the mighty fallen, and the weapons of war 
perished I Shall he, after preaching to others, become a 
castaway himself? Rather let him once more awake, and 
strive to save his own soul with those who have heard him I 

After morning preaching on Monday, the 20th, we set 
off, crossed Saltash Passage, and went on to John Bunt's, 
near Leskard, where we lodged that night. Tuesday, the 
21st, we arrived safe at St. Austle, where we were met 
by my mother and uncle, who were glad to see me, and 
their new relation. After preaching we went home with 
my mother, where I left my wife the next day, and set 
off to supply those places where Mr. Wesley was ex- 
pected. The congregations were very large in most 
places. I rejoiced to see many of my old acquaintances 
still travelling in the road to Zion, and found sweet com- 
munion with God in this journey. 

Wednesday, September 12th, I returned home, and af- 
ter visiting a few societies in the neighbourhood, we took 
our leave of our friends. O that we may all meet on the 
mount of God, where pain and parting shall be no more 1 
Monday, the 17th, we set off for Port Isaac, and after 
visiting the societies on the western coast, we came to 
Bristol on Thursday, the 27th, where we stayed a few- 
days : and on Monday, October 1st, we set off a,2;ain, and 
arrived safe in London on Thursday, the 11 th. We spent 
about three months in town : but this is not our resting 
place I Lord, bring us safe at last where the weary are 
at rest. On Tuesday, January 15th, 1765, we set off for 



MR. JOHN MURLIN. 65 

Leeds, visiting the societies as we went along On Thurs- 
day, 24th, we came to Sheffield, where Mr. Wesley de- 
sired me to stay a few weeks, in order to still the mob, 
if it was possible. I hope my stay here was of use, as 
the persecution was much abated before I went away. 

March 8th, we came to Leeds. I laboured in this cir- 
cuit with much satisfaction for five months. It being a re- 
markably dry summer, the pastures v>^ere almost burnt up, 
and the cattle ready to perish for want. I appointed Fri- 
day, August 2d, for a day of fasting and prayer, by the 
societies of that circuit. We met atfive o'clock in the morn- 
ing, again at eight, at one, and seven in the evening. 
When we came out from prayer at eight o'clock in the 
morning, our gracious Father sent a few gentle drops on 
the earth. At one o'clock we met again, and I expounded 
Deut. xi, 13, and the following verses. When we came 
out we had a gentle shower. After the evening service, 
the heavens grew black with clouds, and when we got up 
the next morning, the earth was greatly refreshed with 
rain, which continued to fall upon it. This proved a bless- 
ing to many souls, when they saw such a remarkable an- 
swer to prayer. Elijah sent his servant seven times before 
the rain came ; but the Lord was pleased to answer us on 
the second time. Whenever I think of that day, my heart 
melts with gratitude to God for his great condescension in 
answering the prayers of his feeble and unworthy children. 

Monday, the 19th, we set off for Manchester confer- 
ence. When it ended we returned to Birstal ; and labour- 
ed very agreeably that year with Mr. Paw^son and Green- 
wood, and the more so, as the Lord blessed our labours. 

This year there was a greater fall of snow in York- 
shire than had been known in the memory of man. It 
began on Tuesday, February the 1 1th, and continued till 
Friday, the 14th. I was confined at Huddersfield all this 
time : when it ceased, I attempted to return to Birstal 3 
but when I came about half way, going up Murfield- 
Moor, I could not find the causeway. The snow was so 
deep that it reached above my knees. The horse could 
not walk ; but was forced to plunge, and was ready to 
fall upon me. I then thought I should be buried in the 
snow. Being quite spent, and seeing a few cottages at a 
distance, I called for help. A man opened his door, and 

6* 



66 MR. JOHN MURLIN. 

]ooked on me awhile, then turned in again, and shut his 
door after him, and left me in that situation. Not being 
able to go on, I continued to call for help ; at last two 
young men came out of another cottage, who knew 
where the causeway lay. One of thv.*^m led my horse, and 
I followed after. I was glad to give them a shilling to 
take me up to the top of the moor. I had two or three 
guides after that, and at last, through a kind providence, 
I got to Gumersal, within one mile of Birstal : but the 
narrow lanes being filled with snow, I could go no far- 
ther. At last I got to Mr. Rhodes' house, who took care 
both of man and beast. When I got up the next morn- 
ing I saw the neighbours carrying home a dead person. 
He was a strong man, and had not walked much above 
half a mile ; and w^as but little above a stone's cast from 
his own house. Good Lord, hitherto thou hast preserved 
me, for wdiich I desire to return thee my unfeigned 
thanks ! 

Tuesday, August the 12tb, we came to the conference 
at Leeds, and fiom thence to London, where we arrived 
safe on Friday the 29th. On Sunday, the 31st, I preach- 
ed in Moorfields to a very large congregation, and the 
Lord was present with us indeed. The latter end of this 
year I spent in and near London. 

Friday, April 3d, 1767, by the desire of the countess 
of Huntingdon, 1 set of!* for Brighthelmstone, where I 
continued three weeks. While I was here, I received a 
letter which gave me an account of my mother's death, 
who died calling upon the Lord. She had known the 
Lord about nineteen or twenty years, and had adorned 
the Gospel from the time of her conversion. As she had 
always been a very kind mother, but more especially so 
ever since she had known the grace of God, I was con- 
cerned for the loss of such a parent ; but, on the other 
hand, when 1 considered that she was gone to her re- 
ward, I found great joy and thankfulness. May her 
children continue to tread in her steps, that we may re- 
joice together before the throne of God to all eternity ! 

On Wednesday, the 29th, we returned to London ; my 
stay was short here ; for, in about a fortnight, we paid 
our friends a visit at Colchester, where we continued 
about six weeks, and then returned to London again.. 



MR. JOHN MURLIN. 67 

On Friday, the 24th, 1 set off in a stage coach for 
Cornwall, to settle some temporal aifairs, which I com- 
pleted, and returned again to the conference. 

From hence I went into the Bristol circuit, where we 
had a remarkable increase of the work of God ; espe- 
cially at Kingswood. I added above a hundred and sixty 
members to that single society ; most of whom found 
peace with God. When God teacheth, there is no delay 
in learning. It w^as astonishing to hear the poor colHers 
in prayer ! They prayed with such simplicity and fer- 
vour as was enough to melt a heart of stone. Children 
also were frequently heard crying to the Lord to convert 
their parents, that they might not go down with gray hairs 
and sorrow to the grave ! and thirteen or fourteen chil- 
dren at the school were enabled to rejoice in God their 
Saviour. But which of these will endure to the end? 

Tuesday, August 16th, 1768, our conference began in 
Bristol. When it was over we set off for London, in 
company with our friends Mr. and Mrs. Green, who 
stopped in town with us above a week. This year I 
laboured in and about London, with much satisfaction to 
my own mind, and I hope with some degree of useful- 
ness to others. 

Friday, February 10th. 1769, after preaching at our 
chapel in West-street, Miss Lee (of Wolverhampton) 
told me that near five years ago she heard me preach at 
Bristol, when the Lord w^as pleased to send the word with 
power to her heart. From that time she never rested till 
she had found peace with God. She said she was then 
spoiled for good company, as the world calls it. Her 
mother and friends at first thought she was going mad ; 
but after awhile her mother became nearly as mad as 
herself; for she also began to cry for mercy, and to 
attend the preaching of the w^ord at every opportunity. 
May they both endure to the end, that they may be 
saved ! 

Wednesday, April 19th, Mr. Charles Greenwood in- 
vited me to a feast, provided for the poor, the maimed, 
the halt, and the blind. After dinner, I sung a hymn, gave 
an exhortation, and went to prayer. The poor seemed 
much affected, and were thankful for food and advice, as 
well as for the money Mr. Greenwood gave them. O 



68 MR. JOHN MURLIN. 

that all who have it in their power would follow his ex- 
ample ! that when the Redeemer shall appear on his great 
white throne, he may say unto them also, I was hungry 
and ye gave me meat; I was thirsty and ye gave me 
drink ; I was naked and ye clothed me : — therefore, come, 
ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared 
for you from the foundation of the world. 

Monday 27th, after preaching at five o'clock in the 
morning at Brentford, one of our friends took me in his 
boat up the river as far as Richmond. As 1 saw the 
fishermen draw their net to shore, who after toiling all 
night had caught nothing, I cried out. Blessed Jesus, give 
me more success as a fisher of men ! Do thou always 
stand on the shore, and direct me to cast the net on 
the right side, that I may enclose a multitude for 
thyself! 

The houses and gardens on each side of the river 
appeared pleasantly situated, and at the top of Rich- 
mond hill we had a very fine prospect. But I observed 
here and there a hatchment hung out, as a token of mor- 
tality ! O cruel death ! cannot the rich, the mighty, the 
honourable inhabitants of these stately mansions forbid 
thy entrance, or escape thy dart ? May I have a build- 
ing of God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the 
heavens ! 

Wednesday, June 7th, I read some of Dr. Lucas' 
sermons on death, judgment, and a future state ; and 
found it profitable to consider myself standing at the 
bar of God, surrounded with dissolving nature ! the 
world flaming ! the trumpets sounding ! armies of angels 
attending ! rocks and mountains falling ! lightnings 
flashing ! thunders rolling ! devils howling ! and the 
Judge sitting on his great white throne ! Lord ! create 
in me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me, 
that I may be fully prepared for that great day ! 

Tuesday, 20th, I preached at the Foundry to a large 
congregation, many of whom appeared to be deeply 
affected : the Lord also blessed my own soul. I preached 
again at five o'clock the next morning ; after which I was 
much afflicted with a pain in my breast, and spitting of 
blood. I believe the cause was preaching constantly 
twice a day, beside meeting the societies and visiting the 



MR. JOHN MURLIN. 69 

sick. In such cases I am often at a loss to know the 
will of God. I would not spare myself, neither would I 
imprudently throw my life away. But if I must err, let 
it be on the safe side ! Whatever 1 suffer, the few days 
I remain on earth, let me not be numbered among the 
slothful servants ! 

Saturday, July 22d, 1769, we set ofH for the north, and 
lodged at Hertford that night. The next day I heard a 
sermon at church ; but I heard not one word either of 
God, or Christ, or death, or judgment, or heaven, or hell. 
If this is the gospel that people hear, what wonder that 
so many of them are without Christ, and without hope, 
and without God in the world ! 

After visiting the societies on the road, w^e came to 
Leeds on Saturday, the 29th. Our conference began 
here Tuesday, August the 1st. The Lord was with us 
of a tiuth, and gave us a remarkable blessing at parting. 

Tuesday, the 8th, we set off for Newcastle-upon-Tyne, 
where, through a kind providence, we arrived safe on 
Thursday, the lOth. After spending a week in town, I 
set ofiior the country circuit. 

Saturday, the 19th, as I w^as going to the preaching 
house in Sunderland, I saw a poor drunkard so much 
intoxicatedthat he could not walk alone ; he had literally 
been walloving like a sow in the mire. He attempted 
to swear, bit could not speak plain : two of his com- 
panions led hm to his own door, and as he was attempt- 
ing to go dowi a pair of stone stairs (for he lived in a 
cellar) he fell,ind fractured his skull : he lay six hours 
after, but nevei spoke another word ; and in this condi- 
tion went to appear before a holy God ! 

Monday, Julythe 2d, we took leave of our friends at 
Newcastle, and v?ited the societies from thence to Lon- 
don, where we ariv^ed safe on Monday^ the 30th. 

Tuesday, Augus^Tth, 1 770, our conference began, and 
continued till Fridar, the 10th, with much harmony and 
love. This year I iiboured in and about London with 
much satisfaction toriyself, and I hope with some de- 
gree of usefulness to thers. 

Wednesday, July :4th, 1771, we left London. I 
preached at Brentford \iat evening, and after visiting the 
societies on the road wt arrived safe at Bristol, where 



\ 



\ 



70 MR. JOHN MURLIN. 

our conference began, Tuesday, August the 6th. This 
year Mr. Pawson and I laboured very comfortably toge- 
ther in the Bristol circuit, and I hope with some success. 

Friday, July 3d, 1772, we left Bristol, and came safe 
to the Leeds conference. From hence we set off for 
Manchester. This year I met with some heavy trials 
not only from the world, but also from my fellow labourer, 
w^hom I was obhged to exclude for improper behaviour. 

At a village called Oldham, about seven miles from 
Manchester, (a place famous through all that country 
for daring and desperate wickedness,) we had heavy 
persecution for a season. As I was going to preach in 
the street one Sabbath day, two constables, with a great 
mob at their heels, took me into custody, for riotous 
behaviour, in singing about two verses of a hymn, as the 
people were coming out of church. They took me to a 
public house, and kept me all night. The constables 
and their assistants were soon special drunk, and began 
to quarrel with each other. From words they soon went 
to blows. The house where we were belonged to the 
clerk of the parish, whose son, thinking me ill used, took 
my part. One of the constables took him by ^he collar, 
on which he WTested the staff out of the drunken con- 
stable's hand, and broke his head with it. 

The next day I was taken before a justice, and bound 
over to the quarter sessions. But I travelled, and had 
it tried at the assizes ; from thence the ctuse was sent 
back to the quarter sessions, where it wa^ given against 
me. While the jury were determining tf find me guilty, 
one of them, a plain simple countryman took an oppor- 
tunity to slip out of court, because (as b said afterward) 
he could not in conscience say that sirging a hymn with 
a peaceable multitude was breeding f riot. 

From the beginning to the end of this aflair my soul 
was kept in peace: and as to my.^ersecutors, I only 
wished that they might be turned frm darkness to light, 
and from the power of Satan untcGod, that they might 
receive forgiveness of sins, and n inheritance among 
them which are sanctified by faiti that is in Christ. 

After I had left those parts I ''as glad to hear that the 
word of God had taken efiect anong the sinners of Old- 
ham : that many of them wcr turned from the evil of 



MR. JOHN MURLIN. 71 

their ways ; that they had found peace with God ; and 
that in a short time they built themselves a chapel, where 
they now peaceably assemble to worship God in spirit 
and truth. I also hear that there is a great reformation 
in other places in that neighbourhood. O Lord ! thus 
let thy kingdom come with power, and prevail against 
the kingdom of darkness in every place. 

Monday, July 19th, 1773, we left Manchester. I 
preached that evening at Macclesfield. The house was 
quite crowded with attentive hearers ; I believe most of 
them were much affected, as they were either mourning 
after, or rejoicing in God. 

Tuesday, the 20th, we came to Ashborn, in the Peak 
of Derbyshire, and not knowing any friends in the town, 
we called at an inn; but I was soon found out and de- 
sired to preach in the street, which I immediately did. on 
Romans viii, 13, to a very attentive congregation. The 
landlady of the inn behaved remarkably civil : we then 
set off, and I preached that evening at Derby. 

Wednesday, the 2 1st, I preached at Loughborough, and 
on Thursday, the 22d. at five o'clock in the morning. At 
noon I preached at Mountsorrel, and in the evening at 
Leicester. I bless God I had a present reward in preach- 
ing ; my own soul was abundantly refreshed while I was 
speaking to others. The three following days I spent 
comfortably with the little society at Northampton, and 
on Tuesday, the 27th, came to London. This year I 
laboured in London with Mr. Bumstead and Mr. Atlay. 
But though! was comfortably situated, in many respects, 
I was not without various trials. Indeed, I have always 
found that sweets and bitters, comforts and trials, when 
blended together by the hand of a wise and gracious God, 
have not only been best for me, but absolutely necessary 
in this world of danger. And so I found it this year. 
For I hope I can say all things worked together for good 
to my own soul ; and that, so far from hindering, they 
rather promoted my usefulness among the people. And 
thus I have found it ever since. Therefore, O Lord, not 
as I will, but as thou wilt! Thou knowest what is best 
for me at all times and under all circumstances. Make 
me then the object of thy constant care, so shall I be safe 
from danger while on earth, and praise thee to all eternity. 



72 MR. JOHN MURLIN. 

The two following years I laboured in the Bristol 
circuit, where the Lord was pleased to bless me both in 
my labours and in my own soul ; but yet not with that 
degree of success which he was pleased to bestow on 
me in the year 1767. 

Sunday, December the 1 8th, I was desired to preach a 
funeral sermon for Mrs. Hall, late wife of Mr. John Hall, 
of Bedminster, by whom she had several children. She 
was a tender mother, a loving and obedient wife, one who 
constantly attended on the means of grace, and adorned 
her profession in her life and conversation. 

As she was one day in the market, she was instantly 
deprived of her speech and of the use of her limbs. She 
was carried into her brother's house, where she was visit- 
ed by several of her friends. After awhile her speech was 
restored, so that she was able to declare the goodness 
of God. She would not speak about the things of this 
world ; but told us she was happy in the Redeemer's 
love. She lay a few days, and then returned in triumph 
to God. 

Though she was very comely in her lifetime, yet she 
appeared far more so after her death. When the spirit 
took its flight, it left the heavenly stamp on her face. 
Her brother (Mr. William Wait) was so much affected 
with the sight, that he could scarcely look on her. She 
brought to my mind that verse in one of our funeral 
hymns : — 

" Ah, lovely appearance of death! 

No sight upon earth is so fair; 
Not all the gay pageants that breathe 

Can with a dead body compare : 
With solemn delight I survey 

The corpse when the spirit is fled, 
In love with the beautiful clay, 

And longing to lie in its stead." 

I preached her funeral sermon the next Sabbath day. 
The house was quite crowded with attentive hearers, and 
our Lord crowned the assembly with his presence ; we 
shared in the joy of our departed friend, and had an 
anticipation of the celestial banquet. 

Some time after this we began to preach at the Lime- 
kilns, near Bristol. We went there every Thursday 
night. By this means several were convinced of sin and 



MR. JOHN MURLIN. 73 

converted to God. I joined about twenty of them in 
society in one night. They were quite in earnest while 
I continued in those parts, and I am informed continue 
the same to this day. Lord, help them to endure to the 
end, that we may all rejoice at thy right hand, when 
thou comest in the clouds of heaven. 

This year another friend of mine (Mrs. Elizabeth Rose) 
died. She was a sensible woman, and had adorned the 
Gospel for many years. I visited her in her last illness. 
And as nothing had passed through her for several days, 
she felt the most excruciating pain. She was never 
heard to murmur ; but was quite resigned to the will of 
God. When I saw her she brought to my mind a say- 
ing of Seneca: "That a philosopher contending with, 
and getting above, the misery of human life, was a sight 
fit to invite the gods to be spectators." And may we 
not say that God and angels look down with great satis- 
faction on a Christian triumphing over pain and the fear 
of death ? Even so died this gracious w^oman, after eight 
or ten days' illness, and is now added to the number of 
those who praise God and the Lamb for evermore. 

This year also Abraham Peacock, of Kingswood, 
died. And, as I have reason to believe that I was instru- 
mental in his conversion, and had him under my care 
at the time of his death ; it may not be judged improper 
to subjoin a brief account of him in this place. 

About thirty years ago, being a collier, he and seve- 
ral others were shut up in a pit, by the water of an old 
mine breaking in upon them. The whole country being 
alarmed, abundance of men set to work and drew out 
the water. The prisoners were confined eleven days 
before they were delivered, in which they ate their can- 
dles, chewed their shoe leather, and drank water; which, 
by a kind providence, preserved their lives. But all 
this had no good effect on Abraham ; for he still con- 
tinued a most vile and abandoned profligate. 

Some time after this he entered on board a ship bound 
for Jamaica. The ship was cast away, and he and se- 
veral of the crew escaped to a rock, where they were 
confined six days. Then, through a kind providence, 
an English vessel came by and took them in, and brought 
them home to England. Abraham then went to his old 

7 



74 MR. JOHN MURIIN, 

employment ; but continued a rebel against God. About 
seven years ago, when we had that glorious revival in 
Kingswood, he was told how happy the people were 
who met together to pray, and sing praises to God. — - 
" Why, then," said Abraham, ^' I will go and hear them." 
When he came, the word reached his stubborn heart, 
and he was brought into deep convictions. But one 
night, when he was in bed, the Lord removed his load 
and set his soul at liberty. He arose and came away 
to the school about midnight, and called Mr. Hindmarsh, 
He then told him, " I believe I am going to die, for the 
Lord has forgiven all my sins." After this he had a very 
poor state of health, and was not able to work. By this 
means he soon became so exceeding low in his circum- 
stances that he had neither bread to eat nor a bed to lie 
upon. I mentioned his case to a few friends in Bristol, 
and among us we procured him a bed and other neces- 
saries. For seven years he continued a great monu- 
ment both of sufferings and of patience, and then died in 
peace. O the riches, both of the wisdom and goodness 
of God ! How abundantly were they displayed in the 
case of this poor man, who had spent between fifty and 
sixty years m a regular course of daring wickedness ; 
and that God should not only preserve him amid it all, 
but at last convert his soul, provide for his body, and 
then take him to himself, to behold his face in righteous- 
ness, and to praise him to all eternity ! 

The two years I stayed in and about Bristol I had full 
employment. For, beside riding often ten, twelve, fif- 
teen, or twenty miles a day, through all weathers, I had 
to preach twice a day frequently, and sometimes thrice, 
beside meeting the societies in various ways, visiting the 
sick, &c., which I found to be very wearisome to tlesh 
and blood. But when I considered what a charge I had, 
having near fifteen hundred soiils put under my care, 
exclusive of all the thousands who heard me continually; 
more especially when I considered that each of these 
souls was of more value than ten thousand worlds ; all 
within me cried out, Who is sufficient for these things ? 
And I could scarce refrain from saying, with him of old. 
Lord, send by whom thou wilt send, only send not by 
me ! And I hope I shall never lose sight of the great- 



MR. JOHN MURLIN. 75 

mess of this undertaking, or the awfulness of the charge 
-committed unto me: but, rather, that I shall see and 
feel more and more of its great and tremendous import- 
ance every day of my life: that I maybe more serious 
and humble more upright and earnest before Him who 
hath called me to this work, and before whom I shall 
shortly stand to give an account of my stewardship. 

Friday, July 19th, 1776, we left Bristol, and spent 
about a week with our friends in Bath. Here we never 
had much, if any, prospect of doing any great good till 
very lately. This year I added several new members, 
and many others found peace and joy in the Holy Ghost. 
When we left Bath we called on a few societies in our 
w^ay, and came to London on Monday, the 29th. This 
year I laboured in much peace with Mr. Hindmarsh and 
Mr. Pilmoor. When we are free from outward trouble, 
there is danger lest we should fall into a lukewarm state. 
If we desire to live holy and happy we should keep God 
and eternity always in view, 

Wednesday, June 4th, 1777, w^e left London, and went 
into the west of England. Providence was very kind to 
us in this journey. As we were going off Salisbury 
Plain, I got out of the chaise to walk down a very steep 
hill ; when we came to the bottom, as I was going in 
again, between my wife and me we dropped the reins, 
which hung on the horse's heels ; this made him set off 
in a full gallop, which he continued for near a mile, 
with both of us in the chaise. He then turned off the 
road through a narrow gateway, leading to an inn, as if 
guided in every step by an invisible hand. The inn yard 
was very narrow, that he could neither turn to the right 
nor the left, and the stable fronting, he was obliged to 
stop. O God ! surely thou didst then give thine angels 
charge to watch over thy poor servants w^ho put their 
trust in thee. After we had breakfasted here, we set off 
again and went on through the societies to Cornwall, 
where I spent about five weeks with great satisfaction. 
In many places the congregations were so large that I 
was obliged to preach abroad. I found my soul was 
much blessed. I rejoiced to see many of my old ac- 
quaintance and countr3^men walking in the way to 
heaven- 



76 MR. JOHN MURLIN. 

Friday, July 18th, we left Cornwall, and came safe 
to Bristol on Tuesday, the 29th. After our conference 
ended, we set off for the Chester circuit, where we arrived 
safe on Monday, August I8th. This is a trying cir- 
cuit to flesh and blood ; our journeys are very long, and 
in many places the congregations very small ; yet it 
pleased God to bless our labours and increase our number. 

Friday, January 16th, 1778, I came to Whit-Church ; 
but my cough and hoarseness were such that it was with 
difficulty I could speak so as to be understood. I de- 
sired Mr. Brown to supply my place a few^ days, while 
I rested at Mr. Sim's, at Alperham. But, as I was not 
willing to be idle, I wrote two hymns, one for the morn- 
ing, and another for the evening. Since that time I have 
wrote about sixty more. I find this to be both a pleas- 
ing and profitable exercise ; it keeps the mind quite en- 
gaged on the subject, and lifted up to God in prayer for 
assistance. 

Thursday, July 23d, we left Chester, and I preach- 
ed that evening at Norwich. Sunday, the 26th, I preached 
at Manchester in the morning, and the Lord was pre- 
sent to bless us. In the afternoon I preached at Oldham. 
But O what an alteration is here ! The last time I was 
in this place I was kept a prisoner in a public house, 
among drunkards, swearers, and fighters ; but now, a& 
soon as I entered their new chapel, they sung a hymn 
of praise to God on my account. 

From hence I went to Leeds, where our conference 
began Tuesday the 4th. I laboured this year in the 
Bradforth circuit, with Mr. Hopper and Mr. Johnson,, 
two of our old preachers, who have adorned the Gospel, 
and been useful labourers in our Lord's vineyard for 
many years. We had some increase in our circuit this 
year, and some found peace with God. But I find Sa- 
tan is very busy in every place. At Halifax he caused 
a division in the society about an angel with a trumpet 
in his hand, which one party would have fixed on the 
top of the sounding board over the pulpit, but the other 
would not consent to it. And so warm were they on 
each side, that the preachers could not reconcile them : 
so the affair was left to the decision of Mr. Wesley. — 
When he came he gave judgment against the angel ; and. 



Mia. JOHN MtJRLlN. 77 

to put an end to all future strife, Mr. Joseph Bradford 
made a burnt-sacrifice of it on the altar of peace. Is it 
not strange that men of common sense, and who profess 
an uncommon degree of religion, should contend so 
warmly about such trifles as these ? 

Saturday, July 3d, 1779, we left Halifax, and came 
to Bradforth. I continued here, and in the neighbour- 
hood, about a week, taking leave of our friends in hopes 
to meet again where pain and parting shall be no more. 

We then came on through the societies to London, 
the place of my present destination ; where I labour in 
connection with a number of my brethren whom I highly 
esteem. I believe we love as brethren, and that our 
labour is not altogether in vain in the Lord. 

Upon the whole, when I look back on the many years 
I have now spent in testifying the grace of God, though 
I have not made that advancement in the way which I 
might have done, yet I can say, to his glory, he has so 
kept me, that none can lay any thing to my charge with 
regard to my moral conduct, since God first spoke peace 
to my soul, in April, 1749. 

I am clearly convinced that God has called me to 
preach his everlasting Gospel. And the more so, be- 
cause it has pleased him by his Spirit to confirm the 
w^ord of his messenger. Indeed I am fully persuaded 
that he does confirm the word of all whom he hath sent, 
by using them in turning sinners from darkness to light, 
and from the power of Satan unto God. 

And I believe that Christ is able to save unto the ut- 
termost all those that come unto God through him. I 
cannot credit those who are continually telling the peo- 
ple that the Canaanite must dwell in the land to humble 
them : that is, Belial must be a partner with Christ in 
this work ; as though Christ was not sufficient to hum- 
ble the souls of God^s children, without calling in sin 
and Satan to his assistance. " Learn of me," saith the 
Redeemer, " for I am meek and lowly of heart ; and ye 
shall find rest unto your souls." 

I bless God, I can say to his glory, 1 do find constant 
communion with him. And I pay no regard to those 
who tell us, "You must come down from the mount: 
«nd you must not mind your frames and feelings," No ! 

7* 



78 MR. JOHN MURLIN. 

If I have the peace of God, do I not feel it? If I do^ 
not feel it, I have it not. And if I do not feel joy in the 
Holy Ghost, it does not exist. And shall I not feel it 
more and more ? I trust I shall, if I go on from faith 
to faith : if I daily grow in grace, and in the knowledge 
of om' Lord Jesus Christ. 

I bless God my heart is engaged in his work ; and 
there is nothing gives me greater satisfaction than to 
hear of the prosperity of Zion. Yet how much longer 
I shall be able to travel I cannot tell, as I have a settled 
rheumatism in my knee and thigh, and am far past the 
meridian of life. But in all circumstances I have chosen 
God for my portion, and the lot of my inheritance for 
ever. He hath been my helper hitherto 5 and I trust he 
will, help me to the end. O Lord I forsake me not in 
my old age. Lay thine everlasting arms beneath me ; 
and give me a safe and comfortable passage through the 
valley of the shadow of death : and then bring me to 
thy holy hill, to praise thy name for ever 1 

To conclude : I cannot better express my present 
state and future prospect, than in the two following 
stanzas of Mr, OUver's beautiful hymn to the God of 
Abraham : — 

ThoTigh nature^s strength decay, 
And earth and hell withstand, 
To Canaan's bounds I urge my way. 
At his command : 
, The wat'ry deep I pass, 

With Jesus in my view^ 
And through the howling wilderness 
My way pursue. 

The goodly land I see^ 
With peace and plenty blest ; 
A land of sacred liberty, 
And endless rest : 
There milk and honey flow, 
And oil and wine abound ; 
And trees of life for ever grow,. 
With mercy crown'd. 



MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 79 

r 

MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 



TO THE REV. JOHN WESLEY, 

Coin, May 20, 1780. 

Rev. and Dear Sir,— I never had the least desire or 
design to trouble others with my insignificant hfe. And 
I know how difficult it is for a man to speak of himself i 
but as you desire it, I will do as well as I can. 

I kept a diary the first year after I set out from New- 
castle-upon-Tyne, for Ireland. At my return I took a 
fever at Newlands. After my recovery I looked over 
my journal with a view to go on ; but I saw so many 
blunders amd imperfections therein, that I immediately 
committed it to the fire. Since that time I have kept no 
regular account of my little labours 5 therefore I am 
under a great disadvantage in giving any tolerable ac- 
count of them. 

I have looked over my manuscripts, and have found 
a few memoranda, which have assisted me a little. 
Many other things I have committed to memory, which 
never have, and I hope never will be erased. 

As I have had the pleasure of travelling with you 
many hundred miles, in England, Scotland, and Ireland, 
these last five and thirty years, I have been much helped 
by reading over your journals, to trace out my crooked 
path. By these few assistances I have endeavoured to 
give some account of my nativity, childhood, and call- 
ings ; the various dealings of God with me from my 
youth up to my conversion ; my call to preach the Gos- 
pel, and the opposition and success I met with when I 
first set out. 

But I have given very little account of any of my la- 
bours, trials, comforts, or success, these last eight and 
twenty years. I apprehend these would swell too large 
for your present purpose : I will therefore leave them to 
that great day, when the righteous Judge will reward 
every man according to his works. 

May the Lord succeed your labours, give you peace 



80 MR» CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 

in the way, a joyful exit, and then a crown of glory .--» 
Pray for me, who am, reverend and dear sir, your un- 
worthy son in the Gospel of Christ, 

Christopher Hopper. 



I was born at Low-Coalburne, in the parish of Ryton, 
in the county of Durham, on the 25th of Decemberj 
1722. Moses Hopper, my father, was a farmer: my 
mother, whose name was Ann, was daughter to George 
Barkiss, farmer, in the same county. They were both 
of good repute, and much attached to the Church of 
England, but strangers to vital religion. 

My mother had nine children, six sons and three 
daughters, of whom I was the youngest. When I was 
about five years old I was sent to school to one Mr. 
Alderson, a man of piety and good understanding, who 
taught those under his care, not only the branches of 
learning he professed, but the fear of God and the first 
principles of religion. He catechized us twice every 
week, and made us attend the Church every Lord's day, 
and all holy days appointed for public service. After I 
had learned to read, write, and understand a little of the 
mathematics, I lost my beloved master, who made a 
most awful exit. He had been^ as I thought, m.ore de- 
vout one week than common. The Sabbath following 
he received the sacrament at Ryton church : some days 
after a few gentlemen with fair words persuaded him to 
play a civil game of cards ; but afterward he fell into 
great distress of mind, and could not properly attend his 
school, which was often left to the care of his eldest son 
and me. The spring following, after many sore conflicts, 
he sunk into deep despair, and then drowned himself. 

This melancholy event made my heart tremble, and 
Was a means of bringing some serious thoughts into my 
mind, about heaven, hell, death, and judgment. I began 
to distmguish between vice and virtue, the godly and 
ungodly men. These impressions remained till I took 
a severe illness, which continued near two years, and 
deduced me to a mere skeleton. Mr. Foster, who at- 
tended me, pronounced me incurable. 

This alarmed me, and filled my heart with slavish 



MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 81 

fear. I judged it was high time to prepare for a future 
state ; and according to the light I had, began the busi- 
ness without delay. I read my Bible with much pleasure, 
prayer, and attention. The more I read it, the more I. 
loved it. Many verses, and some favourite chapters 
which I understood best, made such a deep impression 
upon me that I soon had them by heart. The Practice 
of Piety, a form of prayers, and a psalm book, were my 
library. I prayed and sung with fear and some degree 
of joy. I had very slight notions of my depraved nature 
and the sin of unbelief ; but clear views of my actual 
transgressions. I had been addicted to swear when I 
was put out of humour; and to lie when I could gain 
any thing by it, or cover or excuse a fault. I had been 
apt to pilfer among the children, when I could do it 
with a good grace. 

I was very proud, and prone to anger ; yea, of a cruel 
disposition. I took a diaboHcal pleasure in hanging 
dogs, worrying cats, and kiUing birds and insects, man- 
gling and cutting them to pieces. One instance of my 
inhumanity I perfectly remember to this day. One 
evening as I was returning from school with some of 
my friendly associates, we found a great number of frogs 
collected together in a marshy place ; we proclaimed 
war against them ; we armed ourselves with stones, and 
with all the fury of little fiends, murdered the poor, 
innocent, defenceless creatures. We then left the field 
in great triumph. But God soon requited me. That 
night I dreamed I fell into a deep place full of frogs, 
and they seized on me from head to foot, and began to 
eat the flesh off my bones. I was in great terror, and 
found exquisite pain until I awoke, sweating and trem- 
bling, and half dead with fear. 

About this time my dear father died of a consumption ; 
I hope a true penitent. He was interred at Ryton church, 
with great solemnity, among his ancestors. I was then 
left to the care of my indulgent mother and brethren. — 
Soon after my father's death my eldest brother married, 
and they divided my father's farm, and the goods and 
chattels he left, among them ; but I was neglected and 
overlooked, like one that did not belong to the family ; 
but this did not give me the least concern. My disorder 



82 MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 

still continued with my convictions. I prayed, wept, 
and looked toward the hill of Sion. I found comfort 
and a good hope through grace. I waited every day for 
my final dissolution, and longed to be with Christ. I 
loved God, the Redeemer, and all m ankind. I was happy. 
After some time it pleased God to restore me to perfect 
health, beyond all human expectation. After my re- 
covery, my mind was quickly drawn after the world 
again. I saw transitory objects in another point of view 
than I had done during the time of my illness. My love 
to God and religion, and my desire after another world, 
soon grew very cold. I quenched the Holy Spirit, who 
departed and left me again to the folly of my own heart. 

As I was the youngest child of the family, and had 
nothing left me, I judged it would be proper to think of 
some business to procure bread. And my mother and 
brother being willing to put me to a grammar school, and 
give me a good education, I accepted the offer, and con- 
cluded it was the best thing I could do : but in the interim, 
one Mr. Armstrong, a shopkeeper, wanted a boy and 
sent for me. I embraced the opportunity, and prepared 
to go without delay. I thought I should escape the 
wearisome task of study, having nothing to do but to 
improve the learning I had already, to qualify me for a 
merchant's apprentice. My mother accompanied me to 
Mr. Armstrong's, and put me in possession of my new 
place. I went with great pleasure ; and met a kind 
reception. After I had been some time on trial, I was 
to be bound by indenture for seven years. This put my 
youthful mind into a new chain of reasoning. I thought 
I would never be bound to stand so long behind a coun- 
ter ; therefore, in spite of all persuasion, I left my place 
and returned home. 

After this a project entered into my head that I would 
be a musician. I told my brother. He approved of it, 
bought me a violin, and provided me a master. I began 
with great assiduity, and concluded I had found the very 
thing that would make me happy. I played away all 
my convictions, lost my taste for spiritual things, and 
banished all thoughts of a future world. I now employed 
myself in doing some little things in the house and about 
the farm ; and all the time I had to spare, I spent in 



MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 83 

playing, singing, dancing, fishing, fowling, and whatever 
came next to my hand. I was then between fifteen and 
sixteen years of age, and began to think of some em- 
ployment whereby I might have money to support my 
foolish desires. My brother kept wagon horses. When 
the wagon ways w^ere first framed between the new 
coal mines and the river Tyne, the farmers were under 
an obligation to their landlords to employ a certain 
number of horses for that purpose. I was a strong 
active young man, and thought I could manage a wagon 
very well. My brother was willing I should make the 
trial, and gave me a proper horse for that service. I 
soon made a great proficiency in this dirty, slavish, and 
dangerous occupation. And I w^as hugely pleased with 
my nev7 department. Novelty pleases, whether the 
man sits on a throne or a dunghill. I frequently boast- 
ed of my strength, agility, and skill in this sphere of ac- 
tion, and thought I was arrived at the summit of my 
preferment : I found it a singular pleasure in whatever 
company I was, to talk of feeding and guiding wagon 
horses, of w^agons and wagon ways, the nature and 
value of coals ; and concluded I only wanted a little 
money to make me a fitter, or a London crimp. My 
vain mind was as much taken up with those things as 
the mathematicians with their abstruse science, or the 
philosophers with the w^onders of nature. I followed 
this business and the various branches of agriculture 
for about five years. During this period of my life I 
was given up to folly. I greedily pursued, according 
to my ability, all the pleasures of the w^orld. I spent 
nights and days together, in hunting, cock-fighting, card- 
playing, horse races, or whatever the devil brought to 
town or country. And O, grief of heart ! gentlemen, 
clergymen, mechanics, and peasants made up the crowd! 
But in the enjoyment of these poor toys I had many 
severe checks, and sorrowful moments. The universe 
appeared as a vault wherein true comfort was entomb- 
ed ; and the sun himself as a lamp to show the gloomy 
horrors of a guilty mind. I often said in my cool inter- 
vals, Hath the great God of love provided no better 
things than these for his reasonable creatures 1 Now 
at this time I was my own master, and lived without 



84 MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 

control. I followed my former pleasures, but with a 
trembling hand. I found Satan's service perfect drudg- 
ery, and all earthly objects empty and vain. 

In this dull, melancholy round, I dragged on for some 
time, without any real comfort or solid satisfaction. I 
was not happy, yet I believed there was something 
which could make me so, but I knew not what it was, 
or where to find it. Sometimes I reflected on what I 
felt in my affliction w^hen I was a youth ; but it appeared 
as a dream. I was frequently in great and imminent 
danger. But through the interposition of a kind, uner- 
ring providence, I escaped ten thousand snares and 
deaths, by night and day, at home and abroad. One 
evening in particular, two of my companions and I were 
riding home in a wagon very jovially, and as we were 
passing over a very high battery, the horse started sud- 
denly to one side, and snatched the w^agon from the 
planks : immediately it overset, and turned over and 
over, to the bottom of the hill. The trembling specta- 
tors who beheld this awful event concluded with shrieks 
and cries, " They are all killed ; their bones are broken 
in a thousand pieces." But to their great astonishment, 
and to our unspeakable comfort, we were very little hurt. 

After I had recovered my reason, and found I was 
alive, and out of hell, my stubborn heart yielded to my 
almighty Deliverer. I feared his great name, wept for 
joy, and was overwhelmed with grief for my folly. This 
deliverance wrought a deep conviction in my heart. The 
true light shined on my dark soul, and God laid me in 
the dust. I only wanted a spiritual guide to show me 
the way ; but, alas ! I could not find him in the country. 

In May, 1742, we heard a strange report of one Wesley, 
a Church clergyman, that had been at Newcastle-upon- 
Tyne, and had preached in Sandgateto many thousands 
who heard him with astonishment. This new thing made 
a huge noise. The populace entertained various conjec- 
tures about him ; but few, if any, could tell the motive on 
which he came, or the end he had in view. He made a 
short blaze, soon disappeared, and left us in great con- 
sternation. Some time after, his brother Charles came 
and preached at Tanfield-Cross. I ran with the multitude 
to hear this strange preacher. When I saw a man in a 



MR. CHRISTOPHER HOrPER. 85 

clergyman's habit, preaching at a pubUc cross to a large 
auditory, some gaping, some laughing, and some weep- 
ing, I wondered what this could mean. When he had 
concluded, some said. He is a good man, and sent to re- 
form our land : others said, Nay : he is come to pervert 
and deceive us, and we ought to stone him out of our 
coasts. I said, If he is a good man, good will be done, 
and it is plain we want a reformation ; but if he is an 
impostor, he can only leave us as he found us, that is, 
without hope and without God in the world. I cannot 
tell what induced me to go so far, but I found I was in 
danger of being called a Methodist, and was glad to 
dismiss the conversation with a smile, and a piece of 
drollery. 

In November, Mr. Wesley returned to Newcastle, 
formed a religious society, and laid the foundation of the 
Orphan house. At the same time he visited Tanfield, 
Leigh, Wickham, Swalwell, and Horseley. His name 
Avas then well known in town and country. 

All mouths were filled with Wesley and his followers : 
some for, and many against them. I knew very little of 
the matter, but thought it was most prudent to join the 
general voice against this new way. 

The spring following, 1743, John Brown, a plain 
farmer, removed from Tanfield-Leigh to the Low-Spenn, 
and invited Mr. Wesley to his house. I then heard 
occasionally those preachers who I thought could tell 
their story well, without stammering : but still found 
much fault with this strange method of proceeding. At 
this time there was a great clamour about rehgion, 
among all sects and parties, and I made a bustle among 
the rest. I said, I will read my Bible, say my prayers, 
go to my own parish church, reform my life, and be 
good and pious without the scandal of the cross. Alas ! 
I did not consider, '' No cross, no crown." 

I hobbled on in this lame, ignorant manner, till at last I 
became deeply serious. I saw there was more in rehgion 
than I enjoyed or understood. I saw that God had been 
striving with me from my infant days. I looked back 
with astonishment on his loud calls, compassionate helps, 
tender mercies, and great deliverances. He had raised 
me from the gates of death when all human help failed, 

8 



86 MR. CHRISTOPHER HOFPER. 

He had saved me from perils and dangers by night and 
by day. He had richly provided for me, when I wa& 
left to myself very young. A sight of these favours 
raised in my cold heart some sensations of gratitude to 
my bountiful Benefactor. I said in my heart. Shall I 
still trifle with the almighty God of heaven and earth '^ 
Sh^ll I fly in the face of my infinite Creator 1 Shall I 
play with eternal things? Will God always strive with 
the children of men? My few days are passing away 
like a shadow ; pale death is approaching ; the Judge is 
standing at the door ; eternity, eternity, is come ! Alas I 
I am not ready. I am in my sins — unholy, unhappy^ 
and therefore not prepared to die. 

I will now^ cry to God for mercy. He w^illeth not the 
death of a sinner. It is his pleasure to save me from sin 
and the punishment due to it. He waits to be gracious, 
that his great name may be exalted. " He is good to all, 
and his mercy is over all his works." I am a monument 
of his sparing goodness, I will therefore look up and hope 
in his word. Behold, this is the accepted time, behold, 
this is the day of salvation. God hath sent his servants 
to show poor sinners the way of life. I was then deter- 
mined to hear and judge for myself. God had now 
prepared my heart for the reception of the truth. I said, 
I will no longer be led by the laughing multitude, nor be 
deluded with the noise of vain tongues. 

The Sabbath day following, Mr. Reeves preached at 
the Low-Spenn, at one o'clock in the afternoon. I heard 
him with great attention, but found a veil on my heart. 
I did not clearly see God's method of justifying a guilty 
sinner, through faith in the blood of his Son. 

In the evening he preached again on these words, 
** And now abideth faith, hope, and love, these three, 
but the greatest of these is love." In his plain, pathetic 
manner, he gave us a definition of these principal graces, 
with their inseparable concomitants, and showed the un- 
speakable happiness of all those who had a saving /ai^/i, 
a good hope, and the love of God. The w^ord came home 
to my heart with energy. The veil was removed. The 
true light shined upon me, and I said, Alas, I am undone I 
If these things are true, and doubtless they are, I have 
only the faith of a devil, the hope of a hypocrite, and the 



MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 87 

love of this present evil world. My mouth was stopped, 
i stood guilty before God. My stout heart melted like 
wax before the fire. I trembled at the word. My 
strength left me. God frowned ; his law condemned ; 
conscience roared ; Satan raged ; and the pit was ready 
to receive me. 

I quietly retired from the crowd into a little parlour to 
cover my shame. I sat down on the side of a bed, and 
reclined my guilty head on the pillow, in great distress 
of mind. It was the cry of my heart, God be merciful 
to me a sinner ! Save, Lord, or J. perish! Save or I am 
lost, for ever lost ! My all is guilt, pollution, misery, and 
helplessness. In this wretched situation I continued some 
time, shut up in unbelief as in a prison. I could only 
say, Lord^ help me i He then heard my cry and sent me 
reUef. A glorious light shone into my heart, and dis- 
covered to me the blessed plan of man's redemption 
through the blood of a crucified Saviour. I saw God 
had fulfilled his great original promise. He sent his Son 
to save sinners, the chief of sinners. He lived, suffered, 
and died for a lost world. " He tasted death for every 
man. He gave himself a ransom for all." I said in my 
trouble. The good Shepherd came from heaven to earth 
to " seek and save that which was lost, to bring again 
that which was driven away, to bind up that which was 
broken, and to strengthen that which was sick." But I am 
lost, I am driven to the mouth of hell, ready to drop into 
the fiames ; I am broken to pieces ; I am sick of sin, 
sick of myself, and sick of a vain world : I will therefore 
look unto the Lord ; my God will hear me. He hath died 
for me. I shall, yea, doubtless, I shall obtain mercy after 
all I have done. The God of truth hath promised mercy; 
the Son of his love hath procured mercy ; the Spirit of 
truth is ready to reveal mercy ; and the messengers of 
peace are come to proclaim mercy., free mercy .^ to every 
perishing sinner, through the blood of the everlasting 
covenant ! I said, 1 can, I %vill^ I do believe in the only 
true God, and in Jesus Christ whom he hath sent. I am 
freely justified. I am saved through faith in the blood of 
the Lamb. God is now my God in Christ. The love of 
God is shed abroad in my heart by the Holy Ghost given 
unto me. The spirit of bondage is gone. The Spirit of 



88 MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 

adoption is come. I can now cry, Abba Father. The 
same Spirit beareth witness with my spirit that I am a 
child of God. No enmity — no wrath — no curse — no 
condemnation — the ruined sinner is saved. I then found 
a glorious and undeniable change. God, Christ, angels, 
men, heaven, earth, and the whole creation appeared ta 
me in a new light, and stood related tome in a manner 
I never knew before. I found love to my God, to his- 
yoke, to his cross, and to his saints, to his friends and 
enemies. I said. This is Bible religion, scriptural 
Christianity, let men call it what they please ; a delusion, 
enthusiasm, Methodism, or Mohammedism, that is no- 
thing to me ; hard names do not change the nature of 
the thing. I then w^ent on my way rejoicing ; a wonder 
to my father's family; to all that knew me ; and to my- 
self. All my idols fell to the ground before the ark of 
God. I found a perfect hatred to sin, and a complete 
victory over it. 

The whole tenor of my life and conversation was new. 
Free grace, infinite mercy, boundless love, made the 
change. My heart, my tongue, my hands, were now, in 
my little way, employed for my loving God. I was no 
longer of the world, therefore the world began imme- 
diately to hate me. Some said. Ah 1 what think you ! 
Christopher Hopper is converted ! Others said, He hath 
received the Holy Ghost ! Others said, He is mad ; keep 
far from him ; come not near his habitation. Some, of 
a more compassionate turn, pitied me ; but all agreed I 
had renounced my baptism, left the Church, and was in 
a dangerous situation. 

Soon after, Mr. Wesley came to Low-Spenn, formed a 
little society, and made me a leader, to help and watch 
over them. I was but a novice, a young, raw disciple^ 
unskilled in the word of righteousness : but faith in Christ, 
and the love of God in my heart, overcame all the pow- 
ers of darkness. I found unspeakable pleasure in doing 
and suffering the will of God. I laboured diligently with 
my hands : I owed no man any thing : I had enough for 
myself, and a little to spare for others. I attended four 
or five meetings every week : we prayed, sung psalms 
and hyms, read the Bible, and exhorted one another to 
fear and love God. The power of the Lord was present 



MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 89 

to heal ; he owned his own work, and gave us prosperity. 
Many of my old companions were awakened ; also my 
poor old mother, one of my sisters, and one of my bro- 
thers, who had been a champion in the devil's cause, but 
has been an ornament to religion from that time to this 
day. The fire now kindled, and the flame spread. I 
had one invitation after another to High-Spenn, Barlow, 
Woodside, Prudhoe, Newlands, Blanchland, Durham, 
Sunderland, and many other places. 

As yet I had not examined my call to preach the 
Gospel, nor considered the consequences of such an un- 
dertaking. I was sw^eetly carried on with a strong, pre- 
vailing influence, and a loving desire to promote the 
glory of God. I saw the world dead in trespasses and 
sins, void of light, holiness, and happiness. I therefore 
thirsted after their salvation, and thought it my duty to 
promote it. God blessed his word. Sinners were turned 
from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to 
God. But the devil was highly displeased ; he saw his 
kingdom was in danger, and immediately proclaimed 
war against me. I met with great persecution, many 
discouragements, and much opposition in every place. 
Men of all ranks used their power and influence to stop 
this blessed work of God. They spoke all manner of 
evil against the work, and the instruments employed 
therein. They dispensed with two or three awakened 
clergymen tolerably welL These were regularly or- 
dained men of learning ; gentlemen and divines : but to 
see a ploughman, or an honest mechanic stand up to 
preach the Gospel, it w^as insufferable. Hell was moved 
from beneath; a council was called; the edict came 
forth, and war commenced ! Laymen and ecclesiastics 
joined, heart and hand, to suppress these pestilent fel- 
lows : not with acts of kindness, Scripture, or reason ; but 
invectives and hes, dirt, rotten eggs, brickbats, stones, and 
cudgels : these were Satan's arguments in vindication of 
his owm cause. It was the common cry in town and coun- 
try, " Press them for soldiers; send them on board a man 
of war ; transport them ; beat them ; stone them ; send 
them to prison, or knock out their brains, and despatch 
them at once, /or there is no law for them,^^^ 

* This was a great mistake. There was law for us; but we 

8* 



90 MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 

Several of my fellow sufferers had shared honest John 
Nelson's fate already, and I expected to be the next; they 
had their eyes on me ; they daily pursued me as Saul 
did David : they waited for an opportunity to seize on 
the prey, but the hand of the Lord was with me, so I 
escaped ! He delivered me by various means, at sundry 
times, and often in a very remarkable manner. Once, in 
particular, as I was preaching at Wickham, to a quiet, 
attentive congregation, the constable came, with his at- 
tendants, to apprehend me ; they guarded the door, and 
stood with fierce impatience to seize me. When I had con- 
cluded I stepped down, went through the midst of them. 
Was conveyed through a window, and went quietly home, 
leaving the peace officer and his gentlemen to end the 
dispute with loud words, hard blows, and bloody faces ! 

When I first set out to do all the good I could, with- 
out fee or reward, I did not foresee this violent storm. 
I began now to consider what latitude I was in, and 
whether it would not be a point of wisdom to tack about, 
and steer for some quiet harbour. There had been many 
things said and wrote against this new way ; especially 
against those illiterate preachers who so exceedingly 
disturbed the world. I found some doubts concerning 
my call to the work, and almost wished they might be 
well grounded, that I might, with a good conscience, 
desist from preaching. 

I was therefore determined to examine myself, whether 
I had a right to preach ; or whether I had rashly entered 
into a work that did not belong to me. One evening I 
went into a wood, by the side of Darwent-water, much 
dejected. Clouds and darkness surrounded me, and my 
spirit was troubled within me : I said, My enemies are too 
strong for me ; there are few on the Lord's side, but my- 
riads against him : what shall I do ? Alas ! " My family 
is poor in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's 
house." I am a worm^ and no man. O my God ! let me 
enjoy this sweet solitude, and see my friends and compa- 
nions no more ! Let me live as a hermit in this lonely 
desert till my few days are ended ; then shall my weary 
spirit be at rest. I did not want ease, wealth, or honour ; 

could not find a magistrate who had courage or honesty enough to 
put it in force. 



MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 91 

but to know, do, and suffer the will of my Lord and Mas- 
ter. I thought, if I have made a mistake, God will forgive 
me, and I will take shame to myself : I will desist from 
preaching, and live and die a private Christian. But if 
God hath called me to publish the Gospel of his dear Son, 
I must bear a public testimony, and leave the event to 
him. In the midst of these reflections it occurred to my 
mind, What evidence is sufficient to satisfy me in this 
weighty matter? I only Avant a rational, scriptural evi- 
dence. Let me then inquire, with prayer and fasting, 
What reason have I to believe that I am called to preach 
the Gospel ? 1. I have heard and believed the Gospel, 
and found it to be the power of God to the salvation of 
my own soul ; and I believe it to be the powerful means 
which God hath appointed to reclaim and save lost sin- 
ners, Romans i, 16. 2. I believe all power is given to 
Jesus Christ in heaven and in earth ; therefore he alone 
hath power and authority to call, qualify, and thrust out 
labourers into his own harvest. Matt, xxxviii, 18. Hence 
I learn that this power cannot be acquired by human art 
or learning, or purchased with gold or silver, Acts viii, 
20. 3. I believe those who are called and put into this 
work by him, shall turn sinners from darkness to light, 
and from the power of Satan to God, Acts xxvi, 18. 4. I 
have a rational conviction that God hath committed unto 
me the word of reconciliation, 2 Cor. v, 8 : I have this 
treasure in an earthen vessel, in a feeble, mortal body; 
that the excellence of the power maybe of God, and not 
of man, 2 Cor. iv, 7. I find, by daily experience, " we 
are not sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of 
ourselves, but our sufficiency is of God," 2 Cor. iii, 5. 
5. According to this conviction I have preached the 
Gospel to sinners dead in sin, and they have been 
awakened and converted to God. Children of the devil 
have become children of God and heirs of eternal life. 
Having considered these things, I concluded my call 
to preach the Gospel was consistent with Scripture, rea- 
son, and experience. I was filled with joy : I said, " I 
have now the countenance of my God ; the hands of his 
dear Son, the bishop of my soul, laid upon me ; the ap- 
probation of the three presbyters sent by him ; the pray- 
ers of his dear people ; the testimony of a good con- 



92 MR. CIlRlStOPttER HOPPER. 

science, and the pleasure of seeing Zion prosper. I 
therefore pray earnestly that God may incline, persuade^ 
and sweetly influence my heart, and open my mouth by 
his Holy Spirit, to dispense the word of truth to a w^orld 
of perishing sinners. This I desire to do continually, in 
season and out of season, according to the ability he hath 
given me." My drooping spirit now revived. The fear 
of men and devils departed from me, and I set out with 
double courage. I could say, "Jehovah is my light and 
my salvation, whom shall I fear? Jehovah is the strength 
of my life, of whom shall I be afraid ?" Then the word 
of the Lord came unto me saying, " Cry aloud, and spare 
not ; lift up thy voice like a trumpet, and show my people 
their transgressions, and the house of Jacob their sins." 
My heart replied, " For Zion's sake I will not hold my 
peace, and for Jerusalem's sake I will not rest, until the 
righteousness thereof go forth as brightness, and the sal- 
vation thereof as a lamp that burneth." The Lord was 
with me night and day : his threatenings passed over 
me ; his promises comforted me ; and his precepts were 
my delight. I could say, — 

To me, with thy dear name, is given 
Pardon, and holiness, and heaven. 

In the year 1744 I taught a school at Barlow, in the 
parish of Ryton. My time was employed six days in 
teaching the children under my care the branches of 
learning I professed, and the first principles of Christian- 
ity. I spent every Sabbath, and all my vacant hours, in 
preaching, reading, praying, visiting the sick, and con- 
versing with all that Providence put in my way. God was 
with me, and blessed my w^eak labours. Sinners were 
converted, believers multiplied, and my soul rejoiced in 
God my Saviour. But Satan did not like this work : 
therefore he stirred up the rector of Ryton and his curate, 
with those under their influence, to prevent me. They 
gave me first hard words, and then hard blows. In a 
little time I was summoned to appear in the spiritual' 
court at Durham, to answer for my conduct. I did not 
know what I had done. But was soon informed that I 
was impeached for teaching a school without license ; 
and, what was still worse, for calling sinners to repent- 



MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 93 

ance, and warning the wicked to flee from the wrath to 
come ; (an offence that cannot be overlooked by men who 
know not God !) but God raised me up friends, who stood 
by me, and defended my cause against all my adversaries. 

After this troublesome affair was ended, I met with a 
trial of another kind. Before I was awakened I was deep- 
ly in love with one Jane Richardson, a farmer's daughter, 
and an agreeable young woman. She was my first love; 
and had laid fast hold on my youthful heart. She had 
every accomplishment I wanted, but religion. Alas 1 
she was unacquainted with God. This was a bar indeed ! 
I found a desire to break off all correspondence with 
her ; but was afraid she could not bear it. I was greatly 
troubled, and prayed for Divine direction. God was 
pleased to hear, and grant my request. She was soon 
awakened, and found peace with God. All objections 
being removed, on May the 28th, 1745, we were joined 
together in Ryton church. She was a loving wife, a faith- 
ful friend, and a very agreeable companion. She made 
my joys and sorrows her own. We worshipped God in 
spirit and in truth, and rejoiced in the Son of hisl ove. 

The same evening I preached at the Low-Spenn. The 
Lord was with us, and we praised his name together. — 
We lived a few months with my wife's friends at the 
Smeals, near Darwent, in a most loving, agreeabl eman- 
ner. God made us of one heart and mind, and united 
our souls together, by one spirit, in humble love. 

In the year 1746 I removed from Barlow to the 
preaching house, at Sheephill. I received the preachers, 
and my other religious friends, with much pleasure. My 
heart was open ; my door was open ; and my little table 
free for strangers. I gave up my soul, and body, and 
substance to my adorable Saviour, and grieved I had no 
more to give. 

I commonly preached, or met a class every evening, 
after I had dismissed my scholars. I preached twice or 
thrice, and often four times every Sabbath day. When I 
had a day or two to spare from my present vocation, I 
visited Newcastle, Sunderland, Durham, and many other 
towns and villages, ten, twenty, or thirty miles around. 
Herein I met with much opposition, and was frequently 
in great jeopardy. Indeed I did not much regard a little 



94 MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 

dirt, a few rotten eggs, the sound of a cow's horn, the 
noise of bells, or a few sngw balls, in their season ; but 
sometimes I was saluted with blows, stones, brickbats, 
and bludgeons. These I did not w^ell like ; they were 
not pleasing to flesh and blood. I sometimes lost a 
little skin, and once* a little blood, which was drawn 
from my forehead with a sharp stone. I wore a patch 
a few days, and was not ashamed ; I gloried in the 
cross. And when my small sufferings abounded for the 
sake of Christ, my comfort abounded much more. I 
never was more happy in my own soul, or more blessed 
in my labours. 

The latter end of July, 1747, I had a call to visit 
Cornwood, and met with a kind reception. I preached 
several times among the people called Quakers : I hope 
good was done. 

On my return I had an invitation to preach at Allen- 
dale town. A great congregation attended, who behaved 
well, and heard the word gladly. The latter end of De- 
cember I visited Allendale again. A glorioxis work broke 
out. The Lord stretched out his hand to save sinners. 
Mr. Topping, minister of that place, used all his art, 
power and influence, to stop it ; but he could do nothing; 
his strength was perfect weakness against the Lord. 

I went from town to town, and from house to house, 
singing, praying, and preaching the word ; and great 
multitudes followed from place to place, weeping, and 
seeking Him that w^as crucified. Great numbers w^ere 
awakened, and found peace with God, through the blood 
of the Lamb. I have frequently seen a whole congrega- 
tion melted into tears, and bowed down before the Lord, 
as the heart of one man ; especially once, when I was 
preaching in Mr. Lowe's old barn, at Dod-Bank, the 
Lord manifested his great power. He wrought for the 
glory of his own name, and I stood still, and looked on 
with loving fear and wonder. 

In the year 1748 I gave up my school at Sheephill, 
and every thing that was comfortable and convenient, 
and removed to Hindley-hill, in Allendale. I lodged 
with honest Jas. Broadwood, and was as one of his 

* It was at Sunderland, in the midst of an outrageous mob of 
sailors. 



MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 95 

family. The presence of the Lord dwelt in his house, 
and we Hved in peace and unity. I formed a society at 
Hindley-hill, another at Westallen ; one at Alesdon, and 
one at Ninthead : the Lord was among them of a truth. 
I had now work enough, and God's blessing on my la- 
bour. In the latter end of this year I visited Weardale. 
Some of the brethren attended me from Allendale. It 
was in a storm of snow that we crossed the quagmires, 
and enormous mountains. When we came into the 
Dales, we met with a very cold reception. The enemy 
had barricaded the place, and made his bulwarks strong. 
But the Lord made way for his truth. He opened the 
heart of a poor Scotch shepherd to receive us into his 
little thatched cabin, where we lodged all night. 

The next day I preached under the walls of an old 
castle. A few children and two or three old women 
attended, who looked hard at us. When I had done, we 
followed them into their houses, and talked freely to 
them in their own language about the kingdom of God. 
They heard and obeyed the Gospel. The next evening 
I had a large congregation who heard with much atten- 
tion, and received the word gladly. Sometime after I 
preached in private houses, alehouses, cock pits, or 
wherever I could find a door open. The fire then spread 
from heart to heart, and God was glorified. This was 
the beginning of a good work in Weardale, which has 
continued and increased to this day. 

The spring following, in the year 1749, I began 
teaching a school, near Hmdley-hill. But the work of 
God so increased in my hands, that I could not properly 
attend it; therefore, in the latter end of the year I gave it 
up, with all other secular employments, and cast myself 
on the bounty of my Lord and Master. My little sub- 
stance soon failed, and I saw nothing before me but 
beggary and great affliction. Sometimes I was carried 
above all earthly objects, and had a comfortable view of 
the heavenly country. At other times I was much de- 
pressed, and could see nothing but poverty and distress. 
I well remember once on the top of a cold mountain, in a 
violent storm of snow, when the congealed flakes covered 
me with a white mantle, Satan assaulted me, and pushed 
me hard to return to my school, or some other business 



96 MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 

to procure bread. I staggered through unbelief, and 
almost yielded to the tempter. 

But as the attack was sudden, so the battle was soon 
over. The Lord sent these words to my heart like hght- 
ning, " When I sent you without purse, and scrip, and 
shoes, lacked ye any thing? and they said, Nothing, 
Lord,-' Luke xxii, 35. I answered with a loud voice, " No- 
thing^ Lord! nothing^ Lord P'' All my doubts and fears 
vanished in a moment, and I went on my way rejoicing ! 

Constrain'd to cry by love Divine, 
My God, thou art for ever mine! 

Since that time I have been richly supplied with all 
good things. This day I am full. I have all and abound ; 
praise God and the Lamb for ever ! The work now 
began to spread in the Dales, Hexamshire, North Tyne, 
and soon reached Whitehaven. 

And now God raised up many preachers ; men eminent 
both for gifts and grace. Some of them continue local, 
and some are itinerant preachers to this day. The latter 
end of the year* 1749, I left the Dales, and the dear 
children God had given me. I rode to the Smeals, 
w^here I parted with my dear wife and friends, with melt- 
ing hearts and many tears. 

In those days we had no provision made for preachers' 
wives, no funds, no stewards. He that had a staff might 
take it, go without, or stay at home. I then set out for 
Bristol. I called at Chester, Durham, Stockton, Thirsk, 
and Knaresborough, and found the Lord in every place. 
I spent a few days at Leeds. Here God opened my 
mouth to speak his word, and I hope good was done. 

I preached at Bristol on the top of the hill, before the 
foundation of the preaching house was laid. Large con- 
gregations attended, and the power of the Lord was 
present to heal. I rode on to Halifax, and found their 
little society at Skiresat-Green. God gave us a blessing. 
I then rode to Rochdale and preached in the evening, at 
the widow Whittaker's, to as many as the house could 
contain. They were turbulent enough, but we were not 
afraid ; for God was with us. Next day I rode to Man- 

* From this period I shall only give a short sketch of my travels, 
and now and ihen mention a smaU incident. 



MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 97 

Chester, and preached that evening in a little garret by 
the riverside. The congregation multiplied every meet- 
ing. On the Sabbath day the old place would not contain 
them. The multitude was impatient to hear. The old 
wooden house shook under us, and put the congregation 
in confusion. Many trembled and some believed. The 
next evening they procured me an Anabaptist meeting 
house. The place was crowded. They heard with at- 
tention. Many were awakened, and joined themselves 
to seek and worship God. They immediately bought a 
piece of ground, and laid the foundation of their first 
preaching house, which is now their dwelling house. I 
rode through Cheshire, and joined a society at Alpraham, 
and another at Pool. It w^as an humbling time among 
the opulent farmers : the murrian raging among their 
cattle. They hurried them in the open fields. Their graves 
were a solemn scene. The hand of the Lord was on the 
land. I visited the suburbs of Chester. God begun a good 
work then, which has increased, and continued to this 
day. I preached at Birmingham, Evesham, Stroud, and 
Kingswood, and then rode to Bristol, where I spent a 
few days : and I hope not in vain. 

March 20, 1750, I set out with Mr. Wesley for Ire- 
land. We crossed the New Passage into Wales, and 
reached Cardiff before night. 

21. We rode to Brecknock through heavy rain. Mr. 
Wesley's mare fell twice, and threw him over her head, 
but without any hurt to man or beast. 

22. We rode to Builth. A congregation waited for 
Howell Harris, but he did not come at the time appoint- 
ed ; so, at their request, Mr. Wesley preached. I then 
spoke a few words. It was a time of love. The Welsh 
brethren rejoiced in the Lord. We then rode to Ma- 
chynleth, and then to Dolgelly, wet and weary enough. 

24. We rode to DannabulL It rained incessantly all 
the way. Our horses were tired, and we were ready to 
faint, but God was our strength, and we rejoiced in our 
little toil. 

25. We rode to Baldon ferry. Mr. Jenkin Morgan 
came to the waterside, crossed over with us into the 
Isle of Anglesey, and then conducted us to his house, 
half wav between the ferry and Holy-Head. 

9 



98 MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 

Sunday 26, Mr. Wesley preached at Howell Thomas's, 
in TrefoUwin parish. In the afternoon at William 
Pritchard's. The people understood no English, but 
their looks, sighs, and gestures showed, God was speak- 
ing to their hearts ! 

We then went to lodge with one Mr. Holiday, an ex- 
ciseman, who lived in a quiet solitary place, where no 
human voice was heard, but those of the family. 

Wednesday 29, we rode to Holy-Head, and sent back 
our horses with John Jane, who had travelled from Bris- 
tol to the Head with three shillings, and had one penny 
left. About eleven o'clock we went on board. As soon 
as we sailed we had wind and rain enough without, and 
a violent storm in the ship. Mr. Griffith of Carnarvon- 
shire, a clumsy, hard-faced man, saluted us with a volley 
of ribaldry, obscenity, and blasphemy ; but God stopped 
his mouth, and he was confounded. 

Thursday 30, we wrought our way four leagues toward 
Ireland, but we were driven back in the afternoon to the 
mouth of the harbour. The wind then shifted two points, 
and we ventured out again ; by midnight we were got 
half way over ; but the wind turning full against us, and 
blowing hard, soon brought us back into the bay again. 
Mr. Wesley preached that evening on the story of Dives 
and Lazarus, to a room full of men daubed with gold and 
silver ; but they were soon satisfied with it, and went 
away murmuring. After they were gone we had a com- 
fortable meeting with a few plain Welshmen. 

Friday 31, we were determined to wait one week 
longer, if the wind did not serve before. Mr. Wesley 
preached in the evening. Captain Griffith, with his 
dear gentlemen, made noise enough ; but our God de- 
livered us. 

April 1, we returned to Mr. Holiday's, called at Wil- 
liam Pritchard's, then went to Llanerell Ymadd ; but 
the sons of Belial would not suffer us to enter the place. 

Thursday 5, Mr. Wesley preached near the town to a 
few precious souls, who heard and obeyed the word. 

Friday 6, the wind came fair, so we rode to Holy- 
Head early in the morning, embarked with a fair wind, 
and in the evening landed at Dublin. I spent a few days 
in that city, and I hope not in vain. I then visited Port- 



MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 99 

arlington, Edenderry, Mountmellick, Tyrrelspass, Ath- 
lone, Birr, and Aughrim, and found the Lord was with 
me in every place. I had great crosses, but greater 
comforts. I then rode to Dublin, and spent a few days 
there with much satisfaction. 

July 22, I embarked with Mr. Wesley for England. 
We sailed about ten in the morning, and in the afternoon 
came to an anchor. 

Monday 23, we had a vehement squall of wind, thun- 
der, and lightning, between the Welsh Sands and the 
rocky shore of Lundy. We cried to the Lord in our 
trouble, and he delivered us out of our distress. 

Tuesday 24, the wind was contrary. It blew a storm. 
The seas ran mountain high. We were tossed in a nar- 
row channel, full of shoals, rocks, and sands. We 
prayed for help ; our God heard, and brought us safe 
to Pill. 

The next day I came to Bristol, where I spent a few 
days with pleasure, and then set out for Newcastle-upon- 
Tyne. I visited the societies in my way, and they re- 
freshed me in the love of Jesus. I spent a few weeks at 
and about Newcastle. My dear friends were glad to see 
me. We rejoiced together. I then set out for Whiteha- 
ven, where I had a good season. The Lord crowned 
my weak labours with success. About the latter end of 
the year I left Whitehaven, rode to Cockermouth, then 
to Penrith, and the next day came to Hindley-Hill. I 
took a fever in my journey, but rode on to Newlands, 
where I took my bed. My dear wife met me w^th joy 
and grief. She soon catched the disordei', and we con- 
tinued sick for many weeks. We lodged with Mr. George 
Hunter, a friendly man. God richly provided all things 
for us. He blessed us in our sickness, and restored us 
to health. Praised be his dear name for ever ! 

In the spring, 1751, I set out for Bristol. I met with 
honest John Nelson at Leeds. We rode on together 
with some other preachers. We spoke freely to all that 
Providence put in our way, and God blessed our labours. 
We rode through heavy rains and rapid floods ; but the 
Lord preserved both man and beast, and brought us to 
our journey's end in peace. 

Monday, March 11, our conference began at Bristol. 



100 MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 

The more we conversed, the more our love increased to 
God and one another. We kept to our first doctrines^ 
and were of one heart and one mind. 

I then returned to Newcastle-upon-Tyne, visiting the 
brethren in my way. I preached every evening at seven, 
and every morning at five o'clock, and often at noon 
day ; the common work of a Methodist preacher. 

Monday, April 22, 1 set out with Mr. Wesley for Scot- 
land. We rode to Alnwick. Our friends received us 
with joy. We praised God together. 

Wednesday, 23d, we rode to Berwick. Mr. Wesley 
preached at a young man's funeral who had been cut 
off suddenly. It was a solemn time. Many heard for 
eternity. 

Thursday, the 24th, we rode to Old Camus, through a 
Scotch mist. We rode past Preston Field, saw the place 
of battle, and Col. Gardiner's house. Here that good 
man, and brave soldier, fought and died for his king and 
country. We then rode on to Musselborough, where 
Mr. Wesley preached in a large school, to a company 
of wise men so called. 

Friday 26, we rode back to Berwick. I left Mr. Wes- 
ley, and the week following returned to Musselborough, 
where I spent a few days. I preached night and morn- 
ing to a large congregation, who heard with great atten- 
tion. This was the beginning of a good work in Scot- 
land. Some years after I preached at Edinburgh, Dun- 
bar, Leith, Dundee, and Aberdeen. God blessed his 
word, and raised up witnesses to testify that he had sent 
us to the North Britons also. . 

In 1752 I set out with my wife for Whitehaven, where 
1 spent a few days with pleasure and profit to myself and 
others. We then embarked for Ireland, and after a te- 
dious voyage landed at Dublin. I spent a few weeks in 
that city, and then rode to Cork, where I spent the win- 
ter with joy and sorrow. We had warm work in that 
city for a long time : but the word of the Lord prevailed, 
and silenced the enemy. 

In the spring I returned to Dublin, and met my wife 
and friends, who had just escaped the fire of a very hot 
persecution. This year I had many blessings and 
crosses, both by sea and land. 



MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 101 

I'll praise my God with every breath, 

O ! let me die to see thy day ! 
Now snatch me from this life of death, 

O ! come, my Saviour, come away! 

In the year 1753 I left Dublin, and embarked for Eng- 
land. We landed at Whitehaven. I first visited the 
Dales, then rode to Newcastle, and the Lord was with 
us of a truth. 

In the year 1754 I embarked at North Shields for 
London. May 22d our conference began. It was a 
time of love. 

In June I embarked for Newcastle. I had a quick and 
pleasant passage. I preached to the ship's company, 
who heard the word with joy. I landed at Shields, and 
then came to the Orphan House at Newcastle-upon- 
Tyne, where we praised God and the Lamb, with one 
heart and voice, for mercies we had received. 

May 6, 1756, our conference began at Leeds. The 
iirst question was, whether w^e ought to separate from the 
Church of England. After many deep and serious con- 
versations, we concluded that it was not expedient for 
many reasons. I then set out again for Newcastle-upon- 
Tyne. As I was passing through Chapel-Town I got a 
dreadful fall from my horse. My foot was much hurt, but 
all my bones were preserved ; glory be to God and the 
Lamb. I rode with much pain to Newcastle, but enjoyed 
great peace, and a calm resignation to the Divine will. 
This I believe was a gracious dispensation, and w^as sent 
to humble me, and prepare me for a greater trial. 

August 15th my dear wife took a fever. She had great 
pain and heavy affliction for about ten days, together 
with many violent temptations. But she enjoyed perfect 
peace, and was fully resigned to the will of her heavenly 
Father. At last she triumphed over death, and without 
a doubt, a sigh, or a groan, breathed out her happy soul 
into the arms of her adorable Redeemer ! 

On the 28th Mr. Massiot preached her funeral sermon 
to a very large congregation of true mourners. The 
same evening she was interred among her ancestors, in 
Ryton church. She was an agreeable, affectionate wife, 
a constant friend, and a pious, humble Christian. She 
is now in paradise^ and I am left to mourn. 

9'^ 



102 MR. christopheh hopper, 

O may our heart and mind 

Continually ascend 
That heaven of repose to find, 

Where all our labours end ; 
Where all our grief is o^er, 

Our sufferings and our pain ; 
^ Who meet on that eternal shore 

Shall never part again. 

In July, 1756, I set out for Bristol. Our conference 
began August 26th. It was a good season. 

September 15th I once more embarked for Ireland, 
with Mr. Murlin, Olivers, Gilbert, and Massiot : on the 
19th we were within sight of land, and being well satisfied 
with a tedious and dangerous passage, we left the ship, 
and got into a fishing boat, and after rowing very hard 
for some hours, landed at Robertson's Cove, about 
twenty miles from Cork. We were poor strangers now 
in a strange land, and among a people of a strange lan- 
guage ! There was not one inn or private house in the lit- 
tle village that could give us a night's lodging. It was a 
gloomy time. The day was gone, and we stood looking 
one at another like a company of poor prisoners. In 
these circumstances God sent us an honest farmer, who 
was a papist, and he took us home to his house in the 
country, and showed us great kindness. We lodged that 
night in the midst of our enemies ; but the Lord suffered 
no man to hurt us. The next morning our kind host pro- 
vided us horses, and sent a servant to conduct us safe to 
Cork. Here we met with a kind reception. Our friends 
rejoiced with us, and praised God for all our deliverances. 
I lodged with old Mr. Massiot, who kept a house too well 
provided for pilgrims. I spent a few days in that city, 
preaching night and morning, and visited the brethren 
from house to house. I hope good was done. I then 
set out for Dublin, where I spent my winter with plea- 
sure and profit. 

The spring following I returned to Cork, where I spent 
about two months. I found much satisfaction, but not 
without temptations. I met with reproaches and many 
cruel mockings, but found that Spirit resting upon me 
which gave me victory over reproach and shame. I 
then rode to Limerick, where I spent a few weeks. I 
met with some severe trials in that city j but God de- 



MR. CHRlStOPHER HOPPER. 103 

livered me. I then set out for Dublin. 1 found my body 
and mind very weak, yet not without many kind visits 
from my blessed Lord. 

In autumn I took a sore fever. Doctor Rutty, that 
venerable and Wise physician, attended me faithfully, 
without fee or reward. He thought my labours under the 
sun were ended. I bid farewell to the world. I was 
kept in perfect peace, patient and resigned to the will of 
my heavenly Father. I had comfortable and clear views 
of paradise, and a world of happy spirits. When to all 
appearance I was just on the brink of eternity, I fell into 
a sweet rest and dreamed I was dead, and saw all things 
prepared for my funeral, and that my spirit w^as with 
Christ, in a state of unspeakable happiness ; but was sent 
back again to call a few more sinners to repentance. I 
then awoke, my fever was gone, and from that moment 
I began to recover. My strength of body soon returned, 
and the Lord sent me forth with a fresh commission. 

Ilabouredin Ireland till July, 1758, and then embarked 
for England, with Mr. Johnson, Greenwood, and Gilberts. 
We had a fine gale, and soon landed at Parkgate. I then 
rode to Bristol. Our conference began Aug. 10. It was 
a good season. God crowned our meeting with love and 
unanimity. The latter end of September I arrived once 
more at the Orphan House without Pilgrim-street Gate, 
Newcastle-upon-Tyne. My good old friends were glad to 
see me, and received me as one raised from the dead. 

In the latter end of this year I had some thoughts of 
changing my life again. I prayed for Divine direction, 
and took the advice of some of my dear friends. One 
who loved me, and wished me w^ell, recommended to me 
an agreeable person of a fair character, and on April 17, 
1759, we were married at St. Andrew's, Newcastle-upon- 
Tyne. God made his face shine upon us, and blessed 
us, and amply rewarded me for all my days of mourn- 
ing. He doubly restored to me all spiritual and tempo- 
ral blessings. This was a day of prosperity, therefore 
I thought it a day of great danger. 

I was nowfavoured with an agreeable, loving compa- 
nion, a good house, a pleasant situation, and all things to 
make life easy and comfortable. I must confess I found 
a desire to settle, but not to leave my blessed Master's 



104 MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 

work. I began a little business, and had now a fair op- 
portunity to step into the world : but my gracious Lord 
would not suffer me. He showed me that his good work 
would bring me far more gain in the end than all the shops 
in Newcastle. So I set out for the north, and preached 
at Placey, Morpeth, Alnwick, Berwick, Dundee, Mussel- 
borough, Leith, New and Old Aberdeen, Peterhead, and 
then returned to Newcastle the same way. I then set 
out for the London conference, visited Canterbury and 
Dover, returned to London, and then rode back to New- 
castle. In all these journeys I found the Lord was with 
me, and gave his word success. 

In the year 1760, 1 again visited Scotland. The work 
of the Lord prospered in our hands. Sinners were con- 
verted, mourners comforted, and the saints built up in 
their most holy faith. We had now a fair prospect of a 
great harvest in North-Britain, till men of corrupt minds 
stirred up the spirit of vain controversy ; we then spent 
our time and strength about the meaning of words, in- 
stead of promoting the fear and love of God. My soul 
was troubled, and my spirit grieved within me, to see so 
many precious souls turned out of the way of holiness 
and happiness, by noisy disputes and foolish jangling. 
These men will blush in the last day who have done this 
great evil. Let me hve with men of peace, who love 
God and the brethren, and enjoy the life of religion in 
their own souls. 

April 28, 1761, Mr. Wesley came to Edinburgh, and 
the Lord gave his word success. Sinners heard with 
attention and the saints rejoiced in God their Saviour. 

I visited Dundee and Aberdeen, returned to Edinburgh, 
and from thence to Newcastle-upon-Tyne, where God 
blessed his own word. I then set out with Mr. Wesley 
and several of the brethren for Durham. Mr. Wesley 
preached in a green field, by the riverside, to a very large 
auditory. One poor man was favoured with a stone, and 
lost a little blood ; but in the general they behaved tole- 
rably well. I preached in the evening, in the same field, 
to a large congregation. A gentleman, so called, employ- 
ed a base man to strip himself naked, and swim through 
the river to disturb the hearers ; but a good woman soon 
hissed him off the stage, so he was glad to return by the- 



MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 105 

way he came, with much disgrace. Mr. John Green- 
wood informed me afterward, that the very gentleman 
who encouraged the poor wretch above mentioned, was 
some time after found drowned in the same river. O 
God ! thy judgments are unsearchable, and thy ways 
past finding out ! 

In August I left Newcastle, and set out with my wife 
for London. It was a disagreeable journey, but God 
blessed and preserved us from all evil. Sept. 1, our con- 
ference began. On the 22d, King George the Third was 
crowned. Royalty was conspicuously displayed and the 
glory of this present world set forth in all its splendour. 
But kings must die, and then all their glory will vanish 
away. Thence we set out for Newcastle-upon-Tyne^ 
where I spent my winter. 

The latter end of July, 1762, we left Newcastle and 
set out for Leeds. Aug. 9, our conference began. I was 
stationed in that circuit. In July, 1763, 1 set out for Lon- 
don. Our conference began and ended in love. I then 
set out for Scotland. I spent my winter in Edinburgh, 
Dunbar, and Berwick. We lived in a little dark room 
at Edinburgh, encompassed round with old black walls, 
disagreeable enough : but we had a good season ; many 
poor sinners were converted to God. We saw the fruits 
of our labours and rejoiced. My dear Edinburgh friends 
were very kind, especially Lady Gardiner, that good 
old saint, who is now with Jesus in paradise. Praise 
God for all his mercies ! 

In the year 1764, I continu.ed labouring in Scotland. 
On June 1,1 set out with Mr. Wesley and my wife for 
Aberdeen. We had a pleasant and profitable journey. 
This summer we laid the foundation of our Octagon at 
Aberdeen. The Lord gave me success. Many precious 
souls were awakened, and added to the general assem- 
bly and Church of the first-born, which are enrolled in 
heaven. . 

November 13, we set out for Edinburgh, and rode to 
Dundee. The 15th we rode to Kinghorn, and the next 
morning crossed the Frith, and took the stage to Edin- 
burgh. Our friends received us with joy, and we praised 
God together. 

In the year 1765, we laid the foundation of our Octa- 



106 MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 

gon at Edinburgh. I met with much opposition and man5r 
discouragements, but the Lord was on my side, and helped 
me. I collected all I could, gave all I could spare, and 
borrowed above three hundred pounds to carry on and 
complete that building. I preached on the foundation one 
Sabbath day to a large congregation. The power of the 
Lord was present to heal, and many rejoiced to see that 
day. I preached every Lord's day on the Calton Hill, a 
large Golgotha, a place of a skull! By preaching so 
often in the cold air, to very large auditories, with other 
difficulties and hard labours, I laid the ifoundation of a 
very dangerous disorder in my bowels, which baffled all 
the skill of physicians and the virtue of medicine, for 
more than three years. But I could say. 

Let sickness blast, and death devour, 
If Heav'n will recompense our pains ; 

Perish the grass, and fade the flower, 
Since firm the word of God remains. 

In July I set out for England. I spent a few days at 
Newcastle-upon-Tyne, and then rode to Manchester. 
Our conference began the 20th of August, and ended the 
23d. God refreshed us. I visited the brethren, and 
then set out for the north. 

In October Mr. Alexander Coats died at the Orphan 
House, in perfect peace. I saw him fall asleep in the 
arms of our adorable Saviour, without a doubt. Fare- 
well, my brother, for a season ! but we shall meet again 
to part no more. 

In the year 1766 I laboured in Newcastle circuit, but 
was very much indisposed- I was just worn out. My 
bodily strength failed. I was on the verge of eternity. 
But, blessed be God, I enjoyed great tranquillity of mind 
^nd very good spirits. 

Accepting my pain, 

I no longer complain, 
But wait till at last I the haven obtain: 

Till the storms are all o'er, 

And afflicted no more, 
On a plank of the ship I escape to the shore. 

February 20th, that old saint, Henry Jackson, died 
full of love, being ninety-nine years and five months old. 
Let me die his death. 



MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 107 

August 1 2, our conference began at Leeds. We enjoy- 
ed a solemn sense of the presence of God. We met and 
parted in love. I then rode to Newcastle, and spent a 
few months in that circuit. My disorder continued, but 
I could say, '* When I am weak, then I am strong." 

In July, 1767, I set out for London. God was with 
me, and gave me will and power to preach his word. 
August 18, our conference began. Dear Mr. Whitefield 
and honest Howell Harris attended. All was love ; all 
was harmony : it was a pentecost indeed ! 

Li the beginning of September, 1768, 1 left Newcastle- 
upon-Tyne, and set out with my wife for Birstal, in York- 
shire. The Lord brought us to our journey's end in 
peace. We met with a hearty welcome. Our friends 
rejoiced with us, and we praised God together. 

On Tuesday, August 1, 1769, our conference began 
at Leeds. The Spirit of God rested upon us, and made 
us of one mind and judgment. 

In the latter end of July, 1770, I rode to London. 
Our conference began August 7th. The Lord presided 
over us, and made it a time of love. I then set out for 
Birstal, where I had laboured two years with great satis- 
faction, and I hope with some success. 

August 26th I took my leave of my dear Birstal friends, 
and rode with my wife to Bradforth, in Yorkshire. We 
met with a loving reception. I laboured this year with 
much comfort. I hope good was done. 

In the year 1771 the Calvinists proclaimed open war 
against the Remonstrants. In August several of them 
met at our conference in Bristol : but their strength failed. 
They could do nothing : for truth is great, and will pre- 
vail. The two following years I laboured in Newcastle 
circuit, among my dear friends and countrymen, whom 
I love for the truth's sake. Great things hath the Lord 
done in that part of his vineyard. 

In the year 1774 I was appointed at the Bristol confer- 
ence for Liverpool circuit. I took leave of my Newcas- 
tle friends with much reluctance, and set out with my wife 
for Lancashire. September 26th we reached Bolton, in 
the Moors, where we met with a friendly reception. 
We lodged with honest George Eskrik. The presence 
of the Lord dwelt with us, and we enjoyed great peace. 



108 MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 

In the year 1775 I removed to Liverpool, where I spent 
a few months with pleasure and profit : I found much 
love both to the place and people. They bore with my 
bodily weakness, and refreshed me in the Lord. 

In July, 1776, I left Bolton, and set out for London. 
Our conference began the first Tuesday in August. The 
shout of a king was in the midst of us, and we praised 
God together for all that he had done. I spent a few 
days in that great city : preached the word, visited a few 
dear Christian friends, and then set out for Manchester. 

November 7th I set out once more for Ireland. The 
8th I reached Conway ; the 9th Holy-Head : the 10th I 
embarked, and, after a dangerous passage, landed that 
evening in Dublin. I preached every evening at Wood- 
street, to a large auditory. God blessed his word, and 
gave me success. I visited a few poor backsliders, who 
were glad to see the face of an old friend. May God re- 
store them for Christ's sake ! Monday the 24th I em- 
barked for England — 25th, landed at the Head, and took 
the stage to Conway — 26th, I came to Chester, and the 
28th to Manchester ; where my wife and friends received 
me with great joy. We praised God for trials and j 
blessings. 

In the latter end of July, 1777, I set out for Bristol. 
I visited the principal societies in my way, and God gave 
me strength of body and peace of mind. Our conference 
began the first Tuesday in August. We had a good sea- 
son. Love to God and man crowned our meeting. I then 
rode to Manchester, and spent a few days with my old 
friends. I published the word of salvation in Salford, on 
the Sabbath day, to a large congregation. Some of our 
mistaken Churchmen presented the fire engine : but their 
strength failed ; they could do nothing. This vain attempt 
seemed to be the last efibrt of a conquered enemy. I 
then set out for Bradforth, in Yorkshire, where I spent 
an agreeable year with Mr. Benson and my dear friends. 
I hope our weak labours were made a blessing to many. 

In the year 1778 our conference began at Leeds, the first 
Tuesday in August. I was stationed another year with Mr. 
Murlin and Johnson, in Bradforth circuit. We laboured 
together in love. God was with us, and gave us success. 

In the year 1779 I was appointed at our London con- 



MR. CHRISTOPHER HOPPER. 109 

£ei*eiice for Coin circuit, in Lancashire. August 25th, 
I took my leave of our dear friends at Bradforth, and 
set out with my wife for Coin. I met with many agree- 
able, and some disagreeable things. The grand enemy 
had wounded many, who, I hope, are now healed again. 
We have had a severe winter, many crosses and trials, 
and many blessings. The Lord hath owned our weak 
labours, and given us a little success. The last time 
I visited the classes in this circuit, we added thirty-eight 
to our number, twenty-three to the Church of the living 
God, who had found remission of sins through the 
blood of our adorable Saviour. Nine have died in 
peace, and are now with the spirits of just men made 
perfect, in the paradise of God. 

I can say but little about the controversy between the 
Calvinian brethren and the Arminians. I believe Christ 
tasted death for every man, but I do not love conten- 
tion : I am no disputant; I therefore leave polemical 
divinity to men of learning, abilities, and experience. I 
can only say, I have been greatly humbled for my sin. 
I know in whom 1 have believed. I know God is love. 
I know it by experience. He hath loved me, and given 
his Son for me. I have peace with God, through faith 
in. the blood of Christ. I am at peace with all the saints ; 
with all who love the Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity. I 
desire to follow after peace with all men. I hate sin, 
and by the grace of God I overcome it. I love holiness, 
the whole mind that was in Christ, and I pursue it. By 
all means I follow on, if I may apprehend that for which 
I was also apprehended of Christ Jesus. I aim at, w^ish, 
and pray for all that grace, glory, and immortality, 
promised by the Father, and procured by the Son of his 
love. This I call Bible rehgion, genuine Christianity, 
and this religion I call mine. This I desire to recom- 
mend to all men, by preaching his w^ord in the pulpit, in 
the house, and in the way ; in season and out of season, 
according to my ability. Without this religion, all names, 
notions, and forms, among all sects and parties, are but 
mere parade and idle show. Without repentance, without 
faith in the blood of Christ, without hohness of heart and 
life, without love to God and man, all is nothing. Let all 
men consider this well, and pray for, and seek after this 

10 



110 MR. JOHN OLIVER. 

one thing needful, that they may be saved from sin in this 
life, and from hell in the great day of the Lord Jesus ! 



MR. JOHN OLIVER 



TO THE REV. JOHN WESLEY. 



Rev. and Dear Sir, — I was born at Stockport, in 
Cheshire, in the year 1732. My father was fond of me 
to excess. I went to school till I was thirteen, and there 
contracted such acquaintance as led me into every kind 
of folly, dancing, plays, races, cock-fighting, and the 
like ; which laid a foundation for all the vices incident 
to youth. Indeed, the Spirit of God was daily striving 
w^ith me ; but my companions made all his strivings in- 
effectual. My father designed to give me a liberal edu- 
cation, and accordingly put me to the grammar school ; 
but, being reduced in the world, he soon took me from 
school into the shop, where I remained some years. i 

The Methodists then coming to Stockport, I was greatly ] 
prejudiced against them ; and, knowing one of them, 
called upon him, and laboured much to convince him ^ 
they were of a bad religion, and were enemies to the 
Church. But he soon convinced me that I had no re- 
ligion at all : so I came near him no more. But I began 
to feel myself a sinner, and resolved to drop all my ac- 
quaintance and diversions, and to keep close to the 
Church, and repeat the prayers and collects every day. 
Accordingly I dropped them at once, notwithstanding 
all the arguments and expostulations of my companions, 
I read, prayed, fasted, went to church, and seemed more 
and more resolved, till, after a few months, several 
young men of my acquaintance came from Manchester, 
on the Lord's day, to an inn just opposite to our house, 
and sent over for me. My father pressing me to go, I 
went; only resolving not to stay long. But I soon 
forgot this, and all my good resolutions. When I came 
home at night, I was in an agony. I did not dare to pray. 
My conscience stared me in the face, and the terror I 
felt was inconceivable. 

It was soon spread abroad that I was melancholy. A 



MR, JOHN OLIVER. Ill 

neighbour, who was a hearer of the Methodists, sent me 
word there was to be preaching that night. My father 
declared, " if I went he would knock my brains out, 
though he should be hanged for it." However, I stole 
away. The preacher was John Appleton, who invited 
all that were iceary and heavy laden to come to Jesus. It 
was balm to my soul. I drank it in with all my heart, 
and began to seek God as I had not done before. Till 
now I thought of saving myself. My cry now was, " Lord, 
save, or I perish." Yet I knew not how to go on, till 
one sent me word there was a person at her house who 
would be glad to see me. It was Miss Simpson. She 
told me the manner of her conversion to God. She sung 
a hymn, and went to prayer. I was all in a flame to 
know these things for myself. As soon as I got home 
I went to prayer, and pleaded the merits of Christ. Sud- 
denly, I thought I heard a clear voice, saying, " Son, thy 
sins, which are many, are forgiven." I cried out, " Lord, 
if this be from thy Spirit, let the words be applied with 
power." Instantly I heard a second time, " Son, thy 
sins, which are many, are forgiven thee." In that instant 
all my load was gone, and I felt such a change as can- 
not be expressed. I loved God : I loved all mankind, 
I could not tell whether I was in the body or out of it. 
Prayer was turned into wonder, love, and praise. 

In this happy state I remained for several months, 
feeling nothing in my heart but love. Yet I wanted some 
agreeable companions ; and I thought over all the peo- 
ple I knew\ I could not recollect any of our Church that 
were such as I wanted : no, nor any among the Dissent- 
ers or Quakers. The last people 1 thought of were the 
Methodists: I found my soul united to them : I took an 
opportunity of asking one of them, Robert Anderson, 
^' what were the terms of admission among them." He 
told me, '' These :" putting the rules of the society into 
my hands, and desiring me to read and consider them. 
Having done this, I told him there was one rule which 
I was afraid I could not keep : '• meeting every week :" 
but I would meet as often as I could. So I joined the 
society in the year 1748. 

I was now tried in a manner I had not been before. 
My father was a man of a violent temper ; and, as much 



112 MR. JOHN OLIVER. 

as he loved me, his anger quickly overcame his natural 
affection. He sent to all the Methodists, threatening 
what he would do if any of them dared to receive me 
into their houses. Several gentlemen of the town ad- 
vised him to proceed to more severe methods. He did 
so, frequently breaking sticks, and sometimes chairs upon 
me. When all this did not move me, he tried another 
w^ay, charging me with disobedience, and telling me I had 
broken his heart, and would bring down his gray hairs 
with sorrow to the grave. Several clergymen then call- 
ed upon me, and strove to show me the Methodists were 
in the wrong. One of them was Mr. Dale, lately my 
master, who called me his child, prayed for me, wept 
over me, and conjured me, if I loved my own sou], not 
to go near those people any more. My father promised, 
before Mr. Dale, I should go to Church prayers every 
day, and have every indulgence I could wish, " provided 
I would come no more near those d — n — d villains." I 
told him I would do every thing in my power, as a child 
to a parent, to oblige him ; but this was a thing that af- 
fected my conscience, which therefore I could not give up. 

Our society was now much united together, and did 
indeed love as brethren. Some of them had just begun 
to meet in band, and invited me to meet with them. — 
Here, one of them speaking of the wickedness of the 
heart, I was greatly surprised ; telling them I felt no 
such things ; my heart being kept in peace and love all 
the day. But it was not a week before I felt the swell- 
ing of pride, and the storms of anger and self-will : so 
when I met again I could speak the same language with 
them. We sympathized with each other, prayed for 
each other, and believed God was both able and willing 
to purify our hearts from all sin. 

Not long after, having giv^en way to temptation, and 
grieved the Holy Spirit of God, all his comforts were 
withdrawn in a moment : my soul was all over darkness r 
I could no longer see Him that is invisible : I could not 
feel his influence on my heart : I sought him, but could 
not find him. I endeavoured to pray, but the heavens 
seemed like brass. At the same time such a weight came 
upon me as if I w^as instantly to be pressed to death, i 
sunk into black despair, concluding that God had for- 



MU. JOttN OLIVER. 113 

gotten to be gracious. My friends strove to lift up my 
hands ; but it yielded me no relief. I found no gleam 
of light, no trace of hope, no token of any kind for good. 
The devil improved this hour of darkness, telling me I 
was sure to be damned ; for I was forsaken of God, and 
a mere dead weight upon his people. Thus I passed 
over several days and nights. Sleep departed from me; 
and I scarcely ate any thing, till I was reduced to a 
mere skeleton. 

One day, being able to bear no longer, I rose very 
early in the morning, and went to Mr. Cheetham's, at 
Adswood. The family were all very tender over me, 
and, as Mr. Jaco was to preach in the evening, desired 
me to stay. They told him my case, and he strongly 
encouraged me to hope in the Lord. 

My father missing me, and not knowing what was be- 
come of me, was almost distracted. He sent persons 
around about in every road, but could learn nothing, till 
Mr. Cheetham sent a messenger to Stockport, to desire 
he would come over. He came, but I was afraid of 
going home, till he promised he would use no severity* 
As soon as we came home he sent for Dr. H — t, an utter 
stranger to all religion. In proof whereof he immediate- 
ly took a large quantity of blood from me, blistered me 
on the head, back, and feet, and loaded me with medi- 
cines. For near two months I was under his care : all 
that time none of my friends were suffered to see me. 
The clergymen, Messrs. Richmond, Knowles, and Dale, 
visited me in their turns, and used every argument to 
induce me to think of the Methodists no more. 

In the meantime prayer was made for me continually 
in the societies : and a day was set apart for fasting and 
humiliation. I believe it was in consequence of this 
that I was raised up. The doctor and ministers now 
judged I might go out. My design was first to visit the 
church ; but, as I was going, an old acquaintance came 
to my mind, who lived three miles off. I had a strong 
desire to see him ; and, turning about, went straight 
to his house. He caught me in his arms, and said, 
'• My dear child, I am glad to see you. I always 
believed God would deliver yous But where will you 
go now ?" I saw I should not be permitted to serve God 

10* 



114 MR. JOHN OLIVER. 

at home. After consulting together, we agreed it would 
be best for me to spend a little time at Manchester: so 
the next day I went thither. As I was going a gentle- 
man met me, who told my father. I was hearing Mr, 
Haughton in the evening, when my mother, having come 
from Stockport on purpose, would not come in, but stood 
at the door, and sent a person to tell me one desired to 
speak with me. When I came, she said, '' Your father 
is dying, and wants to see you before he dies." Being 
exceedingly struck, I went with her. She took me to 
an acquaintance, Mr. Hibbert's, in Dean's Gate. It be- 
ing late, she said she must stay in town all night, and 
go off early in the morning. But they knew not what 
to do with me ; being afraid the Methodists would come 
and take me away. At length they shut me up in a room 
with strong doors, and a person to guard me all night. 
In the morning I was guarded home, where I found my 
father as well as usual. He did every thing he could 
to extort a promise that I would leave the Methodists. 
But, not prevailing, he gave the matter up, and from 
that time I gained my freedom. 

The week following I met with my brethren again. 
And, O the thankfulness that was expressed on every 
side ! I found now every means was to my soul what 
the river Jordan was to Naaman. My strength came 
again, my light, my life, my God; and I was filled with 
all joy and peace in believing. Indeed I could not see, 
at first, why God had permitted me to pass through those 
deep waters. But I now see it was that I might sympa- 
thize with other afflicted souls from heart-felt experience. 
Soon after it was strongly impressed on my mind that 
God had called me to some more pubhc work. I was 
then a leader, and had occasionally exhorted, but with 
fear and trembling. For some time I resisted the thought, 
fearing it was a device of the devil : I earnestly sought 
the Lord by fasting and prayer : I poured out my sup- 
plication against it. But the more I strove and prayed, 
the more the thought was pressed upon my mind. Mr. 
Bennet was then in connection with you, sir. We were 
intimate, and loved each other dearly. I told him all 
that was in my heart. He asked, " What can induce 
you to undertake such a work as this ?" I answered. 



MR. JOHN OLIVER. 115 

**It can be no view of gain; for I am getting money 
every year, and want nothing. It is not pride : I want no 
praise of men. It is a tender regard for my fellow crea- 
tures. I have had much forgiven, and I now love much. 
And if I could be an instrument of saving but one soul, 
it would make amends for the labour of all my life : 
and I think I am called of God thereto." He said; 
'' Then go on in God's name." 

On December 26th, in the year 1751, Mr. Bennet 
wrote me a letter, wherein he desired me to meet him at 
Manchester, and go a round with him. I met him there, 
and we rode together to Bolton, where notice had been 
given of his preaching. When the hour was come, he 
absolutely refused to preach ; but, after Mr. Mitchell had 
given an exhortation, got up on one of the forms, and 
said, " I have no longer any connection with Mr. Wes- 
ley. He denies the perseverance of the saints, and 
asserts sinless perfection. Now I desire that all of you 
who are of my mind will follow me." They did so ; for, out 
of a hundred and twenty-seven, only nineteen remained. 

He went on till he came to Stockport; where, after 
preaching, he met the society, and told them what he 
had done at Bolton, and added, " Now you must take 
either me or Mr. Wesley." They all joined him but 
one, Molly Williamson. He promised to preach to 
them every fortnight ; but, within a year, utterly forsook 
them, and preached at Stockport no more. 

A few days after I called on Molly Williamson, and 
found her exceedingly afflicted ; Mr. Bennet having 
taken away her sister and her father. She asked, " What 
can we do?" I said, " There is a family at Adswood, 
that has lately come to hear, and has neither joined Mr. 
Bennet nor Mr. Wesley : go over and propose a weekly 
meeting at their house." They willingly accepted of 
the proposal. We exhorted them every Lord's day, 
and met as a class every Wednesday evening. The Lord 
owned and blessed us : we had love and peace ; only 
we wanted the preachers in connection with you. We 
prayed for them : soon after you came yourself, preach- 
ed at noon, and promised to send us preachers. You 
did so : they came once a month, and we thought our- 
selves highly favoured of the Lord. 



f 



116 MR. JOHN OLIVER. 

I Still wanted the preachers to come again to Stock- 
port : and Mr. AUwood being in the circuit, I asked him 
whether he would preach if I could procure a place. — ■ 
He said he would. I spoke to Robert Anderton, who 
kept the old preaching house^ and he consented to his 
preaching there. Soon after we hired a house, and had 
regular preaching therein : and God then revived and 
carried on his work in spite of all opposition. 

In the year 1759 James Wild came into the Manches- 
ter circuit. He was a blessing to many, and to me in 
particular, being exceeding tender over me ; and I be- 
lieve it was in consequence of what he spoke concerning 
me at the conference, that soon after I received a letter 
from you, sir, wherein you told me that I was accepted 
on trial, as a travelling preacher, and was appointed to 
labour in the Sheffield circuit. The news seemed to me 
like a death warrant. I knew not what to do. I thought, 
*• My abilities are by no means sufficient for the work : 
and if I attempt it, I shall only expose myself, and bring 
a discredit upon the Gospel." But, on the other handj 
I thought, " If I do not go, I shall grieve Mr. Wesley, 
and fail in my duty.'' After much reasoning I came to 
this conclusion, I will go and make a trial ; if the Lord 
owns me, and the people receive me, so long as this is 
the case, I will stay with them : if they do not receive 
me, or if I see no fruit of my labour, I will return to 
my business. 

Having prepared all things, and settled my business 
in such a manner that I could return to it with credit, 
I was commended by the brethren to the grace of God, 
and set out with much fear, hardly expecting to stay 
three months in the circuit. 

I thought, certainly they will despise my youth : but 
it was far otherwise. They bore with all my weaknesses, 
and I was kindly received and tenderly treated on every 
side. I was particularly indebted to two faithful friends, 
Mrs. G., of Rotherham, and E. B., of Woodseats. They 
were as nursing mothers to me on all occasions. When- 
ever my mind was burdened I imparted to them all my 
trials, and they lifted up my hands. 

The circuit being long, the preachers seldom saw each 
other but on the quarter day. But the people loved us, 



MR. JOHN OLIVER. 117 

and we loved one another : so that I got the year through 
jnuch better than I expected. And 1 did not run in vain: 
I did see in various places a little fruit of my labour. — 
But I was not satisfied with this : I wanted all the peo- 
ple to be converted to God. And fearing I took up the 
place of some more useful preacher than I was. or ever 
should be, at the close of the year I wrote to you, sir, 
desiring I might go home. You wrote to me, " You have 
set your hand to the Gospel plough, therefore never look 
back. I would have you come up to London this winter. 
Here is every thing to make the man of God perfect." 
I was then in the Haworth circuit with good Mr. Grim- 
shaw, who showed me great kindness. He did not let 
me go without much reluctance. While I was upon the 
road I found my heart thoroughly engaged in the work 
of God, and determined to give up all : yet, when I came 
within sight of London, my spirits began to sink, having 
been always of a fearful temper, which, indeed, continues 
to this day. And when I came into the great city, every 
thing was strange to me. All the people w^ere strangers 
to me, and I to them ; but we soon knew one another. 
The longer I stayed, the better I liked every thing around 
about me. I found your words true: '* Here is every 
thing to make the man of God perfect." 

Soon after I received a letter from Thomas Mitchell, 
at Norwich, earnestly pressing me to come and help 
him. Having consulted with my brethren, I went : but 
as soon as I came, T. Mitchell went aw^ay ; so I was 
left alone for above two months, having care enough 
upon my hands, more than ever I had had before, beside 
the preaching sixteen or seventeen times a week. Being 
almost worn out, I wrote to you, sir, desiring you would 
send me some assistance. In the meantime, my situa- 
tion was made a blessing to me, causing me to give 
myself much to prayer. 

Just at this time a good providence sent to Norwich 
that saint of God, Jane Cooper. I have great reason 
to praise God on her account. She was a general bless- 
ing to the people. By her conversation and prayer, many 
both of the young beginners and old standers, were 
stirred up : many found remission of sins, and many 
were renewed in love ; so that we had gracious show^ers 



118 MR. JOHN OLIVER. 

on every side. She advised me to declare the whole 
counsel of God. " Enforce," said she, " a present and 
full salvation. Many will hate you for so doing, but 
God will love you: and many will believe, and feel the 
force of his word. Therefore, my brother, be strong, 
be bold !" Her name is precious to me to this day. 

After her, came another of like spirit, Paul Green- 
wood : at the sight of ^yhom my spirit revived, I think, 
as much as Jacob's did when he saw Joseph's wagons. 
We laboured together in much love, and not without 
success. He was a man of a truly excellent temper, 
and exemplary behaviour. He was constantly serious, 
but not sad : he was always cheerful, but not light. And 
the people drank into the same spirit, so that the year 
passed very agreeably. 

In the year 1761, my scrofulous disorder appeared, 
and grew more and more troublesome. I applied to an 
eminent surgeon, but was little better. In spring, 1762, 
I went to Canterbury : here 1 had the happiness of con- 
versing with Mr. Charles Perronet, a man of much pain 
and sorrow, but dead to all things here below, and deep- 
ly devoted to God, By him I profited much. He wanted 
to be all spirit : so did I. And we met once a week 
with a few friends who were like minded. I bless God 
that ever I saw them. 

This summer there was a great pouring out of the 
Spirit in London, and many were athirst for the whole 
Christian salvation: so was I. I loved the very name 
of it. I loved to hear it spoken of. I loved all the peo- 
ple that were in pursuit of it, and was never so happy 
as in their company and conversation. This was before 
those extravagances crept in. My soul was sweetly 
united to them. I caught their spirit, and felt such zeal 
for preaching a present and full salvation, that wherever 
I was, I preached it to all believers in the best manner 
I could. This soon had its use, both upon the people 
and upon my own soul. I was convinced more deeply 
than ever of inbred sin, and of the promise of God to save 
me from it. And never did man at a bar plead harder 
for life, than I pleaded with God for this salvation. 

Mr. Perk, of Lincoln's Inn, then a sober, rational 
Christian, desired me one day to call and dine with him 



MR. JOHN OLIVER. 119 

I there unexpectedly met with Messrs. CoUey, Jay? 
Coughlan, Bell, Owen, and some others. When dinner 
was over, one said '' Our Lord has promised, Whatsoever 
two or three of you shall agree to ask in my name, I 
will do it. We agree now." A hymn was sung. It 
seemed as if the glory of the Lord filled the place. We 
went to prayer. A general cry arose, but without any 
confusion. The Lord w^as moved by our instant prayer, 
and we had the petition we asked of him. I was baptized 
as with the Holy Ghost and with fire, and felt that " per- 
fect love casteth out fear." Great was our fellowship 
with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. After 
an hour spent in supplication and thanksgiving, we sung 
from the ground of our hearts, — 

Hang our new-born souls on thee, 
Kept from all idolatry; 
Nothing want, beneath, above ! 
Happy, happy in thy love. 

If ever I had access to the throne of grace, it was on 
this memorable day. Our Lord was inexpressibly near : 
it seemed we might ask and have whatever we wanted. 
And we were exceedingly drawn out in prayer for you, 
your sons in the Gospel, and the people under your care, 
feeling the communion of saints, both on earth below 
and in heaven above. But in all this there was nothing 
wild; but all calmness, meekness, love, and peace. — 
From this time I went forth in the powder and spirit of 
love : I felt nothing but love, and desired nothing but 
more love. And so I continued, withoutany intermission, 
all the time I remained in London. 

I could now understand that objection commonly 
made against those who long to be all devoted to God, 
'' That they do not love to converse with other people, 
with many but those of their own sort." How little spi- 
ritual conversation is to be found among other people ! 
Among any that are not "going on to perfection!" 
Generally the tenor of their conversation is dry, lifeless, 
and useless. But those who are earnestly going on, 
hardly care to talk of any thing else. And whatever con- 
versation has no savour of this is dull and insipid to them. 
From that day to this, I have not lost my sight of, nor 
my affection for, Christian per'fection. But I have been 



120 MR. JOHN OLIVER. 

pressed down by the exercises of every kind which I have 
passed through since that time. I fear some of them 
were purposely laid in my way by those who were no 
friends to this doctrine, and v/ho were not greatly pleased 
with me for enforcing it in every place. But I willingly 
leave this and all my affairs to the disposal of a wise 
and gracious providence. 

The next year I was at Bristol, with Mr. Oddie, and 
was happy both with him and with the people. My heart 
was given up : I was all athirst for God, and wanted every 
thought to be holiness to the Lord. Jesus was the first beau- 
ty to my soul ; he reigned alone in my heart. I was entirely 
and constantly happy in God : he was my all in all. 

In 1764, 1 was again stationed in London. My disorder 
now increasing much, I was advised to apply, without 
loss of time, to Mr. Morley, a gentleman of Halsted, in 
Essex. I went down without delay. He behaved like a 
gentleman and a Christian. He first prayed that God 
would bless his endeavours; and after inquiring minute- 
ly into my case, told me my whole mass of blood was 
corrupted. H^^e therefore advised me to an entire milk 
diet ; to take a quart of milk every day, with some white 
bread, and two table spoonfuls of clarified honey. In 
six months my whole habit of body was changed, nor 
have I had any thing of my disorder since. 

The next year I spent with Mr. Oddie, in the Mm- 
chester circuit. We had some severe trials; but, going 
on hand in hand, we were more than conquerors. Where 
preachers are united, nothing can hurt them : where 
they are not, nothing can help them. 

The year following I was appointed for Newcastle-up- 
on-Tyne, where I found a most agreeable family. And I 
never met with a people who valued the preachers like 
those in this circuit. Their spirit and their cond uct,through- 
out the whole, was '^ courteous, pitiful, and kind." After- 
ward I spent two years in Leeds circuit, two in Bradforth, 
and two in Birstal circuit. Always when I go into a new 
round, I go with great heaviness : but, after awhile, I so 
cleave to the people that I know not how^ to leave them. 

In the year 1773, I was removed to Chester circuit, 
where I continued two years. In the second year I was 
invited to Wrexham. The house being too small for the 



MR. JOHN OLIVER. 121 

congregation, I was desired to preach abroad, which I 
accordingly did, to about a thousand serious hearers. 
While I was speaking, a constable came with orders from 
a neighbouring justice to apprehend me. I desired him 
to stay till I had done my discourse, and I would go with 
him. He agreed so to do ; but the justice, impatient of 
delay, came himself, and seized me by the collar. I said, 
" Sir, here is no riot ; all is peaceable ; and I am a licens- 
ed preacher." Notwithstanding, he dragged me on till 
he saw the constable, and then charged him to carry me 
to Bridewell. As we were walking, I told the constable, 
" I will not go unless you have a written order." He 
went to the justice, and returned with the following 
order, which I have by me : — 

" This is to order the constables of Wrexham, and 
Thomas Price in particular, safely to convey the body of 

Ohver, a vagrant preacher, who hath unlawfully 

assembled a concourse of people in the School-yard, 
against the peace of our sovereign lord the king, to the 
house of correction in the town of Wrexham. And like- 
wise to order the keeper of the said house to receive and 

safely keep the body of him, the said Oliver, for 

farther examination, and that he may be dealt with ac- 
cording to law. 

" Given under my hand and seal, this tenth day of 
June, 1774. Thos. Boycott." 

As I was walking with the constable toward Bridewell, 
there was such a concourse of people, that it was with 
difficulty we got through them. The house was soon 
filled with people of all ranks, who expressed all possible 
kindness. One gentleman said, '* Sir, I will be bound 
with you for £500." Another said, " You shall preach 
at my door, and let them disturb you that dare." I had 
now an opportunity of explaining to them the religion 
which we wished to propagate in every place. I then 
went to prayer, wherein I was greatly refreshed, and most 
of the people were deeply affected. Many would fain 
have stayed with me all night, but I would not suffer it. 
At nine in the morning I was ordered to appear before 
the justice, with whom I found the high sheriff and an at- 
torney. He asked for my license, which I gave him : he 

11 



122 MR. JOHN OLIVER. 

read it, and said it was good for nothing. I said, '^ Sir, 
it was never questioned before, and the questioning the 
validity of it now is a reflection upon the whole bench of 
justices, who gave it me in open court." The attorney 
then beginning to interrogate me, I said, " Sir, I am under 
no obligation to answer impertinent questions." He got 
up, went out, and I saw him no more. The justice then 
told me, unless I would promise to preach there no more, 
fae would order me to be whipped out of the town. I 
answered, " Sir, I will make no such promise. I am an 
Englishman. I have violated none of the laws of my 
country, and therefore am liable to no punishment." 
After using a few more contemptuous w^ords, he told me 
I might go about my business. So I took my leave of 
Mr. Boycott, rejoicing that I was counted worthy to suf- 
fer shame for my Master's sake. 

The next year I laboured in Sheffield circuit, where 
was a great outpouring of the Spirit of God. And through- 
out the year there appeared to be a general moving 
among the people. In the succeeding years I was in 
Manchester, Liverpool, Macclesfield, and Birstal circuits. 
And I bless God, I never was in any circuit yet where 
I had not some seals of my mission. God has wrought 
wonderfully of late in Birstal circuit. He is blessing us 
on every side. Some hundreds have within this year 
been added to the societies. On the national fast day, the 
little society at Thong appointed a prayer meeting in the 
evening. The Spirit of grace and supplication was so 
poured out upon them, that they continued until morning. 
Several were in the greatest agony, lying upon the ground 
in cold sweats, one crying out, "Lord, help me 5" another, 
" Save, or I perish." Before they parted eight were just- 
ified, and several renewed in love. 

I would beg leave to observe, upon the whole, that 
having been near thirty years in the service of a good 
Master, I have great reason to be humble for having 
done so little for God, for my neighbour, and for myself. 
I might have exerted myself more in the cause of God, 
and have made greater improvement, both as a preacher 
/and as a Christian. God be merciful to me a sinner. 
I am, Rev. sir, your affectionate son in the Gospel, 

John Oliver. 



MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 123 



MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 



TO THE REV. JOHN WESLEY. 

Rev. Sir, — I was born at Brechin, in North Britain, 
in February, 1733, of reputable parents, who made it 
their business to bring me up in the fear of God. They 
instructed me early in the principles of religion and took 
particular care to keep me from evil company ; so that 
when I grew up, I was an utter stranger to the vices 
common among men. And I took pleasure in reading 
good books, and learning our catechism by heart. 
When I was at the Latin school, it was the custom of 
our master, every Lord's day after the evening service, 
to hear what we could remember of the sermons, and 
pray with us. Under one of his prayers (when I was 
about ten years old) T was struck with strong convictions. 
And these never quite left me, but I always retained a 
desire to be a Christian. 

Soon after this, out of a childish frolic, I went away 
with a party of the rebels.. But I knew not what I did. 
I hereby exposed myself to many hardships and dan- 
gers. But the Lord dehvered me out of all. Many 
mighty ones fell on Culloden heath, and in the way to 
Inverness, and indeed on every side: yet I was merci- 
fully preserved. But when I came near my father's 
house, there was no entrance for me. And I knew not 
w^here to go, till my mother resolved to take me to a 
relations of her's near Perth. 

We had a large river to cross, which was much swelled 
by the late rains. We were just got into the boat, when 
a gentleman on horseback came and begged us to stay 
and take him in, which we accordingly did. He seemed 
much fatigued. My mother desired me to hold his horse, 
which 1 did, twisting the bridle around my hand. When 
we were about the middle of the river, the horse took 
fright and leaped out of the boat, taking me and the oars, 
and both the boatmen with him : so that none were left 
in the boat, but my mother and the gentleman, without 
any means of helping themselves. The horse swam to 



124 MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 

the opposite shore, dragging me with him : then turned 
back, and swam to the shore we had left. He then 
jumped out, pulling me just above the water ; but I there 
lost my hold and fell back into the river. It carried me 
down, rolling me over and over, till it brought me to the 
side of the boat, which was strangely got to the same 
shore. They caught hold of me and pulled me in. 

Here I cannot but remark several providential inci- 
dents : 1. That both of the boatmen should get safe to 
that side of the water. 2. That when they were there, 
they should be able to get the boat, with my mother and 
the gentleman safe in it. 3. That the horse did not leave 
me on the opposite side, where, to all appearance, I must 
have perished. 4. That, notwithstanding the impetuosity 
of the stream, the horse should reach the land above the 
boat. Had it been below, I had probably been lost. I 
admire, above all, the exact time of every circumstance ! 
Had I been brought to the same side first, I could have 
had ho help : had the boatmen reached the opposite side, 
they in the boat could have had none. And had any of 
us been carried but a little lower, we must inevitably have 
been swallowed up in a whirlpool. After having thrown 
up much water, I was so far recovered as to be able to 
take boat again. And having got safe over, we travelled 
twelve Scotch miles (eighteen English) before night. But 
we could not travel without much danger, as the country 
was full of parties, both horse and foot, who abused all 
the strangers they met with, and often took them prison- 
ers. When we came near a town, we inquired of one we 
met, where we could have a quiet lodging ? She said " she 
could recommend us to no inn ; for they would inform 
the soldiers of us, who were very rude to all strangers, es- 
pecially to women : but if we would put up with the house 
of a poor man, she knew one that she thought would re- 
ceive us." So she conducted us to a little cottage, where 
we found the man engaged in family worship. When it 
was ended, he looked upon my mother and said, ^'Good 
wife, I have no place fit to entertain you, who appear to 
have a good home somewhere. Neither can I protect 
you, if the soldiers hear you are in my house. But if 
you please to sit by the fire, with a little straw for the 
lad to lie on, you are welcome. They then gave us 



MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 125 

something to eat and drink, which we received with 
thankfulness to God. The good woman then laid me 
•down on the straw, and sat by my mother till the morn- 
ing ; when, having been commended to God in prayer 
by our host, we went on our journey. 

My mother's brother was a considerable farmer, in 
the Carse of Go wry, near Perth. Thither we got before 
sunset, and were kindly received, till my mother told him 
her design of leaving me there. But his wife opposed it 
much, fearing lest, if it was discovered, they should be 
ruined for harbouring me. However, my uncle seeing 
the distress my mother was in, overruled her, and said, 
^' I should stay." And the next morning he sent a servant 
with my mother, who saw her safe home. I stayed the 
Sunday at my uncle's. But on Monday morning before 
sunrise he called me (his wife having prevailed) and told 
me, '^ You must go hence." So I set of!* with one to 
guide me across the monntains. He then left me to find 
my way as I could, to a place and a person I had never 
heard of before: but I had a line to the mian : Providence 
brought me to the place ; but the man was not at home. 
However, he came the next day, and received me kindly. 
Here I stayed till about midsummer, and then removed 
to a distant relation's, where I stayed till November. It 
was then judged that I might go home safely: but when 
I came, my father would not let me come into his house. 
Nay, he went and made information against me to the 
commanding officer : and I should have been sent to 
prison, had not a gentleman of the town interfered for 
me, and procured leave for me to lodge at my father's 
house. In the morning a file of musqueteers came to take 
me into custody, and brought me to the officer. After 
asking many questions, he told me, " You may go home." 
But when I came to the door, the soldiers not knowing 
his order, were going to carry me to prison : till he 
looked out of the window, and bade them let me go. 
However, my father would not put me to school any 
more, but kept me to his business, that of baking. I 
continued with my father till the beginning of May, 
1751 : when, being well acquainted with my business, I 
determined to go abroad. I set out with another young 
man, who was enjraged in Perth. Here a place was 

li*- 



126 MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 

provided for me in a pious family, where I remained 
till after Christmas. Two persons then came from 
London, with one of whom I contracted an intimate 
acquaintance. One Lord's day she asked me to go with 
her to the Episcopal meeting. It affected me much, 
and from that time I attended it whenever I could. And 
I cannot but say it was of great use to my soul, and has 
proved so ever since. 

About this time I formed a purpose of going to Lon- 
don, and having took leave of my relations, we set sail 
from Montrose about the middle of June, 1752. When 
I came to London I knew no one there : but the kind 
hand of God w^as over me. I found a brother of my 
father's, who, being of the same trade, took me to work 
with him till he procured me a place in a serious family 
at Billingsgate. But as I was a foreigner, my master 
was summoned to Guildhall, and obliged to put me away. 
In a little time I got me another place, near Whitechapel- 
Bars. And as I was strong and active, my master per- 
suaded me to engage for a year certain. Afterward he 
did not use me well : till one day, being in a passion, he 
ordered me instantly to quit his house ; which I imme- 
diately did. 

In the year 1753, my present wife, who was born near 
where I was, and had lived several years with my parents 
in my infancy, heard I w^as in London, and resolved to 
see me. We had not seen one another for many years, 
and were both glad of the meeting : and as I was then 
out of place, we had opportunity of seeing each other 
frequently. On February 14th we were married. I had 
then forgot the resolutions I had often made of living 
wholly to God whenever I should marry : but he soon 
brought them back to my remembrance by laying afflic- 
tion on my wife. I now began to be'in good earnest for 
salvation : I bought up all opportunities for prayer. I 
resolved to break through all opposition, and to serve 
God with all my heart. But still it lay heavy upon my 
mind, that I had not performed my vow of praying with 
my wife. And my convictions increased day by day, till 
my appetite was gone, and my sleep departed from me : 
my bones were filled as with a sore disease, and my tears 
were my meat day and night. I now broke through and 



MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 127 

prayed with my wife, and we never after left the practice. 
It was not long after this, that she knew God to be a par- 
doning God. And all that summer we continued praying 
and striving together, and steadily walking in all the ordi- 
nances of God. After living at Hampstead sometime, I 
removed to a place at St. Catharine's. While I was here 
I was one day going hastily along the street, and a loaded 
cart stood in it, w^hich nearly filled it up. However, I 
went on, thinking I could get by : but just as I was going 
by it moved, caught my basket, crushed me up against the 
wall, and dragged me along till we came against a shop 
window, which gave w^a}' and released me. Every one 
that saw it supposed I should be crushed to death ; or at 
least my arms or legs would be broken. But I received 
no hurt at all, beside a little bruise on the back of my 
hand. 

In September, 1753, I w^as hired to Mr. Merriot. Our 
meeting was not expected on either side : he had been 
inquiring the character of another, which he did not ap- 
prove of : and I was inquiring for a master, w^hen he 
came and asked me if I was out of place ? I answered. 
Yes. He asked me if I would keep good hours ? Which 
I promised to do. So we agreed, and I entered upon his 
service. Here I found what I had long desired, a family 
w^herein was the worship of God. This stirred me up to 
be more earnest in seeking him : to be exact in praying 
by myself every morning, and with my wife every after- 
noon. And we continued seeking him with our whole 
heart, and shunning whatever we thought offensive to 
him. We used, likewise, every means of grace. I have 
sometimes gone to my knees w^hen I was going to bed, 
and have continued in that position till two o'clock, when 
I was called to go to work. My wife had sometime since 
found a degree of peace with God. But I could find no 
peace, nor could I tell what hindered, unless it was the 
baking of pans, as they called it, on Sundays. 1 would 
gladly have refrained from this, but then I must have 
left my place, and I had no hope of finding another place 
which would not have been liable to the same inconve- 
nience. However, I resolved, as soon as Christmas was 
over, to give up my place at all events. Meantime m.y 
flesh consumed away, like as a moth fretting a garment. 



128 MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 

And my bones were ready to start through my skin ; for 
I had no rest day or night. The following Sunday my 
wife and I ventured, for the first time, to the holy com- 
munion ; and I found some comfort ; but the sense of 
my profaning the Sabbath soon took it away. I now 
resolved to delay no longer than the next day, being 
willing to suffer rather than sin. Accordingly, on Mon- 
day morning, as soon as my master came down stairs, I 
gave him warning : he did not then speak one word : but 
soon after he came into the shop and asked me, " If I 
hadgot another place?" I answered. No. He said, "Why 
then would you leave this?" I answered, "Because I 
dare not commit sin by breaking the Sabbath, as I have 
done." He used many arguments with me, but in vain. 
I told him, " I must abide by the word of God, whatever 
be the consequence : but I will not go away till you suit 
yourself with another man." 

God now gave me much confidence, and I found much 
power to pray, that if it was not his will we should part, 
he would incline my master to give it up. And the same 
day he went with a neighbouring baker to all of the trade 
in Shoreditch and Bishop's-gate without ; proposing that 
they should all enter into an agreement to give it up at 
once. All but two agreed. He then advertised for a 
meeting of the master bakers upon the subject : but no- 
thing could be concluded. Afterward I suppose he asked 
the advice of the brethren at the Foundry. After he had 
taken all these steps, more than I could reasonably ex- 
pect, he told me, " I have done all I can, and now I hope 
you will be content." I sincerely thanked him for what 
he had done, but told him I could not stay any longer 
than till he had suited himself. But I continued in prayer. 
And on Sunday evening, after family worship, he stop- 
ped me and said, " I have done to-day what will please 
you : I have stayed at home and told all my customers 
I will no more bake on a Sunday." I told him, " If you 
hav^e done this out of conscience toward God, be assured 
it will end well." And so it did. That very year his trade 
considerably increased. And he had a large augmenta- 
tion of his fortune, so that he was enabled to relieve 
many that were in want, and also to lay up abundance 
for his children. May they herein tread in then' father's 
steps. 



MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 129 

He then asked me how I came to scruple baking on 
Sundays ? And I told him simply how God had dealt with 
my soul. And I believe it was then he first felt that af- 
fection for me, which continued to his dying day. (From 
that time both he and my good mistress were particu- 
larl}^ kind to me and mine. And when, some years after, 
my station in London placed me in some sense over 
them, there were none in the society that more fully 
submitted to every branch of discipline.) It was then he 
asked me to go with him to the Foundry, which I did at 
five the next morning. When I came back, I told my 
wife where I had been. It grieved her very much, as 
she believed all the idle reports she had heard ; many of 
which she rehearsed, and added, " Now our peace is 
broken for ever.'* This stirred me up to be more earnest 
in prayer, but did not prevent my going every morning. 
On Sunday she was persuaded to go with me, though 
much afraid of my being drawn into some wrong way. 
John Nelson preached an alarming discourse, which I 
hoped would affect her much. But, on the contrary, she 
was much disgusted, saying, '' He has shown me the way 
to hell ; and not the way to get out of it. But I thank 
God, he has shown me that Jesus Christ is the way : and 
has brought me out of it too." However, she went 
again the next Sunday. Mr. Charles Wesley then preach- 
ed, and described the whole process of the work of God 
in the soul. She followed him step by step, till he came 
to the abiding witness of adoption, and here he left her 
behind. She was now both pleased and profited, and we 
now went on hand in hand in the ways of God. But still 
I did not find the Spirit of adoption, though I sought ii 
diligently, continuing instant in prayer, and attending the 
word every morning and evening. Indeed, this was not 
without difficulty ; for I had no time for either but v^hat 
I took from my sleep, which should have been from six 
to ten in the evening, and from half past four to six in 
the morning. I now slept little and ate little, and the 
grief of my soul drank up my spirits. But yet I could 
not believe, though I continued in prayer and supplica- 
tion day and night, seeking God in sincerity of heart, 
and carefully departing from evil. 

About this time my wife and I were permitted to stay- 



130 MR. AfLEXANDER MATHER. 

at the meeting of one of the classes. I was much pleased 
and refreshed : but she said, '' They had all agreed what 
to say, in order to catch us." Such is the folly of preju- 
dice ! It was soon after this, that you returned from the 
Bristol Hotwells, (being just recovered from your con- 
sumption,) namely on Easter Eve, 1754. The next day 
you preached at West-street, April the 1 4th : it was the first 
time I ever saw or heard you. Under that sermon God set 
my heart at liberty, removed my sins from me, as far as 
the east is from the west : which the very change of my 
countenance testified before my tongue cauld utter it. I had 
no great transport of joy ; but my load was gone, and I 
could praise God from the ground of my heart ; all my sor- 
row, and fear, and anguish of spirit being changed into a 
solid peace. But on Monday, in the afternoon, as I was go- 
ing along, I began to think, " You fancy your sins are for- 
given, but you are deceived." I had but a little time given 
way to these thoughts before I was quite miserable. And 
when I got ho me, my wife immediately asked. What is the 
matter with you? I said, "Matter enough: I have deceived 
my own soul ; I wish I had my sorrow again." She strong- 
ly urged me not to reason, but believe ! to look unto Jesus, 
as giving himself for me. I was encouraged. I soon re- 
covered my peace, which by the mercy of God I have not 
lost since. Soon after we both joined the society, and 
met in brother Good's class ; and this, among all the 
means of grace, was peculiarly useful to my soul. 

About this time my eldest brother, who used the sea, 
after being wrecked, got his passage to London. He was 
easily convinced of sin, and soon after converted to God. 
So being all of one heart and one mind, we rejoiced in 
God all the day long. But it was not long before I had 
strong impressions on my mind, that God had called me 
to preach. I mentioned this in my band, after I had often 
sought God by fasting and prayer. We set apart some 
days for the same exercises. Afterward they advised me 
to mention it to you. You said, " This is a common 
temptation among young men. Several have mentioned 
it to me. But the next thing I hear of them is, that they 
are married, or upon the point of it." I said, "Sir, I am 
married already." You said, " Care not for it ; but seek 
God by fasting and prayer." I answered, "This T have 



MR. ALEXANDER MATHER, 131 

done.'' You strongly recommended patience and perseve- 
rance therein ; and said, you doubted not but God would 
isoon make the way plain before my face. Soon after you 
appointed me to be the leader of a band, and, in a little time, 
of a class. And God blessed me in both : but this did 
not at all alter my conviction that I must preach; nay, it 
grew stronger and stronger, till, having no rest day or 
night, I was constrained to come to you again, and tell 
you just what I felt. You told me, " To be a Methodist 
preacher is not the way to ease, honour, pleasure or pro- 
fit. It is a life of much labour and reproach. They often 
fare hard, often are in want. They are liable to be stoned, 
beaten, and abused in various manners. Consider this 
before you engage in so uncomfortable a way of life." 
I replied I had no desire to engage therein, unless it was 
the call of God ; and I did not regard what I suffered in 
doing the will of God. You said, " You may then make 
a trial to-morrow morning at Snowfields chapel." I did 
so. The Monday following you appointed me for Wap- 
ping chapel, and for the Foundry on Tuesday morning. 
It was near ten o'clock when I received the message. I 
soon went to work, but was engaged in meditation and 
prayer for assistance, all the time I was making my 
dough. As soon as I had done, (the rest of the family 
being in bed,) I went to prayer, in which I found great 
liberty. I then read in my Bible to find a text, and conti- 
nued reading and praying till two o'clock. Tt was then 
time to call my fellow servant, and we went to work to- 
gether, being employed, as usual, till near four, in pre- 
paring the bread for the oven. All this time I was still in 
meditation and prayer, but could not fix upon a text. 
Soon after four he went to bed again, and I went to prayer, 
till a quarter before five, when I went to the Foundry, 
but with much fear and trembling : and when I took up 
the hymn book I was so faint that I could not speak so 
as to be understood. The people therefore could not 
sing ; and as I was no singer, we were all at a stand. 
This did not a little increase my agitation, which was so 
great that I could not keep one of my joints from shak- 
ing. However, in a little while I went on ; and, after 
prayer, opened the Bible on these words, '' Ye are bought 
with a price : therefore glorify God with your body and 



132 MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 

spirit, which are Grod's." I now left the determination 
of this weighty affair with you; desiring, that if you 
judged I was called of God to preach, you would em- 
ploy me (as my business would permit) just when and 
where you pleased. 

In a little time I was more employed than my strength 
would well allow. I had no time for preaching but what 
I took from my sleep : so that I had frequently not eight 
hours' sleep in a week. This, with hard labour, constant 
abstemiousness, and frequent fasting, brought me so low 
that in a little more than two years I was hardly able to 
follow my business. My master was often afraid I should 
kill myself, and perhaps his fear was not groundless. I 
have frequently put off my shirts as wet with sweat as if 
they had been dipped in water. After hastening to finish 
my business abroad, I have come home all in a sweat in 
the evening, changed my clothes, and ran to preach at 
one or another chapel : then walked or ran back, changed 
my clothes, and gone back to work at ten, wrought hard 
all night, and preached at five the next morning. I ran 
back to draw the bread at a quarter or half an hour past 
six; wrought hard in the bakehouse till eight ; then hur- 
ried about with the bread till the afternoon, and perhaps 
at night set off again. 'Tis true, I need not have con- 
tinued so long in this way. For you proposed my going 
to Ireland with you, as a travelling preacher, in the be- 
ginning of March, 1756. I cheerfully agreed thereto, as 
you promised my wife should be provided for in my ab- 
sence. This I mentioned to one of my friends, who said, 
" No doubt he intends it ; but when he is gone, the stew- 
ards will do as they please :" adding, " How can you 
labour in Ireland while your wife is starving here ?" I 
thought, however, I will talk with the stewards myself. 
I did ; and Mr. Brolts and Hobbins asked, " What will 
be sufficient for your wife ?" I answered, " Four shillings 
a week." But this they were unwilling to allow. So I 
remained at my business till another way was pointed out, 
which I followed till August, 1757. It was then agreed 
that I should travel, and that my wife should have that 
fixed allowance. This was the beginning of that settle- 
ment for preachers' wives, which (with the addition of 
forty shillings a year) continues to this day. I was 



MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 133 

appointed for Epworth circuit, in Lincolnshire ; which 
then included Gainsborough, Grimsby, and Sheffield 
circuits. I left London August 15th, 1757, to walk to 
Epworth, about a hundred and fifty miles. My fellow 
labourers were Thomas Hanby, Thomas Tobias, and, 
afterward, Thomas Lee. It pleased God to give me 
much of his presence in my own soul, and to let me see 
some fruit of my labour. This supported me under the 
various exercises I met with. The first of these was at 
Rotherham, where John Thorpe, one of our local preach- 
ers, had just separated from us. He declared open war 
against us, particularly opposing what he called my 
perfection. Yet it pleased God to raise up many wit- 
nesses of it ; many that loved him with all their hearts ; 
several of whom are still burning and shining Hghts, 
and several removed into Abraham's bosom. Yea, it 
was observed that some of his own hearers, even while 
he was preaching against salvation from sin, were fully 
convinced of the necessity of it : and indeed never rest- 
ed more till they were happy witnesses of it. 

In autumn I was desn^ed to go to Boston. I did so, 
and preached in a field on a Sunday evening with tolera- 
ble quietness. The next time I went, Mr. Allwood and 
I judged it would be best to be in the market place. We 
began singing, when suddenly a large mob appeared, 
with a drum beating before them : meantime a great 
number of squibs were thrown among the people. — 
Finding it was impossible to be heard, we proposed 
going to a friend's, about a mile from the town. The 
moment we turned our backs, the dirt and stones flew 
like hail on every side. On the bridge a man stopped 
us ; but we broke from him, and w^ent on with the mob 
at our heels, throwing all that came to hand. Their 
number continually increasing, we thought it would be 
most advisable to face them, and try to get back to the 
town, where we had left our horses. My two compa- 
nions immediately leaped over a wide ditch, which divided 
the field. But, before I could follow them, one of the 
mob coming behind me, struck up my heels, and gave me 
a violent fall. When I got up, my friends were out of 
sight, and the mob surrounded me on every side. I 
knew not which way to go, neither, indeed, how to go 

12 



134 MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 

at all ; being exceeding weak and spent, both with the 
fall and the many blows I had received. Being a little 
recovered, I tried to go through them to a foot bridge 
that was over the ditch. They forebore throwing till I 
drew near the bridge, and then all cried out, " Ditch him^ 
ditch him." And just on the side of the ditch one struck 
up my heels again. Yet he stood by me, and let me 
rise up, and walk quietly over the bridge. There I 
was, in the middle of the mob, and had a large field to 
go through, parted from the road by high rails, which 
had a broad ditch on either side. When I came to the 
rails, I knew not how to get over, my breath being al- 
most spent. And if I could, I saw no likelihood of 
escaping the being thrown into the ditch. However, 
they let me crawl over without much hurt. But as 
soon as I was on the road, the same person who stopped 
us on the bridge, collared me, to drag me to the horse- 
pond, while the rest plastered me over afresh with dirt. 
But just as we came to the pond, a gentleman called 
out to him that held me, " Let the man go." He im- 
mediately let go his hold, and I passed by the pond. I 
had still to walk through the whole town, my horse 
being at the far end of it. When I came into the street 
they got the dirt out of the kennels, and threw it into 
my face. As no door was open to take me in, I was 
obliged now and then to turn and face them (otherwise 
they seldom looked me in the face) in order to get 
breath. When I came into the market place there was 
a general shout for the glorious victory. Before I got 
to the inn, I was just ready to lie down, when one struck 
me violently, in order to strike up my heels. But I kept 
my feet, I know not how ; which I looked on as a great 
mercy ; as such a fall upon the stones might have done 
me much hurt. At the same time one threw a stone, 
which struck me on the temple. I then concluded I 
must die in their hands. But by the mercy of God I 
was strangely brought through all the muhitude to the 
inn where I had alighted. Being sat down, my first 
thought was, " Father ! forgive them ; for they know 
not what they do." Indeed my mind (glory be to God !) 
was kept through the whole in perfect peace. By this 
time some of my friends, who had followed at a distance, 



MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 135 

Trere come in, and were washing my wound, when the 
mob came to the door, threatening what they would do 
to the house if the landlord did not turn me out. He 
came in and said, " I cannot keep you here ; for the 
mob will pull my house down." I told him, " Sir, I am 
in your house 3 but while I use it as an inn it is mine. — 
Turn me out at your peril. If you fear your house, 
apply to a magistrate for protection." He went to his 
landlord, who was a magistrate, and ordered him to take 
down the names of the chief rioters. After a while I 
mounted my horse in the yard, and then, the gates being 
opened, rode through a shower of stones, and came safe 
to our friend's house. But I was so bruised, almost 
from head to foot, than when I was cold I could hardly 
stir. And it was a full year before I quite recovered 
the hurts which I then received. 

The next day I went back with a friend to town. I 
soon found three of the rioters, to whom I could sw^ear, 
but the rest were absconded. Hearing the justices were 
in the hall, we went thither without delay ; and telling 
the clerk we had business with the court, we were speedi- 
ly introduced. The chairman, after we had made our 
complaint, roughly said, " You are the aggressor ; and 
now you have the impudence to come to us, requiring 
justice against others !" I answered, " I am here. If 
I have broke any law, inflict the penalty upon me. But, 
in the mean time, I require you, in his majesty's name, 
to do justice upon these rioters." After more threats, 
I was desired to call upon one of them, at his own house, 
when the court was over. I did so, and he behaved 
exceeding well, sending his sergeant for tvvo of the riot- 
ers ; one of whom brought his master to speak for him : 
but the justice told him plainly, " Either make it up with 
Mr. Mather, or I will send you to jail directly." They 
both then asked pardon, promised good behaviour for 
the future, paid the expenses, and were dismissed. The 
third lied : but a warrant being given, he was appre- 
hended ; but upon the same terms he was released. 

I cannot but remark another thing which happened 
this year. Nottingham had at this time no regular 
preaching. I had a strong desire to make a trial there, 
and came thither in the afternoon. At Matthew Bag- 



136 MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 

shaw's I found John Johnson, of York, who said, " I am 
glad you are come ; for here is a poor man who is to 
die to-morrow, whose behaviour is terrifying ; he curses^ 
swears, and threatens death to all who have given evi- 
dence against him ; the jailer in particular. He will 
see no clergyman, but says he resolves to be a devil, 
that he may revenge himself. The minister has given 
me free leave to visit him. I went this morning, but 
he said, ' Give yourself no trouble about me. By this 
time to-morrow I shall be a devil, and then I will come 
and tear that villain in pieces.' " We immediately went 
to prayer, and vehemently wrestled with God on his 
behalf. After prayer we went to him, and at first sight 
observed an entire change in his behaviour. We in- 
quired when this sudden change began, and found it was 
just while we were at prayer. But we had little oppor- 
tunity of speaking to him, the minister (for whom he 
had sent) being just come, I could only say, as he pass- 
ed by me, heavy-ironed, " Jesus Christ is both able and 
willing to strike off the heavier fetters of sin from your 
soul." He looked earnestly, but said nothing. We 
applied again to the throne of grace, before and after the 
preaching; and likewise great part of the night. We 
went early in the morning, and he was brought to us in 
the parlour. We talked and prayed with him some 
time. After rising from prayer, he said to the jailer,. 
" I now forgive and love you ; and I hope and pray 
that you will forgive me." This was quickly noised 
about the town, which filled the yard with spectators, 
who crowded about the windows, which gave us an op- 
portunity of speaking to them also. He now acknow- 
ledged the justice of his sentence, and was resigned to it, 
having a strong hope of finding mercy. We attended 
him into the yard, when his irons were knocked off 
amid a vast crowd, to whom we spoke much on the 
occasion. Thence we accompanied him to the church, 
and afterward to the cart, which stood at the gate ready 
to receive him. But as he desired to walk between us, 
the sheriff gave him leave, and took much pains to keep 
off the crowd: at the end of the town we sung part ol 
that hymn, — 

O for a thousand tongues to sing 
My great Redeemer's praise! 



MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 187 

During the three first verses he seemed lifted up ; but 
when we came to those words in the fourth verse, 

His blood can make the foulest clean : 
His blood avail'd for me ! 

he rejoiced with joy unspeakable. When we came to 
the place of execution the minister prayed and went 
away. The sheriff allowed us to pray with him again. 
And we committed his soul to God, in cheerful hope of 
meeting him again in Abraham's bosom. 

In the year 1758, being stationed in Newcastle cir- 
cuit, (which then reached as far as Musselborough,) I 
made a visit to Brechin, in my way to which I was 
seized with the bloody flux. As soon as I got home I 
took my room. I was not able to come down stairs 
for a month. My wife was quite a stranger at New- 
castle ; but I could leave her and all things to God. I 
spoke freely to all who came to see me, not letting any 
escape out of my hands. Mr. Blair, the minister, came 
frequently ; and his son, a physician, visited me several 
times a day. It was now^ I discharged the clotted blood 
which had lain in me ever since the riot at Boston. Yet 
I did not recover till I prevailed upon my mother to 
give me a large quantity of toast and w^ater. The dis- 
order was then presently stopped, and in a day or two 
I went down stairs. 

The Sunday following the sacrament was to be ad- 
ministered. 1 sent a line to Mr. Blair, and desired to 
be admitted to it, if it would not offend any of his parish- 
ioners. He immediately sent me a token, saying, " I 
will admit you if they are all offended." I went on 
Sunday, the first day I was abroad. The service lasted 
from nine in the morning to five in the evening ; but I 
received no hurt. The next morning I breakfasted at 
Mr. Blair's, with the minister that assisted at the sacra- 
ment. They were sensible, candid men. Mr. Blair 
desired me to give them an account of the work of God 
in England. But when I mentioned the greatness of the 
work, and the fewness of the labourers, he said, "Among 
so great a number of people there must be many men 
of learning, why does not Mr. W. send them out?" — 
This led me to mention some of the prerequisites of a 

12* 



138 MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 

Methodist preacher: namely, 1. A knowledge of God 
as his God, as having pardoned all his sins. 2. A life 
and conversation suitable thereto. 3. A clear convic- 
tion that he was called of God to the work ; otherwise 
he could not bear the crosses attending it. 4. Some 
fruit of his labour, in convincing and converting of sin- 
ners. Mr. Blair broke out, '^ If these are the prerequi- 
sites of a Methodist preacher, they must not come here 
for them." I preached twice before I left Brechin, to a 
vast concourse of people ; and afterward at Montrose : 
but I know not that it had any lasting effect, unless the 
removing of prejudice. 

In 1759, I was stationed in York circuit, which then 
included Yarm, Scarborough, and Hull circuits. In 
this year the work at Whitby began, and we had a great 
outpouring of the Spirit in many places. The next 
year I was in Staffordshire, where it pleased God to 
work in a very eminent manner : at Darlaston, in par- 
ticular, where there was a small but steady society of 
long standing. Several of these had borne much per- 
secution, and took joyfully the spoiling of their goods. 
Ever since their behaviour has been unblamable; yet 
none of them could say, " I know that my Redeemer 
liveth." Some of these coming over to the prayer meet- 
ings at Wednesbury, and hearing (what they thought 
they had never heard before) that they were to believe 
now ; that they might come to Christ now^, without any 
other qualification than a sense of their own sinfulness 
and helplessness, were utterly astonished ; and they 
began to be amazed at their slowness of heart. Pre- 
sently a prayer meeting was set up at Darlaston. And 
in a little time many souls were set at liberty. The 
oldest stood out longest. After all they had done and 
suffered, they found it hard to come, as having done 
nothing. And when they were urged to it, in a class 
or prayer meeting, they were ready to gnash with their 
teeth. But whether they would hear or forbear, God 
continued to add more and more souls to his genuine 
Gospel. Nothing stood before it. Many of the ser- 
vants and children of these old professors cried out, 
" What must I do to be saved ?" Being pointed to the 
Lamb of God, they believed and rejoiced in God their 



MR. ALEXANDER ^MATHER. 139 

Sariour, to the utter astonishment of then' unbelieving 
masters and parents. In one night it was common to 
see five or six (and sometimes more) praising God for 
his pardoning mercy. And not a few in Birmingham, 
Dudley, and Wolverhampton, as well as in Wednesbury 
and Darlaston, clearly testified that the blood of Jesus 
Christ had cleansed them from all sin. 

Meantime the societies increased greatly. In Dar- 
laston we purchased ground and built a preaching 
house, and in Birmingham we hired a large building. — 
Satan was alarmed at this, and stirred up outward per- 
secution, both at Birmingham and Wolverhampton. But 
it did us no hurt. Our brethren went on, not counting 
their lives dear unto themselves. He then made the 
minds of some of the old Methodists evil affected toward 
their brethren. They began to speak much evil (par- 
ticularly in their classes) of them and of this new doc- 
trine. And any defects in these new converts, (as they 
called them,) were magnified to the uttermost; and 
then brought as an undeniable proof that the whole 
matter was wrong. These were earnestly supported 

by Mr. J • — s, formerly an itinerant, now a local 

preacher. To him they sent every tale that malice 
could invent, either against the work or the instruments 
employed therein ; my wife in particular : whom indeed 
God had been pleased to make eminently useful. This 
embarrassed me a little : however, we went on, and the 
work did not suffer much, till about the time of the 
conference, when some of the preachers, going through 
the circuit, and hearing only one side, (though they 
might have heard both, as I was present,) both privately 
encouraged the opposition, and in their public discourses, 
dividing the people into the new and old believers, used 
many unkind expressions to encourage the old, and dis- 
courage the new believers, as they called them. This 
went hard with one who was not an old preacher, this 
being but the fourth year of my preaching, and the first 
of my acting as an assistant. However, by the grace 
of God, far less hurt was done than might reasonably 
have been expected. As I wrote to you the most mi- 
nute circumstances of the work, and you were there iii 
the very height of it, you judged it best to place me in 



140 MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 

the circuit another year. But I made a false step 
in the beginning of it. Longing for peace, and prefer- 
ring the judgment of other men to my own, I agreed 
that my wife should not hold any more prayer meet- 
ings. Immediately the work began to decay, both as 
to its swiftness and extensiveness. And though I con- 
tinued to insist as strongly as ever upon the same points, 
yet there was not the same effect, for want of seconding, 
by prayer meetings, the blow which was given in preach- 
ing. Mr. Westell laboured with me this year. We 
constantly attended Stroud and Painswick : at both 
places there was a large increase ; as also in several 
other parts of the circuit, w^hich then included Coventry 
and Shrewsbury. 

After having been married near ten years, I had this 
year a son. May he prove a blessing to many, and a 
comfort to his parents ! In May and June you desired 
me to visit Wales, and regulate the societies there. — 
They were all then supplied by Mr. Taylor, w^ho was 
exceedingly useful among them. But the people in ge- 
neral were difficult to get, and more so to keep, in society. 
In many places, however, they joined together, and not 
a few of them remain to this day. 

In 1763, God revived his work in the Staffordshire 
circuit ; especially at Birmingham, notwithstanding the 
disturbance which we constantly had during the preach- 
ing, and the danger of being murdered by the mob when 
we came out of the house. No magistrate could quell 
the rioters ; or rather I should say, none would. For 
it is certain, any magistrate has the power to preserve 
the peace if he will. But at length, Mr. Wortly Birch 
took them in hand : he laid some of the rioters in the 
dungeon, and left them there a night or two to cool. — 
He fined the rest, according to law ; obliged them to 
pay the money dowm, and gave it to the poor. By this 
means their stout spirits were humbled, and we have 
had peace ever since. This year a preaching house 
was built at Stroud, and another at Wolverhampton. 
But this was not long lived ; for soon after the mob as- 
sembled and pulled it down to the ground. They had 
reigned here for a long time, insomuch that it was diffi- 
cult for a Methodist to pass the streets. And now, one 



MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 141 

could hardly appear in them but at the hazard of his 
life. The rioters had broke most of their windows, and 
swore they would pull down their houses, and every 
preaching house near. Hearing of this at Stroud, T. 
rode over immediately and found the whole country in 
terror, as they expected every night the mob from Wol- 
verhampton to pull down the preaching houses at 
Dudley, Darlaston, and Wednesbury, with the houses 
of the Methodists. They first came to Darlaston, a 
place long famous for rioting, hoping to meet with good 
encouragement. But a hog butcher, who lived near the 
house, hearing the alarm, leaped out of bed, seized his 
cleaver, and running out, swore death to the first that 
meddled with it. So unexpected a reception quite dis- 
couraged them, and made them run away faster than 
they came. Here we saw the good effect which the 
late revival had upon the town in general. There were 
few left who would either persecute themselves, or suf- 
fer others to do it. But Wolverhampton itself was still 
in a flame. A friend who was to accompany me to the 
town had procured a pair of pocket pistols, and offered 
me one. But I told him, " No : I am in God's w^ork, 
and trust to his protection. And you must return your 
pistols, or I cannot accept of your company." He did 
so. When I came to the end of the town, the alarm 
was quickly spread ; so that before we came into the 
main street we had company enough. But they were 
restrained, so that w^e received little abuse farther than 
bad language. I immediately went to the justice, who 
granted a w^arrant ; but the constable gave notice of it 
to the rioters, so that none were taken : some fled, some 
hid themselves, and the rest set the justice at defiance. 
This occasioned several neighbouring justices to iix a 
day for meeting in the town. When they met, several 
of the rioters were brought before them. Three were 
bound over to appear at Stafford, where all the magis- 
trates gave attendance. The proof against the rioters 
was full ; yet the honourable jury acquitted them all ! 
This gave them fresh spirits : so they hastened home 
wuth ribands flying, and were saluted with bells and 
.bonfires, in one of which they burned me and my friend 
in effigy. Our friends now found it more dangerous 



142 MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 

than ever to come into the town, or get to their 

houses. Before I left Stafibrd, I waited on Lord D 

with Mr. Hayes, attorney, the person who prepared the 
mob and himself made the first breach in the house. I 
told him plainly, either let Mr. Hayes rebuild the house, 
or we will try him for his hfe. He promised it should 
be rebuilt in such a time, and it was built accordingly. 
So did God deliver us out of this complicated trouble. 
And all the time his work prospered. 

But what could not be done by persecution has been 
done by those who brought in a new doctrine among 
us. This soon checked, and has now well nigh destroy- 
ed, both the root and branch of vital religion. They 
who receive this new light not only despise and speak 
evil of those that begat them to God, but even deny the 
reality of that unspeakable blessing which they then 
received. They say, '' We were then blind and knew 
nothing." Happy ignorance that enabled them to en- 
dure reproach, pain, want ; yea, to carry their lives in 
their hands, counting nothing dear, but to have a con- 
science void of offence toward God and toward man. 

In August, 1770, I was stationed in Bristol circuit. 
Here I met with various exercises. But I was more 
than conqueror, and good was done in Bristol, and in 
several other places, particularly at Bath, where they 
were obliged first to enlarge, and then to gallery the 
preaching house. In the spring I was called to Mon- 
mouth, to open a preaching house, which was duly 
licensed. We preached with tolerable quietness till 
Sunday evening. The church wardens then came be- 
fore me, went in, and shut the doors. Meantime the 
street was all in an uproar : I went on with Mrs. Hern 
and Miss Fortune (my only companions) till we met 
the mob, who opened to the right and left, and let us 
pass to the door. It was shut, but in a while I pre- 
vailed to have it opened. And one of them asked what 
authority I had to preach? I asked who he was ? He 
said, the church warden. " Then you have no authority 
to question me. I shall not show mine but to a proper 
person. And I desire you will either behave well, or 
withdraw." Another said, " Sir, will you show it me ? 
I am the chief constable." I answered, " Sir, I will." 



MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 143 

While he was reading, the church warden looked over 
him and said, ''O sir, this will not do." I said, " Sir, it 
will do for me ; and I require all of you who stay to 
behave in a becoming m.anner. The chief constable 
then withdrew ; but the crowd was so great that they 
could not half get in. And those without were so noisy, 
that nothing could be heard. So after a time I judged 
it best to withdraw. In the evening the mayor sent, 
desiring me to attend him in the morning at the town 
hall. I went. Soon after came the mayor, the clerk 
of the peace, and all the chief men of the town. The 
rector and curate used some harsh words. The other 
gentlemen behaved civilly. But they asked so many 
questions, and spoke so many at a time, it was impossible 
to answer. I said, " Gentlemen, be pleased to speak 
one at a time." But this could not be done. Only they 
all agreed in desiring me to promise that I would come 
no more. I told them, " 1 would make no such promise ; 
no, not if my life depended upon it." So we parted as 
we met, and the next day I got safe to Bristol. 

In 1773, I was stationed at Canterbury. During my 
stay in this circuit we had a fair prospect of doing good 
at Gravesend. The congregations were large, and not 
a few appeared to be much affected. The society in- 
creased, and all things were in a flourishing condition, 
till a poor creature, one George Gould, appeared, who 
at first came as one of our friends. But no sooner had 
he gained the affections of the people, than he pulled off 
the mask and preached Calvinism. And hereby such a 
w^ound was given to the society, as is not healed to this day. 

In the year 1777, 1 was appointed for the Coin circuit. 
It was not long before that the gallery in the preaching 
house, being full of people, had fallen fiat to the ground. 
And though no one was killed, yet some limbs were 
broken, and many poor people bruised. This obliged 
me to travel through many societies, in order to defray 
those large expenses of taking care of those that were 
hurt, and rebuilding the gallery, as well as building and 
furnishing a house for the preacher. But whatever fa- 
tigue I had was abundantly made up by the kindness 
and liberality of our brethren. 

Having prepared the materials for the preaching house 



144 MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 

at Paddiham, the next year, on the first of October, we 
laid the foundation. But a person pretending a claim to 
the ground, when the wall was about a yard high, threw 
a part of it down. We bore this outrage, and proceeded 
in the work. This emboldened him to engage three ma- 
sons, who came in the night, when the roof was on, wrest- 
ed out the sides of both doors with the lintels, with a 
yard of the wall above. They broke the sides of the two 
large windows, near three feet on each side ; they then 
made a large hole in the pillar between the two window^s, 
intending to throw down the house. But suddenly such 
a panic seized them, that first one and then the other 
stopped short and ran away. These returned no more. 
But their employer, with the third man, resolved to finish 
their work. Presently he was himself struck with a fear 
of being killed, and ran away, dragging his fellow with him. 
Being averse to law, we bore this also : but we set a watch 
on the house every night, till it was covered in and licensed, 
in hopes we should then be quiet. But on December the 
21st, he brought two men at eleven in the forenoon, with 
a pickaxe and a crow, and directed them to begin atone 
of the doors, which was not quite repaired. The work- 
men stood amazed, but several of the townsmen quickly 
came to the place, two of whom were remarkably weak 
men, and one of them lame beside. One laid hold of 
the pickaxe, and one of the crow. They that held them 
were stout men, the terror of the country. Many took 
part on each side. I was in my room, and at first thought 
not to stir out. But fearing mischief might be done, I 
sent for a constable, and myself walked to the chapel. 
The young man was struggling with him that held the 
pickaxe, to whom I spoke, and he promised to be quiet. 
Meantime some took the crow from the other man, 
which their employer observing, struck a lad that helped 
them ; he returned the blow ; a battle ensued, wherein 
the gentleman was ^vorsted, and rolled in the dirt. — 
Finding there was no other w^ay, I procured a warrant 
from sergeant Aspinwall, for the chief rioters. This 
was served immediately. The next morning we waited 
upon him at his house, and he bound them all over to the 
assizes. But I recollecting that Mr. W — n had said 
before the sergeant, he was willing to refer the whole affair 



MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 145 

to him, I sent him word, " I was willing too ;" and de- 
sired him to name the time and place. But he would 
do neither. After preaching at Millend, in the evening, 
I went to bed ; but my sleep departed from me. How- 
ever, I rose as usual ; but before I went out of my room 
I heard a knocking at the door. It was one from Pad- 
diham, who mournfully cried out, " O, sir, we are all 
ruined ! Mr. W — n has got a warrant for seven and 
twenty of us, and you are the first in it. We must be 
all at the sergeant's by noon." I told him, " I would be 
there." As soon as I came I saw Mr. W — n just going 
into the yard ; I followed him close, to the great joy of 
my friends. We were near forty in number. The ser- 
geant coming to the door, I asked, " Why I was sum- 
moned ?" He answered, " For a riot." I said, " Sir, 
you cannot but know Mr. W. has done this out of mere 
litigiousness. But why should we trouble the whole 
country with our affairs? Cannot we settle it between 
ourselves?" To this Mr. W. agreed. So, as we had no 
bonds of arbitration ready, we both signed a memoran- 
dum to the same eflect. The poor people then went home, 
in peace. After some difficulties the bonds were signed, 
and, after hearing all parties, the sergeant's sentence 
was, 1. That the ground (part of which we had pur- 
chased) should be equally divided between us and Mr. 
W.; and, 2. That he should pay us five pounds for the 
damage he had done. Thus we were at length delivered 
out of our trouble, and peace re-established at Paddiham. 

What I may meet with hereafter, I know not : I can 
only say, I find it in my heart to spend and be spent for 
God, in promoting his glory and the salvation of men. 
To that end I am determined still to preach the whole 
Methodist doctrine, and to see that the discipline to 
which God has led us, be executed in all its branches. 
I see more and more, that where it is not executed, 
little lasting good is done. I know this is not the way 
of ease, nor the way to popularity. But as I set out 
without a view to either, so I hope to continue, by the 
grace of God. 

I remain your aflfectionate and dutiful son in the 
Gospel. Alexander Mather. 

13 



146 MR. ALEXANDER MATHER, 

After reading and considering the foregoing accounfi 
I observed to Mr. Mather that he had wholly omitted 
one considerable branch of his experience, touching 
what is properly termed, The great salvation. He wrote 
me a full and particular answer, the substance of which 
I have subjoined. John Wesley. 

" I answer, 1. With regard to the time and place, it 
was at Rotherham, in the year 1757, that I enjoyed it in 
a far larger degree than I ever did before or do now. Al- 
though my situation the next year laid many hinderances 
in the way, yet I both preached it plainly, and strongly 
encouraged those that had before experienced it, and 
such as professed to receive it at that time, either at 
Sunderland or elsewhere. This I continued to do in '59 
and 60 ; in which time many w^ere made partakers of it, 
in York, at and near Pocklington, in Hull, and various 
other places. It was the enjoyment of this which sup- 
ported me in the trials I met with at Wednesbury in the 
two following years, during which many were added to 
the witnesses of it in Birmingham, Dudley, Darlaston, 
Wolverhampton, and Wednesbury. It was my own ex- 
perience which emboldened me to assert it, even where 
it was opposed by our chief members, partly because of 
the faults of some that professed it ; but chiefly because 
of the natural enmity of their own hearts to God. 

" What I had experienced in my own soul was an in- 
stantaneous deliverance from all those wrong tempers 
and affections which I had long and sensibly groaned 
under ; an entire disengagement from every creature, 
with an entire devotedness to God; and from that mo- 
ment I found an unspeakable pleasure in doing the will 
of God in all things. I bad also a power to do it, and 
the constant approbation both of my own conscience and 
of God. I had simplicity of heart, and a single eye to 
God, at all times and in all places, with such a fervent 
zeal for the glory of God and the good of souls as swal- 
lowed up every other care and consideration. Above all, 
I had uninterrupted communion with God, whether sleep- 
ing or waking. O that it were with me as when the can- 
dle of the Lord shone upon my head ! While I call it to 
my mind, my soul begins to wing its way toward that 



MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 147 

immediate enjoyment of God. May it never be retarded, 
but press into the glorious liberty which is equally free 
for all the sons of God. 

" As to the manner wherein this work was wrought, 
1 . After I was clearly justified, I was soon made sensible 
of my want of it. For although I was enabled to be very 
circumspect, and had a continual powder over outward 
and inward sin, yet I felt in me what I knew was con- 
trary to the mind which was in Christ, and what hindered 
me from enjoying and glorifying him, as I saw it was the 
privilege of a child of God to do. And such I knew my- 
self to be, both from the fruit and the witness of his 
Spirit, which I felt in a strong degree, supporting me in 
conflicts of a very close and particular nature. 2. My 
conviction of the need of a farther change was abun- 
dantly increased by the searching preaching of Mr. 
Walsh, of blessed memory. This kept my conscience 
very tender, even to a degree of scrupulosity ; and helped 
me to be much in private prayer, and kept me watching 
thereunto. 3. When I saw my call to preach, the diffi- 
culties attending that office showed me more and more 
the need of such a change, that I might bear all things : 
and by searching the Scriptures I saw the possibility of 
it more clearly, and was stirred up to seek it more 
earnestly. 4. When I began travelling I had no end, 
aim, or design, but to spend and be spent for God : not 
counting my life, or any thing dear, so I might finish my 
course w^th joy, which indeed I expected would be very 
short, as " I dealt my life at every blow\" I saw as 
clearly as I do now, that nothing furthers that end so 
much as a heart and life wholly devoted to God. 

'• This made me neglect the advantage I had in my 
youth, of a tolerable acquaintance with Latin, which I 
could easily have recovered ; but this and every other 
gain I counted but loss, that I might win that intimacy 
with God which I still think to be the life of preaching. 
Therefore I husbanded all the time that I could save 
from company, eating, or sleeping, to lay out in wrestling 
with God for myself and the flock : so I devoted to God 
some part of every leisure hour, over and above the 
hour from eleven to twelve in the forenoon, and from 
four to five in the afternoon. Herein I was sweetly 



148 MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 

drawn after God, and had many and large views of that 
salvation which I wanted, and which he had provided in 
his Son. The exceeding great and precious promises 
were clearly opened to me. And having a full assurance 
of the power and faithfulness of the promiser, my soul 
often tasted of their sweetness. And though unbelief pre- 
vented my immediate possession, yet I had a blessed fore- 
taste of them. This made me desire the full enjoyment 
more and more. I abhorred whatever seemed to keep 
me from it. I sought out every obstruction. I was willing 
to offer up every Isaac, and inflamed with great ardour 
in wrestling wath God ; determined not to let him go till 
he emptied me of all sin, and filled me with himself. 

" This I believe he did w^hen I ventured upon Jesus as 
sufficient to save to the uttermost. He wrought in me 
what I cannot express ; what I judge it is impossible to 
utter. Yet I was not long without reasoning ; not con- 
cerning the work ; of this I was absolutely sure ; but 
whether such and such things as I soon discovered in 
myself were consistent with it. And this had its use, as 
it qualified me to advise others, who, though saved from 
sin, were tried in the same way. 

" Upon this head I consulted Mr. Walsh, and his ad- 
vice helped me in some degree. But God helped me 
much more in private prayer : herein I was clearly sa- 
tisfied, I. That deliverance from sin does not imply de- 
liverance from human infirmities. 2. That neither is it 
inconsistent with feeling our natural appetites, or with 
the regular gratification of them : and 3. Thart salvation 
from sin is not inconsistent with temptations of various 
kinds. And all this you have clearly and fully declared 
in the ' Plain Account of Christian Perfection.' 

" I have only to observe that while my soul was follow^- 
ing hard after God, I had frequent temptations to resume 
my Latin, and learn the other languages ; especially when 
I observed some of my brethren who had made some pro- 
gress therein, though they had not the same advantages 
with me. But the comfort I found in spending all my time 
as above, and the thought that however this might recom- 
mend them to some hearers, yet they were not hereby 
more instrumental than before, either in awakening, con- 
verting, or building up souls, made me quite easy about 



MR. ALEXANDER MATHER. 149 

t. This I have considered as the onlj^ business and pecu- 
liar glory of a Methodist preacher. Not that I think our 
brethren, who have made this progress, have not been 
useful in these respects ; but I think they are not more 
useful than they were w^hen they were strangers to these 
things. And I doubt w^hether they are so useful as they 
might have been, had they employed the same time, the 
same diligence, and the same intenseness of thought, in 
the several branches of that work for which they willingly 
gave up all. For my own part, I w^ant to feel the same prin- 
ciple ever actuating me which I felt the moment I set out. 
'' Upon the whole, I find abundant cause to praise God 
for the support he has given me under various trials, and 
the wonderful deliverance from them. I praise him for 
so preserving me from impatience in them, that the enemy 
liad no room to speak reproachfully. In all, he has given 
me free access to the throne of grace ; often with a strong 
confidence of deliverance. I bless God that the trials I 
liave met with, even from my brethren, have never given 
me an inclination to decline the work ; nor, for any time 
together, to be less active in any branch of it. I always 
considered I had nothing which I had not received, and 
that the design of the Giver was, that all should be used 
with singleness of heart to please God and not man. I 
praise him, that though some of the affairs I have been 
engaged in, being quite new^ to me, so deeply employed 
my thoughts as sometimes to divert me from that degree 
of communion with God in which is my only happiness, 
and without which my soul can never be at rest ; yet he 
^ves me always to see that the fulness of the promise 
is every Christian's privilege ; and that this, and every 
branch of salvation, is to be received now by faith alone. 
And it can only be retained by the same means ; by be- 
lieving every moment. We cannot rest on any thing that 
has been done, or that may be done hereafter. This 
would keep us from living a life of faith, which I conceive 
to be no other than the now deriving virtue from Jesus, by 
which we enjoy and live to God. My soul is often on 
stretch for the full enjoyment of this, without interrup- 
tion, nor can I discharge my conscience without urging 
it upon all believers now to come unto Him uho is able 
to save unto the uttermost ! " A. M." 

13* 



150 MR. BENJAMIN RHODES. 



MR. BENJAMIN RHODES. 



TO THE REV. JOHN WESLEY. 

April 20, 1779, 
Rev. Sir, — I was born at Kexborough, a little town 
in the West-Riding of Porkshire, in the year 1743. My 
father, who taught a school in the town, had the external 
parts of religion before he heard the Methodists : he used 
family and private prayer, read the Scriptures and other 
books of devotion in his family daily, and frequently in- 
structed, exhorted, and catechized his children. By this 
discipline we were restrained from many evils, taught 
the fear of the Lord, and, in some measure, to seek that 
which is good. Before I was eleven years of age, I 
went with my father to Birstal to hear Mr. Whitfield. 
I found my soul deeply affected under the word. At 
first I had a kind of terror ; but before the sermon was 
ended my heart was melted into tenderness and sweetly 
drawn after God ; yet, a few months after this, a pro- 
pensity to foolish pleasures sprung up in my breast and 
drew me into childish vanities. About twelve years of 
age I took a walk one evening into a large, thick wood,- 
not far from the town. I left the path, and wandered 
in the thickest part of it, till I was entirely lost. Night 
began to close in upon me, and I did not know which 
way to turn my face toward home. It soon became 
quite dark ; I then gave over rambling, and intended to 
have remained there till morning, when I hoped to find 
my way out. In this situation I found my former im- 
pressions begin to return with much sweetness. My soul 
w^as drawn out in prayer ; I was deeply sensible of the 
presence of God : my heart overflowed with penitential 
tenderness, and under a deep sense of my own unwor- 
thiness, and of his goodness, mercy, and love, I sung and 
prayed with much fervour ; yea, I was so thankful that 
the Lord had found me, while lost in a wood, that I 
would not for all the world have missed such an oppor-^ 
tunity. My parents, being alarmed at my not returning. 



MR. BENJAMIN RHODES. 151 

at the usual time, made great search for me. At last 
my father came to the wood side and called aloud : I 
soon heard him, and following the sound, got out about 
midnight without receiving any hurt. The impressions 
I received this night lasted for some time ; but youthful 
pleasure again prevailed, and drew me into such follies 
as grieved the Spirit of God, and greatly damped the 
fervour of my own spirits. 

I was chiefly at home with my father, till I was sixteen 
years of age, and mostly attended the school. I had great 
opportunities of improvement, both in learning and reli- 
gion, but my volatile spirit did not love study and con- 
finement: the love of pleasure prevailed over my judg- 
ment; and, though my vain enjoyments were rendered 
very painful, from my father's displeasure, and the ter- 
rors of my conscience, yet my attachments to them 
made me careless about things profitable, and prevented 
such an improvement as might have been made. About 
this time my father put me out to learn some branches 
in the wool and worsted business. His chief motive in 
placing me where he did, was, that I might be under the 
means of grace : and though I attended the preaching 
constantly, heartily believed the doctrine, and often felt 
the power of the word, yet I was so much taken up 
with pleasure, and those companions who led me from 
seriousness and religion, that at last, as with a flood, I 
>vas carried away ; not indeed into gross sins, (for I do 
not remember that I ever swore one oath or took God's 
name into my mouth upon a light occasion,) but into 
foolish company, gayety, and youthful vanities. But in 
my foolish career I was like the troubled sea ; the more 
I sought to please myself in vanity, the farther I was 
from it ; and sometimes my conscience terrified me al- 
most to distraction, so that I have been afraid to sleep, 
lest I should awake in endless miseiy. All this time my 
understanding was clearly informed respecting the na- 
ture and necessity of rehgion, and I felt great reverence 
for it. None can tell the struggles I had in my breast 
between my conscience and my inclinations ; sometimes 
one, and sometimes the other was obeyed. I knew I 
could not be truly religious without parting with all that 
is contrary to seriousness, and without having the bent 



152 MR. BENJAMIN RHODES. ^ 

of my mind turned from vanity to God. Neither did 1 
make any pretensions to it, as I had not a fixed deter- 
mination to forsake all and follow Christ. 

When I was about nineteen I thought myself most 
miserablev I was quite sick of vanity, and so burdened 
with a sense of it on my conscience, that I could not 
find rest day or night. I then began to think on the 
mercy and goodness of God, which had been so abun- 
dantly made manifest to me in times past ; but my follies 
so reproached me that I was ashamed to look up. I 
then found a wiUingness to be saved in God's way ; and, 
groaning in my bondage, prayed, "Turn thou me, O 
Lord, and I shall be turned.^' The Lord heard, and 
turned the whole desire of my heart from every thing 
earthly unto himself : it was then I found such relent- 
ings of soul as I had not done before. Nothing affected 
me more than a sense of God's long-suffering, mercy, 
and goodness ; that, after I had so often refused his calls, 
quenched his Spirit, and abused his blessings, yet I no 
sooner cried to him than he heard and delivered me 
from the servitude of sin, and encouraged me to hope in 
his mercy. My whole heart was then given up to him. 
Prayer was now my chief business ; and I often sung, 
very feelingly,-— 

"Wealth and honour I disdain, 
Earthly comforts all are vain ; 
These can never satisfy ; 
Give me Christ, or else I die. 

In this state I continued several months, desiring and 
seeking God alone, without much interruption or tempta- 
tion. About this time I was invited to a p*rivate meeting 
among the Calvinists. The minister spoke much of the 
power of imagination, and what a deluded people the 
Methodists were, and warned his flock not to come near 
them. I was greatly bewildered and terrified at this. I 
began to suspect that my call to rehgion and the change 
in my mind were only delusions. I was also tempted 
to think that all who professed religion were like my- 
self. I was carried so far as to doubt of Christianity 
and of the being of a God I I thought the greatest part 
of the world consisted of heathens, Mohammedans, and 
Jews ; the popish religion is almost as idolatrous as the 



MR. BENJAMIN RHODES. 153 

pagan ; there are but few Protestant Christians ; and 
but very few of these who act consistent with the doc- 
trines of Christianity. These thoughts increased my in- 
fidelity till I was almost distracted. Darkness and horror 
sat brooding upon my mind, together with a gloomy fear 
of falling into nothing, or w^orse than nothing, at death. 
I had no power to pray : I only wished for a dark re- 
treat where I might converse with darkness and misery 
alone. In this '' horrible pit" I groaned for deliverance, 
yet was not sensible of a deliverer near. At last I found 
power to look up; my heart began to melt, and the 
spirit of prayer returned ; I cried, and the Lord heard. 
The darkness began to disperse; hope again visited my 
soul ; yea, it increased, attended with a degree of con- 
fidence in God, till the Sun of righteousness arose with 
healing in his wings. I beheld the Lamb of God who 
taketh away the sins of the world ; and had such a sense 
of the sufficiency of his atonement as I had not had be- 
fore, with a conviction that I was interested therein. 
All my fears and doubts disappeared : I found the peace 
of God : his love was manifested to me, which caused 
me to love him again. Joy and gratitude now so pos- 
sessed my heart that my cup was ready to run over ; 
and my soul, being freed from all its bondage, said, 
" God is become my salvation." Now my infidel fears 
were gone, and the truths of Christianity appeared to me 
in the clearest light. Not only my understanding saw, 
but all my powers /eZ^, the truth thereof. I had a deep 
sense of a present God, whom I approached, in the 
name of Jesus, with reverential awe, confidence, grati- 
tude, and love : and could call him, " My God and my 
all." In this happy season my joy frequently prevented 
ray sleep, while my soul was taken up with Him who is 
altogether lovely ; and in ecstasies of joy, in the stillness 
of the night, I often sung my great Deliverer's praise- 
All things earthly appeared so empty that I thought 
nothing here below worth a thought, only as it tended to 
promote my eternal interest : I only desired grace and 
glory. I then began to conclude that my adversaries 
were quite overthrow^n ; and that I had only to march 
forward, and take possession of the " land of promise ;" 
I therefore pressed forward, rejoicing for some months. 



154 MR, BENJAMIN RHODES. 

At length, through unwatchfulness and giving way to 
levity, my comforts gradually diminished, till imper- 
ceptibly I was again drawn into a wilderness state ; and 
though I was diligent in the outward means, yet I had 
lost the pleasing sensations which I formerly had found 
therein. 

About this time I was strongly beset by some Calvin- 
ists, who used all the arguments in their power to draw 
me into the belief of their doctrines. I was almost per- 
suaded to believe " final perseverance," only I did not 
see how I could separate it from reprobation ; I wished 
to do it, but could not. I thought, if these must neces- 
sarily be saved on whom God begins a good work, then 
the rest must as necessarily be damned on whom he does 
not begin it. When I considered final perseverance as 
it related to myself only, it appeared so pleasant that I 
could hardly resist it : but when I considered it as a 
branch of the doctrines of unconditional election and re- 
probation, it gave me pain, and inclined me to renounce 
it. Reprobation appeared to me quite contrary to the 
%vhole purport of Scripture; the nature of a holy, just, 
and merciful God ; the state of man as an accountable 
creature ; and to a future judgment, where rewards and 
punishments will be dispensed to every man according to 
his works. However, my lot being cast among those who 
held the decrees, I frequently heard the chief arguments 
that are used in support thereof. Sometimes their argu- 
ments appeared so plausible that I began to stagger in my 
mind, and to be much distressed : I then made it a subject 
of prayer ; and one night, after I had been wrestling with 
God that he would lead me into all truth, I dreamed of 
reading a passage of Scripture which gave me entire 
satisfaction. I could not remember the passage in the 
morning ; but on opening my Bible, the first words I cast 
my eyes upon were, " The Lord is not slack concerning 
his promise, as some men count slackness ; but is long- 
sufFering to us-ward, not willing that a7iy should perish, 
but that all should come to repentance." 2 Peter, iii. 9. 
Such light and conviction attended the words, as removed 
every doubt of God's loving all mankind ; and, from that 
day to this, my mind has been established in the com- 
fortable doctrines of general redemption. But though I 



MR. BENJAMIN RHODES. 155 

was fixed as to doctrines, yet I did not find, as formerly, 
such a sweet intercourse with heaven ; and foolish de- 
sires began to rise again which formerly seemed to be 
dead. I had also very powerful temptations ; and 
earthly attachments prevailed too far upon my affections. 
Yet the hand of the Lord was over me for good, and pre- 
served me from the dangers to which I was exposed. 

When I was about the age of twenty-one, I heard Mr. 
Jaco preach on Heb. xii, 1. He insisted on the necessity 
of laying aside every weight, and the sin which so easily 
besets us, in order to our running the Christian race. I 
saw the necessity of it, and was again stirred up ; and 
the Lord once more set me at liberty from every entan- 
glement. In a short time my former comforts returned 
with more solidity; and my understanding was abun- 
dantly matured in the knowledge of the Christian war- 
fare. About this time I was desired to lead several 
classes. I found those meetings were both solemn and 
profitable to myself and others. The first quarter several 
found a sense of forgiveness ; and others were greatly 
stirred up. I was also desired to speak a word of exhor- 
tation ; this also I complied with. I now soon found 
work enough, as many came to hear w^hat I had got to 
say. Indeed I have often stood up to speak to a large 
congregation when I would rather have undergone al- 
most any punishment. However, the Lord gave strength 
according to my day ; for when I have begun to speak, 
my fear and trembhng were quite taken away, and I fre- 
quently found much freedom in speaking ; and I have 
reason to believe that the Lord rendered my w^eak labours 
useful ; for some were turned from their wickedness to 
God ; some converted ; and many stirred up to press for- 
ward. On a Sunday I usually preached at several neigh- 
bouring towns, and sometimes visited them on the week 
days. 

As the conference drew near, Mr. Jaco asked me if I 
was willing to travel, suppose there should be a want 
of preachers. I found much reluctance to this, arising 
from a sense of my insufficiency ; and I had such a love 
to the people w^here I was, that the thought of leaving 
them gave me great pain ; yet I desired not to be govern- 
ed by my own inchnation, but by the providence of God. 



156 MR. BENJAMIN RHODES. 

At the conference held at Leeds, 1766, I was desired 
to take a circuit, to which I consented. I set out in the 
twenty-third year of my age, and went into the Norwich 
circuit, where I stayed two years. The Lord was pleased 
to own my poor labours here in the conviction and con- 
version of several souls. At the conference in London, 
1767, 1 was taken into full connection. My second cir- 
cuit was in Oxfordshire, where I stayed two years. In 
that time the work of the Lord was enlarged abundantly. 
My next remove was to Canterbury, where I stayed one 
year. While I was here, my father died ; since then I have 
been much in the north, to be near my mother and sisters. 
My next remove was into Lincolnshire, where I stayed 
two years among a poor people, who received the word 
gladly. We got into some new places ; and in other re- 
spects God gave me some fruit of my labours. From hence 
I went to Hull and Scarborough, where I stayed three 
years. Here we raised several new societies, and in seve- 
ral parts of the circuit the work prospered. I next went 
to Newcastle-upon-Tyne, where I stayed only one year. 
Here I had many profitable opportunities, and had also 
the pleasure of seeing some fruits of my labours. From 
hence I went to Alnwick and Donbar, where I laboured 
one year. I had much riding here ; but being among a 
people whom I loved, and with whom I laboured com- 
fortably, I thought little of fatigues. I am now in Sussex 
and Kent. Since I came into these parts I have lost a 
sister and mother, who, I believe, are both gone after my 
father into Abraham's bosom ; but I am left behind, almost 
the only person out of a large family. But how long or 
how short my stay maybe, I leave to unerring wisdom : 
one only concern ought to possess me, to employ it as I 
ought ; then, at the close of it, I also shall sleep m peace ; 
and after a short absence, be with my dear departed 
friends ! 

Thrice happy meeting ! 
Nor time, nor death shall ever part us more. 

I am thankful to God that he ever called me to this 
blessed work; as by this means I have gained more 
strength to my own soul ; have been of some use to my 
fellow creatures ; have had an opportunity of knowing a 



MR. THOMAS TENNANT. 157 

little of the world, and of the state of religion among the 
Methodists and others : all which I judge to be more 
than a reward for what I have done and suffered. At 
present there is nothing so precious to me as religion 
and the cause of God : and my principal desire is to fill 
up my little sphere, that when I am called to give an 
account, I may do it with joy, and not with sorrow. 
I am. Rev, sir, your ajflfectionate son in the Gospel, 

Benjamin Rhode's. 



MR. THOMAS TENNANT, 



to the rev. JOH^ WESLEY. 

July 1, 1779. 
Rev. and Dear Sir, — I was born in London, in the 
year 1741. My father came from Norfolk, and my 
mother from Cambridgeshire. They were very honest 
and well meaning persons, and constantly attended the 
service of the Church, but, I fear, knew not the power 
of religion. Shortly after they came to London, they 
saw Mr. Whitefield preaching to a great multitude in 
Moorfields. As they had never seen or heard of him 
before, they stared with great astonishment. What he 
said made some impression on them, and they frequent- 
ly heard him till he left England : but when he went to 
Georgia they were at a loss what to do, till one told 
them they might hear the same kind of preaching at the 
Foundry : my father went and heard you, sir ; but the 
first time he did not understand it ; but after awhile he 
understood you very well ; and both he and my mother 
w^ere truly awakened. Presently after they were ad- 
mitted into the society, which they counted a very great 
privilege, and continued therein, serving God and his 
people as long as they lived. As to myself, I had con- 
victions of sin from my childhood. But, as I grew up, 
I endeavoured to get rid of them, which was partly efiect- 
ed: but I could not shake off the fear of death. I some- 
times tried to comfort myself with the thought that death 
was only my common lot among the rest of manldnd ; 

14 



158 MR. THOMAS TENNANT. 

but if I apprehend it near I was terrified beyond expres- 
sion. One Sunday afternoon, when I had sauntered up 
and down St. James' Park, I went into Westminster 
Abbey, not for devotion, but to pass away time. I had 
not been there long before I was struck with a horrible 
dread ! My sins were set in array against me ! I has- 
tened out of the church, but did not expect to get home 
alive. I seemed ready to expire, and was to my own 
apprehension, 

Condemn'd the second death to feel, 
Arrested by the pains of hell ! 

I cried to the Lord in an agony of fear, who heard 
me from his holy place, and came to my deliverance. 
My dread and horror were in a measure removed ; and 
I resolved never more to spend any part of the Sabbath 
in merely seeking my own pleasure. When I was 
about fourteen years of age my father put me out to a 
person who feared God : while I was with him I had 
frequent visitations from God, and felt the drawings of 
his blessed Spirit, though I too often resisted them. 
However, I became more serious, which was increased 
by two severe fits of illness. Before this I had been 
exceedingly fond of going to plays ; yet never went 
without a dread upon my spirits. When I was there I 
always seemed as one treading on forbidden ground ; 
and particularly one night, when two persons were tram- 
pled to death in crowding up the same passage which I 
had but just before got up. I also took great delight in 
reading plays ; for which purpose I collected a number 
of the best I could meet with, and often pleased myself 
and my companions with the repetition of some of the 
most striking passages in them. But I found nothing 
of this kind could give me any real happiness, and was 
constrained to say. This also is vanity ! It will not 
satisfy an immortal spirit, it will not ease a wounded 
mind ! At last, from a full conviction of this, I com- 
mitted all my plays to the flames, and determined to 
spend my leisure hours in reading more profitable books. 
I therefore read your appeal to men of reason and reli- 
gion with much satisfaction. Yet, on reading the for- 
mer part of your sermon entitled " The Almost Chris- 
tian," I was quite distressed, and ready to give up all 



MR. THOMAS TENNANT. 159 

hope. I thought this almost Christian leaves me so far 
behind, that to be quite a Christian seems impossible to 
me. But when I had turned over the next leaf, and 
saw wha: was necessary to make a true Christian, viz., 
" the love c: God," my heart was softened, and my 
hopes revived. I said, " This is rehgion ; this is Chris- 
tianity indeed ! And this, Lord, is the very thing I 
want ! O give me this love, and I shall be satisfied, 
and all within me shall bless thy name !" Frequently, 
when I have heard you preaoh, I thought you appeared 
as with a sword drawn in youi' hand, with which you 
cleft me asunder. At such times the word was indeed 
quick and powerful, piercing and wounding my inmost 
soul ; it was indeed a discerner of the thoughts and in- 
tents of my heart : but it still left me witnout comfort 
to bewail my wretched condition. Thus I went on till 
my burthen grew too heavy to be borne. I mourned 
all the day long. My distress was very great, and I 
wanted to speak to some experienced person ; but being 
naturally very close and reserved,* I could not break 
through. I was glad indeed when one asked me to go 
to a meeting of Christian friends ; but when I came to 
the door, and heard them singing, I had such an idea 
both of their goodness and of my own unworthiness, 
that I durst not presume to go in : therefore I walked 
back again with a heavy heart. Some time after this I 
joined the society ; but for a long while durst not ven- 
ture to go to the Lord's table. One Sunday 1 was de- 
termined to go ; but when I approached, my heart 
failed me, and I went back without receiving; but, 
through the distress of my mind, my legs were scarce 
able to support me ; and, being filled with fear, guilt, 
and shame, I trembled exceedingly : however, at last, 
as a poor, weary, heavy laden sinner, who had nothing 
to plead but, ^' God be merciful to me for Christ's sake," 
I ventured to eat of that bread, and drink of that cup. 
Just before I came up to the table, these words were 
deeply impressed upon my mind, — 

Cover'd with thy blood we are, 
Find a part that does not arm, 
And strike the sinner there. 

This inspired me with such courage that I kneeled down 



160 MR. THOMAS TENNANT. 



^f 



f 



with a strong hope that I should not be a victim to 
God's justice, but a monument of his mercy : and when 
Dr. J. gave me the bread and wine, I was enabled to 
believe that Christ died for me, and was filled with peace 
in the Holy Ghost. I rose from the table with a glad 
heart, greatly rejoicing in God my Saviour. After this 
I walked in the loving fear of the Lord, and in the com- 
forts of the Holy Ghost. I found great sweetness in 
the word; yea, and in all the other means of grace. 
Indeed some of the most delightful moments of my 
whole life were spent in waiting upon God in his ordi- 
nances. I enjoyed great tranquillity of spirit, being de- 
livered from my guilty, tormenting fears of death and 
hell. When I laid my body down to rest, I could re- 
pose my soul as on the bosom of Jesus, and say, — 

What if death my sleep invade ! 
Shall I be of death afraid ? 
While encircled by thine arm, 
Death may strike, but cannot harm. 
What if,>b9ams of opening day 
Shine around my breathless clay, 
Brighter visions from on high 
Shall regale my mental eye. 

Meantime I found an earnest desire to live to the glo- 
ry of God, together with much love to precious souls. 
And hence I found a desire of preaching ; on mention- 
ing which, I was desired to go with a friend, who occa- 
sionally exhorted a few people at a house in St. George's 
Fields. At his request I ventured to speak a few words 
to them, and found freedom of spirit. 

About this time I had a great desire to travel with 
you, sir. When you was informed of it, you was so 
kind as to consent to it. So I had the pleasure of ac- 
companying you from March, 1770, to the August fol- 
lowing, when I was admitted on trial as a travelling 
preacher, and appointed for the Newcastle circuit 

I believe very few, if any, of our preachers set out 
with so little courage : the depression of spirit I laboured 
imder was nearly insupportable ; and if it had not been 
for the affection and tenderness of my good friend, Mr, 
Jaco, who was at that time tbe assistant, I must have 
sunk under the burden. The loving, sensible people I 
laboured among, were also very kind to me, and bore 



MR. THOMAS TENNANT. 161 

with nie, though I was with them in weakness, fear, and 
much trembling. 

The next conference I was sent into Lincolnshire, 
where I met with many trials, having both the inward 
and outward cross to bear. Afterward I was near a 
year among the poor loving people at Colchester, and I 
hope my labour was not in vain. From thence I went 
to Bradforth, in Yorkshire, and the year following to 
Newcastle again. I had now a little more courage 
than when I was there before ; and, I trust, was more 
useful to the people : and from that time I have travel- 
led with more satisfaction than ever I did before. 

At present I find a thankful heart for the mercies of 
a gracious God, and desire to devote myself unreserved- 
ly to his service. Indeed it is comfortable to me to re- 
flect, that '^ God is love ;" that " he was in Christ recon- 
ciling the word unto himself;" that Christ Jesus "gave 
himself a ransom for all f that " he tasted death for 
every man ;" that " he is the propitiation for the sins of 
the whole world :" and I have often wondered how any 
man of sense, who has tasted that the Lord is gracious, 
can use arguments in opposition to this. But as to the 
dispute concerning these points, I very seldom mention 
it in public : never, unless my subject naturally leads 
to it ; and even then, I do it in as few and as calm 
w^ords as possible : for I am quite convinced that a 
thousand exclamations and assertions, be they ever so 
vehemently delivered, will not amount to one argument 
on either side the question. But what I wish above all 
things is, that I may increase in the knowledge and love 
of God, and be more holy, happy, and useful every day 
of my life. Nevertheless, I am truly thankful for, and 
profited by the superior talents and labours of any of 
my brethren, who are more particularly called to ex- 
plain and defend these glorious truths, which I have al- 
ways believed. 

Upon the whole, as far as I know myself, I love the 
Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity ; and if he is pleased to 
continue to use, in any degree, me, his w^eak, unworthy 
creature, I shall be unfeignedly thankful, and hope to 
give him all the praise in time and in eternity. 

I am, Rev. and dear sir, as ever, your dutiful son and 
servant, Thomas Tennant. 

14* 



162 MR. WILLIAM UVnrEti, 

MR. WILLIAM HUNTER 



TO THE REV. JOHN WESLEY. 

August 18, 1779. 

Rev. and Dear Sir,— According to your desire, I 
take this opportunity to write a little of the dealings of 
God with me : but as I have not kept any account in 
writing, many things have slipped my mind. I was 
born in Northumberland, a little village near Placey, 
in the year 1728. I was put to school early, and taught 
to read the Scriptures from a child ; but delighted most 
in the historical parts of them. I felt a degree of the 
fear of God when very young, and sweet drawings of 
love. But sometimes the thoughts of death were very 
dreadful to me, so that I felt very unhappy. I once 
dreamed that Satan came to me, and would have me : 
when I waked, I was full of fear, and prayed mnch 
that I might be delivered from him ; and the impressions 
abode upon my mind for many days : but, as I had no- 
body to teach me the right way of coming to Christ, 
these good impressions gradually wore off. 

When I was about fourteen, my father being a far- 
mer I was put to learn all the branches of farming. 
My father was very severe with me, and I dreaded him 
very much : and yet I was often guilty of much diso- 
bedience against him ; for which I have been much 
ashamed before the Lord. The first time you came to 
Placey, I, with several of my father's family, came to 
hear you : some of my brothers were much taken with 
you, and, I trust, will have cause to bless God for it for 
ever. When I was about sixteen I heard Mr. Hopper : 
as soon as he began to speak, his words affected me 
deeply, not with terror, but with love : I had a taste of 
heaven : it seemed as though I was created anew r 
there was a wonderful change in my tempers and con- 
duct ; I laid aside every thing that I thought was con- 
trary to the will of God, and practised all religious du- 
ties, I attended preaching on all occasions, and felt 
much sweetness therein, and love to those that I be- 
lieved were devoted to God. I went on in this way for 



MR. WILLIAM HUNTER. 163 

some time, till my companions began to take notice of 
me, and call me a Methodist. Some of them set upon 
me one Sunday, and cursed and swore bitterly at me, 
telling me I was going to leave the Church and the re- 
ligion I was brought up in. This had a strange effect 
upon me ; I gave way to them : they prevailed upon 
me to go to the alehouse: there I was overtaken by 
my old sins again. The Spirit of the Lord departed 
from me ; my heart became as hard as a stone. Dark- 
ness covered my mind again, and I was as senseless to 
the things of God as though I had never known any thing 
at all about them. I w^ent on in this wretched state 
many months, living totally without God in the world. 
Through the advice of a young man I went to hear 
preaching again. A great light was communicated to 
my understanding by the word, and it pierced my con- 
science like a sword. I felt my inward parts to be very- 
wickedness : all the sins of my life stared me in the 
face, and lay as a heavy burden upon my conscience* 
I roared for disquietness of heart, and wept and made 
supplication. I was convinced I could not help myself ; 
that I could not do any thing to reconcile myself to God : 
and I had many fears lest the day of grace was past 
O, the distress of soul I went through for many months ! 
It was as though I had been forsaken of God, and hell 
was already begun in me. But the Lord was pleased 
to give me power over sin. I forsook every sinful way and 
all my sinful companions. I sought the Lord with all my 
heart in all the means of grace. I attended preaching on 
ail occasions and read the Scriptures with great diligence r 
the way of salvation, revealed therein through Christ, 
was made clear to me ; and I pleaded nothing but the 
merits of Christ for forgiveness. I often rose in the night 
to read and pray, and the language of my heart was,— 

If I ne'er find the sacred road, 
I'll perish crying out for God. 

I felt great love to the Methodists, especially to the 
preachers, as the servants of the most high God, sent to 
teach us the way of salvation. The people took notice 
of me, talked with me, and wished me to cast in my lot 
among them. I did so, though I did not think myself 
worthy ; and I bless God, I have never felt a desire to 



164 MR. WILLIAM HUNTER* 

leave them since. I continued mourning after the Lord^ 
and at length he heard my cry. One day, as I remem- 
ber, I was reading in a book where the writer was an- 
swering that objection concerning the day of grace be- 
ing past : the Lord was pleased to send me deliverance ; 
I found springing hope, and a sense of his goodness. 
How did I admire the love of God and the love of Jesus 
Christ to me ! All my thoughts were swallowed up in 
heavenly contemplation : and I could truly say, " The 
Lord is my life and my salvation, whom shall I fear 7 
Thine anger is turned away, and thou comfortest me." 

I now tried what the Spirit had wrought in me by the 
marks laid down in the Holy Scripture : and hence I 
found reason to believe that I belonged to Christ, and 
was a child of God. I made a free-will offering of all 
I had to be his for ever ; and I thank him from the 
ground of my heart that I have been kept in the same 
mind to this day; though I have great cause to be 
ashamed that I have made no better improvement, and 
often mourn and weep on that account. When I had 
thus found the goodness of God to my own soul, I could 
not forbear speaking of it to others ; and the Lord gave 
me wonderful light and courage in his blessed work. He 
helped me to reprove sin, wherever I met with it, withhu- 
mility, meekness, and much prayer : yet without fear- 
ing the face of any man, though many said I was out of 
my mind, yea, and wished me out of the world. The 
Lord enabled me to set my face as a flint, and to bear 
a testimony for him wherever I went ; and I was much 
blessed in so doing. There was a little town not far 
from ours, where I sometimes went, got a few poor people 
tosether, and talked to them about their souls. I often 
read the Scriptures to them, and sometimes made some 
remarks thereon. The Lord was pleased to bless my 
weak endeavours among them, so that a few of them 
gathered together, and the preacher joined them in a 
society, and put me in to be the leader. I met with 
many trials in this little way, and was often tempted to 
give it up ; but I durst not. 

I used to travel far on the Lord's day to hear the 
word of God. If it happened the preacher did not come, 
I was pressed upon to give an exhortation to the people. 



MR. WILLIAM HUNTER. 165 

This I frequently did, but I often went home distressed 
to the last degree, through a deep sense of my own un- 
worthiness : yet it was not always so. At other times 
I was happy and lively, having strong evidence that I 
was doing the will of God. Meantime sevei al of the 
preachers spoke to me about travelling but the impor- 
tance of the work made me afraid ; till in the year 1767, 
at the London conference, Mr. Rowel recommended me, 
and I was taken in upon trial. I was then appointed 
for the Barnard Castle circuit, and entered upon my 
work with great fear : there seemed many difficulties in 
my way : however, I gave myself up to the Lord, and he 
was pleased to give me favour in the eyes of the people. 

Two years after I was stationed in Yarm circuit. I 
w^as afterward appointed to Barnard Castle circuit 
again, and God was pleased to bless my labours, with 
that of the other preachers. We had such a work of 
God in several parts of this circuit as I never saw. 
Hardly any thing of the kind in England hath exceed- 
ed it, both with regard to its swiftness and depth : the 
power of God bore down all before it, and it seemed as 
if God was about to convert all the world. After I left 
this circuit, I was placed at Hull, then at York, and 
afterward in the Scarborough circuit. We had a gra- 
cious increase of the work of God here ; and I never 
found more enlargement of heart. We broke up much 
fresh ground, took in many new places, and many souls 
were converted to God. The last year you appointed 
me for the Thirsk circuit. This has been a year of trial, 
but the Lord has stood by me, and I am strengthened. 

What success I may have for time to come, I cannot 
tell. It is still my one desire to give myself wholly to 
the Lord, and to his blessed work. I wish to live to 
better purpose than I have yet done, to be more fruitful 
in his house and in the world. I am conscious of many 
defects in'"myself, and feel my need of Christ every mo- 
ment. My soul hangs upon him, and I experience sal- 
vation from day to day : and I trust he that has kept 
me till now will keep me to the end. 

Wishing you all peace and prosperity, I remain, Rev. 
and dear sir, your affectionate son in the Gospel of 
Christ, William Hunter. 



166 MR. WILLIAM HUNTER. 



POSTSCRIPT. 

Richmond^ August 2^^ 1779. 

Concerning the account I gave you at London, as 
I wrote it in haste, I beheve it is very imperfect ; seve- 
ral things have occurred to my mind since, which I 
should have put in if I had then remembered them. 

As touching that great salvation, being saved from 
inbred sin, I shall simply relate what I know of the 
dealings of God with me in this respect. For some 
time after I knew the goodness of God to my soul, I 
was very happy : I sung in his ways for joy of heart,^ 
and his consolations were not small in me. I thought, 
indeed, I should learn war no more. It was then 

I rode on the sky, 

Freely justified I, 
Nor envied Elijah his seat : 

My soul mounted higher 

In a chariot of fire, 
And the moon it was under my feet : 

Jesus all the day long, 

Was my joy and my song ; 
O that all his salvation may see 

He hath loved me, I cried, 

He hath sufFer'd and died 
To redeem such a rebel as me. 

But afterward it pleased infinite Wisdom to open a 
new scene to me : I began to be exercised with many 
uncommon temptations, and felt my own heart ready 
to comply with the same : this brought me into great 
straits, and I began to call in question the work of 
grace in my soul. O, the pain and anguish I felt for 
weeks together ! Yet all this while I was very earnest 
with the Lord ; my soul clave to him, and I often said, 
'• Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him." Under 
this exercise I learned several things : As, first, that 
my nature was not so much changed as I thought: I 
found many things in me which opposed the grace of 
God : so that, without continual watching and prayer, 
I was capable of committing the very same sins which 
I had been guilty of before. 2. I began to be more 
acquainted with Satan's devices, and found power from 



MR. WILLIAM HUNTER. 167 

ItoJ to resist them. 3. I had very affecting views of 
Christ, as my great high priest, who was touched with 
the feeling of all my infirmities. 4. The Scriptures 
were precious to me, and I found great comfort in read- 
ing them. And, lastly, I was conscious of the need of 
a far greater change in my nature than I had yet ex- 
perienced : but I then read mostly the Calvinists- writ- 
tings, who all write that sin must be in believers till 
death : yet I found my mind at times deeply engaged 
in prayer to be saved from all sin. Thus I went on for 
a long time, sometimes up and sometimes down, till it 
pleased God to bring me to hear you at ISewcastle. You 
preached, I well remember, from the First Epistle of 
John, chap, i, verse 9, ^' If we confess our sins, God is 
faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse 
us from all unrighteousness." This was a precious 
time to me. While you were preaching, a Divine light 
shone in upon my heart with the word, and I was clear- 
ly convinced of the doctrine of sanctification, and the 
attainableness of it. I came home with full purpose of 
heart, not to rest till I was made a living witness of it. 
I had now a clear view, 1. Of the holiness of God, and 
saw that sin could not dwell with him. 2. I had a .clear 
view of the purity and perfection of his law, which is a 
transcript of the Divine nature. And, 3. I felt my 
great unlikeness to both: and, although I felt no con- 
demnation, yet, in the view of these things, I felt much 
pain in my spirit, and my soul was humbled in the dust 
before him ! O how I longed to be made like him, 
and to love him with all my heart, soul, mind, and 
strength. I had glorious discoveries of the grand pro- 
visions made in the new covenant for the complete 
salvation of the soul : and I went on in joyful expect- 
ation, crying to the Lord to put me in possession of all 
he had purchased for me, and promised to me : some- 
times I seemed to be upon the threshold, just stepping 
into glorious liberty : but again fear and unbelief pre- 
vailed, and I started back. This cast my mind into 
great perplexity, and I often reasoned concerning the 
truth of the thing. 

It would be tedious to relate the various exercises I 
went through for several years without opening my 



168 MR. WILLIAM HUNTER. 

mind to any one. I do not remember that I ever con- 
versed with any one upon the subject, or ever heard 
any one discourse upon it. Only, I think, about 18 
years ago, it pleased God that I heard Mr. Olivers 
preach upon the subject. His text was, " Let us go on 
unto perfection." His doctrine was clear, and his argu- 
ment strong. My heart consented to the whole truth, 
and I had clearer views of the way of attaining it^ 
namely, by faith, than ever before. This added new 
vigour to my spirit, and I seemed to be more on the 
wing than ever. I prayed and wept at his footstool, 
that he would show me all his salvation. And he gave 
me to experience such a measure of his grace as I never 
knew before : a great measure of heavenly light and Di- 
vine power spread through all my soul : I found unbelief 
taken away out of my heart : my soul was filled with such 
faith as I never felt before : my love to Christ was like 
fire, and I had such views of him, as my life, my portion, 
my all, as swallowed me up ; and O how I longed to be 
with him ! A change passed upon all the powers of my 
soul, and I felt a great increase of holy and heavenly 
tempers. I may say, with humility, it was as though I was 
emptied of all evil, and filled with heaven and God. 

Thus under the influence of his power and grace, I 
rode upon the sky. My soul fed on angels' food, and I 
truly ate the bread of heaven. I had more glorious disco- 
veries than ever of the Gospel of God our Saviour, and 
especially in his saving the soul from all sin. I enjoy- 
ed such an evidence of this in my own mind as put me 
beyond all doubt ; and yet I never had such a sense 
of my own littleness, helplessness, and unworthiness as 
now. So true it is, that only grace can humble the soul ! 
From the time the Lord gave me to experience this 
grace, I became an advocate for the glorious doctrine 
of Christian perfection. According to the gift he has 
been pleased to give me, I bear a testimony of it where- 
ver I go, and I never find my soul so happy as when I 
preach most upon the blessed subject. 

Thus I have simply related what I know of the work 
of God in my heart. I desire to give him all the glory. 
But I have great cause to be ashamed before him for 
my own unfaithfulness. I feel I need his grace every 



MR. WILLIAM HUNTER. 169 

imoment : I stand by faith : I have as much need of 
Christ as ever : I may truly say, — 

Every moment, Lord, I want 
The merit of thy death. 

Glory be to his name, I find my soul united to him, 
and my heart cries, None but Christ ! I am kept by 
his power: I enjoy salvation : my heart is fixed, my 
anchor is sure and steadfast : I believe nothing shall 
separate me from the love of God, which is in Christ 
Jesus. I conclude with saying, though the whole of 
our salvation is from the Lord, yet he deals with us as 
rational creatures. He gives us light and conviction 
of our lost state ; then the heart is humbled, and the 
soul bows before him. He then speaks peace. This is 
done in a moment, and faith in the soul is the instru- 
mental root of all Christian holiness. Thus the w^ork 
of sanctification is begun in the heart, and the person is 
in a capacity of living to God, and growing in grace. 
If he finds us faithful in a little, he shows us there is a 
state of greater liberty provided for us. The soul being 
open to the Divine teaching, he shows us our want of 
this. We seek it with our whole heart, and he is pleas- 
ed to put us in possession of it. This too is generally 
given in a moment, and perfectly frees the mind from 
all evil tempers, and enables us to " love the Lord with 
all our hearts, and our neighbours as ourselves." Being 
thus perfected in love, we are much more qualified to 
grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and 
Saviour Jesus Christ, than ever. O precious salvation ! 
let me ever be a witness of it ! 

W. H. 



15 



170 MR. JOHN ALLEN* 

MR. JOHN ALLEN, 

TO REV. JOHN WESLEY. 

September^ 1779, 
Rev. and Dear Sir, — I was born at Chapel-in-the 
Frith, Derbyshire, in June, 1737. My parents were 
honest labouring people, and brought up eight children. 
all yet living; most of them convinced of sin, and some 
converted to God. As my father was a Churchman, 
and my mother a Presbyterian, I went sometimes to 
Church, sometimes to the meeting: and frequently I 
went with my mother to hear the Methodists, among 
whom I had several relations. I stood in awe of these ; 
and when I was in their company behaved more seri- 
ously than at other times. 

From eight to ten years of age I had many serious 
thoughts, especially when it thundered and lightened, or 
when I heard a passing bell ; and I was always pre- 
served from swearing, drunkenness, and other scan- 
dalous sins. But I delighted much in dancing, singing, 
and cards, and in making every one merry wherever I 
was. When I was about sixteen I was deeply con- 
vinced of sin by reading the eighth chapter of Jeremiah ; 
particularly these words, '' The harvest is past ; the sum- 
mer is ended, and we are not saved." I concluded that 
my day of grace was past, and that there remained for 
me nothing but "judgment and fiery indignation." The 
thought of this almost broke my heart, and caused me 
to weep bitterly before the Lord. But after a time I 
grew as careless as before, and continued so for above 
five years, only with intervals of seriousness, and many 
good desires, but none brought to good effect. My great 
hinderance was the being joined with a society of singers. 
I found I could not stay with them and be religious ; so 
I thought I would give religion up for the present : but 
at times I was of all men most miserable. Another 
aflliction soon came upon me : I was from a child very 
fond of my mother, and often thought I could not bear 



MR. JOHN ALLEN. 171 

to live after her. In March, 1759, she died. This 
awakened me once more. I resolved to break off at 
once, and to seek God with all my heart. My com- 
panions, thinking I had only left them through grief, and 
would soon return, said nothing to me at first ; but by 
and by, when they heard I was turned Methodist, they 
set upon me in earnest. But by the grace of God I 
withstood all, and came out from among them. 

At that time we had no preaching near us. I often 
went twelve miles on Sunday to hear a sermon. But 
in Septemjper following, Mr. Crab came to preach at 
Chinley, and joined a few together in a society : I wil- 
lingly cast in my lot among them, and blessed be God, 
have never repented of it. About Christmas, I got Mr. 
John Oliver to preach at my father's house. We had 
no more preaching there for some time. However, 
three of us continued to meet together to sing, and pray, 
and converse. One evening when we were met, I w^as 
in such distress that I concluded I could live no longer 
if God did not pardon my sins. Presently I heard a 
voice saying, '' It is I : be not afraid :" I looked about 
to see who it was that spoke ; but could see no one. 
However, my mind was much refreshed for a season, 
and I remained between hope and fear till we met again. 
As I w^as then crying to the Lord, these words came 
strongly to me, " The Lord is at hand ! The Lord is at 
hand !" But neither did the impression made by this 
continue long. Soon after I gave way to trifling, and 
so grieved the Holy Spirit that I hardly dared to look 
up, or hope for mercy. But while I was overwhelmed, 
and feebly crying out, " I am oppressed ! Lord, under- 
take for me f these words w^ere applied, " Why art thou 
cast down, O my soul ! and why art thou disquieted 
within me? Put thy trust in God." This comforted 
me much. But still I could not rest without a clear 
sense of my being reconciled to God. I was one day 
crying to God for this, and wrestling with him in prayer, 
when I felt the love of God shed abroad in my heart 
and was constrained to cry out. 

For sinners, like me, 

He bled on the tree, 

Ah, who would not love such a Saviour as thee ! 



172 MR. JOHN ALLEN. 

Now I could say, I know that my Redeemer liveth. 
My soul was filled with peace, and I rejoiced in hope of 
the glory of God. Soon after we began to have con- 
stant preaching; and a little class was formed, of 
which I was appointed leader. I loved meeting in 
class ; but I trembled at being the leader : nevertheless 
I took up my cross. And many times it proved a bless- 
ing both to the people and to my own soul. 

Before this I had many thoughts about preaching: 
but I saw not how it could be, as I was deeply sensible 
of my own ignorance. This I often laid before the 
Lord, praying him to give me full proof, if it was his will. 
Meanwhile I sometimes gave a word of exhortation, 
which it pleased God to make useful. This encouraged 
me to speak again ; but it was with fear and trembling; 
and I often thought, " If I get this time over, I will speak 
no more." Thus I went on for more than twelve 
months, before I attempted to take a text. After I had 
exhorted and preached about four years, I was, in the 
year 1766, received on trial as a travelling preacher. 
And although my heart was in the work, yet I was fre- 
quently tempted to give it up : but God suffered me not. 
He again and again refreshed my soul therein and en- 
couraged me to go on, by letting me see the fruit of my 
labours. 

Several years after I had thoughts of altering my con- 
dition. Upon this I consulted my best friends. I gave 
myself to prayer ; and, after much deliberation, married 
Miss Jane Westal, of which I never had cause to repent. 
We lived together in perfect harmony, till, on the 30th of 
June last, she was seized with the epidemic distemper. 
At first we were not apprehensive it was the fever : 
though she herself judged it was, and believed it was the 
messenger of death. As her fever increased, and her end 
drew nearer, she was happier and happier. She said very 
little to me about dying ; because she was sensible it would 
give me more affliction than I should be well able to bear. 
But to others she spoke freely concerning it, and with 
the greatest composure she said, " I shall soon be 

Far from a world of grief and sin, 
With God eternally shut in. 

The Tuesday before her death she seemed to be quit-e^ 



Mfi. JOHN ALLEN. 173 

transported with joy. When I went up stairs, I found her 
with heaven in her look, repeating the following lines :■ — 

The world recedes ; it disappears ; 

Heaven opens on my eyes ! 
My ears with sounds seraphic ring : 

Lend, lend your wing ! 
I mount ! I fly ! 

grave, where is thy victory ? 
And where, O death, thy sting? 

On Friday she seemed like one from above. There 
w^as in her such a spirit of love and gratitude as I never 
saw before in any creature. She thanked and blessed 
every one that did the least thing for her. She often 
prayed that God would reward me for all my kindness to 
her ; and broke out, " My Lord ! my God ! my Father ! 
my Husband ! my Friend! I long to see thee!" When 
she could speak no longer, I desired her, if her soul was 
happy, to lift up her hand. This she immediately did ; 
and soon after fell asleep. 

By her death I lost one of the best of wives, and ray 
two small children one of the best of mothers. In many 
things she was a pattern to the flock of Christ ; particu- 
larly in plainness of dress, and of speech, in neatness, in 
every relative duty, as well as in private prayer. This I 
never remember her to have omitted three times a day. 
Had any told me beforehand how I should be able to bear 
her death, I could not have believed it. None but God 
can tell what I felt. But I did not feel a murmuring 
thought ; nor ever, for one moment, imagined that God 
had dealt hardly with me. I could still say, — 

Thy med'cine puts me to great smart ; 
Thou wound'st me in the tend'rest part j 
But 'tis with a design to cure : 

1 must, I will the touch endure. 
All that I prized below is gone: 
Yet, Father, still thy will be done I 

I am now more convinced than ever that religion does 
not turn us into stocks or stones ; that it is intended not 
to root out, but to regjilate our passions ; and that there 
may be the most sensible feelings with full resignation to 
the will of God. This, I bless God, is my own experi* 
€nce, I have long been telling the people that God 

15* 



174 MR. THOMAS HANSOIC. 

would give me suffering grace for suffering times : and I 
am now a living proof of it. As I have endeavoured to> 
water others, God hath watered me again ; and not a» 
waters that fail, but as a fountain of water springing up 
within my soul. Let the Lord now "do with me as^ 
seemeth him good.'* 

I'll praise him for all that is past, 
And trust him for that's to come. 

Hitherto the Lord has been my helper, and he is the 
same for ever. So far as I know my own heart, I have 
no desire but to live to his glory, and to promote, so far as 
I am able, the interest of my Redeemer. My greatest 
grief is that I do not love God more, and that I have not 
more of heaven in my heart. 

I bless God, I have for twenty years been steady in my 
principles ; having never, that I know of, however I was 
tempted, wavered for one hour. I have read many things 
on the other side of the question, but was not in the least 
shaken. I still believe that Christ " gave himself a ran-^ 
som for all ;" and that " by the grace of God he tasted 
death for every man," that he might " redeem us from all 
iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zeal- 
ous of good works." 

If this imperfect account may be of use to any, it will 
answer the end that is wished for by. 

Rev. and dear sir, your son in the Gospel, 

John Allen^ 



MR. THOMAS HANSON. 



Crowan, March 11, 1780- 
It is very difficult to write where self is concerned. 
But as I am requested, I shall endeavour to give a brief 
account of those circumstances in my life which parti- 
cularly discover the Divine pity toward me. 



MR. THOMAS HANSON* IT^ 

I was born of honest parents, in Horbury near Wake* 
field, in the county of York, I think in May, 1733, the 
youngest of two sons at a birth : my parents having had 
six sons and two daughters. He that was born with me 
died in his childhood. My father died when I was near 
eleven years old. Six, out of the seven of us that lived, 
have found mercy and forgiveness through Christ. My 
truly pious mother had the happiness to see it before she 
died, though she has been dead above twenty years. Two 
of my elder brothers fell into sin, and turned back; but 
one is restored, I hope to favour, and to heaven. The 
other is not yet recovered : but O, may he be soon ! We 
always lived in love and harmony. I never had, to my 
knowledge, twenty angry words with either brother or 
sister in my life. I do not remember to have heard an 
oath in all the family. About thirty-four years ago my 
mother and three elder brothers were brought to God. I 
was then convinced, and a little aw^akened, by hearing 
Mr. Francis Scott ; the very man (I think) by whom my 
ever dear mother had been awakened and brought to God. 
From that time my good desires did not quite leave me. 
I hope my mother's prayers, tears, and advice will never 
leave my mind and heart. I was a thoughtless, careless, 
Christless son before that time, and had no fear of God 
before my eyes. 

I was placed, at about thirteen years of age, in the pro- 
fession which my father and brothers had followed, viz., a 
clothier. I now often went to hear the Methodist preachers, 
though we had some miles to go. Many of those that are 
now, I doubt not, singing in heaven, used to go and come 
with me in the evenings through the w^oods ; often sing- 
ing those sweet words : — 

Break forth into singing, ye trees of the wood ; 
For Jesus is bringing lost sinners to God. 

I used to pray inwardly in my way to the preaching, 
yea, and often turned aside to pray. I was afraid to be seen 
or known to pray alone : so I sought out every private place 
that I could. We had much persecution then, and a great 
deal of talk about false prophets in sheep's clothing. But 
the most common name for them was the damnation 
preachers, which I thought was far from sheep's clothing* 
So that did not hinder me much. But I was greatly 



176 MR. THOMAS HANSON. 

troubled with horrid suggestions, and had many fears (no 
doubt from the wicked one) in private prayer : so that 
I was for quite laying it aside. I was afraid to go to it ; 
and yet I durst not give it over. I was in a strait on an* 
other account ; I was ashamed of the Gospel : I did not 
stand firm on God's side ; and yet I durst not be on ,the 
devil's side. I was very fearful of being deceived, rea- 
soning and doubting for several years, whether the know- 
ledge of pardon was attainable here. I thought God did 
forgive meu their sin ; but that none could know it for 
himself. But afterward I was clearly convinced by hear- 
ing my brother's experience, and weighing the scriptures 
that he urged for it. And I had then a comfortable hope 
of one day finding it ; but for some years I was between 
hope and fear. When I was about nineteen years old, in 
1752, by my eldest brother's advice I went to Mr. Byr- 
ne's, at the Deighn House, near Nether-Thong. Here I 
stayed for near four years. Divine Providence certainly 
cast me here, where I had all the advantages I could wish 
for, having two schoolmasters near at hand. I wrought 
seven or eight hours a day, with my book before me, and 
spent the rest of the day and part of the night in learn- 
ing. This I did during the whole time I was here. Mr. 
Hinstiff* taught me to write, and cast accounts, for above a 
year ; and Mr. Wood, of Nether-Thong, the Latin mas- 
ter, taught me a little Latin and Greek. I got what I could 
by heart in the day, and said it to him at night. But as 
soon as I left this place, I laid these studies aside, and 
resumed them no more to this day. I have since had far 
better work, and could not see any need of these for the 
understanding of the Holy Scriptures. 

We had no Methodist preachers here. I did not hear 
ten sermons, except at church, for near four years. Here 
I was greatly beloved by those that had any seriousness, 
and greatly hated by those that had none. For I could 
not hold my tongue about religion : my conscience would 
seldom let me be quiet. I told them, we must know our 
sins forgiven, or perish for ever. And frequently I wept 
with some of them about it. Several thereabouts came 
to me for advice concerning their souls : though I, poor 
creature, was ignorant enough, and well nigh lost in my 
books* 



MR. THOMAS HANSON. 177 

My conscience during these years often alarmed me. 
But now it vvould give me no rest for want of Christ and 
pardon. So I determined, notwithstanding many offered 
me favours in worldly things, to go home to my mother 
and brothers. Several wept and entreate^d me to stay. I 
told them, I cannot save my soul here. I have not the' 
means suitable for it. 

Home I came, in 1756, with a full resolution to seek 
Christ till I found him, or die in the seeking of him. 
Then I sold, or gave away, nearly all my books, and, 
through grace, began to be as diligent in the ways of God 
as I had been in study. I now added fasting to all the 
other means of grace. Soon after this the tempter told me, 
" Thou art good enough." But a sermon of honest brother 
Ash, on Gal. ii, 21, and the words of my dear mother, 
who said, " Though I bore you, if you do not come to 
Christ, stripped of all, you will never be saved," tore 
away my self-righteousness. God now taught me to 
expect Christ and pardon every hour. My burden was 
too great to be expressed, when God had, by various 
means, (particularly by reading the Bible, and the extract 
of Ambrose on the new birth, on my knees,) brought me, 
for three weeks, to the brink of despair. Just before I 
found pardon, I was miserable beyond description. 

On July the 16th, at night, 1757, under my brother Jo- 
seph's prayer, I yielded, I sunk, and, as it were, died 
away. My heart, with a kind, sweet struggle, melted 
into the hands of God. I was for some hours lost in won- 
der by the astonishing peace, love, and joy which flowed 
into my heart like a mighty torrent. When I came to 
recollect myself, I asked. What hast thou done ? It was 
sweetly, but deeply impressed, " I have made thee mine." 
No tongue can tell what peace, love, joy, and assur- 
ance I then felt. My willing heart and tongue replied, 
Hast thou thus loved me? Here I am, willing to spend 
and be spent for thee. God now gave me to see all cre- 
ation, redemption, grace, and glory in a new light : and 
every thing led me to love and praise him. From this 
night, I could not hold my tongue from speaking of the 
things of God. A few days after my happy conversion, 
I felt anger at one who persecuted us. Soon after my 
peace left me. Then the tempter said, " He that is bora 



178 MR. THOMAS HANSOX. 

of God sinneth not. But thou hast sinned : therefore 
thou art not born of God. Thou hast deceived thyself." 
I was then in a great measure ignorant of his devices ; so 
gave up my shield ; and was in the depths of distress, 
ready to choose strangling, for near two hours. It then 
came to my mind, What if I have deceived myself? par- 
don is free, and given in an instant. It is ready for needy, 
lost sinners. I will go as I am ; cast myself on the ground, 
and on Christ at once. My former peace, love, and joy 
returned in a moment. This sore trial taught me more 
watchfulness. After this I walked in great love and peace 
for near two years, buying up every opportunity for prayer, 
hearing, and reading. I read the chief part of the Chris- 
tian Library, with Mr. Wesley's works that were then 
published; and several other books, to my great help, 
instruction, and comfort. 

Now the same Spirit that witnessed my adoption cried 
in me night and day, "Spend and be spent for God," yet 
never was any one more timorous : I thought the work 
w^as so great, and my abilities so small. I cried, I am not 
fit : I wept and kept it to myself for months. O what a 
struggle had I between my unfitness and my love to God 
and souls ! After this the Osset people, by earnest entrea- 
ties, prevailed on me to pray in public : and it pleased 
God to make it the means of awakening some sinners. 
Then I was persuaded to exhort : God blessed this also 
to the conversion of several in the neighbouring towns. 
Now began my warfare with the various sects about 
us, who came, when I had preached at Osset, to dispute 
with me often till midnight. But I was soon heartily 
weary of dispute : for it caused a decay in my peace 
and love. My inbred corruptions now began to perplex 
me more than ever, and to be a heavy load indeed for some 
time. But one day meeting with a few young men, (as I 
often did,) God gave me such a deUverance, and such a 
weight of love as I had not heretofore. I seemed too 
happy to live on earth, and thought God was going to 
take me home. My joy allowed me little sleep for weeks. 
I told it to none but my brother ; and to him only, when 
I could keep it no longer from him. Not long after this, 
a letter came from Mr. Thomas Olivers, (who afterward 
behaved with the tenderness and wisdom of a father to 



MR. THOMAS HANSON. 179 

me,) to let me know that I was appointed by the con- 
ference to travel in the then York circuit. This was done 
whollv without my knowledge. No one had spoken to me 
about it, nor I to any one. I already preached four or five 
times a week about home, and loved the people too well to 
desire to leave them. In my answer to Mr. Olivers, I said, 
" I have no doubt of my call to preach ; but have no desire 
to be a travelling preacher. I am not fit for it. I cannot 
come." He replied, "If your father was dead, and your 
mother lay dying, you must come and preach the Gospel." 
I wept a fortnight about it. I said to my brother, " Go 
you : you are more fit than me." He said, " God knows 
who is fit. He has called you: therefore go." — The 
gracious Spirit working in me a willingness to spend 
and be spent for God, and my brother persuading me, 
I went in 1760 ; and through grace have continued unto 
this day. In all this time I call the all-seeing God and his 
people to bear witness, that I have sought nothing but 
his glory, in my own salvation and that of others. I 
have been in most of the circuits in the kingdom. And 
I trust God has been pleased to use me, and those with 
me, during these twenty years, to unite thousands to the 
societies. But it is better to leave this to God and his 
people. They are our epistle, written by Christ to the 
rejoicing of our hearts. May their conversion be known 
and read by all that know them ! 

I have been in dangers by snow drifts, by land floods, 
by falls from my horse, and by persecution : I have been 
in sickness, cold, pain, weakness, and weariness often ; in 
joyful comforts often ; in daily love and peace, but not 
enough ; in grief and heaviness through manifold tempta- 
tions often. I have had abundance of trials with my heart, 
with my understanding and judgment ; with various rea- 
sonings among friends and foes, with men and devils, and 
most with myself. But in all these God in mercy has 
hitherto so kept me, that I believe none can with justice 
lay any single immoral act to my charge, since the day 
God through Christ forgave my sins. All my design in 
preaching has been, and is, to bring sinners to Christ ; 
and to build up saints in their most holy faith, hope, and 
love, to a perfect man. To this end, the chief matter 
of my preaching has been the essentials of religion ; 



180 MR* THOMAS HANSON. 

such as the lost state of man, depraved, guilty, and mise- 
rable, by nature ; his justification through the alone merit 
of Christ by faith only, together with the witness and fruits 
of it : the new birth ; the necessity, benefits, and fruits of 
it, in all inward and outward holiness. I have endea- 
voured to explain the new covenant, in its benefits, con- 
ditions, precepts, threats, and rewards. I have shown 
that perfect love is attainable here by those that press for 
it with their whole heart. I teach piety to God, justice 
and mercy to men, and sobriety in ourselves, endeavouring 
to keep a conscience void of offence toward God and man 
in every station of life, and in all relations. I also endea- 
vour to guard souls against the temptations from the world, 
the flesh, and the devil ; against the hurtful opinions that 
surround them ; and against the hinderances of their re- 
pentance, faith, hope, love, and holiness. I have also 
shown them the danger of delay, of refusal, or of drawing 
back to sin, death, and hell. In the pulpit I have seldom 
meddled with the decrees, or the five points of debate. I 
suffered so much loss by them before I set out to travel, 
that I determined not to meddle with them, but when my 
brethren were in danger of being led aside or hurt by 
them. So far as I see clear evidence for any of these 
things, I hold and prove them as occasion offers. But 
where I see no sufficient proof of a proposition, I leave 
the discussion of them to those that are wiser. But yet 
I cannot help thinking that many of these disputes are not 
much more than a learned play ; and if wise men would but 
play with these in good humour, it would not much grieve 
one. But when they grow angry, and call each other by 
vile names, because they differ from them herein, no doubt 
the devil has a great hand in it. He aims to undo, by the 
nonessentials in religion, the good that is done by insist- 
ing on the essentials. This has often been a cause of 
fear and grief to me. But, having resolved to take Christ 
for my sufficient teacher, I am now contented to know 
what he has revealed, and to leave the rest to another 
world. I have from my beginning thought myself the 
poor man's preacher ; having nothing of politeness in my 
language, address, or any thing else. O that in the day of 
Christ's judgment I may rejoice, not only in the sincerity 
of my labour, but in knowing that I have not preached, and 



MR, THOMAS HANBY. 181 

laboured, and suffered, without fruit ; but have been the 
instruments of gaining souls to, and of keeping them with 
Christ ! And O that he may present them to the Father 
without blame, in perfect love ! This is the real desire of 

Thomas Hanson, 



MR, THOMAS HANBY 



TO REV. JOHN WESLEY. 

Rev. Sir, — My father removed from Barnard Castle, 
in the county of Durham, to live in the city of Carlisle, 
where he was employed by a company of gentlemen to 
carry on a branch of the woollen manufactory. Here he 
married my mother, who was a person of some small pro- 
perty ; by whom he had three children, myself being the 
youngest I was born December 16, 1733. 

After some years, the factory was given up, and my 
parents came to live at Barnard Castle again. My mother 
died when I was about seven years of age, and my father 
soon after. He was much addicted to drunkenness, which 
made him neglect the care of his family ; by which means 
he reduced his helpless offspring to a variety of afflictions. 
I lived some time with an aunt, who had been a person of 
considerable fortune, but was reduced by the extravagance 
of my uncle, my father's brother. It is true, I was put to 
school for some years ; but made no considerable progress 
in learning. Before I was twelve, I was put out to a 
trade ; whereby a kind Providence enabled me to provide 
for myself such things as I stood in need of. The first 
serious impression that I remember, was when I was about 
six years of age. I was in a yard belonging to the house 
where we Uved, in Barnard Castle, and looking up to hea- 
ven, I was struck with wonder, and called aloud, " God 
Almighty." But such horror seized me, as made me run 

16 



182 MR. THOMAS HANBr* 

home, and shut the door with all speed. My mother 
reproved me, and said I had been doing some mischief; 
but I assured her I had not. She then insisted upon 
knowing the cause of my uncommon haste and of my 
shutting the door with such violence. I told her I was 
in the yard, and called aloud, " God Almighty," and I 
was afraid. What she thought I cannot say ; but she said 
no more to me upon the subject. A few years after, I wa& 
greatly alarmed by my sister talking of the day of judgment^ 
which I had not heard of before. But these serious impres- 
sions wore off, and I began to be 

*' Rough in my manners, and untamed my mind. 

When I was about thirteen, hearing the bishop was 
coming to confirm the children in our town, I began to 
think some kind of reformation and preparation was neces- 
sary : accordingly I applied to a relation, one John Robin- 
son, a malster, who was a sincere man, and esteemed and 
beloved by all men. He taught me all he knew ; viz., 
many questions and answers, with a great number of 
prayers ; instructed me in the Church catechism, (for 
though I had learned it when at school, I had now entirely 
forgotten it,) and in short made me, I thought, a very good 
boy. The Sabbath came when the bishop was to confirm ; 
and I having passed my examination with the minister, 
was introduced to the bishop. This was in the forenoon ; 
and toward evening I went with some of my companions 
into the fields, and played at our usual games. But before 
I went to bed, horror of conscience seized me, and I 
thought I heard a voice say, " Thy confirmation is made 
void, for thou hast broke the Sabbath." What to do now 
I knew not. However, I began to make myself good, by 
reading and repeating many prayers. In this state I 
continued, till it pleased God, of his infinite mercy to 
send a poor man, one Joseph Cheesboroiigh, a shoemaker, 
and a Methodist, from Leeds ; who, having received the 
truth himself, was willing to impart it to others ; not by 
preaching or exhortation, but by friendly discourse with 
his former acquaintance ; for he was a Barnard Castle 
man. Joseph Garnet, one of our preachers, now with 
God, and a few others, first received the truth. They met 



MR. THOMAS HANBY. 183 

together in an upper chamber for fear of the mob. They 
read the Scriptures, and the books you had then pubUshed, 
sung hymns and prayed, I went one evening with a few 
of my ungodly companions, and as they were disposed to 
mock, I joined with them. However, I found something 
within that was far from justifying my conduct, and a se- 
cr€t persuasion that those despised, and persecuted people 
were able to show me the way of salvation. I went again 
the next night, (for they met every night,) and begged I 
might be perrpitted to come in among them. Accordingly 
I was admitted, and found myself sweetly drawn to seek 
an unknown God, From that time I missed no oppor- 
tunity of assembling with them. My cousin Robinson 
went at the same time ; but the minister sent for him, 
and laboured to convince him that he and the Method- 
ists were all in an error : and to prove it, he showed 
him several old puritanical books, which treated on the 
new birth, &;c., and told him, "It is a false religion be- 
cause it is an old religion !" My cousin, at that time, 
and for four years after, was an entire stranger to him- 
self and his need of a Saviour : the minister prevailed on 
him to leave the Methodists ; and my great opinion of his 
piety made me, though contrary to my inclinations, leave 
them also. The minister told my cousin, provided he 
would form a religious society upon rational principles, 
he would sometimes come himself. He accordingly did, 
and in a little time we had a larger society than the Me- 
thodists, of formal professors who could play at cards, 
take their pleasures, and conform to the world in almost 
every thing. During this period, God still worked upon 
my tender mind, and I was fervent in prayer, reading, and 
every other exercise of religious duty. I was sometimes 
much tempted, but knew not that it was temptation. I 
also found remarkable comforts, but knew not what they 
meant. I thought I would pray at the same place again, 
which I did, and was greatly surprised not to meet with 
the same joy. In this state of ignorance I continued till 
our society dwindled away, and none remained but my 
cousin and me : I said to him one night, I fear we are 
wrong in leaving the Methodists ; we can meet with 
none who can show us the way of salvation like them ; 
come let us go and join them again. He had some 



184 MR. THOMAS HANBY* 

objections, but my importunity prevailed with him. Ac- 
cordingly we went, and it being their class meeting we 
were admitted. In about twelve months he found peace, 
and ever after continued in the way, a very serious, steady, 
and circumspect walker, till the Lord took him to himself. 
About this time Mr. Whitford, the first Methodist preacher, 
came to Barnard Castle. He preached abroad to a very 
large, but unruly congregation. I was much affected, 
especially when he repeated those words, " O let not 
Christ's precious blood be shed in vain." — [Mr. Whit- 
ford left the Methodists some years after, and turned 
Calvinist, and I suppose would now be shocked to use 
the words which had such effect upon my mind, that I 
never could forget them.] After Mr. Whitford, we were 
favoured with Mr, Tucker, Mr. Turnough, Mr. John 
Fenwick, Mr. Rowel and others ; who often preached 
to us while the blood ran down their faces, by the blows 
and pointed arrows thrown at them while they were 
preaching. Soon after, you, sir, paid us a visit, but were 
interrupted by the fire engine being played on the audi- 
ence. I and our few friends did all we could to prevent it, 
but were overpowered by the multitude. God continued 
to draw me with strong desires, and I spent much time 
in praying in the fields, woods, and barns. Any place 
and every place was now a closet to my mourning soul, 
who longed for the day star to arise in my poor be- 
nighted heart. And it pleased infinite mercy, while I 
was praying in a dark place, (greatly terrified for fear 
I should see the devil,) to set my weary soul at liberty. 
The next day the Lord was pleased to withdraw the 
ecstacy of joy, though I had no condemnation, and I had 
well nigh given up my confidence^ thinking it was nothing 
but a heated imagination. But the Lord met me again, 
while I was in the fields, my usual place of retirement, 
and from that time J was enabled to keep a weak hold of 
the precious Lord Jesus. 

When I was about eighteen, I had a desire to see New- 
castle-upon-Tyne : thinking, if I was among more expe- 
rienced Christians, I might be taught the ways of the 
Lord more perfectly. I stayed a few months there, and 
boarded with our worthy friend, Mr. Robert Carr, whose 
tenderness for my youth, and truly Christian behaviour. 



MR. THOMAS HANBY. 185 

was of singular use to me : for which I shall ever love 
and esteem him. By attending preaching, night and 
morning, and conversing with many mature Christians, 
my understanding was much enlightened ; and I think I 
may say, through all-sufficient mercy, that I grew in the 
fear and knowledge of God. When I returned to Bar- 
nard Castle, I stayed some time there, and told my be- 
loved friends all I could remember of the many excellent 
sermons I had heard in Newcastle, the nature of their 
discipline, and the Christian spirit of the society in that 
place. 

Having profited so much by my Newcastle journey, I 
thought I would take one more journey to Leeds, and 
after that meant to settle at home for life. Accordingly 
I went, and here Providence was equally kind in casting 
ray lot in Mr. Richard Watkinson's family ; where they 
put themselves to some inconvenience in boarding and 
accommodating me with a very agreeable lodging. I 
have often had a thankful remembrance of their kindness 
to me, and I hope the Lord will reward them for it. My 
business now was that of stuff-making, and as I loved to 
labour hard, I was enabled to procure more than my ne- 
cessities required. My method was, as formerly, to be 
much in the fields, praying and meditating. I also attended 
all the means of grace, and on the Sabbath I frequently 
took a walk with Mr. Watkinson into the country, 
where he preached. During this period, I can truly 
say I walked in the fear of the Lord and in the 
comforts of the Holy Ghost ; and my delight was in 
the law of the Lord, and in his law^ I meditated day 
and night. 

About this time a sudden impression was made upon my 
mind, that I ought to preach the Gospel. I concluded it 
was nothing but a temptation, and would not for a moment 
encourage such a thought. But it came again, and with it 
" a horror of great darkness fell upon me," like that men- 
tioned in Gen. xv, 12 ; and I was truly miserable. I 
remembered the wormwood and the gall that the preachers 
drank at Barnard Castle ; and I said in my heart, I will 
not preach. But the terrors of the Lord made me afraid, 
and his fear took hold upon me. I was in great bitterness 
of spirit, because of this conviction. Sometimes I thought 

16* 



186 MR. THOMAS HANBY, 

it was from God, at other times I thought it was all from[ 
the devil. In this perplexed situation I continued some 
time, without ever mentioning my case to any one. I 
would frequently retire into my closet, and express my-» 
self in words like these : " Lord ! of what use is my ex- 
istence in this world? I am profitable neither to God nor 
man. I cannot preach, for I am a fool, and a child. O 
let me die, for it is better for me to die than to live.'^ 
However, I was willing to preach, provided I was sure it 
was the will of God concerning me. But 

** This way and that, I turnM my anxious mind," 

when a friend of mine, one John Smith, told me of a poor 
woman in the society who was supposed to be dying, and 
that she was wonderfully happy. I had read in your tracts 
the accounts of many happy deaths, but had never seen 
one. I desired my friend, if he could, to introduce me to 
see her. He promised to call on me the next night. He 
did sOy and as we were going, I prayed to the Lord that he 
would remove my intolerable load^ and that if it was his^ 
will I should preach, he would show it to the dying saint I 
was about to visit. I said, " Lord, thou canst as easily do 
this, as thou canst cause her to triumph over death. If 
thou wilt but show me a token by which I may know thy 
will, then I will preach thy word w^herever thou shalt please 
to send me." We came to the house where the sick 
woman lay, and as I was an entire stranger to her and 
every body besides, I stood at a distance. Mr. Shent 
came in and prayed with her ; I followed him to tell 
him our Barnard Castle brethren would be glad of a 
visit from him. After I had delivered my message, I 
returned to the sick woman ,- and was told she had made 
much inquiry for the young man who stood in the corner. 
I came to the bedside, and she looked me earnestly in the 
face, and said, " God has called you to preach the Gos- 
pel ; and you have long rejected the call ; but he will 
make you go; obey the call, obey the call!" She put 
such an emphasis upon, " he will make you go," that it 
shocked me exceedingly. 

I now resolved, through the grace of God, to make a 
trial. Accordingly I sent word to Bramley, that preach- 
ing would be there the next Lord's day in the morning. 



MR. TflOMAS HANBlr. 18? 

As 1 went along my mind was perfectly resigned. I did 
not think about what I should say, but my heart said, " If 
he will have me to preach, something will be given me to 
say that will be profitable ; and if he has not sent me, it 
will be a less cross to be confounded before the people, 
than to be a preacher of the Gospel." I was rather be- 
hind the time, and the people were waiting, expecting 
brother Watkinson, as usual. They came to me, and 
asked where he was, and what must be done ? I said in my 
heart, " The Lord will provide himself a sacrifice." I 
stepped to the place, gave out a hymn, prayed, and took 
these words for my text, " If ye be risen with Christ, seek 
those things which are above." The people trembled for 
fear of me, and prayed heartily. God was pleased to visit 
us ; two persons received a sense of pardon. I preached 
again at noon, and at Armley in the evening. This, dear* 
sir, was my beginning, and what I looked upon as my call 
from God. 

I was now occasionally employed by Mr, Shent, and 
the other preachers, to take part of a circuit for them,. 
In 1754 brother Mitchell desired me to come and help 
them in the Staflfordshire circuit for a few months. Ac- 
cordingly I went to Birmingham, Wednesbury, &;c. 
Brother Crab was then along with us, and as we were too 
many for the few places about Birmingham, I made an 
excursion into the wilds of Derbyshire ; preaching at 
Wootton, near Weaver-hill, the Ford, Snelson, and Ash^ 
burn, where there had been no such a being as a Metho- 
dist preacher. I had often found a great desire to preach 
in that town, but was at a loss how to introduce myself. 
However, I providentially heard of a serious man, Mr^ 
Thomas Thompson, who kept the tollgate, about half a 
mile from the town. I took Thomas White with me, from 
Barton-Forge ; we came to Mr. Thompson's, and intro- 
duced ourselves in the best manner we could. He in- 
formed a few of his neighbours that there was a preacher 
at his house. Accordingly, Mr. Hurd's family, Mr. 
Peach's, and a few others, came in the evening ; I suppose 
as many as they durst invite. I talked to them, and ex- 
pounded a part of the eighth chapter of the Romans. 
t found much liberty in my own soul, and the power of 
God rested upon the people, who were deeply aflfected^ 



188 MR. THOMAS HANBYe 

I stayed a few days, preaching morning and evening to 
as many as the house would hold. Miss JBeresford conde* 
scended to assemble with us, and the Lord opened her 
heart, as the heart of Lydia. When I had been preach- 
ing Christ as a fountain opened for sin and uncleanness, 
she cried out, " O precious Gospel ! O precious Gospel !" 
From that time she continued steadfast, growing in 
grace, till the Lord took her in glorious triumph to 
himself. 

I left Ashburn, for about a fortnight, to visit my new 
friends in Snelson, Wootton, the Ford, Bottom-House, 
&c., and returned again. I now found I must preach no 
more at the tollgate house, the commissioners of the road 
had forbid my friend Mr. Thompson to admit me. But Mr. 
Hurd, a gentleman farmer, by the desire of his family, 
whose hearts the Lord had touched, suffered me to preach 
at his house. It was now that a furious mob arose while 
I was preaching, and sprang in among us like so many 
lions. I soon perceived that I was the object of their rage. 
My mind was variously agitated ; yet I durst not but cry 
aloud, as long as I could be heard, but at last I was over- 
powered with noise. Some of my friends, in defending 
me, were bleeding among the mob, and with difficulty 
I escaped out of their hands. But, as Mr. Thompson, 
Mr. Isaac Peach, Mr. Hind's family, Miss Beresford, 
and a few others, remained steady, I was constrained 
to repeat my visits till the Lord gave us peace. Mr. 
Thompson grew in the knowledge and love of God till 
the Lord took him to himself. 

In a fevv weeks I returned again to Leek, and put up at 
one of the principal inns, in hope of seeing some of the 
society, to encourage them to suffer patiently for the sake 
of Him who suffered death for them. I had ordered din- 
ner ; but before it was ready the mob collected together 
in a large body, and beset the inn. The landlord came to 
me in great confusion, and entreated me to leave the place 
immediately, or his house would be pulled down, and I 
should be murdered. I was obliged to obey ; I mounted 
my horse in the yard, and rode through the mob amid 
stones, dirt, &;c., while they were gathering in vast num- 
bers from every part of the town, crying, " Kill him, kill 
him." There was from this time no access to Leek till 



MR. THOMAS HANBY. 189 

the chief men of this mob died miserably ; and of the rest 
some went for soldiers, and all of them were dispersed ex- 
cept one man, who was aUve a few months ago, in misera- 
ble circumstances. 

I had frequently passed through Burton-upon-Trent, in 
my way to Ashby-de-la-Zouch ; and found a desire to 
preach in that place, which appeared to be fit for Him 
who came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repent- 
ance. I obtained leave to preach in a large house belong- 
ing to a shoemaker. Many attended, and I had reason 
to believe some were awakened. I gave out preaching 
for another day, and went accordingly. The town was 
alarmed, and a mob (as I understood afterward) were 
hired and made drunk by the principal persons in the 
town effectually to prevent my preaching. It w^as in the 
winter season, and a dark night. All was quiet till I gave 
out a hymn. Then they approached the house : broke 
first the window shutters, and then dashed the windows in. 
The head of this mob was a forgeman, half an idiot, who 
had bound himself, under an oath, he would that night 
have my liver. He brought the pipe of a large bellows, 
with which he made a frightful noise, and which was to 
be the instrument of my death. He made what way he 
could to me, but was rather retarded by the multitude that 
was before him. I observed him with the fury of a fiend ; 
but knew not well what to do. To attempt to preach was 
in vain, for I could not be heard. I stepped off the chair, 
and got into a chamber unperceived by my enemy. — 
When he found I was gone, he insisted upon going up 
stairs, and it was impossible to hinder him, and the num- 
bers that were with him. It came into my mind, " Go 
down stairs ; escape for thy life." I went down and walked 
into the shoemaker's shop, unobserved by any one, though 
I passed through part of the mob. Soon after he got up 
stairs, searched the closets, beds, chests, &;c.. and when he 
could not find me, foamed at the mouth like a mad dog. 
Then there was a cry in the street, " He is in the shop ; 
he's in the shop." I now concluded all was over with 
rae, and said, " Lord, give me strength to suffer as a 
Christian ; nor may I count my life dear unto myself for 
thy sake." I went under the shoemaker's cutting board ; 
meantime the mob were not long in breaking open two 



190 MR. THOMAS HANBY. 

strong doors that led into the shop. They did not see me ; 
but one of them put down his hand where I was, and cried 
out, " He is here; he's here." I had now no other means 
to use ; so I committed myself into their hands. They 
hurried me into the house, and a very stout man, one 
of those who had been made drunk for the purpose, 
approached me : but his countenance fell ; he took 
hold of my hand, and said, '' Follow me." I imagined 
he intended to take me, and throw me into the river, 
and I was content. I committed myself to the disposal 
of a kind Providence, expecting nothing but death. 
With difficulty he got me through the mob ; and, as he 
was one of the best boxers in the town, nobody durst op- 
pose him. When we came to the door, he drew me short 
by the corner up a narrow street, put me before him, and 
said, " Run." I made my way to the fields, and he kept 
behind, keeping the rest off, then helping me over walls and 
hedges, till we had lost them all. I remained in the fields 
till midnight, and returned with a friend into town, and 
lodged till early in the morning, when I rode away. 

After some time I went again to Leek, stayed ten days, 
and joined twenty-four in a society. A lawyer then raised 
a furious mob, who beset the house where I lodged. My 
few friends kept them off for a considerable time. But at 
last they lost all patience ; they broke in, and were deter- 
mined to drag me away : but it pleased the Lord that a 
woman, who then neither feared God, nor regarded man, 
opened a window that looked into the yard, and desired me 
to come into her house. Here I stayed till about two o'clock 
in the morning, and then made my escape over the moun- 
tains to the Bottom-House. This woman is yet alive : but 
she is a new woman and in our society. The next day the 
mob were not a little chagrined to find they had lost their 
prey : and had no other way to avenge themselves than to 
burn me in effigy. 

Soon after I was pressed in spirit to visit Burton-upon- 
Trent once more. The mob soon gathered : and had it 
not been for a peculiar providence, in turning one of the 
head of them on my side, I believe I should have had that 
night the honour of martyrdom. 

In weariness and painfulness, in hunger and thirst, in 
joy and sorrow, in weakness and trembling, were my days 



MR. THOMAS HANBY. 191 

now spent. And I have frequently thought if God 
would excuse me from this hard task, how gladly should 
I embrace the life of a shoeblack, or of a shepherd's boy. 
I was surrounded with death, and could seldom expect to 
survive another day, because of the fury of the people. — 
And yet it was, " Wo unto thee, if thou preach not the 
Gospel." 

The summer following, 1755, the conference was held 
at Leeds, where I was admitted as a travelling preacher. 
The next year I was sent to Canterbury. My little stock 
of money was nearly exhausted by the time I got to Lon- 
don ; and, though it was rather too long a journey for a 
winter's day, I was under a necessity to push forward, not 
having money enough to keep me and my horse upon the 
road all night. It w^as about eight o'clock at night when 
I got within sight of the lamps in the city. Two men, 
with large pistols, then rushed out upon me from a narrow 
lane, and demanded my money. They took my watch, and 
all the money I had in the world, which was two shillings 
and eight pence. (Indeed sometimes, if a half penny' 
would have purchased the three kingdoms, I had it not for 
weeks together.) I believe this robbery was permitted for 
good. It was at the time we expected an invasion from 
France, and the city of Canterbury was full of soldiers. 
They were two soldiers who robbed me, and this excited a 
curiosity in their comrades to hear the preacher who had 
been robbed : and it pleased God to convince many of 
them. About ten were in society before this ; and when I 
came away, they were increased to sixty. 

Several of the following years I spent in Scotland. — 
And I think this was, in general, the happiest period in my 
life. In 1763 brother Roberts and I came to Dundee. 
I preached in the evening, and he the next morning, when 
we parted. I came to Edinburgh, and he went to Aber- 
deen. Some time after I had a strong desire to give Dun- 
dee a fair trial. Accordingly I went there, and stayed 
three or four months. I continued preaching in the open 
air till the tenth of November. And it was there God met 
with many poor sinners, and truly awakened them to a 
sense of their misery. So that before I left the place, there 
were near a hundred joined in our society. About this time 
Mr. Erskine publistied Mr. Hervey's letters, with a preface 



192 MR. THOMAS HANBY. 

equally bitter. O the precious convictions those letters 
destroyed ! They made me mourn in secret places. Mr. 
Erskine being much esteemed in the rehgious world, and 
recommending them through the whole kingdom, our ene- 
mies made their advantage of them. These made the Lady 
Gardiner leave us, after expressing a thousand times, in my 
hearing, the great profit she received by hearing our 
preaching. Many were then brought to the birth, but by 
those letters their convictions were stifled. What a pity 
good men should help to destroy the real work of God in 
the hearts of men ! 

In 1765 I was appointed to labour in the Leeds circuit. 
Here the Lord was pleased to try me by the death of a 
most amiable wife and my only child. O how great a 
debtor to that grace which forbids our murmuring at 
the dispensations of Providence, though it allows us to 
sorrow, but not as men without hope ! 

In 1766 I laboured in the Bristol circuit. In 1767, in 
Staffordshire. In 1768, in Bedfordshire. In 1769, and 
1770, in Newcastle. In 1771, in Edinburgh and Glas- 
gow. From hence I made a short visit to my old friends 
at Dundee; and, notwithstanding the many difficulties 
they had to encounter, I found many of them serious and 
steady. In 1772 and 1773 I laboured in Staffordshire 
again. In 1774 and 1775, in Gloucestershire. In 1776 
and 1777, in Macclesfield. There the Lord was pleased 
again to afflict me in a very tender part, by making a 
second breach in my family. 

Our lives are ever in the power of death. 

In 1778 I was appointed for Liverpool. I am now 
going on in my second year, among a loving, kind, and 
good people, for whom I feel the greatest affection, and 
hope my v/eak labours are acceptable. 

Thus, dear sir, I have given you a short account of 
my life ; but fain I would do something for Him who has 
loved me, and given himself for me. My sentiments in 
religion are the same they ever were. I believe man, by 
nature, is sinful and helpless. That his only remedy is in 
Jesus Christ, who tasted death for every man. That the 
Holy Spirit works conversion in the soul, and a fitness for 
the kingdom of heaven, by transforming it into the image 



MR. THOMAS LEE. 193 

of the ever blessed God. This conformity I most 
ardently long for ; and hope, dear sir, you will entreat 
the Father of mercies for your affectionate son and ser- 
vant in the Gospel, 

Thomas Hanby. 
Liverpool, Nov. 12, 1779. 



MR. THOMAS LEE. 



I WAS born in May, 1717, at a small village in the pa- 
rish of Kighley, Yorkshire. When I was four years old 
my mother died, and I was removed to her brother's, at 
Long-Addingham. Here I was carefully restrained from 
outward sin : yet I often felt an inclination to it ; particu- 
larly to swear, which one day I did : but, blessed be God, 
he struck me with so deep a conviction that I never swore 
again from that day, nor had the least inclination to it. — 
About fourteen I was bound apprentice to one of the worst- 
ed trade, and was by a kind Providence placed in a family 
where I wanted nothing that was needful either for 
body or soul. From my early days the Lord was at times 
powerfully working upon my soul. From ten or eleven 
years of age I was exceedingly distressed. I generally 
saw, as I thought, hell before me, and believed it was to be 
my portion. The words everlasting and eternity were 
much upon my mind, insomuch that my life became a 
burden to me. For, on the other hand, hell appeared into- 
lerable, and, on the other, I found no delight in the service 
of God, so that my days were consumed in trouble. Fre- 
quently did I murmur against God and often wished to be 
annihilated. 

In this state I continued till I was fourteen, though with 
some intervals. I was then a little more at ease, and fol- 
lowed what are called recreations. But from fifteen I was 
more inclined to reading, and for some time spent all my 
vacant hour^ in reading the Scripture, and took much 

17 



194 MR. THOMAS lEE. 

pleasure therein. Between sixteen and seventeen I found 
much deUght in prayer, and had many inward consola- 
tions, though I had never then heard any one speak of the 
comforts of the Holy Ghost. But having none to speak 
to about these things, they gradually died away. From 
seventeen to nineteen was the most careless part of my life, 
I now sought pleasure in mirth and company. But the 
Lord generally disappointed me, and made it bitter to my 
soul. I could not find any companions to my mind. I 
sought mirth : but I thought they carried it to excess. — - 
And I could not bear their taking the name of God in vain. 
Hence I had much sorrow at times : likewise the looking 
back, and seeing what seriousness I had fallen from, cut 
me to the heart. 

During this time I now and then heard that blessed man, 
Mr. Grimshaw, and made good resolutions ; but they last- 
ed not long. Meanwhile I had heard of a people called 
Methodists : but I was little concerned about them, till I 
heard some of them preach. I liked them well, and heard 
them more and more frequently. And though I was not 
deeply affected under any particular sermon, yet my con- 
science was gradually enlightened by hearing and readings, 
and conversing and praying, till I resolved to cast in my lot 
among them. From that time my heart was so united io 
them that, all at once, I dropped all my former companions. 
And, blessed be God, from that hour I have never had one 
desire to turn back. 

I now loved the Bible more than ever, particularly the 
New Testament. This w^as my daily companion ; and in 
reading and meditating therein I found great delight. And 
hereby I was delivered from a temptation to think, " These 
are the false prophets we are bid to beware of." This 
vanished away when I compared their doctrines and prac- 
tice with my Bible. And my judgment was more fully 
and clearly informed of all the essential doctrines of Chris- 
tianity. And in the use of these means God frequently 
met me, and comforted my soul. Indeed the doctrine of 
salvation by grace was unspeakably comfortable to me. 
Yet, shortly after, I sunk almost all at once into a despond- 
ing state, which continued more than a year. And though 
during this time I was often comforted, both under the word 
and in prayer, yet I do not remember passing four and 



MR. THOMAS LEE. 195 

twenty hours together without being some part of the time 
in despair. In this period I was continually tempted 
to think myself a hypocrite. Once I mentioned this 
to a friend, but got no comfort at all, which shut my 
mouth for a long time. It is impossible to express the 
anguish I felt. I longed for death, though I knew I 
was not fit for it. But in the midst of all, I constantly 
heard the preaching at all opportunities, and never omit- 
ted prayer. When I could say nothing, I groaned before 
God; resolving, i^ I perished, (as I expected to do,) it 
should be in the means of grace. Yet even in this period 
the Lord did not leave me. As I was one night on my 
knees groaning before him, these words were powerfully 
applied to my soul, "Thou shalt bear my name before much 
people." And this impression never after left my mind long 
together, which often constrained me to hope that the Lord 
would some time help me. Also during all this time I had 
favour with my master and mistress, and all the family ; 
although they did not much like the people to whom I be- 
longed. Toward the end of this gloomy season, one even- 
ing, when sitting in the house, I took courage, rose up, and 
desired we might have family prayer. I kneeled down 
(and so did all the family) and prayed with great freedom. 
And I continued it, though only an apprentice, which prov- 
ed a great blessing to my own soul ; for it kept me watch- 
ful all the day long, lest my prayer and my life should con- 
tradict each other. Soon after I was desired to pray in 
another family, which I did several times. I had now 
more hope : and one day being alone great part of the 
day, and much engaged in meditation and prayer, I found 
a persuasion that God was willing to receive me. I left my 
business immediately, and went to prayer. In a moment 
God broke in upon my soul in so wonderful a manner, 
that I could no longer doubt of his forgiving love. I 
cried, " My Lord and my God !" And in the spirit I 
was then in, I could have praised, and loved, and waited 
to all eternity. 

Before tbis, I had attended several meetings for prayer. 
I was now unawares brought to conduct those meetings, 
and sometimes to speak a few words in His name whom 
I loved. When the meetings were over, others asked me 
to come to their houses, which I promised to do. But 



196 MR THOMAS LEE. 

when I came home I feared I had gone too far, and re- 
solved to make no more such promises. One night as I 
was going to a neighbour's house, one of my master's daugh- 
ters, who was going with me, said, " My father and mother 
not pleased with your proceedings." I asked, " Why, 
what have I done !" She said, " They would not have 
you go to such houses. But if you think it is your duty 
to keep meetings in the neighbourhood, they would have 
you keep them at home." That night my soul was 
greatly comforted, and I gave notice of speaking at home 
on Sunday evening. We had abundance of people, and 
neither my master nor mistress seemed to be at all dis- 
pleased. They loved me dearly, and let me go wherever 
I would. But in the midst of all these outward blessings 
I had many inward trials. Sometimes I doubted my 
state ; sometimes I feared I had run before I was sent, 
and many times said, with Jeremiah, I will speak no more 
in this name. And thus I continued for several months^ 
though many were blessed and comforted in hearing me. 
Frequently I consulted my dear friend, Mr. Grimshaw, 
who strongly exhorted me " not to be faint or weary, but 
to go on valiantly in the work to which God had calU 
ed me." 

Abou^t this time I was invited to go to Harding Moor, 
Lingobin near Wilsdon, and Thornton, above Bi*adforth. 
As these were places where no one had preached yet, I 
thought if God would own me here, and raise up a people 
for himself, I shall know that he hath sent me. He did 
so ; many found peace with God, and a society was raised 
at each place. After delivering the seup to the travelling 
preachers, I went to Long-Addingham. There also God 
was pleased to set to his seal. A society was quickly raised. 
Many sinners were convinced, and several of them truly 
converted to God. During all this time I wrought 
exceedingly hard at my own business when I was at 
home : but the going up and down to preach frequently 
took up more than half my time. After awhile Pro- 
vidence called me to Greenough-Hill, to Hartwith, and 
some other places ; at each of which it pleased God to 
raise up a people for himself. After I had preached some 
time at Greenough-Hill, I was invited to Pateley-Bridge. 
Here I was called to an exercise of my faith which I 



MR* THOMAS LEE. 197 

had not hitherto known. The first time I was there, 

Mr. had prepared and encouraged a numerous mob, 

who spared neither mud nor stones, with many strokes 
beside, so that they themselves owned, " We have 
done enough to make an end of him." I did indeed 
reel to and fro, and my head was broke with a stone. 
But I never found my soul more happy, nor was ever 
more composed in my closet. It was a glorious time ; 
and there are several who date their conversion from that 
day. After I was a little cleaned, I went to a neigbour- 
ing town, where, when my head was dressed, I preached 
abroad to abundance of people, many of whom had 
followed me from Pateley-Bridge. Some of the mob 
also followed, but as the wretched minister was not 
present to head them, and as they were greatly outnum- 
bered, they behaved peaceably. And the Lord blessed 
us much. 

Having now laboured near four years, and travelled 
generally on foot ; having been often thoroughly wet, and 
obliged to keep on my wet clothes all day : and having 
frequently, when at home, worked at night, that I might 
not be burdensome to any ; I found I was not so strong 
as formerly. And the number of places still increasing, 
I was obliged, though much against my will, to give up 
my business and to buy a horse. Mr. Grimshavv row 
sent me into his circuit for a month, sending anther 
preacher in my place. Then I returned, and spent ^ con- 
siderable time together among the new societies. 

In the year 1752, and during the winter following, the 
work of God prospered exceedingly ; hut persecution 
raged on every side. The malice of the devil was chiefly 
levelled against me, as I was the first that disturbed his 
servants in these parts. So that wherever I went I was 
in much danger, carrying as it were my life in my hand. 
One day as I was going through Pateley, the captain of 
the mob, who was kept in constant pay, pursued me and 
pulled me off my horse. The mob then soon collected 
about me : and one or other struck up my heels (I believe 
more than twenty times) upon the stones. They then 
dragged me into a house by the hair of the head ; then 
pushed me back, with one or two upon me, and threw 
me with the small of my back upon the edge of the 

17* 



198 Mr. THOMAS L£E* 

stone stairs. This nearly broke my back, and it was not 
well for many years after. Thence they dragged me 
down the common sewer, which carries the dirt from the 
town to the river. They rolled me in it for some time ; 
then dragged me to the bridge and threw me into the 
water. They had me mostly on the ground, my strength 
being quite spent. 

My wife, with some friends, now came up. Seeing her 
busy about me, some asked, " What, are you a Method- 
ist ?" gave her several blows, which made her bleed at 
the mouth, and swore they would put her into the river. 
All this time I lay upon the ground, the mob being unde- 
termined what to do : some cried out, " Make an end 
of him." Others were for sparing my life ; but the dis- 
pute was cut short by their agreeing to put some others 
into the water. So they took them away, leaving me 
and my wife together. She endeavoured to raise me up ; 
but having no strength, I dropped down to the ground 
again. She got me up again, and supported me about a 
hundred yards ; then I was set on horseback, and made a 
shift to ride softly as far as Michael Granger's house. 
Here I was stripped from head to foot, and was washed. 
I left my wet clothes here, and rode to Greenough-HilL 
where many were waiting for me : and though much 
briwised and very weak, preached a short sermon from 
Psaim xxxiv, 19 : " Many are the afflictions of the right- 
eous : but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.'' 
The next morning I preached again. Afterward several 
. accompanied me a byway to North-Pasture. There w^ere 
many serious \iearers ; but the captain of the mob came, 
and made some disturbance: and then with a great 
stick broke every pane of glass in a large window. 
This made a little confusion at first ; but afterward the 
Lord poured down his blessing in an uncommon manner. 
Almost all were in tears, and the people took joyfully, 
the spoiling of their goods. Thence we rode to Hartwith, 
where we had peace, and the power of the Lord was with 
us. But when the work of the day was over, I was so 
bruised and sore that I was obliged to be undressed by 
another. 

This summer, autumn, and winter were times of hot 
persecution. Our friends frequently suffered when they 



Uk. THOMAS LEE. 169 

Went upon business to Pateley-Bridge. Their clothes 
were spoiled, and their persons much abused. They ap- 
plied for justice to the dean of Rippon, but found none. 
But what made amends was, we loved each other dearly, 
and had exceeding comfortable seasons together. In 
January I was invited to preach about a mile from Pateley. 
When I came, the mob was gathered. However, in the 
name of the Lord I began : and though they blasphemed 
horribly, and broke the windows, I was not interrupted or 
discomposed, but prayed, preached, and concluded in 
peace. As soon as I had ended* they became outrageous* 
I retired into a chamber, and gave myself to prayer. 
While I was on my knees, one came and informed me 
the mob had forced into the house, and would quickly be 
in the chamber ; but that I must get out at the window^ 
and there were some friends below who would catch me 
as I fell. I did so, and went where I had left my mare. 
Thus the Lord delivered me this time also. In awhile, 
being desired to preach there again, I fixed it in the day 
time, thinking the mob would not leave their work to 
disturb us. But they soon came and surrounded the 
house, so that I could not preach at all. After I had been 
kept prisoner for several hours, I was obliged to run for 
my life. About the same time I was invited to Garthit- 
Hall, where I preached in the open air with little inter- 
ruption : but when I went again, the Pateley mob came, 
though the floods were out. When I began to preach, 
they were more and more violent, till I was forced to 
desist and retire. Being resolved that I should not escape 
again, they surrounded the house till near sunset ; then 
they ran to beat one of the people. Our friends snatched 
the opportunity, and brought me a horse, which I imme- 
diately mounted. The mob, seeing this, left him and pur- 
sued me. But again God delivered me out of their hands. 
But hearing I was to preach some miles off, on the other 
side of the water, they immediately divided (it being a 
great flood) to the different bridges. This obliged us to 
ride many miles about. It being very dark, we lost our 
way upon the moors. We wandered till we were 
thoroughly w^et with snow and rain ; but late at night 
found our way to Thomas Lupton's^ The congregation 
had waited for several hours, being in much trouble fot 



200 MH. THOMAS lEE. 

fear I was killed. I changed my clothes, and though it was 
late, preached to them as the Lord enabled me. It seem* 
ed to us as little less than heaven : and though it was a 
hard day, it was a blessed day to my soul. 

I remember once, during these seasons of trouble, 
wherein my life continually hung in suspense, a thought 
came into my mind, " 'Tis hard to have no respite, 
to be thus perpetually suffering." Immediately it was 
impressed upon my mind, " Did you not, when you were 
on the borders of despair, promise the Lord that, if he 
would give you assurance of his favour, you would count 
no suffering, sorrow, or affliction, too great to be endured 
for his name's sake ?" This at once silenced all murmur- 
ing, and thenceforth I bore whatever befell me with pa- 
tience, and often with joy : finding a willingness to bear 
it as long as he saw meet, if it were to the end of my 
life. 

About this time I had thirteen or fourteen places where 
I preached regularly. And I thought only of spending 
my life among them, when Mr. Grimshaw mentioned me 
to you. You sent for me, and asked, " Whether I was 
willing to be a travelling preacher?" I said, "Yes, 
if Mr. Grimshaw would supply my places :" which 
he promised to do. That year I was most in the 
Birstal and Leeds circuits : the next in the Leeds circuit 
altogether, which then comprehended Sheffield and York 
also, extending into Derbyshire on the south, to Hull on 
the east, and on the north as far as Newton under Rose- 
bury-topping. 

In the year 1758, I \vas stationed in Lincolnshire. The 
whole country, now divided into three, was then only in 
one circuit. So I spent two months in the eastern part, 
and then two months in the western. I was in this circuit 
about sixteen months in all : and I did not labour in vain. 
There was a very considerable increase in the societies, 
and many souls were brought to a saving knowledge of 
God And though the rides were long, and the work was 
hard, yet all was made easy and comfortable. The Lord 
was greatly with us, and the people in general were 
loving and teachable : and I know not if I shall ever love 
a people better on this side eternity. Thence I removed 
into Newcastle circuit, which then included Edinburgh, 



MR. THOMAS LEE. 291 

to which we went, and back again in a fortnight, gene- 
rally preaching night and morning. I found many trials 
in this circuit, but the Lord delivered me out of all. The 
next year I was in the Manchester round, which then 
contained Lancashire, Cheshire, part of Shropshire and 
of Wales, Staffordshire, and part of Derbyshire. Our 
labour was hard ; but we saw much fruit of it, particularly 
at Manchester and Bolton. In the latter part of the year 
I was generally supposed to be far gone in a consumption : 
I was not careful about it, not doubting but if the Lord 
called me, I should finish my course with joy. But it 
pleased God to restore my health and strength. May I 
still glorify him wdth my body and my spirit. 

After some years I w^ent (accompanied with my wife) 
to Edinburgh. Mr. Hopper laboured with me. It was 
now Dr. Erskine published and recommended the eleven 
letters ascribed to Mr. Hervey. This occasioned a good 
deal of reproach for a time : after which I w^as called 
away to Newcastle. The weather was very severe. Day 
after day we had various storms, and were hardly able to 
preserve life. But the worst was, when we came to the 
steep descent from the mountains (called the Peas) \vhere 
the hill had fallen into the deep road, and made it utterly 
impassable. This obUged us to creep along a path like a 
sheep track, hanging over a deep vale. Meantime the 
snow and wind beat so furiously upon us, that we knew 
not if we should escape with life. After lodging at old 
Cammus, (a most uncomfortable inn,) we went forward 
through sharp frost, heavy snow beating upon us, and 
miserable roads to Alnwick. From thence to Morpeth 
we had fair weather, but the next day was heavy rain, 
which attended us all the way to Newcastle. And here 
I remained fully employed till the Manchester conference. 

In 1760 I was stationed at Epworth once more. This 
winter we were invited to Newark-upon-Trent. But we 
met with much opposition from riotous mobs, encouraged 
by great men. On the 24th of March they took the pulpit 
out of the preaching house, and burned it in the market 
place. I went thither on the 7th of April, with Mr. and 
Mrs. Pool of North Searle. The preaching was to begin 
at two o'clock; but a large mob was there before I began. 
I prayed, and preached a short sermon. Toward the lat. 



202 MR. tho;m[as lee. 

ter end of the discourse, they threw a large quantity of 
eggs, filled with blood and sealed with pitch, which made 
strange work wherever they alighted. When they had 
discharged these, they grew more outrageous still. We 
judged it best to send to the mayor. But instead of com- 
ing to quell the riot, he sent an order for me to appear 
before him. In our way to the main street there was a 
deep muddy drain. They attempted to push me into it ; 
but I cuught hold of one of the mob, and held him so 
fast, that they could not push in one without the other. 
When we came to the mayor's he sent for the town clerk. 
I showed them the act of toleration, and the certificate of 
my license, observing I had done nothing which was not 
warranted by law. After much conversation, our friends 
gave evidence against three of the rioters, who were bound 
over to the assizes. Some thousands of the mob being 
gathered in the streets, I requested the mayor to send an 
officer to guard me through them. He said he would go 
himself. And he did go to the gate; but when I was 
gone out, immediately went back. I was presently sur- 
rounded ; and they soon began to throw mire, clods of 
earth, and stone in abundance. This they continued to 
do ail down the street, till we came to the preaching house. 
Our friends, judging there would be no safety there, 
brought my great coat into the stable, and advised me 
to mount and gallop through the mob, which I purposed 
to do. Accordingly I mounted, but some of them held 
the gate, and others beat both me and my mare in so 
violent a manner, that I thought it would be best to 
dismount and go the back way. But here also the mob 
met me, beat both me and the mare, and when I endea- 
voured to mount, pulled me back, and the mare got from 
me. Then they dragged me along, sometimes on my feet, 
and sometimes on the ground, to the side of the Trent, 
swearing they would throw me in. But they were not 
agreed, in this, so they brought water, and poured it 
upon me from head to foot. A painter then came with 
his pot and brush, and laid it on plentifully. They still 
surrounded me, throwing dirt and beating me till I could 
hardly stir. Then they offered to let me go, if I would 
promise never to come again. But this I could not do. 
Just then a man came cursing, swearing, and threaten* 



MR. THOMAS LEI^. 203 

ing, offended, it seemed, at their proceedings J at which 
most of them left me and dispersed. I rose up, and walk- 
ed as well as I could down the marsh, a few of the mob 
quietly walking with me. I found my mare in a standing 
water : I went in, took her, and rode off. Coming to a 
pond, I alighted, washed myself a little, and then went on 
to North Searle : but it was hard work, as the night came 
on, and I was very wet, and exceeding cold. When I got 
there, I procured some dry clothes, and^the Lord gave me 
a quiet night. The next day I was very sore and weak ; 
however I sat up most of the day, and in a little time I 
recovered my strength, and had still more cause to trust 
and praise God. 

On July 16th was our trial at Nottingham. But the 
grand jury, sparing the rioters all they could, would not 
find the bill for disturbing me at public worship, but only 
for assaulting me. They were accordingly bound over to 
be tried for the assault, at the next assizes. Meantime an 
innumerable mob was collected, both within and without 
the court, threatening what they would do to me. I 
therefore addressed the recorder for a guard. He imme- 
diately ordered two constables to conduct me safe to my 
lodging : the mob roared ; but durst go no farther. So I 
returned home unmolested. At the following assizes se- 
veral of the rioters were indicted : judges' warrants were 
issued out and executed. In October my counsel and 
recorder agreed (to prevent all farther trouble) what each 
offender should pay, after making submission and promis- 
ing to offend no more. The recorder then gave them a 
very pertinent exhortation, and hearing the Nottingham 
mob was collected again, sent two constables to guard me 
to my lodgings, and ordered them to give the people notice 
that if any man offered to assault me he would immediately 
send him to prison. Thus ended the troublesome affair 
at Newark. Since then the work of God has prospered 
greatly. And a convenient preaching house has been 
built, in which numerous congregations meet without any 
disturbance. 

Thus have I given you a few imperfect hints of the 
manner wherein our Lord has dealt with me. My whole 
life, particularly since I have known something of the 
saving power of religion, has been attended all along with 



204 MR. GEORGE STORY. 

manifold trials, a thousand times more than I have relat*- 
ed : yet has the Lord been exceedingly gracious to me, 
the most unworthy of all his people. If I this moment saw 
all the sufferings I have had for his name's sake ; if they 
were now spread before me, I would say, " Lord, if thou 
wilt give me strength, I wdll now begin again, and thou 
shalt add to them lions' dens and fiery furnaces, and by 
thy grace I will go through them all." My life, though 
attended with many crosses, has been a life of mercies. 
For more than twenty years I have rarely preached the 
controversy between the Calvinists and Arminians. But 
my judgment is fixed : I have no doubt either of Christ's 
" tasting death for every man," or of his being able and 
willing " to save to the uttermost" all that come unto 
God through him. I count it one of the greatest favours 
that he still allows me to do a little for him, and that he 
in any measure owns the little which I am able to speak 
in his name. I beg I may be humble at his feet all the 
days of my life, and may be more and more like him 
whom my soul loveth, till at last I reign with him in g'lory ! 

I am, dear sir, your willing, though unworthy servant 
in the Gospel, Thomas Lee. 

October 30, 1779. 



MR. GEORGE STORY. 



I was born in the year 1738, at Harthill, in the West- 
Riding of Yorkshire. At four years of age I had learned 
the catechism, and had repeated it before the minister, in 
the church. About that time I had a narrow escape ; 
being near the edge of a deep pond, my foot slipped, and 
I plunged in, but recovering myself, I struggled to the 
side, and laying hold of some weeds, got out, no one be- 
ing near that could give me any assistance. In the 
sixth year I had read the Bible through several times, and 
other books that came in my way ; particularly the his- 
tory of the sufferings of the Protestants in the valleys of 
Piedmont ; which fixed in me an aversion to the princi- 



MR. GEORGE STORY. 205 

pies of the Church of Rome. Among the practical trea. 
tises in this history was a caveat against dancing, wherein 
was asserted that " every step a dancer takes, is a step 
toward hell." This so affected me that no inducement 
could ever prevail upon me to attend the dancing school ; 
which I esteem a singular mercy, as it prevented con- 
nections that might have proved very pernicious. One 
day I wantonly threw a stone, and killed a young bird be- 
longing to a neighbour. Though no one saw me, yet for 
several nights I had little sleep. The idea of the bird's 
expiring in agonies, through my wickedness, filled me 
with inexpressible anguish. I would have given a great 
deal to have restored the little creature to life. Tears 
and prayers to God for pardon, and promises to offend 
him thus no more, was the only way wherein I found 
relief. 

My parents taught me early to fear the Lord, as far as 
they knew ; and though their instructions were tedious 
and irksome, yet they made an impression on my mind 
that was never lost, but often recurred when I v/as alone, 
or in places of temptation. Our minister was a pious, 
venerable man, and performed his duty with a solemnity 
that often struck me with awe of the Divine presence ; 
particularly when he was reading the burial service, I fre- 
quently had a distant prospect of judgment and eternity. 
I was agreeably affected with thunder and lightning. It 
filled me with a sense of God's majesty and power ; for 
which reason I would get in the midst of it, though ever 
so dreadful, if I was not prevented, that I might enjoy the 
whole report and see the full blaze. 

In my seventh year I lost all relish for learning, and 
contracted several evil habits. The two following vears 
my time at school was spent to little purpose ; part of 
this I attribute to the being too early taught to read; and 
too close application to it ; and part to the want of a pro- 
per master, who could suit my genius and engage my cu- 
riosity for useful knowledge. But my master dying, and 
being succeeded by one whose ability and method were 
adapted to my capacity, I soon recovered my thirst for 
learning, and made considerable improvement therein. — 
Before I was well able to carry a gun I was fond of shoot- 
ing ; till being out one day in the fields, my gun went off 

18 



^06 MR. GEORGE STORY. 

at half cock, and was within very little of killing my bro 
ther ; this filled me with such horror that I could not en- 
dure that exercise any more. 

When I was about ten years of age, God began to re- 
vive his work of grace in and about Sheffield ; the rumour 
of which spread into our village, and occasioned serious 
reflections in the minds of many. One evening, as I was 
hearkening to the conversation of my parents on that sub- 
ject, I was struck with an observation they made, that 
prayer was nothing unless the mind was stayed on God. 
At night, when I repeated my customary prayers, I 
watched my thoughts narrowly, and soon found that they 
wandered from the Lord all the time. This discovery 
deeply affected me ; I strove with all my might to think 
on God as being present, seeing and hearing me ; and 
after repeated efforts, through grace, I prevailed. I now 
began to delight in duties ; to pray fervently and feeling- 
ly, with or without a form ; and many times the Lord an- 
swered me in such a manner as clearly convinced me of 
his omniscience and omnipresence. I read the Bible with 
pleasure and profit : the sufferings of Christ filled me with 
wonder and gratitude, as I now understood that he endured 
them all for my sins, and to save my soul from eternal 
destruction. Reading in the thirty-nine articles that justi- 
fication was by faith, I endeavoured to cast my soul upon 
the Lord in the best manner I was able, and at times was 
persuaded that he had forgiven all my trespasses. — 
Though I had never heard any of the Methodist preach- 
ers, yet from that time I felt an esteem for them ; and 
notwithstanding they were loaded with all manner of re- 
proach, and represented in the most detestable light, those 
calumnies only increased my regard for them, because 
I understood that true Christians, in all former ages, had 
met with the same treatment from the world. 

Having acquired all the learning that was taught at a 
country school, my friends began to think of putting me to 
some business. Going one day to a bookseller's shop, 
in a neighbouring market town, I got acquainted with him, 
and my friends accepting of his proposal, I soon after 
went with him to his place of residence. This introduced 
me into company, and exposed me to temptations I never 
knew before ; and yet the Spirit of God strove with me 



MR. GEORGE STORY. 207 

more than ever : almost every night I was called to a strict 
account by that inward monitor, and reproved for the faults 
of the day : and I could seldom sleep till with prayers and 
tears I had implored mercy, and in some degree obtained 
it from the Lord : and in this manner I went on for about 
a year. I had often been perplexed with the doctrine of 
predestination, but now the tempter drew me insensibly into 
it ; he continually suggested that if I was to be saved, I 
certainly should, live as I list ; but if I was ordained to 
be damned, there was no remedy : God himself could not 
save me ; and therefore it was mere folly to give myself 
so much concern about it. But although these sugges- 
tions tended to stupify my conscience and harden my 
heart, yet I was more uneasy than ever. The Methodists 
at that time were few and feeble ; they had seldom any 
travelling preachers ; I sometimes attended their prayer 
meetings, and often followed them up and down the town, 
hoping they would turn and speak to me ; but none took 
any notice of me. I was left alone to struggle with sin 
and Satan. One day, hearing a preacher was to be 
there, I attended ; but he did not come. Upon this, one 
of the local preachers, who was then a Calvinist, gave an 
exhortation ; in which he fairly repeated the words that 
Satan had so often suggested to me : viz., that if we were 
to be saved, we could not possibly perish ; and if we 
were to be damned, there was no help for us. This made 
a deep impression, and confirmed all that the devil 
had been preaching to me for years. I believed the hor- 
rible doctrine, and from that time determined to give my- 
self as little trouble as possible about religion. Being 
surrounded with books, I read the first that came to hand; 
histories, novels, plays, and romances, by dozens ; but 
they only pleased while my eyes were upon them, and 
afterward furnished matter for a thousand vain imaginations. 
I then read the lives of the heathen philosophers with ad- 
miration, and determined to copy after them. I perfected 
myself in geometry and trigonometry ; then I learned 
M'Auley's short hand ; soon afterward geography and astro- 
nomy, together with botany, anatomy, physic, and several 
branches of natural philosophy. Once I intended studying 
the law, and read a great deal in the statutes at large, and 
other law books : but the subject was too dry and unen- 



208 MR. GEORGE STORY. 

tertaining for one of my desultory disposition. I could 
recollect reading over three hundred volumes, of one kind 
or another, (some of them were large folios,) before I was 
sixteen years old. My passion for books was insatiable. 
I frequently read till ten or eleven o'clock at night, and 
began at four or five o'clock in the morning ; nor had I 
patience to eat my meat, unless I had a book before me. 

But about this time I was weary of the shop, and entered 
the printing office. This opened a new scene of things, 
which pleased me for a season. [ was determined to be 
a complete master of my business, and in about two 
years w^as able to accomplish my day's work in six hours, 
so that I had much time upon my hands for study and 
recreations. One summer I was an angler, and attended 
the rivers early every morning ; but this, after a few months' 
trial, brought me neither pleasure nor profit. The next 
summer I commenced florist, took a garden, was passion- 
atel)^ fond of auriculas, polyanthoses, &;c. But this too 
soon grew insipid : happiness was not to be found in 
these pursuits. In the midst of my reading I met with 
some deistical authors ; I read and reasoned till the 
Bible grew not only dull, but, I thought, full of contradic- 
tions. I staggered first at the divinity of Christ ; and at 
length gave up the Bible altogether, and sunk into fatalism 
and deism. This new light promised great satisfaction, 
I thought myself much wiser than others; but, alas! it 
soon led into a dreary labyrinth ! My ideas of God and 
religion were quite confounded ; I felt the wretchedness 
of my heart, but could discover no way to escape from it. 

About the age of eighteen the management of the print- 
ing office fell to my share. I had a weekly newspaper to 
publish, all the paragraphs to select from the public prints, 
the advertisements to prepare, the press to correct, and 
the journeymen and apprentices to superintend. This 
flattered my vanity, increased my native pride, and conse- 
quently led me farther from God. I then sought happi- 
ness in card-playing ; but, after repeated trials, it appeared 
such a silly waste of time, and so opposite to common 
sense, that I was obliged to give it up. Twice or thrice 
I got into company, and was intoxicated with liquor; but 
in the midst of tliis folly I saw its madness, and turned 
from it with abhorrence. I likewise saw its ruinous con- 



MR. GEORGE STORY. 209 

sequences in those I was daily surrounded with. How- 
ever, I hoped a horserace was a more manly and rational 
amusement : I therefore attended the races, at Doncaster, 
with the most flattering expectation of the happiness I 
should find that week. The first day vanished away with- 
out any satisfaction : the second was still worse : as I 
passed through the company, dejected and disappointed, 
it occurred to my mind, " What is all this immense mul- 
titude assembled here for ? To see a few horses gallop two 
or three times around the course, as if the devil was both 
in them and their riders ! Certainly we are all mad ; we 
are fit for bedlam, if we imagine that the Almighty made 
ws for no other purpose but to seek happiness in such 
senseless amusements!" I was ashamed and confounded, 
and determined never to be seen there any more. 

When I was twenty years old I was glad of the op- 
portunity of seeing London. I went up full of the most 
sanguine expectation of finding the happiness I was in 
search of, and therefore lost no time in seeing and hear- 
ing every thing new and curious that I could gain access 
to. But new things quickly grew old, and the repeated 
sight of them soon proved disgustful. No happiness fol- 
lowed ; but an unaccountable anguish of spirit whenever I 
attended to the sensations of my own mind. Then I would 
gladly have travelled into any part of Europe or America, 
hoping a continual change of scenes would satisfy me. But 
it was war time, and I could not embark for Holland with- 
out a passport from the secretary of state, which I did not 
know how to procure. At length I resolved to try if religion 
would afford me any relief. I went to several places of 
worship, but even this was in vain : there was something 
dull and disagreeable wherever I turned my eyes, and I 
knew not that the malady was in myself. At length I 
found Mr. Whitefield's chapel, in Tottenham-court Road ; 
and was agreeably entertained with his manner of preach- 
ing : his discourses were so engaging that when I retired 
to my lodgings I wrote down the substance of them in 
my journal, and frequently read them over with pleasure : 
but still nothing reached my case, nor had I any light into 
the state of my soul. Meantime on the week nights I 
went to the theatres ; nor could I discern any difference 
between Mr. Whitefield's preaching and a good tragedy. 

18* 



210 MR. GEORGE STORIT. 

Being now weary of every thing, and every place being^ 
equal to me, (for I carried about with me a mind that was 
never at rest,) I embraced the invitation of my friends, and 
returned into the country. I was kindly received, and 
solicited to enter into business for myself. But, reflecting 
that I was young and inexperienced, I declined the offer, 
and engaged with a person to manage his printing office. 
I was now in an agreeable situation. I wanted for no- 
thing. I had more money than I knew what to do with. 
Yet, notwithstanding, I was as wretched as I could live, 
without knowing either the cause of this misery, or any 
way to escape. I had now for some years attempted to 
regulate my conduct according to reason ; but, alas ! I 
stood condemned in a thousand instances, even at the bar 
of that partial judge. From my infancy I was exceeding 
passionate ; and this evil grew upon me, and caused bit- 
ter reflections on various occasions. I knew that anger 
was a paroxysm of madness, that it was contrary to rea- 
son in every respect : I therefore guarded against it with 
all my might. Sometimes I conquered ; and those tran- 
sient victories greatly pleased me ; but if an unexpected 
temptation suddenly occurred, all my resolutions were but 
as a thread of tow before the fire ; and my behaviour was 
more like that of an enraged wild beast than of a rational 
creature. Sometimes, when among facetious company, I 
endeavoured to catch their spirit. But in the midst of 
levity I had a dread upon me. Experience taught me 
that their laughter was madness. As soon as I return- 
ed to sober thoughts I found my feigned mirth left a me- 
lancholy upon my mind. And this was succeeded either 
by storms of passion, or an aversion even to life. During 
this dark night of apostacy I lost all remembrance of 
God's former goodness. I wandered to different places 
of religious worship, but found sufficient matter every- 
where to be disgusted ; at length I forsook them all, and 
on Sunday confined myself to my room, or retired to 
the centre of a neighbouring wood. Here I considered,, 
with the closest attention I was able, the arguments for 
and against deism. I would gladly have given credit to- 
the Christian revelation, but could not. My reason leaned 
to the wrong side, and involved me in endless perplexi- 
ties. I hkewise endeavoured to fortify myself with 



MR. GEORGE STORY. 211 

stronger arguments and firmer resolutions against my evi! 
tempers ; for, since I could not be called a Christian, I 
wished however to be a good moral heathen. Internal 
anguish frequently compelled me to supplicate the Divine 
Being for mercy and truth : I seldom gave over till my 
heart was melted, and I felt something of God's presence. 
But I retained those gracious impressions only for a short 
time. 

Being employed in abridging and printing the life of 
Eugene Aram, who was hung in chains at Knaresborough, 
for murder, I observed that by intense application he at- 
tained to a prodigious knowledge in the sciences and lan- 
guages. I was so engaged with this account that I deter- 
mined on the same acquisitions : vainly imagining that 
as I had the desire, so I had the capacity to learn every 
thing. While I was musing upon these matters, and fix- 
ing the plan for my future proceedings, the following 
thoughts fastened upon my mind, and broke in pieces all 
my schemes : — " The wisdom of this world is foolishness 
with God. What did this man's wisdom profit him ? It 
did not save him from being a thief, and a murderer ; no^ 
nor from attempting even his own life. True wisdom is 
foolishness with men. He that will be wise, must first 
become a fool, that he may be wise !" I was like a man 
awakened out of sleep. I was astonished. I felt myself 
wrong. I was conscious I had been pursuing a vain sha- 
dow ; and that God only could direct me into the right 
path. I therefore appUed to him with earnest importu- 
nity, entreating him to show me the true way to happi- 
ness ; which I was determined to follow, however difficult 
or dangerous. 

Just at this time a work of grace broke out in the vil- 
lage where I was born, through the labours of a person 
remarkably zealous for the cause of God. My mother, in 
particular, was deeply convinced of the truth, which she 
soon experienced, and retained the life and power thereof 
to her dying day. She was much concerned for me, 
hoping if I could be brought among religious persons I 
should likewise soon be convinced. She therefore, by an 
acquaintance, entreated me to converse with the Method- 
ists. I answered, " If my mother desires it, I will visit 
them with all my heart.'' The first time I entered a Me- 



212 MR. GEORGE STORY. 

thodist's house they went to prayer with me and for me a 
considerable time. I looked upon them as well meaning, 
ignorant people, and thought no more about the matter. 
In a few days they desired I would come and see them 
again. Considering it was my mother's request, I went 
without hesitation. I found four or five persons in the 
house, with whom I disputed about religion for some hours, 
till I had fairly wearied them. They laboured to convince 
me that I was a sinner, and in danger of eternal death, if 
I did not repent and return to God. These were sub- 
jects I had no kind of idea of; and as their arguments 
were only supported by Scripture, for which I had very 
little regard, all they said made not the least impression. 
As I was about to withdraw, not [a little elevated by my 
imaginary victory, one of the company desired to ask me 
a few questions : the first was, " Are you happy ?" My 
countenance instantly fell, and I answered from the dic- 
tates of my conscience, " No :" she then inquired if I 
was not desirous of finding happiness ; I replied it had 
been my pursuit ever since I could remember; that I 
was willing to obtain it on any terms, and that I had 
sought for it every way I could think of, but in vain. She 
then showed me the true way of obtaining the happiness 
I wanted ; assuring me if I sought the Lord with all my 
heart I should certainly find in him that peace and plea- 
sure which the world could not bestow. Every word 
sunk deep into my mind ; and from that moment I never 
lost my convictions, nor my resolutions to be truly devoted 
to God. 

I immediately broke off all connection with my com- 
panions ; threw my useless books into the fire ; and sought 
the Lord with all my might. I soon discovered the im- 
portance of the Scriptures ; that there was no other reve- 
lation of the Divine will to mankind ; that I must credit 
the truths contained therein, however opposite they ap- 
peared to my own vitiated reason. I found my reason 
had been deceived and corrupted by the suggestions of an 
enemy, and that I could trust it no more till it was renew- 
ed by grace : that my memory was filled with a train of 
false ideas, every moment presenting themselves, and 
leading me from God ; and that my understanding was 
totally dark till Divine illumination should visit me. 



MR. GEORGE STORY, 213 

Reading Mr. Hervey's Dialogues, this ]ight shone upon 
me, and I was much deUghted with the discovery of the 
Divinity of Christ, and the atonement which he made for 
sinners. About this time I heard Mr. Fugil preach : his 
discourse was suited to one in my state, and the power of 
my evil reasonings was suspended while he described the 
work of grace in the soul. I saw the way of justification 
and full sanctification so clearly that I could trace the 
path as if it had been a road dehneated in a map. The 
next discovery I had was the hardness of my heart : this 
called off my attention from every thing else ; neither fears 
nor joys, heaven nor hell, made any impression on it : I 
often thought that Satan himself could not possibly have 
a more obdurate heart. I found it was full of pride, am- 
bition, anger, evil desire, unbelief, and every thing that 
was vile and vain. Being invited to join the society, I 
gladly embraced the opportunity, and found much en- 
couragement to seek the Lord, notwithstanding all the 
wretchedness I felt in myself. 

Attending to the experience of the people, I observed that 
almost all of them, during the time of conviction, were exer- 
cised with horrible fears and terrors ; and thence I conclud- 
ed it was necessary I should have the same. For at that 
time I did not know that frequently those distracting ter- 
rors were from the enemy, in order to drive the soul into 
despair. I therefore used every method to bring myself 
under dreadful apprehensions ; hoping this would break 
my stubborn heart : but I could never find that kind of 
experience. After several weeks' struggling with this ob- 
duracy, at last I resigned myself to the Lord, when he was 
pleased to regard my distress ; and while W. Brammah 
was at prayer the softening power of grace descended and 
removed the stony heart. I now found a great change in 
my mind, but it was not complete ; for I had no con- 
sciousness of the pardon of sin, which I was convinced was 
the privilege of the children of God : therefore I could not 
conclude myself justified : however, I began to seek for that 
blessing with all diligence : many difficulties occurred in 
the way. The old train of pernicious ideas continually pre- 
sented themselves : I could not meditate a moment without 
sinking into deism ; and I was equally embarrassed with 
the doctrine of predestination. Indeed their connection 



214 MR. GEORGE STORY. 

seemed inseparable ; I could not by any means disjoin 
one from the other. And I repeatedly found that the 
moment I suffered my mind to embrace either of them, I 
lost sight of God, and plunged into blackness of darkness. 
The wretchedness I then felt was insupportable, accom- 
panied with suggestions to blaspheme, or to embrace 
atheism. After many sore conflicts the Lord showed 
me a path by which I might escape ; and that was by 
staying my mind upon him, and ceasing from these rea- 
sonings. This I found was a safe, though painful path : 
it equally mortified my proud reason and vain imagina- 
tions, while gracious promises occurred, and encouraged 
me to follow on to know the Lord. Now I began to look 
up for the pardon of sin ; I saw that it was purchased by 
Christ, and that God gave it freely ; that no works or 
sufferings of mine could in the least degree merit this 
blessing ; but that it was to be received by faith. But 
here again I was greatly embarrassed ; the Scripture uni- 
versally testified that I must believe or perish ; my friends 
were continually urging me to believe, and I should be 
saved. Upon close examination I found that I did believe 
every truth in the Bible ; yet this did not bring a sense 
of justification. And I durst not think that God was re- 
conciled to me, when I was conscious of the contrary. — 
But the Lord soon brought me out of this dilemma, by 
showing me that to forgive was his prerogative ; and to 
believe was my duty. This believing for salvation I found 
was a distinct thing from believing I was saved ; I found 
it implied the lifting up of my heart to the Lord in fervent 
prayer, looking to him with a single eye and steady aim ; 
without evil reasonings or vain wanderings ; cleaving to 
him with all my strength ; casting my soul upon his mer- 
cy and depending upon his promises. While I persisted 
in this I found I was saved from many evils, and the great 
blessing I had in view was often near : sometimes I could 
lay hold on it for a moment, and found peace and joy ; 
but I had been so long habituated to unbelief that it often 
rose spontaneously, and overturned all my consolation. — 
I had therefore to renew my efforts hourly, and to rise as 
speedily as possible from every fall. In this exercise I 
continued about two months. Many times I lost my 
way by too scrupulously regarding the experience of 



MR. GEORGE STORY. 215 

others, yet I had never found any thing Uke despair, unless 
1 wilfully reasoned myself into it : nor could I attain to 
any deep terrors, which were too much insisted on as a 
necessary branch of conviction. I likewise formed wrong 
ideas of justification : I wanted some great work to be 
wrought upon me, that I might have something very re- 
markable to boast of. And, therefore, when the Lord 
gently drew near, and manifested his peace in a small de- 
gree, I rejected it with displeasure. I even contended 
with the Lord, till he strongly impressed upon my mind 
these words : " I will bring the blind by a way that they 
know not ; I will lead them in paths that they have not 
known ; I will make darkness light before them, and crook- 
ed things straight : these things will 1 do unto them, and 
not forsake them." I was now convinced of the necessity 
of receiving, with thankfulness, the smallest tokens of the 
Divine favour; and that I must suffer, with childlike 
simplicity, the Lord to lead me in his own way. This 
was soon followed by a clear manifestation of pardon- 
ing mercy, that excluded all doubts, temptations, and 
fears, accompanied w^th a joy unspeakable and full of 
glory. 

I continued praising a reconciled God for some days. 
The happiness I felt carried me above every difficulty. I 
could discern and reject the first approach of temptation. 
I now thought my mountain was so strong, I should never 
be moved. I did not know that I should meet with war 
any more. Indeed I expected to go right forward to 
heaven in a short time. My mind had been so intensely 
engaged in seeking pardon that I had quite forgot there 
was a farther work of grace to be wrought in me. But 
the Lord did not suffer me to remain long under this mis- 
take ; he soon discovered the remains of the carnal mind, 
and the necessity of its removal : I had scarce begun 
earnestly to seek after that blessing, before the tempter re- 
turned with double rage. I saw an invaluable privilege 
before me, but the way was difficult ; a thousand arguments 
were presented to discourage my pursuit. Once I lost 
the peace of God by attending to a discourse which set 
justification exceeding high, confounding it with full sanc- 
tification. View^ing myself in this false glass, and not 
finding I had all the marks which the preacher said be- 



216 MR. GEORGE STORY. 

longed to one born of God, I fell into the snare of Satan ; 
gave up my shield, and suffered myself to be persuaded 
that all I had experienced of the goodness of God was a 
mere delusion. For some hours I was in as deep distress 
as I had ever known. And I saw no way to escape but 
by returning to the Lord in faith, who then discovered and 
broke the snare. 

I had suffered much by evil reasonings on many occa- 
sions ; but now I was determined to use double vigilance 
against them. Yet the enemy suggested to me, " Thou 
mayest now take thy time ; thou art a child of God ; and 
if once in Christ, always in Christ : as for full sanctifica- 
tion, it will be accomplished some time or other ; perhaps 
in the article of death. God has begun the work, and he 
will finish it ; therefore take thy ease, and enjoy thy pre- 
sent comfort." But I saw, whether these were true or 
false arguments, the conclusion was deadly. Therefore I 
rejected the suggestions with all my might, and determined 
to be wholly devoted to God. In the midst of great 
exercises of mind, through manifold temptations, I omitted 
no opportunity of exhorting all about me to flee from the 
wrath to come. God was pleased to smile upon my weak 
endeavours, and to make me instrumental in the conver- 
sion of several. Afterward I w^as convinced I ought to 
act in a more public manner ; but I saw the danger of be- 
ing too forward, as well as of being too backward, and 
was enabled to keep from both extremes. When an op- 
portunity offered of giving an exhortation in any of the 
neighbouring societies, I did it with much fear and trem- 
bling ; but I durst not shun the cross. Indeed I laboured 
under great disadvantages. Through a natural impedi- 
ment in my speech I could not easily pronounce several 
words : and it was a considerable time before I could 
conquer, or substitute others in their place. I hoped my 
acquaintance with authors on most subjects might be of 
some use to me ; but I was greatly mistaken ; my mind 
was in a situation that forbade all kind of meditation. If 
I attempted any such thing I was instantly filled with my 
old deistical ideas again. I was therefore necessitated to 
stay my thoughts upon the Lord, and to follow his light 
and truth as they shone upon me. What knowledge I 
had acquired while in the spirit of apostacy from God, I 



MR. GEORGE STORY. 217 

was obliged to throw away as altogether useless. After 
some time a scene opened which was both painful and pro- 
titable ; we took an old chapel in a neighbouring village, 
the inhabitants of which, in general, differed very little 
from the savage Indians. Here I frequently preached to 
large congregations, and met with plenty of persecution 
for my pains : but it was not unexpected, and I was deter- 
mined to stand it though it should cost me my life. 

One time a popish gentleman hired some men to pull 
me out of the pulpit ; though I was ignorant of their de- 
sign, I providentially fixed my eye upon them as soon as 
they came in. They were confounded, and stayed peace- 
ably till the service was over. Sometimes the mob re- 
venged themselves on the door and windows, throwing 
whatever came next to hand ; and then followed us through 
the streets with mire and dirt. At an adjoining village, 
w'here I was to preach, some had engaged a madman : 
and to qualify him more perfectly for the work, had made 
him drunk. He came armed w ith a large club, and raging 
in a most furious manner. I was waiting calmly for the 
event, when the man's wife came in, and having endea- 
voured in vain to persuade him to go away, fell into violent 
fits. Seeing this, he instantly became as quiet as a lamb, 
and we returned without the least injury. 

Soon after, I entered into the most afflicting dispensa- 
tion I had ever known, which continued three months. I 
gradually sunk into unaccountable anguish of mind, as if 
the powers of darkness surrounded me without intermis- 
sion. Sometimes such a horror penetrated my whole soul, 
as if I had committed some atrocious crime, and was in- 
stantly to stand before the great Judge to receive the sen- 
tence of eternal damnation. Very often I expected in- 
stant death ; my whole frame seemed just dissolving. In 
the midst of all I found the grace of God was sufficient to 
support me under it ; my conscience was free from con- 
demnation ; and I saw this distress was part natural, and 
part diabolical. I still kept cleaving to the Lord and stay- 
ing my mind upon him ; the cloud broke, and my former 
peace returned. I found something daily dying within me, 
but what it was I could not tell. When I was at the lowest, 
I began to rise again, and continued increasing in the life 
of God for three months more. I was then one evening 

19 



218 MR. GEORGE STORY, 

meeting my band, when the power of the Lord descended 
in an uncommon manner, and I believed he bad purified 
my heart. At first I rejected it through a sense of my 
unworthiness. But the witness again returned. I con- 
sidered, " What have I either done or suffered that could 
induce the Lord to show me this great mercy ?" And I 
was upon the point of giving up again, when it occurred to 
my mind, " By grace ye are saved through faith, and that 
not of yourselves, it is the gift of God ; not of works. Jest 
any man should boast." I was then constrained to ac- 
quiesce, and said. Since it is so, I will hold fast if I can. 
The next morning I awoke in such power and peace as 
I had never known, and the promises in the latter part of 
the 30th chapter of Ezekiel were applied in such a manner 
as left no doubt but the Lord had wrought that great 
change in me. Nevertheless, it was not in the manner I 
expected. I supposed a soul saved from all sin would be 
a great, wise, and glorious creature ; whereas I found my- 
self infinitely little, and mean, and base ; I had such a dis- 
covery of my own nothingness as humbled me to the dust 
continually. I felt myself as ignorant and helpless as an 
infant, and knew I could not stand a moment without the 
Divine aid. Nor did I find such overflowing joys as I ex- 
pected, but only an even, permanent peace, which kept my 
heart in the knowledge and love of God. Meantime seve- 
ral scriptures were opened to me at once ; and I found a 
delightful relish for the whole. But still I found know- 
ledge in Divine things was to be acquired gradually through 
patient labour ; and that even this was limited ; God giv- 
ing no more than was necessary, and at such times as he 
pleased. I walked in this liberty some months, till one 
day I met with a circumstance which grieved me. I at- 
tended too much to the temptation, and was not inwardly 
watchful ; so before I was aware, the temptation took 
place in my heart, and I found myself angry for a moment 
or two. As I never expected to feel this evil any more, 
my distress was inconceivable for three or four hours ; the 
enemy suggesting that I was now an apostate from the 
pure love of God, and could never be restored. I cried 
mightily to the Lord, and he discovered the device of the 
enemy, and healed the wound that had been made. He 
likewise showed me that as I had received Christ Jesus, 



Mil, GEORGE STORY. 219 

SO I must walk in him ; that the same faith by which I 
entered into rest mast be continued, in order to be es- 
tabhshed in that liberty. 

The conference being at Leeds in the year 1762, I at- 
tended with a design of edifying by the public discourses 
and private conversation of the preachers. And herein I 
had abundant reason to be satisfied. Mr. Wesley's ser- 
mons were in a peculiar manner calculated for establish, 
ing me in what I had lately experienced. During the con- 
ference it appeared there wanted several more preachers, 
as itinerants, in different circuits. My friends proposed 
me for one, and asked if I had any objection. As I was 
resigned to any station that Providence seemed to point 
out, I submitted to the judgment of my brethren. Being 
admitted on trial, I returned home to settle my affairs ; 
and in the latter end of February, 1763, I went into the 
Dales circuit. When I got to Darlington the town was in 
an uproar, occasioned by George Bell's prophecy. That 
day, according to his prediction, the world was to be de- 
stroyed. Many people were much frightened ; but their 
fears soon gave place to resentment, and they threatened 
to pull down the house, and burn the first preacher that 
came. However, considering that God was all-sufficient, 
I told Mrs. Oswald, if she would venture the house, I 
would venture myself. Notice being given for preaching, 
the place was soon filled with people rude enough. Pro- 
videntally I found in the Newcastle paper a paragraph 
wherein Mr. Wesley disavowed all connection with Mr. 
Bell, and all credit to his prophecy. This I read to the 
people, which instantly quieted them, and they attended 
patiently to the end of the meeting. A poor backslider 
was that night cut to the heart, and roared out in a tre- 
mendous manner. But shortly after he found mercy, and 
died in peace. 

In this circuit I found several societies of sincere peo- 
ple ; but many of them were settled upon their lees : those 
who had obtained justification were resting in their past 
experience, and had little expectation of being saved from 
inward sin till death. I spoke strongly of full salvation, 
and God gave the word success. Several were stirred up 
to seek for purity of heart, and others were convinced of 
ain. Mr. Samuel Meggot, a zealous, pious preacher, was 
my fellow labourer, in whom I found the affection of a 



220 MR. GEORGE STORY. 

parent. Meeting me one day in the Dales, he said, 
" You must make haste to Barnard-Castle ; the people 
are all in confusion; six or seven of them have found 
full sanctification, and the rest are tearing one another to 
pieces about it." When I got to the town I found many 
were not a little prejudiced against me as a setter forth 
of strange doctrines. I attempted to preach among them, 
but could find no liberty ; I met the society, but it was 
still the same. I was just going to conclude, when, in 
an instant, the power of God descended in a wonderful 
manner. The assembly were all in tears, some praising 
God for pardoning mercy, and others for purifying grace. 
And even those who could not yet understand this new 
doctrine, were constrained to say, " If we do not believe 
it, we will never speak against it any more." The snare 
of the enemy was eifectually broken ; and from that time 
the work spread, not only through the town, but also into 
the neighbouring societies. We seldom had any meeting, 
public or private, but some were either convinced, justified, 
or saved from all sin. 

The society in Wear-Dale consisted of thirty-six mem- 
bers. But on Sunday, at two o'clock, the Divine power 
descended upon the assembly ; six persons, one after 
another, dropped down, and as soon as they came to them- 
selves cried out for mercy. The work from that time 
revived and spread through different parts of the Dale, 
and the society was soon doubled in its number ; many of 
whom stand to this day. In other places the people 
were remarkably lively, and many were added to the so- 
cieties. I continued in this circuit till July, 1764, having 
the satisfactory evidence that I was acting in a station 
suitable to the design of Providence. This greatly sup. 
ported me in the various difficulties that unavoidably oc- 
curred. Indeed I exerted myself much above my strength, 
both in preaching and travelling, often venturing in tem- 
pestuous weather over those dreary fells when even the 
mountaineers themselves durst not. I was frequently in 
danger of being swallowed up in the bogs or carried away 
by the torrents. Sometimes I have rode over valleys 
where the snow was eight or ten feet deep for two or 
three furlongs together. When the danger was most im- 
minent I not only found a calm resignation, but a solid 
rejoicing in the God of my salvation. G. S. 



MR. JOHN MASON. 



221 



MR. JOHN MASON. 



TO REV. JOHN WESLEY. 

Motcomh, near Shaftsbury, Aug. 31, 1780. 

Rev. Sir, — I am a person who has neither ability nor 
inclination to say much of myself; being desirous to be 
little and unknown. Nevertheless, if this short account 
of the mercy of God to a sinner may be of the least use to 
any, all the praise shall be given to Him by whose grace 
I am what I am : for I always desire to bear in mind that 
testimony of St. Paul, 1 Timothy i, 15, " This is a faith- 
ful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus 
came into the world to save sinners ; of whom I am 
chief." 

I was born in the year of our Lord 1732, in the parish 
of Hambledon, about eight miles from Portsmouth. When 
I was about four years old my father died, and soon 
after my mother. Such was the order of Divine Provi- 
<lence that I had but little knowledge of, or help from 
them : but almighty Goodness provided for me. When 
my mother died I was removed to Portsmouth Common, 
by the care of her own sister, the wife of Mr. Richard 
Libbard, who had lived there in good credit for many 
years ; and I was to them as their own child. I believe my 
aunt lived in the fear of God, and, according to the light 
she had, endeavoured to bring me up in a religious manner. 
I have great reason to be thankful to God on her ac- 
count. Many of her instructions I remember to this day, 
with much comfort; and I have not a doubt but that she 
is now in Abraham's bosom. Yet, notwithstanding all the 
care that was taken of me, I gave way to evil, and did 
many things contrary to the word of God ; on account of 
which I remember to have felt many sharp convictions 
before I was ten years of age. I was often alarmed with 
the fear of death and judgment. I trembled at the thought 
of being cast into the fire of hell. At those times I 

19* 



222 MR. JOHN MA^ON. 

frequently went alone, and prayed that God would have 
mercy upon me, and save me from my sins. As I grew 
up, I saw more and more into the evil of sin. But al- 
though I truly hated sin, I was often overcome by it, 
which abundantly increased my pain and sorrow. But it 
was by hearing a sermon of Mr. Whitefield's, and those 
of a pious minister whose congregation I now attended, 
that my convictions deepened. I began to see myself as 
I never had done before, and to know I was a fallen child 
of Adam. I felt the burden with deep distress. My 
sleep departed from me, and I neglected to take my ne- 
cessary food. I cried to God night and day. I longed 
for his salvation. But I was afraid Christ did not die for 
me. When this persuasion prevailed it cut me off. I 
was as one that had no hope. I cannot describe the 
anguish that tortured my poor soul. Sometimes I wished 
I had never been born ; at other times that I had been an 
idiot from my birth. And many times, such was my igno- 
rance, and the force of temptation, I complained against 
God for making me what I was. 

While I was exercised in this gloomy, dejected manner, 
I, one evening, took up the New Testament to read, and I 
hope never to forget the time or place. As I read I felt, 
I cannot tell how, an unusual going out after God and 
Christ. At once my eye and all the powers of my soul 
were fixed on those words, Heb. ii, 9, " But we see Jesus, 
who was made a little lower than the angels, for the suffer- 
ing of death, crowned with glory, and honour, that he by 
the grace of God should taste death for every man." The 
deep silence that rested on me gave way, and I broke out, 
as in an ecstacy of joy, not regarding who might hear, — 

For me he lived, and for me he died. 

In a moment all my burthen of pain and sorrow fled 
away, and all my soul was filled with peace and joy. I 
was all love to God and man. Truly my delight was in 
the Almighty, and I began to sing aloud,— 

O for a thousand tongues to sing 

My great Redeemer's praise: 
The glories of my God and King, 

The triumphs of his grace. 



!tfR. JOHN MASON. 223 

Happy would it have been for me if I had been careful 
to grow in the grace of God. Bat I gave way to a curious 
spirit, and puzzled myself with doubtful disputations. And 
by this means I gradually damped the grace of God, and 
cast the blessing away I had been intrusted with. Soon 
after this the Methodist preachers came to Portsmouth. I 
went to hear them, and the word was made profitable to 
me. I felt new desires, and was often much comforted^ 
and I once more resolved to give up my body and soul a 
sacrifice to God. I was admitted into the society by Mr., 
James Oddy* I continued to meet with them for some 
lime, and many were the blessings I thereby received ^ 
But after a time a stumbling block was laid in my way,, 
and I left the society. But it was chiefly owing to my 
inexperience and want of patience. I ought lo have 
minded one thing, whatever others did, and to have pressed 
on to the prize of our high calling. 

After this I went on for five years in darkness, misery^ 
and distress, yea, many times almost in despair ; yet I 
constantly attended the preaching, and sometimes was 
permitted to stay at the meeting of the society ; but when 
my much esteemed friend, Mr. Robert Roberts, came into 
the circuit, he was informed of me ; for I believe both the 
preachers and people had a regard for me. He gave me 
a note of admittance again. May I never forget this 
mercy ! 

It was not long after, being at a prayer meeting with a 
few friends, that I recovered the peace and love of God. 
My soul was humbled in the dust ; I became solidly happy 
in God my Saviour. I was watchful, and spent much 
time in prayer : the word of God was my daily companion^ 
and it was spirit and life to my soul. My faith was now 
strengthened : my love to God and man increased abun- 
dantly. The Lord held me by my hand, and fed me 
with the bread of life. He gave me to drink of the water 
of the river of life, and I was happy all the day long^ 
Such was the blessing I continually enjoyed, I lived near 
to God, keeping Jesus in my view, as my life, my pattern, 
and my all. 

When Mr. Francis Gilbert appointed me to take care 
of a class, it was a great trial. But so much the more 
did the Lord make it a blessing to me. For while I 



224 MR. JOHN MASON. 

prayed for my brethren, and laboured to help them forward 
in the way to the kingdom, he gave me great consolation 
in my own soul. And I began to feel a stronger desire 
for the salvation of poor sinners. I reproved, advised, 
and comforted, as opportunity served ; being, at the same 
time, particularly careful over my own behaviour. Mean- 
time, by the desire of my friends, I sometimes read a 
sermon, or some part of the Christian Library. I did 
this first in our own society, and afterward in that of a 
neighbouring town. Sometimes also I ventured to give 
a few words of exhortation ; and the people not only 
bore with my weakness, but urged me to do it more 
frequently. Some time after I felt a strong conviction that 
it was my duty to preach. I did so occasionally ; and, 
though it was with much weakness, fear, and trembling, 
the Lord owned my feeble attempts : the people were pro- 
fited, and my own soul was helped forward in the grace of 
God. I advised with the assistant, and the other preachers, 
and being encouraged by them, I went on therein, relying 
upon God, who giveth strength to them that have no 
might. 

But I was not long satisfied with this. I found a 
stronger and stronger conviction that it was my duty to 
give myself wholly up to the work of God, and to com- 
mence an itinerant preacher. But I shrunk from the 
thought. I wept, and prayed, and strove against it with 
all my might, till I had well nigh lost all the life and 
peace of God out of my soul. Yet I did not comply : it 
was so contrary to the plan I had just laid down, having 
(as I supposed) settled myself for life. It was my desire and 
design to live and die among my first religious acquaint- 
ance, and then to lay my bones by the side of my dear and 
only brother, just torn from me by the hand of death. — 
But not being able to resist any longer, I laid the matter 
before Mr. Furz, and the other preachers in the circuit. 
They advised me to fight against God no more, but pre- 
pare myself against the next conference. I did so, and 
attended at Bristol in August, 1761. I can truly say I 
had no other end in view but the glory of God and the 
good of souls. With regard to this world I had all I 
wanted, and to spare. And I had a prospect of easily 
gaining much more, had I remained in my business, which 



MR. JOHN MASON. 225 

was steady and continually increasing. But this I gave 
up freely, nor have I repented of it one moment since. 
And if it were to do again, I helieve I should do it with 
the same cheerfulness. For He is worthy of all my ser- 
vice who has bought me with his precious blood. 

You, sir, were pleased to appoint me to labour in the 
York circuit with Mr. Furz and Mr. Pool. It was a year 
of much peace and comfort : and I resolved, in the strength 
of Christ, to continue spending, and be spent, in the bless- 
ed work to my life's end. 

It is of little use to say in what parts of England, Ire- 
land, and the Isle of Man I have laboured ; or hov/ many 
persons have been convinced of sin, or converted to God : 
or how many have been added to the societies in the cir- 
cuits wherein I have laboured. Let it suffice that this, 
and all I am, will be fully known in that great day. But 
I believe I may be permitted to mention, in the fear of 
God, that after sixteen years' labour, I do not know that 
either my principles or practice have given you, sir, or 
any of my brethren cause to repent, for a moment, that 
you received me as a fellow labourer in the house of God, 
And in this I am the same at this day as at first. I still 
esteem it no small privilege to act with you as a son in 
the Gospel, to be directed by you, where, when, and how 
to act. 

I bless God I still daily enjoy a measure of his grace 
and love. But I am ashamed when I consider how little 
improvement I have made. I long to have every thing 
taken from me that is not agreeable to the mind that w^as 
in Christ. 

For many years I have been fully satisfied with regard 
to the doctrines of the Methodists ; and in them I hope 
to live and die. But from the time that I recovered the 
favour of God I have always been averse to disputing. I 
remember how much I suffered thereby in the beginning 
of my turning to God, And I believe it would be happy 
if all the children of God would strive to agree as far as 
possible ; and live in love as brethren, and strive to help 
each other in fighting the good fight of faith. This is the 
one desire, and I hope it will be the continual labour of, 
Rev. sir, your dutiful son in the Gospel, 

John Mason. 



226 MR. THOMAS MITCHELL, 



MR. THOMAS MITCHELL. 



I WAS born in the parish of Bingley, Yorkshire, De- 
cember 3cl, 1726. My parents both died in the faith. I 
lived with them seven years, and seven years more with 
an uncle, who was in the same parish. From five years 
old I had strong convictions at times, and put up many 
prayers for mercy. And though I had no one to teach 
me, yet I had the fear of God in my heart. If I was 
overtaken in any sin, I was much troubled till I had said 
many prayers, which I thought would make all up. At 
foivrteen I was put apprentice to be a mason. While I 
lived with my master I had little concern for my soul. — 
But after six years, at the time of the rebellion, I enlisted 
among the Yorkshire Blues. I continued with them about 
a year. There was one man among us who had the fear 
of God before his eyes. He gave me good advice, 
which, one time in particular, took great effect upon 
me and my comrade. We both of us were under deep 
convictions, but knew not what to do to be saved. I be- 
gan to fear exceedingly, knowing I was not fit to die. 
These words followed me continually : " Cursed is every 
one that continueth not in all things written in the book 
of the law to do them." I thought I must fulfil the law, 
or be damned. I strove all I could to fulfil it ; but I 
thought I grew worse and worse, till my load was many 
times heavier than I could bear. 

In the year 1746, the rebellion being over, we were dis- 
charged. I then sought for a people that feared God, and 
soon joined the society. I heard John Nelson several 
times, and began to have some hope of finding mercy : 
some time after I went to hear Mr. Grimshaw, and was 
convinced that we are to be saved by faith : yea, that the 
very worst of sinners might be saved by faith in Christ 
Jesus. Soon after I heard Mr, Charles Wesley preach 
from these words, " I am determined not to know any 



MR. THOMAS MITCHELL. 227 

thing among you, save Jesus Christ and him crucified." 
He showed clearly that Christ is able and willing to save 
the greatest sinners. I was much refreshed under the 
sermon, and much more so in singing these words, — 

"Whither sliould a sinner go ? 

His wounds for me stand opon'd wide : 
Only Jesus will I know, 

And Jesus crucified. 

But when he told us w^e might know our sins forgiven 
in this life ; yea, this very moment, it seemed to me new 
doctrine, and 1 could not believe it all. But I continued 
in prayer ; and in a few days I was convinced of it to my 
great joy. The love of Christ broke into my soul, and 
drove away all guilt and fear : and at the same time he 
filled my heart with love both to God and man. I saw 
that God was my salvation, and now could trust him, and 
praise him with joyful lips. I could sing with all my 
heart, — 

O what, shall I do my Saviour to praise ! 
So faithful and true, so plenteous in grace ? 
So strong to deliver, so good to redeem. 
The weakest believer that hangs upon him ! 

Soon after this Mn John Wesley came to Bradforth, and 
preached on, " This one thing I do." He joined several 
of us together in a class, which met about a mile from the 
town. But all of them fell back, and left me alone ; yet 
afterward some of them returned. Before this I thouo-ht 
my hill was so strong I could never be moved. But seeing 
so many fall into sin, I began to see danger in my way. 1 
began to feel an evil heart of unbelief, and was fully con- 
vinced that there must be a farther change in my heart 
before I could be established in grace. Afterward I re- 
moved to Kighley, and had many opportunities of hearing 
and profiting by Mr. Grimshaw. But feeling my corrup- 
tions, with strong temptations, I fell into great doubtings. 
I was almost in despair, full of unbelief. I could scarce 
pray at all. I was in this state near half a year, finding 
no comfort in any thing. But one evening one of our 
friends prayed in the society, and my soul was set at 
liberty. All my doubts fled away^ and faith and love once 
more sprung up in my heart. I afterward saw that God 
had a farther end in these trials and deliverances. 



228 MR. THOMAS MITCHELL. 

Not long after this I felt a great desire to tell others 
what God had done for my soul. I wanted my fellow 
creatures to turn to the Lord, but saw myself utterly unfit 
to speak for him. I saw the neighbourhood in which I 
lived abounding with all manner of wickedness ; and no 
man caring for their souls, or warning them to flee from 
the wrath to come. I began to reprove sin wherever I 
was, though many hated me for so doing. I did not 
regard that ; for God gave me an invincible courage. 
But still I did not see clearly whether I was called to speak 
in public or not. After many reasonings in my mind I 
ventured to give notice of a meeting. When the time 
came, my soul was bowed down within me ; my bones 
shook, and one knee smote against the other. I had 
many to hear me ; some of them heard me with pain, and 
advised me to speak no more in public. But one young 
woman was convinced of her lost condition, and never 
rested till she found redemption. 

But this did not satisfy my friends. So, as they were 
not willing to receive me, I went to those that would ; and 
God began to bless my weak endeavours. Yet I was not 
satisfied myself. For several weeks I had great trouble 
in my mind. I thought no man's case was like mine. — 
Sometimes I wished I had never been born. Most of my 
friends were against me. I was full of fears within, and 
had a persecuting world without. But all this time my 
heart was drawn out in prayer that God would show me 
the way wherein I should go. Being now employed at Sir 
Walter Coverley's, in the parish of Guisely, I met with a 
few serious people at Yeadon. They were just setting out 
in the ways of God, and desired me to give a word of ex- 
hortation among them. I did so a few times, and God 
was pleased to bless it to their souls. The little society 
increased, and they all dearly loved one another. But 
Satan was not idle. Every time we met, a riotous mob 
gathered around the house, and disturbed us much. One 
evening, while William Darney was preaching, the curate 
of Guisely came at the head of a large mob, who threw 
eggs in his face, pulled him down, dragged him out of the 
house on the ground, and stamped upon him. The curate 
himself then thought it was enough, and bade them let 
him alone, and go their way. Some time after Jonathan 



MR. THOMAS MITCHELL. 229 

Maskew came. As soon as he began to speak the same 
mob came, pulled him down, and dragged him out of the 
house. They then tore off his clothes, and dragged him 
along upon his naked back, over the gravel and pavement. 
When they thought they had sufficiently bruised him, they 
let him go, and went away. With much difficulty he 
crept to a friend's house, where they dressed his wounds, 
and got him some clothes. It was my turn to go next. 
No sooner was I at the town than the mob came, like so 
many roaring lions. My friends advised me not to preaoh 
that night ; and undertook to carry me out of the town. 
But the mob followed me in a great rage, and stoned me 
for near two miles, so that it was several weeks before I 
got well of the bruises I then received. 

About this time a carpenter was swearing horribly, 
whom I calmly reproved. He immediately flew in a vio- 
lent passion ; and having an axe in his hand, lifted ii up, 
and swore he would cleave my head in a moment. But 
just as he was going to strike, a man that stood by snatch- 
ed hold of his arm, and held him till his passion cooled. 
At first I felt a little fear, but it soon vanished away. 

While I was working at Sir Walter's, some one in- 
formed him that I was a Methodist. He was much dis- 
pleased, saying, " I like him for a w^orkman ; but I hate 
his religion." This was chiefly owing to his steward, 
whom I had often reproved for swearing. He mortally 
hated me on that account. But in a little time he was 
taken ill. Perceiving himself worse, he sent a message 
to me, earnestly desiring I would come and pray with 
him. I went, and found him in an agony of conviction, 
crying aloud for mercy. I showed him where mercy was 
to be found, and then went to prayer with him. While I 
was praying his heart seemed iDroken, and he was bathed 
in tears. He owned he had been a grievous sinner ; but 
he cried to God with his latest breath, and, I believe, not 
in vain. 

I stayed some time after in these parts, and was fully 
employed. All the day I wrought diligently in my busi- 
ness ; in the evenings I called sinners to repentance. And 
now the mobs were not so furious ; so that we had no 
considerable interruption. In the meantime I waited to 
see whether the Lord had any thing for me to do. I made 

20 



230 MR. THOMAS MITCHELL. 

it matter of continual prayer that he would make my 
way plain before me ; and in a little while I had much 
more of the best work upon my hands. I was desired to 
give an exhortation at a village called Hartwith. I went 
thither several times. Several here were deeply convinced 
of sin ; and two or three soon found redemption in the 
blood of Jesus, the forgiveness of sins. Afterward I was 
invited to Thirsk. Here I found a few hungry souls ; but 
they were as sheep without a shepherd, seldom hearing 
any thing like the Gospel. I spent two nights among 
them : the serious people were much refreshed : some 
were awakened and saw their danger, and cried out for 
mercy. 

After this I went to Stockton, where I found a lively 
people, who had been joined in society for some time. — - 
I preached several times among them with great liberty of 
soul and freedom of speech ; and to all appearance the 
word had much effect on the hearers. Here I met with 
Mr. Larwood, who behaved very kindly to me, and told 
me he hoped I should be very useful if I kept humble. — 
He then sent me before him to York and Leeds, where I 
preached and gave notice of his coming. From Leeds I 
went to Birstal. It happened to be their preaching night. 
John Nelson was sick in bed, so the people desired me to 
preach or give them a word of exhortation. Accordingly 
I preached in the best manner I could, and the people 
seemed well satisfied. The next day I went to High- 
town, and preached to a large congregation in the even- 
ing. I had much liberty in speaking, and found a great 
blessing to my own soul ; and I have reason to believe 
that the people were well satisfied. 

From Birstal I went to Heptonstol. Here I met with 
a lively people, who received me very kindly. I gave 
several exhortations among them, and the word went with 
power to many hearts. I continued some time in these 
parts, and went to several places in Lancashire. Here 
also I found many were awakened, and several found 
peace with God while I was among them. I endeavoured 
to form a regular circuit in these parts, and in a little time 
gained my point. 

I continued in these parts some time, and have rea- 
son to hope that I was useful among them. In one place 



MR. THOMAS MITCHELL. 231 

I met with a mob of women, who put me into a pond of 
water, which took me nearly over my head. But by the 
blessing of God I got out safe, and walked about three 
miles in my wet clothes, but I caught no cold. I con- 
tinued some time in these parts, encouraged by the exam- 
pie and good advice of Mr. Grimshaw. One time Paul 
Greenwood and I called at his house together, and he 
gave us a very warm exhortation, which I shall not soon 
forget. He said, " If you are sent of God to preach the 
Gospel, all hell will be up in arms against you. Prepare 
for the battle, and stand fast in the good ways of God, In- 
deed you must not expect to gain much of this world's 
goods by preaching the Gospel. What you get must come 
through the devil's teeth ; and he will hold it as fast as he 
can. I count every covetous man to be one of the devil's 
teeth. And he will let nothing go for God and his cause, 
but what is forced from him.'* 

In the year 1751 I was stationed in Lincolnshire. I 
found a serious people and an open door : but there were 
many adversaries. This was far the most trying year 
which I had ever known. But in every temptation God 
made a way to escape, that I might be able to bear it. 

On Sunday, August the 7th, I came to Rangdale. Very 
early in the morning, I preached as usual at five. About 
six, two constables came at the head of a large mob. — 
They violently broke in upon the people, seized upon me, 
pulled me down, and took me to a public house, where 
they kept me till four in the afternoon. Then one of the 
constables seemed to relent, and said, " I will go to the 
minister, and inquire of him whether we may not now let 
the poor man go 1" When he came back, he said " they 
were not to let me go yet." So he took me out to the 
mob, who presently hurried me away, and threw me into 
a pool of standing water. It took me up to the neck. — 
Several times I strove to get out, but they pitched me in 
again. They told me I must go through it seven times. 
I did so, and then they let me come out. When I had 
got upon dry ground, a man stood ready with a pot full 
of white paint. He painted me all over from head to foot ; 
and then they carried me into the public house again. — 
Here I was kept till they had put five more of our friends 
into the water. Then they came and took me out again, 



232 MR. THOMAS MITCHELL. 

and carried me to a great pond, which was railed in on 
every side, being ten or twelve feet deep : here four men 
took me by my legs and arms, and swung me backward 
and forward. For a moment I felt the flesh shrink ; 
but it was quickly gone. I gave myself up to the Lord, 
and was content his will should be done. They swung me 
two or three times, and then threw me as far as they could 
into the water. The fall and the water soon took away 
my senses, so that I felt nothing more. But some of them 
were not willing to have me drowned, so they watched 
till I came above water, and then catching hold of my 
clothes with a long pole, made shift to drag me out. 

I lay senseless for some time. When I came to my- 
self I saw only two men standing by me. One of them 
helped me up, and desired me to go with him. He 
brought me to a little house, where they quickly put me 
to bed. But I had not lain long before the mob came 
again, pulled me out of bed, carried me into the street, and 
swore they would take away one of my limbs, if I would 
not promise to come there no more. I told them " I could 
promise no such thing." But the man that had hold of 
me promised for me, and took me back into the house, and 
f)ut me to bed again. Some of the mob then went to the 
minister again, to know what they must do with me. He 
told them, "You must take him out of the parish." So 
they came and took me out of bed a second time. But I 
had no clothes to put on ; my own being wet, and also 
covered with paint. But they put an old coat about me, 
took me about a mile, and set me upon a little hill. They 
then shouted three times, " God save the king, and the 
devil take the preacher," and left me. Here they left me 
penniless and friendless : for no one durst come near me. 
And my strength was nearly gone ; so that I had much 
ado to walk, or even to stand. But from the beginning 
to the end my mind was in perfect peace. I found no an^ 
ger or resentment, but could heartily pray for my perse- 
cutors. But I knew not what to do, or where to go. In- 
deed, one of our friends lived three or four miles oif. But 
I was so weak and ill that it did not seem possible for me 
to get so far. However, I trusted in God, and set out : 
and at length I got to the house. The family did every 
thing for me that was in their power : they got me clothes^ 



MIt. THOMAS MITCHELL. 233 

and whatever else was needful. I rested four days with 
them, in which time my strength was tolerably restored. 
Then I went into the circuit, and (blessed be God !) saw 
much fruit of my labour. In the midst of persecutions 
many were brought to the saving knowledge of God. — - 
And as the sufferings of Christ abounded, so our conso- 
lations by Christ abounded also. As to the lions at Rang- 
dale, an appeal to the court of king's bench made both 
them and the minister quiet as lambs. 

Coming in December into Lancashire, I found trials of 
quite another kind. The poor people were in the utmost 
confusion, like a flock of frightened sheep. John Bennet, 
who before loved and reverenced Mr. Wesley for his 
work's sake, since he got into his new opinions hated him 
cordially, and laboured to set all the people against him. 
He told them in the open congregation that Mr. Wesley 
was a pope, and that he preached nothing but popery. — 
December the 30th I met him at Bolton. I desired him 
to preach ; but he would not. So I got up and spoke as 
well as I could, though with a heavy heart. After I had 
done, he met the society, and said many bitter things of 
Mr. Wesley. He then spread out his hands, and cried, 
" Popery, popery ! I will not be in connection with him 
any more." I could not help telling him, " The spirit in 
which you now speak is not of God. Neither are you fit 
for the pulpit while you are in such a spirit." While I 
was speaking, a woman that stood by me struck me in the 
face with all her might. Immediately all the congrega- 
tion was in an uproar. So I thought it best to retire. — ^ 
After, I believed it was my duty to expostulate with him. 
But it did not avail : it seemed to me that all love was de- 
parted from him. His mind was wholly set against Mr. 
Wesley, and against the whole Methodist doctrine and 
discipline. And he had infused his own spirit into the 
people in many places ; so that I had hard work among 
them. But the Lord kept my soul in peace and love.-^ 
Glory be unto his holy name ! 

In May, 1752, I came to Newcastle-upon-Tyne, where, 
after all the storms I had gone through, I was greatly 
refreshed among a loving, peaceable people, with whom 
I laboured with much satisfaction. And it pleased the 
Lord to prosper my labour in Berwick-upon-Tweed, 

20* 



234 MR. THOMAS MITCHELL. 

Grateshead-Fell, and many other places, where many 
sinners were .both convinced and converted to God. 

On May 8, 1753, I came with Mr. Wesley from New- 
castle to York. On the 12th he preached to a large con- 
gregation ; and the next morning from, " Let us come 
boldly to the throne of grace, that we may find mercy and 
grace to help in time of need." I never saw a congrega- 
tion so affected. Most of the people were in tears ; some 
for joy, and some from a sense of their sins. He had 
designed to go on to Lincolnshire. But through the im- 
portunity of the people he consented to stay a little at 
York, and desired me to go in his place. 

From the following conference, (at which fourteen 
preachers were present, beside Mr. Wesley and his bro- 
ther,) I went into Wiltshire, where Mr. Pearce of Brad- 
forth, was a father to me. Here I formed a firm resolu- 
tion of cleaving more closely to God than ever I had done 
before. I longed to be wholly freed from the enemies 
which I carried in my own bosom. I saw no other could 
possibly hurt me, if I could but conquer myself. I read 
the Bible much, and prayed much, and found rhany bless- 
ings from the Lord. And I found in particular an entire 
disengagement from all earthly things. My soul was even 
as a weaned child. I was willing to be any thing or no- 
thing. I had no desire for any thing in this world, but to 
live unto the glory of God. O how easy does it make 
every thing when we can give up all for Christ ! 

After I had spent some time in Devonshire and Corn- 
wall, I was sent for up to London. Here I had a fever 
for some time. When I was pretty well recovered, Mr. 
Wesley desired me to go down to Norwich. I was not 
well upon the road, but was abundantly worse when I 
came thither. But following the advice of a skilful man, 
I was in a little while restored to health and strength.— 
Here I found much comfort among a poor, but a very 
loving people. I was here (putting the first and the se- 
cond time together) about four years. But in the latter 
part of this time I had many trials from J. Wheatley's peo- 
ple. Mr. Wesley had been prevailed upon to take the 
Tabernacle, and to receive his people under his care. — 
Wheatley used to call them " his dear lambs," but such 
lionlike lambs did I never see. Discipline they knew 



MR. THOMAS MITCHELL* 235 

nothing of; every one would do what was right in his own 
eyes. And our doctrine was an abomination to them* 
Great part of them were grounded in Antinomianism* 
The very sound of perfection they abhorred ; they could 
hardly bear the word holiness. Nothing was pleasing to 
them but " faith, faith ;" without a word either of its in- 
ward or outward fruits. 

Between the first and second time of my being at Nor- 
wich, I spent some time in Sussex. The first place that 
I preached at was Rye, where no Methodist had ever 
preached before. Yet there was no opposition, but they 
received the word with joy and readiness of mind. And 
many soon felt the burden of their sins, several of whom 
quickly found peace with God. Most of these very wil- 
lingly joined together in a little society. Some of them 
are lodged in Abraham's bosom ; and others still remain 
walking in the way to Sion. Hence I went to several 
country places. But they were not all so peaceable as at 
Rye. At the desire of a serious man I went to Hawk- 
hurst : he had requested me to preach at his house. — 
About six in the evening I began. But I had not spoke 
many words before a numerous mob broke in, pulled me 
down from the place where I stood, and forced me out of 
the house. Then they struck up my heels, and dragged 
me upon my back about half a mile, to a public house 
called Highgate, where I found many gentlemen, with the 
minister of the parish. They asked, " By what authority 
do you preach ?" I answered, " By the authority of King 
George ;" and showed them my license. They spoke a 
little together, and said, " You may go about your busi- 
ness." But observing the house was filled with a drunks 
en mob, I said, " Gentlemen, I w ill not go unless I have a 
constable to guard me." They immediately sent for. a 
constable who guarded me to the house from whence I 
came. But, as it was winter time, and the road very dir- 
ty, I was in a poor condition ; being a good deal bruised, 
and all my clothes plastered over with dirt. However, 
after I had got some dry clothes, and taken a little refresh- 
ment, I prayed with the family, and then God gave me 
quiet and refreshing sleep. When I came to London I 
applied to a lawyer, who sent down writs for five of the 
ringleaders. But they quickly came to an agreement,— 



236 MR. RICHARD WHATCOAT. 

They readily paid all the charges. And here ended our 
persecution in Sussex. I found a thankful heart for a 
good king, good laws, and liberty of conscience. And 
about this time I had much of the presence of the Lord : 
he was good to me, both as to my body and soul. I prayed 
much, and the Lord heard me, and delivered me from all 
my fears. 

In August, 1778, I was stationed in Staffordshire, where 
I spent the year with much satisfaction. I now look back 
on the labour of three and thirty years, and I do not re- 
pent of it. I am not grown weary, either of my Master, 
or the work I am engaged in. Though I am weak in 
body, and in the decline of life, my heart is still engaged in 
the cause of God. I am never more happy than when I 
feel the love of Christ in my heart, and am declaring his 
praise to others. There is nothing like the love of Christ 
in the heart to make us holy and happy. It is love alone 
that expels all sin out of the heart. Wherever love is 
wanting there is hell : and where love fills the heart, there 
is heaven. This has been a medicine to me ever since 
I set out. When I was low, it was this that raised me 
up. When sin and Satan beset me on every side, it was 
this that drove them all away. 

O love, how cheering is thy ray ! 

All pain before thy presence flies ; 
Care, anguish, sorrow melt away 

Where'er thy healing beams arise. 
O Jesus, nothing may I see, 
Nothing hear, feel, or think, but thee.'^ 

T. M. 



MR. RICHARD WHATCOAT, 



I WAS born in the year 1730, in the parish of QuintoUf 
in the county of Gloucester, My father, dying while I 
was young, left a widow and five children. At thirteen 



MR. RICHARD WHATCOAT. 237 

years old I was bound apprentice, and served for eight 
years. I was never heard, during this time, to swear a 
vain oath, nor was ever given to lying, gaming, drunken- 
ness, or any other presumptuous sin, but was commended 
for my honesty and sobriety. And from my childhood I 
had, at times, serious thoughts on death and eternity. 

I served the greatest part of my aprenticeship at Darlas- 
ton, in Staffordshire. But at the age of twenty-one I re- 
moved from thence to Wednesbury. Here I found my- 
self in continual danger of losing the little religion I had, 
as the family in which I lived had no religion at all. — 
Therefore I took the first opportunity that offered of re- 
moving to another place. And a kind Providence di- 
rected me to a family that " feared God and wrought 
righteousness." 

I soon went with them to hear the Methodists, which I 
did with deep attention : and when the preacher was de- 
scribing the fall of man, I thought he spoke to me in parti- 
cular, and spoke as if he had known every thing that 
ever was in my heart. When he described the nature 
and fruits of faith, I was conscious I had it not ; and 
though I believed all the Scripture to be of God, yet I had 
not the marks of a Christian believer. And I was con- 
vinced that if I died in the state wherein I then was, I 
should be miserable for ever. Yet I could not conceive 
how I, that had lived so sober a life, could be the chief of 
sinners. But this was not long : for I no sooner disco- 
vered the spirituahty of the law, and the enmity that was 
in my heart against God, than I could heartily agree to 
it. The thoughts of death and judgment now struck me 
with terrible fear. I had a keen apprehension of the 
wrath of God, and the fiery indignation due to sinners : so 
that I could have wished myself annihilated, or to be the 
vilest creature, if I could but escape judgment. In this 
state I was when one told me, " I know God, for Christ's 
sake, has forgiven all my sins : and his S'pirit witnessetk 
with my spirit that I am a child of God.^^ This gave me 
a good deal of encouragement. And I determined never 
to rest until I had a testimony in myself that my sins also 
were forgiven. But in the meantime such was the dark- 
ness I was in, such was my consciousness of guilt, and 
the just displeasure of almighty God, that I could find no 



238 MR. RICHARD WHATCOAT. 

rest day or night, either for soul or body ; so that life 
was a burden, and I became regardless of all things under 
the sun. Now all my virtues, which I had some reliance 
on once, appeared as filthy rags. And many discouraging 
thoughts were put into my mind : as, " Many are called ; 
but few chosen. Hath not the potter power over his own 
clay, to make one vessel to honour, and another to dis- 
honour ?" From which it was suggested to me that I was 
"made to dishonour," and so must inevitably perish. 

On September 3, 1758, being overwhelmed with guilt 
and fear, as I was reading, it was as if one whispered to 
me, " Thou hadst better read no more ; for the more thou 
readest, the more thou wilt know ; and he that knoweth 
his Lord^s will and doth it not, shall be beaten with many 
stripes.'^^ I paused a little, and then resolved, let the con- 
sequence be what it may, I will proceed. When I came 
to those words, " The Spirit itself beareth witness w4th 
our spirits that we are the children of God," as I fixed my 
eyes upon them, in a moment my darkness was removed, 
and the Spirit did bear witness with my Spirit that I was a 
child of God. In the same instant I was filled with un- 
speakable peace and joy in believing : and all fear of death, 
judgment, and hell, suddenly vanished away. Before 
this I was kept awake by anguish and fear, so that I could 
not get an hour's sound sleep in a night. Now I wanted 
not sleep, being abundantly refreshed by contemplating 
the rich display of God's mercy, in adopting so unworthy 
a creature as me to be an heir of the kingdom of heaven ! 
This peace and joy continued about three weeks, after 
which it was suggested to me, " Hast not thou deceived 
thyself? Is it not presumption to think thou art a child of 
God? But if thou art, thou wilt soon fall away; thou 
wilt not endure to the end." This threw me into great 
heaviness : but it did not continue long. For as I gave 
myself unto prayer, and to reading and hearing the word 
of God at all opportunities, my evidence became clearer 
and clearer, my faith and love stronger and stronger. — 
And I found the accomplishment of that promise, " They 
that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength." Yet 
I soon found, that though I was justified freely, I was not 
wholly sanctified. This brought me into a deep concern, 
and confirmed my resolution to admit of no peace, no, nor 



MR. RICHARD WHATCOAT. 239 

truce with the evils which I still found in my heart. I 
was sensible both that they hindered me at present in all 
my holy exercises, and that I could not enter into the joy 
of my Lord, unless they were all rooted out. These con- 
siderations led me to consider more attentively the exceed- 
ing great and precious promises whereby we may escape 
all the corruption that is in the world, and be made 
partakers of the Divine nature. I was much confirmed in 
my hope of their accomplishment by frequently hearing 
Mr. Mather speak upon the subject. I saw it was the 
mere gift of God ; and consequently to be received by 
faith. And after many sharp and painful conflicts, and 
many gracious visitations, on March 28th, 1761, my spi- 
rit was drawn out and engaged in wrestling with God for 
about two hours, in a manner I never knew before. Sud- 
denly I was stripped of all but love. I was all love, and 
prayer, and praise. And in this happy state, rejoicing 
evermore, and in every thing giving thanks, I continued 
for some years, wanting nothing, for soul or body, more 
than I received from day to day. 

I began to look around, and to observe more than ever 
the whole world full of sin and misery. I felt a strong 
desire for others to partake of the same happiness with 
myself. I longed to declare unto them what I knew of 
our Saviour. But I first sat down to count the cost, and 
being then fully convinced of my duty, I began to exhort 
those of the neighbouring towns to " repent and beUeve 
the Gospel." This I did for about a year and a half; 
but was still convinced that I might be more useful as a 
travelling preacher. This I mentioned to Mr. Pawson, a 
little before the conference in 1769. A little after it he 
wrote and let me know that he had proposed me at the 
conference, and that I was accepted as a probationer, and 
stationed in the Oxfordshire circuit. Having settled my 
temporal affairs, with all the expedition I could, I went 
into the circuit and was received far better than I expect- 
ed. And I found that affection for the people which 
never since wore off. After spending some time very 
agreeably there, I believe to our mutual satisfaction, I 
removed to Bedford circuit, where I remained till the con- 
ference in 1774. I was then appointed for Inniskillen 
circuit, in the north of Ireland. This was a trial to me on 



240 MR. RICHARD WHATCOAT. 

several accounts. I was an utter stranger to Ireland, of 
which I had heard little good spoken : I had a great aver- 
sion to sea voyages. And what troubled me more than 
all was, that my mother was on her dying bed. But she 
knew and loved the work I was engaged in. So she wil- 
lingly gave me up to the Lord, though she did not expect 
to see me any more till we met in eternity. In this circuit 
I found many things that were not pleasing to flesh and 
blood. It took us eight weeks to go through it ; and in 
this time we slept in near fifty diflTerent places : some of 
them cold enough ; some damp enough ; and others not 
very clean. We commonly preached two or three times 
a day, beside meeting the societies and visiting the sick : 
and very frequently we had no other food than potatoes 
and a little salt meat. By this means, as my constitution 
was but weak, my strength was nearly exhausted. But 
it was an ample amends to see that the work of the Lord 
prospered in our hands. Upward of two hundred members 
were this year added to the society ; a great part of whom 
had found redemption through the blood of the covenant. 
And I was entirely willing to wear out my body in so 
blessed a work. But I was soon cut short : for before I 
got into the next circuit where I was stationed, namely, 
that of Armagh, my labour was at an end ; my body quite 
sunk under me. I was taken with an entire loss of appe- 
tite, a violent bleeding at the nose, and profuse night 
sweats, so that my flesh was consumed from my bones, 
and my eyes sunk in my head. My sight also failed me, 
so that I could not distinguish my most intimate acquaint- 
ance the breadth of a room. But although my life was 
quite despaired of, yet it pleased God to raise me up : and 
after a confinement of twelve weeks at Sydare, I removed 
into Armagh circuit. But, going out before I had suffi- 
ciently recovered my strength, the cold seized upon me, 
and caused such a humour to settle in my legs, that for 
some time I could not set my feet upon the ground. But 
my mind being set upon my work, I little regarded the 
pain of my body so long as I was able to sit on my horse, 
or stand and speak to the people. So, in about a fort- 
night, I went into my circuit again ; but in a fortnight 
more I was again disabled, the humour returning so vio- 
lently that I was laid up for eight weeks. But these 



MR. RICHARD WHATCOAT. 241 

afflictions were not grievous : they were all sweetened by 
the peace of God which I enjoyed, and the exceeding kind- 
ness of my friends where I was. Lord, remember them 
for good ! 

By my respite from preaching, while I travelled to 
Dublin, and afterward to London, and by the frequent use 
of bathing, both in salt and in fresh water, I gradually 
recovered my health. And I have great reason to bless 
God, who has preserved me during the eleven years I have 
been an itinerant preacher. In this time he has dehvered 
me from many troubles, both of body and mind. He has 
enabled me to persevere in my labour with a single eye. 
He has kept my heart disengaged from all creature loves, 
and all desire of worldly happiness. And I can still 
truly say,— 

Blest with the scorn of finite good, 
My soul is lighten'd of her load ; 
And seeks the things above. 

With the same work, and in the same spirit, may I fill 
up tne remnant of my days ! Then may I join the choirs 
around the throne, and give blessing, and glory, and wis- 
dom, and thanksgiving, and honour, and power, and might, 
unto God and the Lamb for ever and ever ! 

[Farther account of Mr Whatcoat, taken from the 
Minutes of the Methodist Conference, held in the United 
States of America, in the year 1807.] 

In the year 1784, Mr. Whatcoat came to the United 
States of America, and served the Methodist connection 
in various important stations, in cities, towns, circuits, and 
districts, with the pious fidelity of an apostolic man of 
God. Upward of six years in the latter part of his life, 
he served in the superintendency of the Church, till past 
the 70th year of his age. We will not use many words 
to describe this almost inimitable man ; so deeply serious : 
who ever saw him trifling or light ? who ever heard him 
speak evil of any person ? nay, who ever heard him speak 
an idle word? dead to envy, pride, and praise. Sober 
without sadness ; cheerful without levity ; careful without 
covetousness, and decent without pride. He died not 
possessed of property sufficient to have paid the expenses 
of his sickness and funeral, if a charge had been made : 

21 



242 MR. RICHARD WHATCOAT. 

SO dead was he to the world ! Although he was not a man 
of deep erudition, yet probably he had as much learning 
as some of the apostles and primitive bishops, and doubt- 
less sufficient for the word of the ministry. He was 
deeply read in the work of God : his knowledge in the 
Scriptures was so great, that one of his friends used to 
call him his concordance. He gave himself greatly to 
reading. Notwithstanding he was called to the office of 
an overseer at an advanced period of life, he magnified 
his office by travelling annually three or four thousand 
miles, through all the United States. A complication of 
painful and irresistible diseases, produced and aggravated 
by excessive travelling, closed the scene. He was a 
prodigy of pain and patience for thirteen weeks. He 
departed this life, in the full assurance of faith, July 5, 
1806, in the house of Richard Bassett, Esq., in Dover, 
Delaware state. He hath proved himself worthy the 
affection and confidence of the Methodist connection in 
Europe and America. But we cannot in a few lines 
speak his Christian and ministerial excellences. Indeed 
they cannot be fully enumerated ; for the man of deep 
piety frequently will not let his left hand know what his 
right h^nd doeth. Those who wish to see more of this 
Israelite indeed, may perhaps be favoured at some future 
period with a short account, written by himself, of his 
labours and travels in Europe and America, for about 
thirty-eight years. He professed the justifying and sanc- 
tifying grace of God, and all that knew him well might 
say, if a man upon earth possessed these blessings, surely 
it was Richard Whatcoat. 

March 30, 1807, at the place of his tomb, (Wesley 
chapel, in Dover,) Bishop Asbury made some funeral ob- 
servations upon the death of Richard Whatcoat, his faith- 
ful colleague, from 2 Tim. iii, 10 : " But thou hast fully 
known my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, long 
suflfering, charity, patience." " That he had known 
Richard Whatcoat from his own age of fourteen to sixty- 
two years, most intimately, and had tried him most accu- 
rately, in the soundness of his faith, in the doctrine of 
universal depravity, and the complete and general atone- 
ment. The insufficiency of either moral or ceremonial 
righteousness for justification, in opposition to faith alone 



MR. WILLIAM GREEN. 243 

in the merit and righteousness of Christ. The doctrine of 
regeneration and sanctification ; his holy manner of \[{e, 
in duty, at all times, in all places, and before all people, 
as a Christian and as a minister ; his long suffering, — a 
man of great affliction of body and mind ; having been 
exercised with severe diseases and great labours. But 
this did not abate his charity, his love of God and man in 
all its effects, tempers, \vords, and actions ; bearing with 
resignation and patience great temptations, bodily labours, 
and inexpressible pain. In life and death, placid and calm. 
A^ he lived so he died." 



MR. WILLIAM GREEN 



I WAS born in London, September 22, 1739. My 
mother, being pregnant with me, heard the first sermon 
which Mr. Wesley preached at the Foundry. Soon after, 
she found peace with God, and walked worthy of the 
Gospel to the day of her death, having been a member of 
the society upward of thirty years. 

I had the first part of my education at the Foundry 
school, so that I was early instructed in the principles of 
religion. But I was no better than if I had not been in- 
structed at all ; for God was not in all my thoughts. 
Between thirteen and fourteen I was put apprentice to a 
man who had some degree of the fear of God. For 
about three years he was able to manage me ; but after- 
ward I neither regarded the threatenings of my master, 
nor the counsel of an affectionate mother, but ran on in 
my own ways. When my apprenticeship was out, I was 
for ten years a faithful servant of the devil. But for the 
last two years, I was very far from being a willing cap* 
live ; one hour praying against sin, the next falling into 
it. I could truly say, " The good that I would, I do not ; 
but the evil which I would not, that I do." 

About July, 1770, a person lent me one of Mr, Wesley's 
journals. I read it with prayers and tears ; seeing 
much beauty in being persecuted for righteousness' sake. 



244 ME. WILLIAM GREEN. 

Soon after, I read Bishop Taylor's Rules for Holy Living 
and Dying : one passage struck me much : " A true lover 
of God is more grieved on account of an impure dream^ 
than one who does not love him is on account of a gross 
outward sin." And it put me upon praying earnestly, that 
God would give me his love. In August following, Mr. 
Wesley coming to town, I went with eagerness to hear 
him. His text was, " My son, give me thy heart." But 
he shot over my head ; I understood nothing about it. 
However, I went in the evening to Moorfields, and heard 
Mr. Murlin preach. And there it pleased God to touch my 
heart. I went directly home greatly affected : so that my 
wife, though a serious woman, could not imagine what was 
the matter with me. But these impressions wore off, and I 
still continued a slave to gaming, my besetting sin. How- 
ever, I continued to hear on Sundays, and was much 
pleased with what I heard. And after a time, my dear 
mother, by much persuasion, prevailed upon me too meet 
in a class. From this time my chains began to fall off. 
I think I had not met above three times, before all my 
outward sins left me, and I shook off all my old compa- 
nions. I was now a close attendant on all the means of 
grace. I clearly saw that I was a fallen spirit ; and I as 
clearly saw that religion was to restore me to that image 
of God from which I fell. It was now the fear of God took 
place in my soul. But in this I was greatly mistaken : 
I thought myself a good believer ; whereas I was then as 
ignorant of the nature of faith as I am now of Greek. 
Soon after, I heard Mr. Wesley preach on, " Believe in 
the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved." I listen- 
ed very attentively, but still could not find out what faith 
was. The same evening I went to Mr. Maxfield's chapel. 
He was preaching upon the same text. He said, " Faith 
is a Divine conviction, that Christ died for we." But I 
found I could no more give myself this conviction, than I 
could make a world. It was now the Holy Ghost con- 
vinced me of sin, because I believed not in Jesus. I went 
home in deep heaviness, and told my wife I was an unbe- 
liever, and that if I died as I was, I should go to hell. I 
was utterly slain by these words, " He that believeth not, 
shall be damned." For want of this conviction of unbe- 
lief, how many thousands stop short of saving faith ! 



MR. WILLIAM GREEN. 245 

But though I was so fully convinced of sin, I was so 
far from being discouraged, that I was all hope, knowing 
that if all the sins of the world were upon me, the mer- 
cies of God infinitely surpassed them all. 

About Christmas I went to hear the letters read. One 
of which gave an account of a wonderful work among 
the children at Kingswood, some of whom were deter- 
mined not to eat or sleep till they knew their sins were 
forgiven. I went home full of the spirit of mourning, 
and yet big with earnest expectation. The next day my 
sorrow was so great, that I could do no work ; till upon 
praying with a friend, the cloud began to disperse, and 
light broke into my soul. But I was determined not to 
be satisfied with any thing short of an assurance of par- 
don. In this situation of mind I went to bed. About 
two o'clock the next morning, December 30, 1770, I was 
awakened by a full sense of the love of God. The skies 
poured down righteousness into my soul, and I could 
boldly say, — 

For me I now believe he died ! 
He made my every crime his own. 

I was now happy in God ; his Spirit bearing witness 
with my spirit that I was a child of God. But about 
three days after, I was sorely tempted ; and a thought 
striking my mind that I was to be a preacher, this put me 
upon many reasonings, which strengthened the tempta- 
tion. I believe the thought was from God : yet for six 
weeks I was greatly perplexed. However, 1 never lost, 
for one moment, the sense of my acceptance. Yea, and 
I knew the work of the Spirit was going on, and felt the 
blessedness of enduring temptation. Being at Spitalfields 
on Sunday, I was greatly strengthened while those words 
were singing, — 

Even now the Lord doth pour 

His blessings from above, 
A kindly gracious shower 
Of heart-reviving love : 
The former and the latter rain, 
The love of God and love of man. 

My faith was strengthened, my peace flowed as a river, 
and I had a clearer view of a crucified Saviour. About 
this time a hymn book of Mr. Charles Wesley's fell into 

21* 



246 MR. WILLIAM GREEN. 

my hands, which speaks largely and particularly concern- 
ing entire sanctification. I read it with attention, and 
comparing it with the Scripture, a fair prospect opened to 
my view. At the same time I saw my vast distance from 
it, in a manner I never did before. And yet I wanted to 
see it more, and could not bow my knee, but words to this 
purpose flowed from my lips, — 

Show me, as my soul can bear, 

The depth of inbred sin: 
All the unbelief declare, 

The pride that lurks within. ' 

My prayer was answered : I had a surprising view of 
the total sinfulness of my heart. I knew this discovery 
was from God. I believed it possible to be saved from all 
sin before death. I believed it possible to be thus saved 
in a moment : and I beUeved that moment was near. So 
that I could cheerfully sing, — 

The glorious crown of righteousness 

To me reach'd out I view : 
Conqueror through him, 1 soon shall seize 
Anu wear it as my due. 

In this state of mind I went to Spitalfields chapel. Mr. 
Wesley's text was, " Now is the day of salvation." He 
addressed himself chiefly to believers. I found I was one 
to whom this word of salvation was sent. An inexpress* 
ible hunger and thirst after full salvation took place in 
my soul. And I thought, surely I shall be filled there- 
with. But the question is. When? The answer was. If 
thou canst beUeve, now is the day of salvation. And I 
was as clearly convinced of unbelief, as I was before my 
justification. God told me his time was now. Unbelief 
told me it was not now. O the wickedness of a heart 
that is but partially renewed in the image of God ! 

As I formerly felt that I only wanted faith in order tob« 
justified, so I now felt that I only wanted faith in order to be 
sanctified. But I knew every one that asketh receiveth. 
I therefore gave myself to prayer, nothing doubting but 
God would answer. For two days I prayed continually. 
I prayed in my shop : I prayed in the street : I prayed 
rising up : I prayed lying down. The Lord heard and 
answered me. At the end of two days, it seemed as if 
my strength failed me, and I could only say, " Lord, I 



MR. WILLIAM GEKEN. 247 

will believe: help thou my unbelief!" I was enabled to 
bring the words to the present moment. I felt that faith 
which bringeth salvation, and rejoiced with joy unspeak- 
able and full of glory. In that moment I was as clearly 
saved from sin as ever I was justified. And this blessing 
was bestowed upon me only eight weeks after the 
former. 

Sarely when God gives any blessing, it is his will that 
we shoidd keep it. But I did not keep this long. I fan- 
cied, because I had much love, I had much knowledge, 
and that therefore few could teach me. I forgot that I 
had need every moment of the intercession of Christ. 
And I fixed my own meaning on several texts of Scrip- 
ture, which exposed me to a flood of enthusiasm. This 
brought on some loving opposition from my brethren, 
which was not always received in the spirit of meekness. 
And I sunk lower and lower, till I had no longer any pre- 
tence to perfect love. But notwithstanding my great un- 
faithfulness, God did not wholly withdraw himself from 
me. I still retained a sense of acceptance, which indeed 
I have not lost an hour since I first received it. But yet 
I sensibly felt, that it is an evil and a bitter thing to sin 
against God. My natural tempers again prevailed, and 
I could not keep myself from idols. I was barely kept 
from outward sin. And this, I knew, was not by my own 
strength. 

Toward the latter end of the year 1774, it pleased God 
to stir me up anew. I was deeply convinced of my fall. 
I again felt foolish desires, the fear of man, and various 
other evils in my heart. And I could truly say, — 

'Tis wors3 than death my God to love, 
And not my God alone! 

Till that memorable day, December 12, 1774 ; yea, on 
the former part of that day, I was torn by unruly passions, 
by the love of the world, and a train of evils. Yet in the 
midst of all I poured out my soul to God in much prayer- 
In the midst of all a thought sprung up, <• I will go to the 
Tabernacle." I went, being still in the spirit of prayer. 
Mr. Joss preached from part of the fourth chapter to the 
Romans. Although I could not agree with him, that « all be- 



248 MR. WILLIAM GREEN. 

lievers are staggerers," yet his preaching so much below 
my experience was sanctified to me. I looked to God, 
and the spirit of suppUcation was poured into my soul. I 
was athirst for God, I opened my mouth wide, and indeed 
he filled it. He spoke to my heart, " I will cleanse thee 
from all thy filthiness and from all thine idols." These 
words passed my mind several times, before I attended to 
them. At length I started and thought, surely this is the 
voice of God to my soul. I determined to hold the pro- 
mise fast, though Satan endeavoured to tear it from me. 
This was about the middle of the sermon, the latter part 
of which was made very useful to me, the Spirit of God 
applying it in a higher sense than the preacher intended 
it. I went home, praying all the way, my whole atten- 
lion being fixed upon — 

The sure prophetic word of grace, 

That glimmer'd through my nature's night. 

I then felt unspeakable happiness in my deliverance. 
But a query came. " How will it be to-morrow ?" It was 
answered in my heart, " To-morrow shall be as this day, 
and much more abundant." The next morning I rose to 
the preaching with ease, which before seemed an impos- 
sibility. In the course of a day there are not wanting in 
a family many little trying circumstances* Some tempta- 
tions also to pride, to anger, and to self-will, presented 
themselves. But in all things I was more than conqueror. 
The fear of man was likewise removed, so that I could 
reprove, warn, and exhort every one. Meantime the 
promises flowed into my heart without obstruction. I 
easily perceived the change was universal, and felt that I 
was " cleansed from all my idols, and from all my filthi- 
ness." And I seemed to have light equal to my love ; so 
that in one week I had a clearer insight into the life of 
faith, than I had had for several years. Thus Jesus saves 
his people from their sins. 

My heart being thus set at liberty, a thought which 
I had years before, that it was the will of God I should 
be a preacher, returned with greater force than ever. — 
But I remembered, " He that believeth shall not make 
haste," and was thoroughly willing to wait God's time. 
I knew it was God's work, and his only, to make a preacher 



MR. WILLIAM GREEN. 249 

of the Gospel, and that the more passive I was, the more 
fit I should be for the Master's use. In this peaceful 
frame of mind I remained, attending to the leading of 
his Spirit, and the opening of his providence, till not long- 
after I went with some of our friends to a work house, 
where one of them preached. I felt great love to the poor 
people. As we were coming back one of our brethren 
asked me, "Are you willing to give them a sermon next 
Sunday morning ?" I looked upon this to be a call of 
Providence, and therefore durst not refuse it. So I went 
and spoke to them from these words, " Ask and it shall 
be given you :" and I had a testimony within that it 
pleased God. Not long after, being exceeding weary in 
body, and having much business upon my hands, my spirit 
sunk, and I thought, " How is it possible for me to work 
till twelve o'clock at night ? Besides, I am to preach at the 
work house in the morning." Just then the power of the 
Highest overshadowed me, and God spoke with power, 
" Lo ! I am with thee always." The words pointed me at 
first to the work I had to do the next morning. But I 
thought also, should not I expect power now to carry me 
through my business? Weariness vanished away, and I 
went on swiftly, for the grace of God carried me. In the 
morning I preached as I had appointed : when I had done, 
I thought, I have made a stammering piece of work : but 
that word was immediately applied, " The tongue of the 
stammerer shall speak plainly." From this time I con- 
stantly attended the work house, but was particularly 
careful to keep the life of God in my own soul. I saw 
religion was neither more nor less than the constant union 
of the soul with God, and used all diligence to shun those 
rocks on which I had split before. I laboured to retain a 
sense of the littleness of my understanding, that I might 
always be open to instruction : and I depended not on 
my grace or gifts, but upon the Giver, living by faith in 
the Son of God. 

As to the acting in a more public manner, I was entire- 
ly passive. I thought, if ever I do speak in public, I will 
be a preacher of God's making. In this spirit I continued 
till going to the Foundry one Saturday evening, I was in- 
formed that Mr. Wesley had appointed me to preach 



250 MR. WILLIAM GREEN. 

there the next morning. I was surprised : but I thought. 
How can I honour my spiritual father unless I do what he 
orders me? So I went and preached on, "The Lord 
whom ye seek shall suddenly come to his temple." For 
a minute after I had named my text I trembled and could 
hardly utter a word. But I then found help, and spoke 
about forty minutes without any difficulty. Afterward I 
preached at Bow, on, " Without holiness no man shall see 
the Lord." And after a few trials I was convinced that, 
provided his soul be truly alive to God, the life of a preacher 
of the Gospel is the happiest life under heaven. I was 
now received into the number of local preachers. But I 
was fearful of putting myself forward, lest I should run 
before the Spirit. I never asked to preach at this or the 
other place, receiving the appointment of the assistant as 
a call from God. How happy would it be for the preachers, 
if they were all to follow the guidance of the Spirit, rather 
than their own will ! Then nothing would come amiss. 
In a few months I preached in all the chapels in London, 
and when summer came on, in Moorfields, Marybonefields, 
and on Tower-hill : all the time blessing God for being 
kept from that false humility which shackles so many 1 
My unfitness never stood in my way. Indeed I cannot 
but think all who are called of God to preach, are in some 
way fitted for the work : if not, the Lord of the vineyard 
does not know his business ! However, sure I am, that 
humility of this kind is inconsistent with perfect love. I 
believe genuine humility makes a man invulnerable by 
the praise or dispraise of men. 

From this time I continued to preach, and to labour dili- 
gently with my hands, that I might provide things honest 
in the sight of all men, till in August, 1777, I was called 
to suffer the will of God, being about three months under 
a surgeon's hands ; he at last pronounced the case des- 
perate ; of which my wife informed me with tears in her 
eyes. In that instant three scriptures came to my mind : 
" All power is given to me in heaven and in earth. The 
things impossible with men are possible with God. The 
right hand of the Lord hath the pre-eminence ;" and I was 
fully assured I should not die ; meantime I suffered the 
will of God willingly, cheerfully, joyfully. By this illness 



MR. DUNCAN WRIGHT. 251 

I was cured of another disorder, which otherwise must 
have been my death, and was made more capable, both 
inwardly and outwardly, of doing the work I was called 
to. When I gathered strength I was advised to go into 
the country ; and being recommended to our friends at 
Dorking, I spent sixteen days with them. May God re- 
pay them for the love they showed me ! When I came 
back I was quite capable of my business, which I cheer- 
fully entered upon, being equally willing to work at my 
trade or to preach the Gospel. But in the latter end of 
July, 1780, one asking me whether I had no thoughts of 
being a travelling preacher, I owned I had : and having 
just buried two of my children, I thought the time was 
come. I was accordingly proposed at the Bristol con- 
ference, and appointed for the Salisbury circuit. Many 
of my prudent friends blamed me much for leaving a quiet, 
comfortable business. But I had counted the cost. So on 
Monday, September 11, I set out for Salisbury. When I 
left my wife and three children, I felt a mixture of joy 
and grief, but with a full resignation to the will of God, 
I have been about five months in my circuit, and am more 
convinced that this is the pleasantest life under heaven. — 
Though I have left my wife and children, and dearest 
friends, and house and business, and wander about, chiefly 
on foot, through cold and rain, I find my mind uninter- 
ruptedly happy : I feel a constant witness of the work 
wrought in my heart by the Spirit of holiness. I have 
received in this world a hundredfold ; and I know that 
when my earthly house of this tabernacle is dissolved, I 
have a building of God ; a house not made with hands, 
eternal in the heavens ! 



MR. DUNCAN WRIGHT 



I WAS born May, 1736, in the kirk town of Fortingale, 
near the river Lyon, and not far from the lovely banks of 
the "soft-windingTay," Breadalbin, Perthshire. I claim 
kindred to the Stuart, M'Donald, and McGregor families ; 



252 MR. DUNCAN WRIGHT. 

perhaps more famed in story for martial exploits than for 
any extraordinary attainments in religion. 

It might have been better for me to have had a hardy 
Higliland education ; but of this I was deprived by the 
removal of my parents to Edinburgh, when I was very 
young. Here I had the best education my father could 
give, who was my onl}^ schoolmaster. He was esteemed 
a pretty good scholar ; but I doubt knew little of the Ufe 
and power of religion. Yet he prayed with us at times, 
made us learn the Assembly's Shorter Catechism, and 
took care of us to the best of his knowledge. I lost him 
early, which was a loss indeed ! For my mother, being too 
easy and indulgent, let us have our own way, which led 
us to all the follies and sins we were capable of I do 
not remember that any creature took any pains to instruct 
me till I was near twenty years of age, but old Lady D., 
of Preston Field, who at times advised me as well as she 
could. And yet the Lord did not leave me without draw, 
ings from above : for having a bookish inclination, I read 
and wept very often till my head ached, and hardly knew 
what ailed me ; only I wanted to be a Christian, and to 
be easy and happy, but knew not how. Had any living 
Christian taken a little pains to inform me, I doubt not 
but I should have embraced the offers of mercy long be- 
fore I did. Indeed I never felt any spirit of opposition to 
religion and religious persons. For as I had neither the 
form nor the power of religion myself, I knew I had little 
reason to speak an unkind word of those that had any 
appearance of either. 

I was from my infancy feeble and tender : yet, having 
many relations in the army, no employment would relish 
with me but a soldier's life ; hence my mother never could 
prevail with me to follow any regular business, and this 
exposed me to vain and wicked company. Yet, having 
some tenderness of conscience left, repenting and sinning, 
resolving and breaking through my resolutions, made my 
life a weariness indeed. So in order to be happy, I re- 
solved to see the world in a military life. Hence I en- 
listed, the latter end of 1754, in the tenth regiment of foot. 
None of my friends knew what was become of me till I 
wrote to my mother from Limerick, in Ireland. My mo- 
ther being infirm, did not survive this long ; she died the 



MR. DUNCAN WRIGHT. 253 

spring following : and I fear my disobedience hastened 
her departure. An awakened conscience will smart, first 
or last, for this sin among others, stubbornness and dis- 
obedience to parents. So did mine ; for the day I en- 
listed, I thought, now I have done for soul and body : 
for I could form no conception how a soldier could be 
religious. 

In the summer of 1755 we encamped near the city 
Cashel ; eight regiments of foot, and two of horse, Avhere 
William Coventry, a corporal in the Royal Scotch, fre- 
quently preached. I heard him once, and felt nothing 
but a kind of wonder at his courage in preaching among 
such a set as we were. I little thought that, in less than 
four years, I should be engaged in the same work in ano- 
ther camp. 

We returned to Limerick for winter quarters, where I 
began to consider, (as the soldiers had then a great deal 
of leisure time in the winter,) how I should pass my te- 
dious moments ; I could play at cards, and other games, 
(then common among the soldiers, but now happily sup- 
pressed,) but I seldom liked my company. For though I 
could swear sometimes, yet I could not relish so much of 
it as they were addicted to. I therefore bought and bor- 
rowed all the plays, novels, and romances I could lay my 
hands upon ; reading late and early. And my reading 
had this effect, at least, that it kept me out of worse di- 
versions ; and gave my mind a turn above such intem- 
perance and lewdness as were too common among men 
of my rank> 

At last an old soldier, in the same barrack room with 
me, found fault with me for spending my time and spoil- 
ing my eyes in reading such trash. I thought, I will 
show you I can read religious books as well as others. 
But I had none of my own. I borrowed two from one of 
our soldiers. One of them was the Marrow of Modern 
Divinity, which being wrote by way of dialogue, attract- 
ed my attention ; and before I read it half through, I was 
truly thouo^h gently convinced that I was a lost sinner, 
and that Christ was all I wanted to make me easy, satis- 
tied, and happy. 

Now it was that a deep sense of my time, youth, and 
health, spent in sin and folly ; my ingratitude to God, the 

22 



254 MR. DUNCAN WRIGHT. 

best of fathers ; my slighting of Christ so long, and 
grieving the blessed Spirit, melted my heart, and made my 
eyes a fountain of tears. I awoke as from a dream, and 
saw all about me, like the men of Sodom, blind, and gro- 
ping about for happiness ; or asleep, with storms of wrath 
ready to burst upon their heads. The immediate conse- 
quence was, a distaste to all my books and diversions. — 
I exchanged them for religious tracts ; and having a pray- 
ing heart, it soon found a praying place ; for as I had no 
place of retirement in my room, I found a covered battery 
on the castle wall. This soon became my closet ; and 
when on guard, I used to cover my head with my watch 
cloak, and stopping my ears with my fingers, spent many 
a happy moment in converse with God, weeping and 
making supplication. 

Although I now forsook, in a sense, all for Christ, yet 
there was, at times, such a mixture of seriousness and 
levity, that some might conclude I had no tincture of the 
fear of God. But my trifling in the day made me often 
water my couch with tears at night. But I had none to 
guide me ; I did not know a man among seven hundred 
that had any knowledge of such a work as I now felt in my 
mind. There was one, indeed, who I thought must have 
something in him, because he was sober, and read good 
books. But when I began to tell a little of what I felt, I 
found him an entire stranger to every thing of the kind. 
However, the Lord made up the want of Christian fellow- 
ship by sending me such books, from time to time, as sur- 
prisingly suited my case ; particularly Alleine's Alarm, 
which proved of wonderful service to me. Among his 
directions for conversions, he advises the reader to enter 
into covenant with God ; a form of which he has there 
given. I took the advice, set apart a day of fasting and 
prayer, wrote the covenant and signed it, and it was not 
long before the Lord showed me he did not despise the 
day of small things. 

There was a society of Methodists in the town, but I 
knew them not ; and when I did, they were such objects 
of universal contempt, that I hardly knew what to make of 
them ; however the last night of this year I ventured to 
go, and heard Mr. Oddie. I likewise began the year 
1756 with them, and from that time never missed an op- 



MR. DUNCAN WRIGHT. 255 

portunity of hearing, morning and evening. I think it 
was in April, this year, that the Lord justified me by his 
grace. I used to spend all my time in bed, while awake, in 
weeping and prayer : and it was in one of these weeping 
nightjs that in an instant the Lord brought me out of dark- 
ness into his marvellous light. I did not know then what 
to call it ; but its effects were many ; I found an uncom- 
mon concern for the souls of the soldiers ; and the sight 
of a Methodist used to set my heart on fire with love. Yet 
for a half a year, not a soul of them spoke a word to me, 
though I sometimes threw myself in their way. For, much 
did I long to be acquainted with them, but my shyness 
was such that I could not break through to speak to them. 

Mr. John Wesley and Mr. Thomas Walsh made us a 
visit this summer ; and O what a heaven upon earth did 
I feel in hearing them ! and yet I could not speak to them 
for my life. At length that serious man, Mr. Thomas 
Seccombe, took notice of me, and when he was about to 
leave Limerick, desired Sidney Hoey, (a mother in Israel 
she was to me and many of the soldiers,) to get acquaint- 
ed with me. She brought me to her house, and the same 
day to a class meeting, which was a day of gladness to 
me ; for I had often found Solomon's words fulfilled, 
<* Wo to him that is alone when he falleth." For when I 
fell into perplexities and temptations, I had no one to help 
me ; but now I found the real benefit of having fellowship 
with a loving people. 

Part of 1757 and 58 I spent at Dublin, and found their 
fellowship there also of very great service. The preach- 
ers were lively, and faithful lovers of discipline. The 
society retained much of their simplicity and teachable- 
ness, and were in a good degree prepared for the blessed 
revival which followed some time after, under Mr. John 
Manners. 

It was of uncommon advantage to me to be among the 
Methodists at a time when both the preachers and people 
loved all our discipline and practised it. I saw the blessed 
consequences ; for few cared to stay among us, but such 
as retained their fervour for the whole of religion. False 
brethren especially were soon tired, and went to the In- 
dependents, Anabaptists, or Moravians. But with great 
simplicity we used to crowd to the sacrament of St. Pa, 



256 MR. DUNCAN WRIGHT. 

trick's in Dablin ; or the cathedral at Limerick, every 
Sabbath. These were happy times to me ; for although 
I was bred a Presbyterian, (if I was bred any thing,) 
yet the love of God threw down the wall of partition, and 
made me love to be there where I found most of the peo- 
ple of God. I soon saw our plan to be more noble than 
any poor narrow dissenting scheme whatever, as intend- 
ing the good of thousands and tens of thousands, in the 
great bodies of the established Churches ; and I am still 
convinced that our present situation is infinitely better 
calculated for general good than the best planned separa- 
tion that can be conceived. 

What occasioned my commencing a preacher, was as 
follows : — In September, 1758, we returned to Limerick ; 
and as government resolved to shoot a deserter in every 
city, in terrorem, the lot fell on a young man in our regi- 
ment to die in Limerick. His name was Joseph Newton ; 
he was a Derbyshire man, twenty-two years of age. I 
longed to talk with him ; but as he was kept in a public 
guard house, with no place of retirement, I could not tell 
how to speak or pray with him, among so many people. 
But when I found that the adjutant had been to inform him 
that he must die on Monday, (this was on the Tuesday 
before,) I saw I had no time to lose. I went in, and 
found him weeping as if his heart would break, and read- 
ing the Whole Duty of Man with all his might : like a 
drowning man catching at any thing to save him. I spoke 
a few words to him then, and again in the evening, though 
with uncommon reluctance, there being many soldiers 
around us. I prayed with him, and found very great free- 
dom to speak to him, and to all that were present. He 
had no plea, but saw himself an undone sinner without 
help, and almost without hope. Some of us visited him 
twice or thrice a day, and on Thursday his soul was set 
at liberty. From that time he witnessed a good confes- 
sion to all that spoke to him. Every one who saw him 
go to the place where he was shot, could not but admire 
the serene joy that appeared in his countenance. He said 
but little ; but his calm, happy death made a deep impres- 
sion on many of our soldiers ; for they could not but dis- 
cern the difference between him and one they saw die 
awhile before at Dublin, who showed the greatest reluc- 



MR. DUNCAN WRIGHT. 257 

tance, the field officer of the day being obliged to ride up 
to him several times to tell him he must die ; while Joseph 
Newton was not above i^n minutes on his knees before 
he dropped the signal, and went to paradise. 

I thought now was the time to try what could be done 
among the soldiers. I therefore told several, that as many 
as had a mind might come to my room every night after 
roll-calling, and I would sing, read, and pray with them 
as well as I could. They came and crowded my room, 
and in a little while I had a class of them. But about 
the beginning of the year 1759, I was ordered for Scot- 
land on the recruiting service. I found this not to be 
easy work for a Christian, yet, through mercy, I was 
kept from outward sin. 

After an absence of four months, the French being ex- 
pected to invade Ireland, we were ordered to join the regi- 
ment, which lay encamped near Kilkenny, and I found my 
little flock, having had no one to look after them, were 
all scattered. The first morning we met (in a field ad- 
joining) there were but three of us. But our number in- 
creased every time we met ; and before our camp broke 
up, I had a little society gathered again. And here it was 
that I got the name of a preacher : for it being frequently 
late in the evenings before we could meet, before I had 
sung and prayed, our light was gone out, so that I could 
not see to read, but was obliged to say something to them 
without a book, or send them away empty. 

It was well I did not begin to preach among very know- 
ing men, for they might soon have silenced me, as a little 
thing would have done it : but here there was none to 
hinder me but the commanding officer, and he did not 
choose to do it. Though he did not like the Methodists^ 
yet he wanted us all to be very good, as we did not know 
how soon our valour might be tried by the French. — - 
Therefore we had very strict orders against swearing, 
drunkenness, <Si;c., but these orders did not effect any great 
reformation. When we left the camp, as we still expected 
an invasion, we were scattered abroad in cantonments all 
over the south of Ireland. This hurt such of us as were 
weak in the faith very much. None can tell, but such as 
have tried, how hard it is for a soldier to stand his ground 
among so many unreasonable, as well as ungodly men ; 

22* 



258 MR. DUNCAN WRIGHT. 

for such were most of the officers as well as soldiers — mem 
whose tender mercies were cruel. 

I had myself suffered much loss in my mind for a year, 
and consequently had little inclination for preaching. — - 
Hence w^hen we got the route for Galway I was not at all 
sorry that there was no society to enlist me to preach 
among them. Even my friends among the officers were 
much concerned for me : as many sergeants were preferred 
to commissions, they said, they doubted they could do 
nothing for me, as I made myself so ridiculous. Indeed 
this did not move me. But my unhappiness of mind was 
the great hinderance to my preaching. Yet in Galway 
it was that I had the most clear, undoubted seals to my 
mission, in the conviction and conversion of souls who 
had never heard any other Methodist preacher. Some 
of them are a comfort to me to this day ; and some are 
fallen asleep in Jesus. 

In 1761 we marched for Dublin again, and the follow- 
ing year back to Galway. All this time, from 1758 to 
1763, I walked in darkness, and had no light. I fell into 
it by degrees, bat by what particular thing I am at a loss 
to know. But this I know, my case was truly deplora- 
ble ; and yet I did not give w^ay to any known sin ; neither 
did I miss any means of grace. Nay, I often went to the 
Lord's table, when, to all sense and feeling, I was as dead 
as a stone. My gracious tears were all dried up. My 
stony heart could not melt. And yet I heard the greatest 
preachers, read the best books I knew, and conversed or 
corresponded with the most gracious Christians I could 
hear of. Nay, I frequently exhorted or preached the whole 
time ; yea, and in that season had apparent success to my 
labours. I remark this to refute an idle conceit, " that 
none are fit to teach others, but such as are happy them- 
selves." I know that many times, though I forgot it while 
preaching, I was as miserable as a devil, both before and 
after. And it was often suggested to me, "Judas may 
cast out devils, and notwithstanding all this, be only an 
outcast." I often saw myself like one enclosed all around 
" with hewn stone, my strength and my hope perished from 
the Lord." As I knew very little of myself w^ien the 
Lord justified me, he saw good to show me now my utter 
helplessness, by leading me into the painful school of 



MR. DUNCAN WRIGHT. 259 

self-knowledge. And a dull scholar I proved to be ; be- 
ing five years in learning what others have learned in less 
than five months. 

Yet notwithstanding my wretchedness, our little society 
at Galway was wonderfully blessed. As there was about 
this time a glorious revival in many parts of the three king- 
doms, I communicated to them, from time to time, the in- 
telligence I received of the work, and the fire soon kindled 
among them also. All were happy, or in earnest but me^ 
and I durst tell very few my sad case, for fear of hurting 
them. This was often the language of my heart : 

My soul in sin so rooted stands, 

No common miracle can move, 
I know my spirit's cure demands 

The whole omnipotence of love. 

But whether thou hast ever heal'd 

A spirit so desperate as mine, 
It lies, alas, from me conceal'd, 

In lowest depth of love Divine. 

If it be asked, what could induce me to continue in the 
means of grace ] I answer, I never doubted my former 
experience of the truth and reality of religion ; and (beside 
an unseen hand that upheld me) I retained a full convic- 
tion, that in the favour of God alone there w^as life and 
happiness. So I was determined to be happy in the favour 
of God, or refuse every other comfort. It was when I 
was thus in darkness, and in the deep, that the Lord, in a 
moment, " restored to me the joy of his salvation." This 
was like a plenteous shower upon a parched and dry 
land, that soon made my soul like a " watered garden." 
The Lord now " led me into green pastures, beside the 
still waters." What a change was this ! The soul that 
was before all tumult and confusion, was now all joy 
and peace through believing. This was about June, 1763. 
And yet I soon found I had not attained what J. Dillon 
and S. Hoey informed me they had attained, viz., " a 
mind constantly stayed upon God, and kept in perfect 
peace." 

Being about this time confined to my room, by a vio- 
lent inflammation in my cheek, my pain made me pray the 
more earnestly that the peace of God might keep my 
heart and mind also. The Lord heard, and gave me a 



260 MR. DUNCAN WKIGHT. 

glorious answer. I felt such a sudden, and such a de- 
lightful change as I never before conceived possible. My 
joy was unspeakable ; my hope full of immortality ; and 
my peace flowed like a river. I then understood those 
words as I never did before, " We all, with open face, be- 
holding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed 
into the same image, from glory to glory, even as by the 
Spirit of the Lord." 

Just then we were ordered to the north of Ireland, to 
quell a set of rioters called the ''hearts of oak." Being 
something better, I marched on till we came to Carrick 
on Shannon, when our surgeon told me I must go no far- 
ther, at the peril of my life. My excessive pain, and the 
being left behind, would at some other times have tried 
me sufficiently : but now, 

" All was calm, and joy, and peace." 

And here it was that 1 first understood how the blessed 
martyrs could clap their hands in the flames ; for although 
for some nights my pain was excruciating, yet all was 
tranquillity within. The little society here, and the M'Neily 
family in particular, took remarkable care of me. "The 
Lord grant they may find mercy of him in that day." — 
This state continued several months ; but having none to 
direct me, and not being sufficiently aware of the need 
there was for constant watchfulness and prayer, I fell by 
degrees from that heaven of love. 

In the beginning of 1764 I was called to saffer a little 
for the testimony of Jesus. And indeed but a little ; for 
what were a few threatenings, a little reproach and shame, 
a few stones, or rotten eggs, to what many of the dear 
servants of God have suftered even in this age ? Our 
lieutenant colonel did not care what a soldier's religion 
was, provided he did his duty ; but our major, a warm 
blunderer, to whom the command of the regiment was 
left for a time, thought it a disgrace to have a sergeant a 
preacher among them. He therefore resolved to drive 
me out of preaching if possible. I shall not enter upon 
a detail of the several means he used for this purpose, as 
I believe he was ashamed of them himself before I left 
him. He found me so much the soldier, however, as not 
to be frightened out of what I thought was my dutVo. 



MR. DUNCAN WRIGHT. 261 

Yet I found it no easy matter to walk the streets of Newry, 
a gazing stock to both old and young. At last, as he 
found he could not prevent my preaching, he hit upon a 
method to get quit of me : namely, to put me into the tenth 
company, which w^as soon to be reduced. And thus it 
was that the Lord " thrust me out into the harvest :" for I 
was determined not to leave the army, till some clear pro- 
vidence set me free. Before the time came for the reduc- 
tion of the company, some of the friendly officers wanted 
me to stay, and said they would get the major to put some 
old sergeant in my place. I begged they would not, and 
they acquiesced. Some of them, indeed, wished I could 
persuade all their men to be religious, for they had no 
trouble with the Methodist soldiers, but enough with the 
others. Yet they told me they feared what our enthusiasm 
would turn to : and mentioned Cromwell, who could 
preach and pray one part of the day, and kill and plunder 
the other. Never were words more applicable to these 
fearful men than the following : — 

The same in your esteem, 

Falsehood and truth ye join : 
The wild pretender's dream 
* And real work Divine ; 

Between the substance and the show 

No diiferenca 3^ou can find, 
For colours all, fall well we know, 

Are equal to the blind. 

Were the chaplains men of real piety and courage, 
much good might be done in the army ; but the chaplaincy 
is generally a kind of sinecure, and the care of souls is 
left to any worthless wretch, that will do it at an easy- 
rate. When we lay in one city, the care of four or five 
regiments was left to an unhappy man, w^ho was an object 
of common ridicule among the soldiers, for his perpetual 
drunkenness. But although my commanding officer could 
not hinder me from preaching, and God gave me to see 
the fruit of my labours, yet I was not thoroughly satisfied 
in my own mind that it was my duty to preach ; but this 
spring, at Waterford, God revived his work w-onderfully 
among that society, and set my mind free from every 
scruple ; so that w^hen Mr. Wesley wrote me word, that 
if I left the army, he had immediate work for me, I had 
no objection but the precarious state of my health : for by 



262 MR. DUNCAN WRIGHT. 

preaching loud and long, and by reading at all hours, I 
had brought myself so low, that our surgeon sometimes 
thought me in a consumption. Mr. Wesley told me in 
his answer to my objection, " that our Master had all 
power in heaven, and in earth, and that as my day, so 
should my strength be.'' And in the latter end of 1764, 
I found myself at liberty to go where Providence directed. 

I was now entering upon a new scene of life, and 
though I was now twenty-eight years of age, I was an 
utter stranger to mankind : hence I imagined that blunt 
honesty, with innocency, would bear me through any 
thing ; but I have since learned that we need the wisdom 
of the serpent, as well as the innocence of the dove, in our 
dealings with men, even about their souls. I mention 
this as an apology for some parts of my conduct, which 
had not always a due mixture of calm wisdom ; my native 
impetuosity often hurrying me beyond the bounds of mo- 
deration ; a thing too common with well meaning, zealous 
young men. I would observe farther, that I was kept in 
such watchfulness and tenderness of conscience, nine years 
after I knew something of religion among the soldiery, as 
to my grief and shame I have not always retained since 
that period. I was then continually among the open ene- 
mies of religion, which partly obliged me to vigilance, but 
being since then chiefly among the professed friends of 
religion, how often have I been off my watch ! O where 
are we safe beyond the power of sinning, but in pa- 
radise ! 

When I came to Dublin, our society and preachers re- 
ceived me in the kindest manner, and a comfortable time 
I spent with them that winter. One of our captains, 
without my knowledge, now recommended me to a late 
nobleman, who he told me had an easy place for me, and 
desired my answer in two or three days. I thanked him, 
and told him I had chosen another employment. Here I 
was acquainted with Dr. Davis, whose case is worth re- 
lating. He was formerly remarkable for a peculiar lively 
turn of wit on all occasions, and happy was the company 
that could get him to spend the evening with them. But 
being persuaded by a friend to hear John Carr, one of our 
local preachers, his companions, alas ! lost their merry- 
andrew. He told me that he went to see the preacher, 



MR. DUNCAN WRIGHT. 263 

merely to take him off, as he expressed it : " but," said 
he, " while I was leaning on my cane, looking at him 
through my fingers, during his first prayer an arrow went 
to my heart, which sent me home bruised and wounded." 
He then sought the true Physician, who soon brought him 
to a healthful mind. The regiment of dragoons, of which 
he was surgeon, marched into Dublin while I was there. 
One day, being at the soldiers' infirmary, a serious man, 
the porter of the house, one Francis May, said to him, 
Sir, we want prayer and a word of exhortation very much 
in this house ; would you pray with two or three, sir, if I 
get them together ? Really, Frank, said the doctor, " I 
never prayed in my life but with two or three serious peo- 
ple, and I know not how to begin with any other." Sir, 
said Frank, it is high time you should begin. Begrn to- 
day, sir, begin now ! The doctor was prevailed on. Away 
went Frank, and informed them through all the house, that 
Dr. Davis was going to preach to them. Down came 
every soul that could crawl ; the sick, the lame, and the 
lazy, to the long room, where the chaplain used to read 
prayers. Away came Frank to the doctor. Now, sir, 
said he, " I have got a few of them." When the doctor 
came te the room door, and saw the place full, he was for 
going back. Nay, sir, said Frank, " You cannot go back 
for your life ! There they are : the Lord has delivered 
them into your hands, and will you start from his work?" 
In short, the doctor went in, stood on a form, sung and 
prayed ; and having his pocket Bible with him, he read a 
portion to them, discoursed an hour and a half, and from 
that time preached to the soldiers wherever he could. As 
I knew his dangerous situation, I was a Uttle afraid for 
him. But God took care of him ; for going to visit some 
prisoners in Newgate, who had a malignant fever, he 
caught the infection, and finished his course, rejoicing in 
God his Saviour. 

We had several remarkable conversions while I was in 
Ireland. One or two more may be mentioned. We often 
think it lost labour to talk to a man about his soul while 
drunk ; but I know to the contrary. I knew one in the 
north of Ireland, who, going home one summer evening, 
much in liquor, saw a crowd of people on a green at some 
distance ; and imagining it to be a cock-fight, he would 



264 MR. DUNCAN WRIGHT. 

see it before he went home. The preacher being in the 
appUcation of his discourse said, " Are there any drunk- 
ards here?" &c. The poor fellow looking up, said, 
" Yes, I am one." At that instant he was seized with 
such concern for his soul, as never left him till he became 
a new man. 

I add another remarkable case. We had a little society 
in the county of Wexford, who used to be much pestered 
with a Popish mob. They met in a long barn, with the 
door near one end. The rabble wanted sadly to know 
what they did at their private meetings ; but as the barn 
belonged to one that was no Methodist, they durst not 
break open the door. At length they contrived that one 
of them should get into the barn before the people came, 
and let his companions in at a proper time. To conceal 
himself the better, he got into a sack, and lay down be- 
hind the door. When the society were all in, they fast- 
ened the door as usual. Soon after came the mob, halloo- 
ing and shouting to their friend to let them in ; but God 
found other work for him ; for being charmed with the first 
hymn, he thought it a thousand pities (as he afterward 
said) to disturb them while singing it. And when the prayer 
began, the power of G*od did so confound him that he roared 
out with might and main, and, not having power to get 
out of the sack, lay bawling and screaming. At last one 
ventured to see what was the matter, and helping him out, 
brought him up confessing his sins and crying for mercy, 
which was the beginning of a lasting work in his soul. 

But to return. This winter, three of the preachers go- 
ing to Chapel-Izod, where one of them was to preach, as 
there was room in the coach, they invited me to accom- 
pany them. A river through which we were to pass hap- 
pened to overflow part of the road. Our coachman, think- 
ing to drive in the most shallow water, drove near a wall ; 
but the wheels turning on a large stone, overset us. 
Through mercy we got out, with little more damage than 
being well wet ; but the coachman stood up to the neck, 
like one distracted crying " Murder ! Murder !" At last he 
got out, and then I and two others (Mr. Johnson and 
Dempster) walked home, and were no worse. 

In the spring, there being no preacher in the Waterford 
circuit, I went thither, and spent some time very agreea- 



3IR. DUNCAN WRIGHT. 265 

ably among my former acquaintances. And now it was 
that I saw what spirit many of the Irish papists were of. 
While I carried a sword by my side, few of them cared 
to speak their minds ; but now, that restraint being remov- 
ed, several of them told me to my face that they thought it 
would be doing both God and the Church service to burn 
all such as me in one fire ! The infatuation of many of 
them, owing to the ignorance they are kept in, cannot be 
described ; for upon the least pretence, and often without 
any, they rise in large parties, well armed, to destroy the 
lives and properties of their neighbours, oppose the magis- 
tracy, and even insult the army. 

About this time, a party of the light horse, being on 
foot, were conveying one of the " Whiteboys" to Kil- 
kenny jail. In going through a village, the papists cross- 
ed the way with a mock funeral. When they had got the 
soldiers in the midst, they threw down their coffin full of 
stones, and fell on old and young, with the greatest fury. 
The soldiers defended themselves till the sergeant and 
three or four more were killed, and several desperately 
wounded. For this, five of them were hanged at Kilken- 
ny. They all died " innocent (they said) as the child 
unborn !" So did five more, who were executed a little 
while before, for burning a mill, and burying the miller up 
to the neck. I could not understand, at first, how most 
of the papists that die here, by the hands of the execu- 
tioner, die declaring their innocency, till I found out the 
secret : having confessed all their crimes to the priest, and 
received his absolution, they believed; themselves guilt- 
less, and were forbid to make confession to the heretics. 
However, we had the comfort to see several of them 
brought to the experience of real Christianity. And there 
is no doubt but if there were a few preachers of Mr. 
Walsh's spirit, we should see many more. 

Mr. Wesley having signified to me, some time before, 
that I might travel with him if I had a mind, I gladly em- 
braced the opportunity, and met him at Limerick, in June, 
1765. This and the next year I had an opportunity of 
seeing most of our large societies in the three kingdoms ; 
and had my health, capacity, and industry, kept pace with 
my opportunities, it might have been a time of extraordi- 
nary improvement. Beside all other advantages, I had 

23 



266 ME. DUNCAN WRIGHT. 

constantly before me such an example of redeeming time 
as I hope will be of service to me while I live. But 
however profitable my travelling with Mr. Wesley might 
be, as the exercise was too much, I was obhged to give 
it up. It was also of service to me to spend some time 
in London, among some of our old, happy Methodists ; 
who bore with my weaknesses, and by their prayers and 
example confirmed me more and more in the truth as it 
is in Jesus. 

What the Lord has been doing by me in Kent, Essex, 
Norwich, Manchester, Macclesfield, in the Yarm and 
Thirsk circuits, and in Scotland, is known to him. I 
bless God that I have seen the work prosper and increase 
in most of the circuits I have been in, not indeed in con- 
sequence of my preaching, so much as by some regard to 
our discipline, and the labour of my colleagues. I have been 
happy in having those in general with me who were not 
drones, but hearty in the work of God. And their love 
to discipline has not been labour in vain; to God alone 
be all the glory ! 

Before I conclude, I must not forget to mention one 
circumstance in order to encourage others, and to justify 
the observation, " That we hardly know what we are ca- 
pable of, till we are put to the trial." When I was in 
Scotland, I remarked that many of the clergy were men 
of sense and piety, and took real pains in their work. 
And yet there was in many places a want of care and zeal 
for the spiritual welfare of the poor Highlanders. Many 
of these coming for employment to the larger towns, w^ere 
destitute of all help for their souls ; as they did not under- 
stand English. In Edinburgh and Glasgow there have 
been places of worship built for them, within these few 
years, and well supplied : but in Aberdeen, Perth, and 
Greenock, they still had none to help. Wlien Mr. M'- 
Nab went to Scotland, in 1769, he began to preach to them 
as well as he could, and wanted me to come to his help. 
Mr. Wesley accordingly appointed me for Scotland at the 
ensuing conference, and desired me to try to recover my 
Erse : but of this I had no hope ; as I could not read a 
verse of it, and never spoke two minutes in it on religious 
subjects in my life. However, when I came to Perth, and 
saw their forlorn condition, several motives induced me 



MR. DUNCAN WRIGHT. 267 

to make a trial. I therefore bought a New Testament in 
the modern Gallic, and got one of the society who could 
read it, to give me some instructions. By Christmas I 
had made such progress that my teacher was positive I 
could preach in it, and would needs invite the Highland- 
ers to come and hear me. But I knew my deficiency 
better than he did ; however, I was prevailed upon to let 
him invite them. He gave out the psalm, and sung it for 
me. When I began to pray in Erse, I should have been 
set fast, had I not learned the Lord's prayer beforehand. 
When I began to speak, I was often obliged to break off, 
and address the people in English. But, by the grace of 
God, in less than four years I could officiate in that lan- 
guage, two hours together, without a word of English. — 
While we were thus employed, the ministers in Perth, and 
in several other places, wished us good luck in the name 
of the Lord. 

This w^as by far the most delightful work I ever had. 
But it was often hard enough, as I commonly preached at 
Greenock, in English, at seven in the morning : then 
spent two hours, from ten to twelve, with the Highland- 
ers : walked to Port-Glasgow, and preached in the streets 
at four ; then walked back to Greenock, and preached at 
six o'clock, and then met the society. Although by this 
means I had many an aching head, and pained breast, yet 
it was delightful to see hundreds attending to my blunder- 
ing preaching, with streaming eyes, and attention still as 
night ; or to hear them, in their simple way, singing the 
praises of God in their own tongue. If ever God said to 
my heart, " Go, and I will be with thee," it was then, 
when, with much trembling and deep sighs, I have gone 
to preach to them, hardly knowing what to say. I extol 
the name of my adorable Master, that my labours were 
not in vain. How gladly would I have spent my life with 
these dear souls ! But my health would not permit it ; 
so I was obliged to leave them. 

To conclude : how graciously did my heavenly Father 
strive with me by his Spirit even from my infant days ! 
and when I was an outcast, and lost as to any thing in 
religion, he reclaimed the wanderer, and brought me to 
his fold ; then led me into the wilderness to show me my 
heart ; healed my backslidings, comforted and fortified 



268 MR. ROBERT WILKINSON. 

me for sufferings ; and, knowing my feebleness, led me 
gradually on to preach to those who most needed my as- 
sistance ! And when he saw a little affliction needful, he 
sent it. And a profitable time it proved to me ; all thanks 
to the Sender ! I have since seen such beauty in holiness, 
and in the imitation of Christ, and have had such disco- 
veries of the boundless love of God as I never had before. 
O for an eternity to praise him in ! If ever man could 
say the following lines, surely I may : — 

Pardon for all that I have done, 

My mouth as in the dust I hide, 
And glory give to God alone, 

My God for ever pacified. 



MR. ROBERT WILKINSON. 



Before hearing the Gospel, which is the power of God 
unto salvation, I was often terrified in dreams and visions 
of the night. Sometimes I thought I was falling down 
steep precipices ; at others, that the devil was standing 
;.)ver me to take me away immediately. At such times I 
have oftened awakened, shrieking in such a manner as ter- 
rified all who heard me* Afterward I heard the Gospel 
for a season at Brookhope, in the county of Durham ; but 
the people not receiving the joyful sound, the servants of 
God forsook the place. I was left with much uneasi- 
ness on my mind ; what I formerly delighted in was now 
hateful to me. I could play no more on the violin, or at 
cards, nor sing vain songs ; neither had I a desire to 
speak any more than I was forced to. The people saw 
my distress, but not knowing God, could not point out a 
cure. In this condition I continued for some weeks, I 
began to read religious books, and likewise to bow my 
knees before God in secret ; sometimes I could weep 
much, but having no one to direct me, after a time I got 



MR. ROBERT WILKINSON. 269 

back into folly, and pursued my evil practices with more 
eagerness than before. About four years after I was 
called to live in Weardale-Chapel. I then heard the 
Methodists very frequently. I was often softened un- 
der the word. I never found a desire to mock the peo- 
ple as many do : but rather stood in awe of them. But 
all this while I continued in my sins. The first Sunday 
in Lent, 1767, I heard, as usual, a Methodist preacher in 
the afternoon. I did not then find that the word made 
any impression upon me. But at night, on my bed, the 
Lord cut me to the heart, and I could not help roaring 
for the disquietness of my soul. I then felt I must perish 
eternally, unless some way to escape were found which I 
knew not of. Immediately I wished for the Methodists 
to pray with me ; but in particular for a young man, Ste- 
phen Watson, who is now in glory. [From the time he 
knew Jesus he was a pattern to all the society. And af- 
ter having walked four years in the light of God's coun- 
tenance, he departed in the full assurance of faith ; hav- 
ing testified, for many months before his death, that the 
blood of Jesus had cleansed him from all sin. His last 
words were, " Glory be to God for ever and ever ! Amen 
and Amen!"] 

One morning I fell down on my knees to ask forgive- 
ness for my many ofiences, and continued to cry night 
and day. My burden increased, and temptations were 
very strong. I then began to compare myself with the 
most sinful of my companions, and with other notorious 
sinners I had heard of; but I could find no equal. I said, 
from the ground of my heart, of all the sinners under 
heaven, I am the chief. The enemy then suggested that 
I was guilty of a sin which God would never pardon. — 
Tongue cannot express the distress I then felt. The heart 
knoweth its own bitterness. I thought never man suffered 
what I did. That saying, " A dreadful sound in his ears," 
continually followed me. I found the enemy ready day and 
night to devour me. When in private prayer I thought he 
had hold of my clothes. For many nights he suggested, 
if I prayed, he would appear and tear me in pieces. Yet 
I durst not cease to pray, though my prayers were mostly 
made up of sighs and groans. One day, drawing toward 
evening, the enemy came in as a flood, and the temptation 

23* 



270 MR. ROBERT WILKINSON. 

was to put an end to a wretched life. I resisted, but it con- 
tinued to come as quick as lightning, and I was afraid 
that the tempter would prevail, so that I durst not carry 
a penknife about me. That was the only time I was 
banished from private prayer, because I durst not stay 
alone. That night we met our class ; I then cried out to 
one of my brethren, who was waiting for me to go with 
him to the meeting, O Cuthburt ! I am driven to distrac- 
tion ! He spoke to me as comfortably as he could ; but as 
we walked together, I felt as if one was hanging on the 
skirts of my clothes. After the first prayer was over, it 
was with difficulty I rose from my knees. When the 
leader asked how I found the state of my soul, I answer- 
ed, I am left without one spark of hope that God will eyer 
have mercy on me. No, said he, you are not ; for if you 
were, 5'ou would not now be using the means of grace. 
He encouraged me to follow on ; but I still found no com^. 
fort. All the time of my convictions I had but very little 
ease, and when I had, I had a fear, almost equal to my 
pain, lest I should fall back into sin, or speak peace when 
God did not. O how I longed for deliverance from sin ! 
I often cried, Lord, if I am for ever banished from thy 
presence, let me not sin again. Not long after, that text 
in the 51st Psalm followed me, "Then will I teach trans- 
gressors thy ways, and sinners shall be converted unto 
thee." I thought if God did pardon me, he could refuse 
none ; but the foulest on this side hell might come and 
welcome. But this was the sting, I thought he would not. 
However, I kept using the means, and went frequently 
among the Methodists, to get them to pray with me. And 
I would have been glad if they had asked me to stay all 
night, but shame would not let me tell them so. I often 
thought I never could get over another night. My neigh- 
bours said I was beside myself, for I could not rest in my 
bed. I often rose and wandered in the fields, weeping 
and bewailing my desperate state. But, blessed be God*, 
he that wounds can heal. 

In the beginning of July, as Stephen Watson and I 
were sitting together, he had a volume of the Christian 
Library in his hand, out of which he read one of Mr. Ru- 
therford's letters. When he had done, Stephen, said I, 
I find as it were a melting warmness in my bi-east. So do 



MR. ROBERT WILKINSOX. 271 

I too, said he. He then asked, Can you not beUeve that 
God has pardoned your sins ? No, said I ; I dare not i- 
on which I immediately lost my comfort. 

Sunday, the 12th of July, Joseph Watson preached in 
the chapel in Weardale. He gave out that hymn, 

All ye tiiat pass by 

To Jesus draw nigh, 
To you is it nothing that Jesus should die ? 

Your ransom and peace. 

Your surety he is, 
Come, see if there ever was sorrow like his. 

For you and for me 
He pray'd on the tree, 
The prayer is accepted, the sinner is free. 

Then all within me cried out, — 

The sinner am I, 
Who on Jesus rely, 
And come for the pardon God cannot deny, 

I then believed that God, for Christ's sake, had forgiven 
all my sins, and found that peace which arises from a sense 
of reconciliation. The people of God who knew my dis- 
tress, perceived by my countenance that the Lord was 
gracious to me, before I had the opportunity to tell them. 
I then went rejoicing home, and could not help telling 
what God had done for my soul. It was long before 
my faith was tried. One of our brethren, a Calvinist, 
lent me a book. As I read, I thought Mr. Wesley was 
quite in the v/rong ; and I found something in me that 
rose against him : yet one thing I remember I could not 
swallow, which was, the author asserted that a sense of 
inbred sin would reconcile us to death. No, said Mr. 
Wesley, nothing but perfect love. Indeed I could not per- 
suade myself that the sting of death could reconcile us to 
death itself However, I read and reasoned myself mise- 
rable. Yet the Lord gave me grace to wrestle with him in 
prayer ; and every day I found more or less the witness 
of my sonship. I was then afraid if I sought after hoUness, 
I should rob Christ of his glory. Some of our people hear- 
ing that I read that book, and conversed with the man who 
lent it, took it for granted that I was prejudiced against the 
doctrine of perfection and those that preached it. They 
told this to my bandleader. I went one Sunday morning. 



212 MR. ROBERT WILKINSON. 

as usual, at seven o'clock, to meet my band, and found 
myself in a peaceful frame of mind. No sooner did the 
leader begin to pray, than he cried, " Lord, never suffer 
us to be prejudiced against thy servants, seeing that thy 
will is our sanctification." I found, as it were, something 
in me saying. He means me. When he spoke his expe- 
rience, he expressed the same thing ; on which I said, It 
is me you mean. He answered, '* What I have said, I 
have said," I then found violent prejudice against him. 
My peace was gone. My soul was torn in pieces within 
me. I told one of our people as we went home, how my 
leader had behaved toward me. I did not regard break- 
ing the band rules, because I was determined never to 
meet in a band any more. I had no rest : though I could 
not give up my confidence in God ; nevertheless my cor- 
ruptions boiled so wdthin me that I could have fought with 
a feather. 

On Friday night we had preaching. I went to it like 
one possessed with a legion of devils. Afterward the 
bands met, and the preacher earnestly exhorted all present 
to look for the second blessing, and insisted that it might 
be received. Now, thought I, if there is such a thing, 
none can stand more in need of it than I do. But the 
enemy suggested, " There are those that have known God 
several years, and have not attained ; and shalt thou be 
delivered who hast been justified only a few months ?" — 
Immediately I found power to resist the temptation, and 
said within myself, God is not tied to time. No sooner 
did that thought pass through my heart than the power of 
God seized me. I found I could not resist, and therefore 
turned myself over upon the seat : I cannot express how 
I was. I found such a travail in my soul as if it would 
burst from the body. I continued so till I was motionless 
and insensible for a season. But as I was coming to my- 
self I found such an emptying, and then such a heaven of 
love springing up in my soul, as I had never felt before : 
with an application of these blessed words, " He that be- 
lieveth on me, as the Scripture hath said, out of his belly 
shall flow rivers of living water." If possible, I could have 
put my band leader into my heart. The book I mentioned 
before had pleased me so well, that I had given orders to 
him that lent it to me, to buy me one of them. But no 



3IR. ROBERT WILKINSON. 273 

sooner did God work this change in my soul, than I found 
an utter aversion to it, and told the man, You must not 
buy it ; for I shall never read it more. 

In the year 1768 I was sent to call sinners to repent- 
ance, in and about the city of Carlisle. Here I was much 
persecuted ; but blessed be God, he delivered me out of 
the hands of all my enemies, and gave me several seals 
to my ministry. 

[Thus far Mr. Wilkinson lived to write himself. One 
of his fellow labourers added what follows.] 

My acquaintance with Mr. Wilkinson was very short. 
The first time I ever saw him was a little above three 
years ago. The next time was after last Bristol confer- 
ence. He was there appointed to labour with me in and 
about Grimsby. When we met in the circuit we were 
both in health ; but the day before our quarterly meeting 
I was taken very ill of a fever ; however, the next morn- 
ing I ventured to set out for the meeting ; but having fif- 
teen miles to ride, it was with much difficulty I got safe 
thither. And then I was unable to attend either the love- 
feast or the watch night. But I shall never forget the prayer 
Mr. Wilkinson put up for me at the close of the lovefeast^ 
" That the Lord would spare me a little longer, and raise 
me up again to labour in his vineyard." His prayer 
pierced the heavens, the power of God came down upon 
the people like a torrent of rain. They were so affected 
that they wept and rejoiced abundantly. Immediately I 
shared with them : although I was not in the same room, 
the Divine presence broke my heart to pieces. My soul 
overflowed with love, and my eyes with tears. I know 
not that I was ever so powerfully and suddenly affected 
under any person's prayer, except on the day I was con- 
verted to God. Immediately I had faith to believe the 
Lord would raise me up again, and for several minutes it 
appeared to me as if I was perfectly well. The next day 
I went along with him to Louth ; and in that time we had 
a good deal of conversation together, which chiefly turned 
upon these two points, viz., predestination and Christian 
perfection. He told me, with sorrow of heart, how often 
he had been grieved for the immense hurt that he had seen 
done by the preaching of unconditional predestination, as 
it blocked up the way of repentance ; weakened the founds 



274 MR. ROBERT WILKINSON. 

ation of diligence ; damped the fervour of believers after 
holiness ; and had a tendency to destroy it root and 
branch. He likewise very warmly expressed his love for 
Bible holiness, saying, it was the delight of his soul to 
press after it himself, and to enforce it upon others ; and 
that while he was doing this, the Lord blessed him most 
in his labour, and shone clearest upon the work he had 
wrought in his own soul. He signified to me that the 
Lord had circumcised his heart to love the Lord his God 
with all his heart, with all his soul, and with all ^is 
strength : and I believe at that time he was full of faith 
and the Holy Ghost. 

He was truly meek and lowly of heart ; and little, and 
mean, and vile in his own eyes. I found my mind amaz- 
ingly united to him, for the time we were together, like 
the soul of David and his beloved Jonathan. I loved 
him much for the mind of Christ I saw in him, and for 
his zeal for the Lord of hosts. We parted at Louth, and 
I endeavoured, with the fever upon me, to creep along to 
Tetford to preach : but it was with much trouble I went 
through my discourse. That night the fever seized upon 
me more violently, and never left me for near a month. 
About a week after, Mr. Wilkinson came to Tetford to 
gee me. We spent about three hours together very pro- 
fitably. We then both of us prayed, and commended 
each other to God. 

A few days after we parted, he was taken ill of the 
fever, and could not lest till he came to his wife at 
Grimsby ; where he lay ill for four or five weeks. He 
then appeared to be recovering fast, and walked about a 
little : but he suddenly relapsed, and was carried off in 
about a week. He bore all his afflictions with great pa- 
tience, frequently lifting up his heart to God, and repeat- 
ing these words : " But he knoweth the way I take : 
when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold. My 
foot hath held his steps, his way have I kept, and not de- 
clined. Neither have I gone back from the commandment 
of his lips ; I have esteemed the words of his mouth more 
than my necessary food," Job xxiii. When he perceived 
that he should die, he exhorted his wife to cast all her care 
upon the Lord ; and encouraged her to believe that his 
grace was sufficient for her. He then prayed for her and 



MR. ROBERT WILKlNSOIV. 275 

his two children, earnestly entreating the Lord to protect 
them in this troublesome world, and to supply all their 
wants. He next prayed fervently for Mr. Wesley, that 
the presence of the Lord might continue with him all his 
days, and crown him at last with eternal glory. He then 
remembered his three fellow labourers in the circuit, 
praying that the Redeemer would assist us in the great 
work : that he would go forth with and bless the labours 
of all the preachers, and that the kingdom of the Re- 
deemer might spread to the ends of the earth, and pre- 
serve them until they join the Church triumphant. 

In the night season he had a severe conflict with Satan, 
and his spirit wrestled with God in prayer. Yea, he was 
in agony, as he said afterward. At last the tempter fled, 
and he seemed as if he was admitted into heaven, to con- 
verse with God, with angels, and saints. He Suddenly 
waked his wife (who was in the same room) and said, 
" Thou hast been sleeping, but I have been in heaven. — 

what has the Lord discovered to me this night ! O the 
glory of God ! the glory of God in heaven ! the celestial 
city? the New Jerusalem! O the lovely beauty! the 
happiness of paradise ! God is all love ; he is nothing but 
love ! O help me to praise him ! O help me to praise 
him ! I shall praise him for ever ! I shall praise him for 
ever !" So Robert Wilkinson departed this life in peace, 
on Friday, December 8th, about eleven o'clock, 1780. 

It seemed a great providence that he died on the market 
day, when a number of friends out of the country were 
present, who quickly published, in their little villages, that 
a funeral sermon would be preached on Sunday. The 
house was well filled, and the Lord made it a solemn time. 

1 believe there was scarce a dry eye in the congregation. 
I have often taken notice how the Lord makes the tri- 
umphant death of good men a peculiar blessing to his 
children, who are left behind ; so it was at this time. 
The people of God were remarkably blessed in hearing 
the dying testimony of our dear friend. The worldly 
people and the backsliders also were cut to the heart. At 
the conclusion of the sermon I dropped these words : — 
Earth has lost, and heaven has gained a child of God. 
Let us pray the Lord to add another to the Church militant. 
We did so ; and the Lord answered our prayer, by setting 



276 MR. ROBERT WILKINSON. 

a young man's soul at liberty, so that he went from the 
solemn place, as the shepherds from the heavenly vision, 
blessing, praising, and glorifying God. 

The minister of the parish behaved exceeding kind ; he 
came to the preaching house, stayed awhile, and then 
walked slowly before the corpse ; while the people sung a 
hymn of praise. When we arrived at the church, one of 
our friends asked him if we might sing a hymn. He 
answered, " I have no objection ! I am against nothing 
that is good :" so we sung those awful words, — 

Thee we adore, eternal Name, 

And humbly own to thee, 

How feeble is our mortal frame, 

What dying worms we be 1 

The people sang lustily and with a solemn spirit ; for the 
Divine presence was with us all the way through ; and in 
such a manner as I never knew before at any funeral. 
When the minister read these words, " Not to be sorry as 
men without hope," Mrs. Wilkinson (who hung upon my 
arm with her two little babes) was so overwhelmed with 
the presence of God, that she could not refrain from cry- 
ing out, " Sorry ! no ! Glory be to God ! glory be to 
God ! Glory, and praise, and blessing, be ascribed unto 
God, for ever and ever !" Her spirit seemed as if it was 
ready to launch into the eternal world, to be with Jesus 
and her happy husband. A remarkable power fell on all 
that could hear her ; so that the people were melted into 
tears; some of sorrow, others of joy. 

From this time the work of God began to revive at 
Grimsby, and the country people caught the fire, and 
carried it along with them into their little societies. 

Robert Wilkinson was, as you have described him, " an 
Israelite indeed ; a man of faith and prayer : who, having 
been a pattern of all good works, died in the full triumph 
of faith." O what a blessing to live and die a Christian ! 
May I also be a follower of those who through faith and 
patience inherit the promises ! In my life, and at my 
death, may I be like him ! 



MR. WILLIAM FERGUSON. 277 



MR. WILLIAM FERGUSON. 



My father and mother lived at Kelso, in Scotland, 
where they had five children. But when my mother was 
big with the sixth, she could not be delivered, the child 
being dead within her. In a desperate case a desperate 
method was used ; incision was made, and the child 
was taken out of her side. And yet, by the blessing of 
God she survived, and recovered her health and strength. 
But the physician assured her, if she had another child it 
could not be born, but she must infallibly die. However, 
she was with child again : as the time of delivery ap- 
proached, expecting nothing but death, she cried to God 
day and night. But to the amazement of all, she was 
delivered with more ease than she had ever been of any 
child before. 

I was the child then born, on the 25th of March, 1735. 
I was brought up a Presbyterian, and had very early 
impressions on my soul. When I was about six years 
old, I used to >vonder I could not weep under sermons 
as others did. I left off play, and going into the fields, 
used to think of God, of the devil, of heaven, and hell. 
I thought God loved me, and was willing to bring me to 
heaven. But I thought if the devil should get me to 
hell, I shall never get out. Yet I thought Christ suffer- 
ed for my sins ; and thereby made a full atonement for 
them. But although I knew these great truths, yet my 
heart was unchanged ; and I constantly went on in the 
folhes of childhood, according to the devices of my own 
heart. 

When I was teh years old, my parents removed to 
Eysmouth, eight miles north of Berwick : here I grew 
thoughtful again, and began to pray much, wherein 1 
found so great pleasure that I persuaded four boys I was 
acquainted with, to go with me, morning and evening, into 
a secret place in a timber yard, between two stacks of 
deals, where we prayed one after the other. This we 
constantly did for two months : but a young gentleman 

24 



278 MK. WILLIAM FERGUSON. 

lodged just by, whose window looked into the yard : ob* 
serving us to go thither constantly, he wanted to know the 
reason. And meeting me one day alone, after giving me 
many good words, he asked me why we met together be- 
tween the stacks ? I told him, but begged him not to tell 
any one ; which he faithfully promised. But notwith- 
standing he went immediately and told the children them- 
selves, and their parents, and the people of the town ; 
many of whom cried out, " That is blasphemy for such 
young children to pretend to pray." The children were 
soon laughed out of their religion, and never rested till 
they made me like themselves ; nay, till they taught me 
to get drunk, which we did in that very place where we 
used to pray together. 

Two years after, my parents removed to Holy Island, 
nine miles south of Berwick. The people of this place 
were mostly smugglers, and the children remarkably 
wicked. Of these I soon learned to curse and swear, and 
glory in my shame. I learned to tell lies for sport, to 
play at cards, to dance, to work the greatest part of the 
Sabbath day, and to make a mock at all rehgious people, 
saying they were all hypocrites. And in this deplorable 
condition I remained till I was near twenty years old. 
During this time I was twice in great danger of being 
drowned going to Holy Island in very dark nights. It 
was also a flowing tide : I had lost my way : and the sea 
came in fast upon me. But both times I was brought 
safe to land. I was serious for awhile after. But I then 
got into laughing, trifling company ; and my seriousness 
soon wore ofl*. Another time, being with a gang of 
smugglers, a king's officer clapped a pistol to my breast, 
and swore bitterly, if I lifted a hand he would shoot me 
through the heart. The thought of instant death shocked 
me much. But this too I stifled by drinking and dancing. 
So I continued fast asleep in the devil's arms, till one day 
as I was working in the shop with my father, my m.ind 
ran upon a match of drinking and dancing, in which I 
was engaged to join in the evening. Suddenly I heard a 
voice as from heaven, saying, " What if thou shouldst 
drop down dead in the midst of the dance ! wouldst thou 
go to heaven ?" I said, " No, I am not fit for heaven." 
Immediately I felt I had passed sentence upon myself; 



MR. WILLIAM FERGUSON. 279 

and that if I went not to heaven, hell was my portion : 
light broke in : I was filled with horror : I saw myself 
hanging over the mouth of hell by the brittle thread of 
life. 

My father looked me in the face, and asked, " What is 
the matter ?" But I made no answer. He said, Cer- 
tainly something is the matter. For you are sometimes 
red as scarlet, and in a moment white as chalk. But 
still I spoke not one word : my mouth was stopped : I 
was guilty before God. Yet I was thankful that I was 
aiive, and thought, " O that God would let me live one 
day longer ! In how different a manner would I spend 
my time ! Surely not in the ways of sin." Soon after 
I sat down to dinner ; but I could not swallow a morsel. 
My mother observing this, was very angry with my father, 
thinking I was grieved at something he had said. But 
finding that was not the case, she was quite struck, and 
turning to me, said, " My dear, why do you not eat your 
dinner ?" I made no answer. Indeed I could not, for 
my heart was fit to break. 

In the evening my company came in to carry me to 
the dancing. To their great surprise, they found me 
reading the Bible. They asked my father and mother, 
" Are not you willing he should go with us ?" They said, 
'' Yes ; but we think he is not well.'* They said, " Come, 
we shall soon cure him. Lay hold. We will carry him." 
^* Do," says another, " and I will carry his fiddle." I looked 
at them and said very mildly, " If you do carry me I shall 
be of no use to you. For one dance I will not dance this 
night : and a tune I will not play." They started, and 
left me. 

When our family went to rest, I durst not go to bed, for 
fear I should awake in hell. I tried to pray, but could 
not. I stayed for some time, with my heart as hard as a 
stone. At last I fell upon my knees, and with a flood of 
tears cried out, " Lord, be merciful to me ; for I am a 
great sinner." I found my mind a little eased, and went 
to bed and slept comfortably. But in the morning my 
trouble was as great as ever. When I went out about my 
business, many mocked me for my gravity : others said, 
" It is a great pity so fine a young man should lose the 
use of his reason." But what grieved me more, waste 



280 MR. WILLIAM FERGUSON. 

see all the people, as I had been myself, fast asleep in the 
devil's arms. 

On Sunday morning I rose early, and the tide being 
out, walked to Lonwick on the main land, and went to a 
Presbyterian meeting. The minister's text was, " I will 
arise and go to my father." It was a word spoken in 
season. I thought he looked at me all the time. People 
did indeed look at me ; many of them knowing me well, 
and therefore wondering how I came there. When I came 
home my mother begged me with tears to reveal what 
was upon my mind. She said, ** What is it you have 
done ? Have you murdered any body ?" I said, " No, 
mother ; I have murdered nobody ; but I have almost mur- 
dered my poor soul." 

As soon as the inhabitants of the island found I would 
not drink, swear, or work on the Lord's day, they were 
violently angry, so that I could hardly walk the street for 
the mob setting upon me. And my father and mother 
insisted on my working at my business on the Lord's day . 
But I told them, " No : never more, I will sooner have 
the flesh torn off my bones." My prayer now was, to get 
out of this ungodly place : and a fortnight after, my pa- 
rents consented : so I left them, not knowing whither I 
was going, but designing to follow my father's trade, pro- 
vided I could find any master who would not require me 
to work on the Lord's day. 

When I came to Newcastle-upon-Tyne, as I was going 
down Pilgrim-street, I saw abundance of people going 
along, who seemed remarkably serious. I asked a man, 
" Pray who are all these ?" He answered, " These are 
all Wesleyites ; they are coming from the preaching." — 
This was the first time I saw or heard of them. The 
next day I went on to Sunderland, where I found out my 
father's brother, and inquired if he knew any barber who 
did not work on a Sunday. " Yes," said he, " there is 
Tommy Parker." So to him I went without delay. 

To my great surprise, the sailors that came into our 
shop did not curse or swear at all. But several of them 
took my master by the hand, and said, " How do you do, 
brother ?" I asked, " Pray sir, are all these your bro- 
thers?" He said, "We are all brethren in Christ." — 
When Sunday came I got one to show me to the preach- 



MR» WILLIAM FERGUSON. 281 

ing house, where I saw my master in the pulpit ! His 
text was, " He shall bring forth the top stone with shout- 
ing, crying, Grace, grace unto it." I then told him the 
distress of my mind. He advised me to go to London, 
telling me I should there have all the means of grace in 
the greatest abundance. I went to London, where my 
cousin Thomas Freyer soon got me into a shop : and not 
long after, on my telling him I wanted to meet in a class, 
carried me to the Tabernacle. I went into the vestry, and 
told two gentlemen I found there, " I should be glad to 
meet in a class that I might speak my experience, and tell 
of the work of God which I have found upon my heart." 
One of them said, " What class shall we put him into ?" 
The other answered, " Indeed I cannot tell. Mr. Wes- 
ley's classes are far more strictly looked after than ours." 
If you please then, said I, I will go and meet in one of 
his classes. He looked at me and said, " Really, young 
man, I cannot blame you." I went immediately to Mr. 
Wesley, who, after a little conversation, gave me a note 
of admittance. 

As I now prayed much, and heard many sermons, and 
abstained from all known sin, 1 began to be very easy, 
supposing myself to be a very good Christian. And one 
•day, in a house in Ratcliffe highway, I began talking as 
if I had gone a great way in religion. This an old gen- 
tlewoman observing, came, and taking me by the hand, said, 
" Do you know your sins are pardoned ?" I answered, 
•• I hope so." She said, " I fear not : for if they were 
you would have the witness in yourself. Satan cares not 
how far we go in religion, if we will but stop short of 
this. I advise you, when you go home, pray earnestly to 
the Lord to show you whether your sins are pardoned. — 
If tiiey are, to give you the witness of it : if they are not, 
never to let you rest without it." I w^as quite speechless, 
finding I had stopped short of the prize. I hastened 
home, praying all the way. I watched, I prayed, I waited 
in all the means of grace, longing for Christ to come into 
my heart. I could hardly eat any food till Sunday came, 
when I went to the Seven-dials, to hear Mr. Wesley. I 
was much blessed under the word, expecting every mo- 
ment to receive the witness. On Monday, as I sat at 
w^ork, I was thinking the sermon over again, when on a 

24* 



282 MR. WILLIAM FERGUSON. 

sudden my mind was whirled away, and filled with vain 
imaginations. After a time I cried out, " Lord, what a 
wicked wretch am I ! Wilt thou pardon this, with all my 
other sins ?" In a moment the Lord said to my heart, 
" My blood hath atoned not only for this, but for all the 
sins which thou hast ever committed. Thou art no more 
thy own. Thou art bought with a price ; and I will give 
thee power to glorify me with thy body and thy spirit, 
which are mine." In that moment my hell was turned 
into heaven — joyful day that ascertained the kingdom 
mine just two years after the Lord had awakened me out 
of the sleep of death. I seemed now to be in another 
world : every thing was new. Every thing about me was 
comfortable ; for the Lord smiled upon my soul. For two 
days and two nights every breath I drew was praise and 
prayer, having sweet intercourse opened between God 
and my soul. When Satan tempted, I said, " Go to my 
Lord !" And the temptation died away. Whatever I 
wanted, I could make my request known to my recon- 
ciled Father for it, in the name of his well beloved Son, 
and he granted my petition. I asked of him two tempo- 
ral blessings ; the one, that he would give me a lawful 
calling, wherein I might not be so continually teased to 
work on the Sabbath day : the other, that he would give 
me a help mate. He answered me in both. He inclined 
the heart of a watchmaker to teach me his trade, who 
afterward gave me his granddaughter to wife. And from 
that time we have sweetly gone on, hand in hand, toward 
our Father's kingdom. 

Some time after, having a great desire to see my pa- 
rents once more, I went with my wife to Holy Island. — 
But now I was exposed to a danger I had not foreseen. 
I was employed in my trade by some of the first people in 
the country, and frequently invited to their houses ; where- 
by pride and other unholy tempers began to revive in my 
soul. However, by the grace of God, I vtontinued fight- 
ing against them, though sometimes conquering, some- 
times yielding. Indeed I seemed like a door upon the 
hinges, turning backward and forward. This filled me 
with unspeakable grief; and though I still knew God was 
reconciled, yet I went mourning all the day long, because 
of inbred sin. 



MR. WILLIAM FERGUSON. 283 

But about fourteen years ago, as I was one night sit- 
ting in my house at Alnwick, in Northumberland, my 
family being all in bed, I began to read one of Mr. Walsh's 
sermons. When I came to those words, " Salvation is 
twofold ; emptying us of evil, and filling us with good !" 
my heart was melted down, and I cried out, " Lord, give 
me at least the former part of thy salvation. Empty me 
of evil !'' In a moment I felt such a change as no tongue 
can express. I felt every kind and degree of anger and 
resentment quite taken out of my heart. My pride also 
was gone ; and I was thoroughly content to be despised 
of all men. I was crucified to the world ; to all its honours 
and profits ; all its comforts and pleasures. The fear of 
man was quite gone ; and so was all conformity to the 
world. I regarded neither the smiles nor the frowns of 
great men ; being quite set at liberty, and finding nothing 
in my heart but pure love — love free from dissimulation^ 
abhorring that which is evil, and cleaving to that which is 
good. I cried out, " What shall I render unto the Lord 
for all the benefits he hath done unto me !" The Lord 
said, " Go work in my vineyard. As thou hast been a 
faithful advocate for the devil, be now a faithful labourer 
for me." I shivered at the thought, knowing the littleness 
of my talents, and fearing I should dishonour his cause : 
yet, believing it was his will, I promised to go, though 
witii my fife in my hand. 

When I declared what a blessing I had received, there 
was nobody that would believe me. And when I said, I 
believed God had called me to preach, many were ready 
to swallow me up. I desired they would give me a fair 
trial. But it could not be. So I went to a little country 
town, where no Methodist had ever preached. I spoke to a 
serious, attentive congregation ; in consequence of which 
I was invited to four country towns near Alnwick. But 
the more I laboured, the more ofiended some of my brethren 
were, till the providence of God called me to London. 

I came to London on Friday, nine years ago. The next 
day the men were hung in chains on Bow-Common. On 
Sunday thousands of people came to gaze at them : to 
whom I preached on, " What is a man profited, if he shall 
gain the w^hole world, and lose his own soul V' Quickly 
after I was seized with a violent fever. But the consola- 



284 MR. WILLIAM FERGUSON. 

tions of God were not small with me ; and made me large 
amends for all the pains I suffered. After the Lord had 
raised me up from my sick bed, it pleased him to try me 
with poverty. We were brought so low as to have neither 
food to eat, nor raiment to put on. This was our case 
while I served a severe master, for very small wages ; 
who, nevertheless, was continually blaming me, and 
threatening to turn me off. 

At length the Lord put it into the heart of my dear 
wife to advise me to try what I could do in Holland. I 
left England in the latter end of August. After a passage 
of ten days, I landed at Amsterdam ; from whence I went 
to the Hague. It was at first very distressing to me that 
I did not understand the language. But the Lord moved 
the minds of the people, wherever I was, to help me 
all they could. He raised me up real friends, who sent 
me from town to town, and recommended me from one 
to another ; even to the first persons of the land. And 
after having disposed of my goods, I was brought home 
again in safety, after an absence of six months and three 
days. 

I now thought my work abroad was done, and that I 
might spend the rest of my life in my own country. But, 
to my surprise, I received abundance of letters, earnestly 
pressing me to come back. Believing it was the call of 
God, on the 11th of April, 1778, I embarked at Helvoet- 
sluys, and crossed over to the Hague, where my friends, 
with the utmost kindness, introduced me to the chief of 
the country, the prince of Orange in particular. He 
asked me many questions concerning both my country 
and religion. I answered him with all simplicity, and he 
appeared well satisfied. Soon after I was made burgher 
of the town. From thence I went to Leyden, Delf, Rot- 
terdam, Dort, Haerlem, Amsterdam, Utrecht, and most of 
the other cities in the United Provinces. In my jour- 
neys I met with many persons whom I believed to be the 
true children of God. But it was a grievous cross that 
we could speak only a very few words to each other. 
Having done my business, I returned by Helvoetsluys to 
Harwich, and so to London. 

On April 15, 1779, I embarked again for Holland, and 
went through the same places I did last year. And now 



MR. WILLIAM FERGUSON. 285 

I could converse a little in the Dutch language. The 
first children of God that I found were in the city of 
Haerlem. They came to my shop, and told me the goods 
were pretty : but I must take care not to set my heart 
upon them. I told them my heart was in heaven, and 
that these pretty things were under my feet. One of them 
then invited me to his house, where I found a company 
assembled together. They received me with the utmost 
courtesy, and asked what religion I was of. I answered, 
" Of that described in the 13th of 1st Corinthians, from the 
fourth to the seventh verse." Having read the words, 
they said, " This is our religion too : we receive you as a 
brother." They recommended me as such to all their 
acquaintance, so that I was kindly received wherever I 
came. And I found just the same liberty of spirit with 
these as with my brethren in England. From this time 
I found, all over the country, persons that knew and loved 
the Gospel : and after spending six months comfortably 
among them, I cheerfully returned to my family. 

I went again the next spring, and was received with 
the same kindness as before. And having more of the 
language, I found out more and more of the children of 
God. I rejoiced to find among these some of the rich and 
great, who appeared to be as humble as the least of them. — 
They were glad to hear that there was a people in Eng- 
land that loved and served God. And some of them had 
a great desire to settle a correspondence with their Eng- 
lish brethren : which was soon after effected, and has 
continued ever since, to the no small comfort of both. 

When I entered upon this trade I had many discourage- 
ments. Most of my acquaintance either mocked or pitied 
me, saying I was the most improper person in the world 
to be concerned in such a business. And, besides, I had 
no money. I had, indeed, very Httle. But I believed 
God would bless that little. And he sent me help in time 
of need, so that money came just when it was wanted. 
One time I was shipping ofi* a chest of goods, but had not 
money to pay the duty. I told my wife, " God will pro- 
vide." Presently a gentleman I never saw before knock- 
ed at the door, and when he came in, he told me he 
wanted a parcel of goods, and would pay part of the mo. 



■^286 MR. JOHN VALTON. 

ney then. He did so ; and it was as much as I wanted 
to pay the duty on my chest. 

It is now about fourteen years since I began, according 
to my abiUty, to call sinners to repentance. And I bless 
God, though I have had many discouragements, I am not 
yet weary. I have not laboured in vain. God has given 
me to see a little fruit of my labours. Blessed be his 
name, he has washed me from my sins ; and I know he 
is able to keep me from falling, and to enable me to grow 
in grace, till he receives me into his glory. 

W. F. 



MR. JOHN VALTON. 



TO THE REV. JOHN WESLEY. 

Rev. and Dear Sir, — I have long resisted your im- 
portunate desire that I would give you a short account of 
my experience ; being desirous to conceal my insignificant 
life till I was no longer interested in the honour or dis- 
honour that cometh of man. But your last letter on the 
subject, and the Rev. Mr. Fletcher's opinion on the same, 
have satisfied me that I " owe it to God and his Church." 
I shall therefore humbly submit an extract thereof to the 
perusal of candid people, while I implore the benediction 
of my God. 

I was born in the year 1740. My parents were natives 
of Franche Comte, near Switzerland, and members of 
the Church of Rome. They came to England a year or 
two before I was born ; so that I was providentially born 
and brought up in England. I was (with a brother and 
sister) made a member of that Church, and remained so 
<3uring the early part of my life. I can well remember that 
serious impressions were very early made upon my mind ; 
but I had no one to guide me. When I was about nine 
years of age, I was sent to France for education. I was 
there boarded at a priest's, who was a schoolmaster. At 
ihis school I remained many months, imbibing the baneful 



MR. JOHN VALTON. 287 

notions of idolatry and superstition. But as the priest 
half starved me, I never let my mother rest till she re- 
moved me back to London. Soon after I returned I was 
sent to a Latin school in Yorkshire, and was boarded at 
a clergyman's, who was master of the school. Having 
had but little knowledge of Popery, I readily attended the 
Church of England, during the seven years that I was 
there. But as nothing was ever said to me about reli- 
gion, I remained in utter darkness, and I lived without 
God in the world. While I was here I once met with 
Mr. Hervey's Meditations. I was very powerfully affect- 
ed, and resolved to amend my life. For several days I 
was careful not to offend my God ; but the impression 
was soon effaced. 

At seventeen years of age I returned to London, and 
after spending a year or two at an academy, was soon 
after, through the interest of a nobleman, got into a pub- 
lic office under the government. I w^as appointed a clerk 
at Portsmouth, where God was pleased to restrain me in 
a wonderful manner, amid innumerable temptations. — 
After I had been in office near three years, I was appoint- 
ed to attend the army in Portugal, last war, as a clerk of 
the stores, 6ic. I found in myself a fear, when I went to 
sea, lest the ship should be lost, and my poor soul perish, 
I had the same fear of being killed in an engagement, 
when I landed, and of my soul becoming a prey to the 
worm that never dies. While 1 was at Lisbon I frequent- 
ly visited their churches, saw their idolatry and super- 
stition, and rejoiced that I had escaped the mother of 
harlots. 

Soon after I returned to England I met with a sore 
trial, which made we think of and seek after God. But 
being among my gay companions, this, and some tempta- 
tions that were now thrown in my way, quite overturned 
my resolution, and I became as vain and sinful as ever. 
However, I purposed that if God should please to remove 
me where I was unknown, I would then give myself up to 
him. The desire of the unrighteous was granted ; for the 
merciful God was pleased to make way for my removal in 
two or three months. I was then sent to the king's maga- 
zines at P 1, where I was an entire stranger. In this 

place there was a gentlewoman whose husband was in the 



288 MR. JOHN VALTON. 

king's service. She had been a member of the Metho- 
dist society for some years, and was the only one in that 
neighbourhood. She invited me to her house one day, 
and spoke something on serious subjects. I threw in my 
mite, which made an impression on her mind in my fa- 
vour. She now frequently invited me to her house, and 
led me out of the paths of error and misery to the fountain 
of life and love. She put several books into my hands 
which were made very useful to me. In a few weeks 
painful convictions began to fasten upon my mind, and I 
sincerely strove to forsake all sin, and make a sacrifice 
of my accustomed amusements. Fear prompted me to 
pray — sometimes with, and sometimes without a book. 
Her conversation roused me : and I began in good earnest 
to seek after God. But, being in danger of resting on my 
form of godliness, she, with some difficulty, beat me out 
of all my retreats, and convinced me that nothing would 
avail without faith, and that salvation was the free, un- 
merited gift of God through the redemption that is in 
Jesus. The books that I read bore the same testimony, 
which at length threw me into self-despair. Prayer be- 
came a burden, and I knew not what to do. At length I 
resolved to write to you, sir, and in an anonymous letter 
unbosomed my heart, and sought your advice. Your let- 
ter I beg leave here to transcribe for the benefit of such 
as may be in the like state with me : — 

" London, January 31, 1764. 
" Deah Bkother, — It it is certainly right, with all pos- 
sible care, to abstain from the outward occasions of evil : 
but this profits only a little : the inward change is the one 
thing needful for you. You must be born again, or you 
will never gain a uniform and lasting liberty. Your whole 
soul is diseased, or rather dead, dead to God, dead in sin. 
Awake then and arise from the dead ; and Christ shall 
give thee light. To seek for a particular deliverance 
from one sin only, is mere lost labour. If it could be 
attained it would be little worth ; for another would arise 
in its place : but indeed it cannot before there is a gene- 
ral deliverance from the guilt and power of all sin. This is 
the thing which you want, and which you should be con- 
tinually seeking for. You want to be justified freely from 
all things, through the redemption which is in Jesus. It 



MR. JOIO VALTON. 289 

might be of use if you were to read over the first volume of 
Sermons, seriously and with prayer. Indeed nothing will 
avail without prayer. Pray, whether you can or not ; when 
you are cheerful, when you are heavy, pray : with many or 
few words, or none at all ; you will surely find an answer 
of peace. And why not now ? 

" I am, &c., J. W." 

This letter proved a blessing unto me indeed. I now 
gave up myself to God, and resolved to seek the general 
deliverance that I wanted. A few weeks after this I was 
much encouraged by a child seven years old, who came to 
drink tea with me. I called her once, " My little angel." 
The girl replied, "01 dreamed last night that you 
were made an angel, and me too, and that you flew up to 
the skies, and that I followed you, calling upon you to 
stop, but you would not, but flew up till you got to 
heaven.'' 

About this time my skepticism appeared. I was tempt- 
ed to question the being of a God ; whether he could hear 
my prayers, especially as there might be many praying at 
the same time. I doubted of the Divinity of the Scriptures^ 
and the purity of the Lord Jesus Christ, being born of a 
woman. My prayers were now very dry and formal. I 
quarrelled with all the books I read, as they appeared dark 
and mysterious ; the Scriptures doubtful and unintelligible ; 
thought God had nothing to do with me, nor ever regarded 
my prayers. However I continued to pray several times 
a day. Satan now set upon me with great power. He 
represented the many stages I had to go through before I 
got to heaven: 1. Deeper conviction ; 2. Justification; 
and then through many tedious steps to sanctification : 
after that, through many more to glory, — He suggested to 
me that I had better postpone the work till, by marriage, I 
had acquired a fortune, and then I might retire, and wholly 
give myself up to God. 

I had also grievous assaults from fear and shame, and 
felt at times my heart as hard as adamant. Yet I had 
now and then wonderful tokens of the Divine goodness, 
and have risen up in the middle of the night to pray and 
praise the Lord. One day I uttered my soul in these 
words: "This afternoon I found the river of joy swelling 

25 



290 MR. JOHN VALTON. 

in my breast, through the influence of the sweet heavenly 
shower : and the Sun of righteousness arose upon me, and 
gave a warmth to my heart, and called forth the enlivened 
seeds of gratitude." 

About this time I had a remarkable dream, I thought 
that I was in a very large house, which was then building 
at the place where I lived. I thought I went up stairs 
into the garret, where I saw the devil in bed. I went 
wp to his bed's feet, got hold of his clothes, and stripped him 
naked. This enraged him so that I thought he got up and 
pursued me. In my flight I met my Redeemer, who told 
me, "If he touches thee, he will have thee." I replied, 
Lord, how is it possible that I should escape touching him 1 
I thought he made signs to me to get behind him, and 
lay hold of the hem of his garment, by which I es- 
caped the grand adversary. I knew not the purport of 
my dream till I was about to strip the devil of his 
subjects. 

I generally found that the drawings of the Father were 
followed by painful discoveries of my evil nature. My 
heart now appeared to me like the Ethiopian's skin, and I 
had no ease in my bones by reason of my sin. I said, in 
my haste, all comforters are liars, and I was sorely tempted 
to give all up. In the agony of my soul I one day swore 
that I would give up religion. I was so stung with re- 
morse for what I had done, that I raved like a madman, bit 
myself, and became fit only to dwell among the tombs. 
Who, but those who have felt the like, can conceive the hor- 
rors of my soul ? I fell on my face, but durst not lie there, 
expecting to be hurried into everlasting burnings. The 
sun and the light w^ere a pain to me. The condemned hole 
in Newgate would have best suited the gloomy horrors of 
my soul. I charged my God most foolishly, and uttered 
expressions only befitting the mouth of a devil. After this 
I went upon a visit to London ; and being at Mr. Wind- 
sor's, Mr. Mark Davis came there to drink tea. I accom- 
panied him to Wapping, where he preached, and found the 
word made a blessing to my soul. This was the first time 
of my hearing a Methodist preacher. 

After this the trials and temptations that I endured were 
so various, that I cannot, sir, consistent with your plan,, 
recount them, and therefore must pass to the eve of my 



MR. JOHN VALTON. 291 

deliverance. The enemy of souls had for some weeks 
stirred up the husband of my mother in the Gospel, who 
was determined that I should not be permitted to see her. 
To this effect, he both secretly and openly defamed me, and 
made me out such a monster that I became universally 
despised by the gentlemen in the office, and the country 
around about. On the third of May things were come to the 
height. I had the severest trial that I ever felt. But an 
invisible hand supported me, and enabled me to bear the 
indignation of man. I went into my room, with a variety 
of suggestions to put an end to my life ; but by the grace 
of God I was preserved. I prayed with great violence, 
till nature was exhaused ; I then stripped off my coat, and 
wrestled upon the floor in great agony. In this posture 
I continued all the night, groaning to be delivered, and in 
the greatest torment. In the morning nature failed, and I 
was so ill that I was obliged to go to bed. But alas ! I 
could not rest ! I got upon my knees again, and began cry- 
ing to God for mercy. I had such a sense of the wrath of 
God due to my sins, that I expected the pit to open its 
mouth and swallow me up quick. — While I was praying, 
suddenly I was wrapped up in the visions of the Almighty. 
I saw the holy God with vengeance in his counte- 
nance, and thunder in his hand. He seemed determin- 
ed to deal the vindictive blow. At the same time I saw the 
great Priest of God standing in his seamless garment, in- 
terceding for me. For a time the Almighty seemed inex- 
orable. At last he looked with a placid smile upon his Son, 
and then upon the malefactor, and it seemed as though he 
had said, — 

My Son is in my servant's prayer, 
And Jesus forces ine to spare. 

My burthen was gone, and my soul became calm and 
serene, and Ihad laid me down in peace and took my rest. 
This sight I had for several days, and yet I knew not clearly 
the purport of it for some months, not having an interpreter 
with me, one among a thousand. 

After I had a little breathing time my soul was tried to 
the very uttermost. A dangerous plot was laid for me by 
the implacable husband of my friend ; but God wonderfully 
delivered me. The sins also that I had been guilty of before 
my conversion Avere brought to my view. A light from 



292 MK. JOHN VALTON. 

hell gleamed upon me ! Despair seized me, and I had 
not a shadow of hope. My body was so chastised at the 
same time that I had well nigh lost my senses. O how 
my soul mourned and prayed ! Notwithstanding all this 
weight of affliction, I began now to warn and woo the sin- 
ners that came in my way, to flee from the wrath to come. 
I felt a very earnest desire for the salvation of all 
mankind, and could not help throwing in my mite for 
this purpose. 

About this time my relatives began to be very uneasy 
about me. They thought that all the hope of my gain 
would be gone, and I should lose the favour of my noble 
patron, v/hich would entirely prevent my promotion. In 
answer to this, the reply of my soul was, " Come, Lord 
Jesus, and then adieu to friends, the world, and all its delu- 
sions." The loss of these was nothing to me, while a sight 
of my evil nature absorbed my spirits, and reduced me to 
the very depths of misery. O how bitterly did I la- 
ment the force of my passions from day to day ! In 
what agonies did I bewail my nativity, and how often 
have I cursed the hour that gave me to the light ! I have 
over and over gnashed my teeth, and could have torn my- 
self to pieces. The fear of instant damnation prevented 
me from giving utterance to the horrible blasphemies that 
passed through my mind. Pride haunted me like a shadow. 
I have been frequently upon the point of cursing my God 
and all around me. 

O what a loathsome hypocrite 

Am I ? A child of wrath and sin ; 
An heir of hell, a son of night, 

An outward saint, a fiend within : 
A painted tomb ! a whited wall ! 
A worm ! a sinner stripp'd of all ! 

It was about this time that predestination presented its 
Medusa's head to my mind, and the old murderer at times 
persuaded me that God had ordained me, in free wrath, to 
the worm that never dies, and to the fire that is never 
quenched. Tliis suggestion has often thrilled through my 
soul with horror. When I have been in the extremity of 
suffering from self and Satan, I have had this thought 
strongly suggested, " that I was so tried more than many 
others, because God intended mc to preach the Gos- 



MR. JOHN VALTON. 293 

pel, that by the experience of temptations I might know 
Slow to succour others." In spite of all my sufferings I 
continued in much prayer. Indeed most of my time was 
spent in this exercise, as I had very little business in the 
office. Sometimes I have had great power in prayer, and 
my soul has been raised into an ecstacy ; but like Samuel, 
I knew not the voice of the Lord. One night I dreamed 
twice that God had pardoned my sins. In the first dream 
I thought I told a friend that the Lord had forgiven me my 
sins, and that the witness of the Spirit came into my soul 
like the "rushing of mighty waters." I then awoke, and 
prayed to God that if he had forgiven me, he would then give 
me the assurance of it. I dreamed the same again, but 
thought then that the witness " came as a rushing, mighty 
wind." Notwithstanding this, I kept praying, — 

Send forth the witness of thy Son, 

O God, into my panting heart ; 
That, govern'd by thy blood alone, 

From thee I never may depart ; 
But, following my celestial guide, 
Be number'd with the glorified. 

One day, being in an agony of grief and temptation, I 
fell on my knees, but could not pray. I then came to a 
resolution to give up all. I said, in a deluge of tears, 
" Lord, I do not wonder at my wicked thoughts and de- 
sires, for how should it be otherwise? Can clean water 
flow from a foul spring, or good fruit grow upon a bad 
tree? Lord, let me now fall into thy hands; do with me 
as seemeth thee good. I have given up all, and must 
quit the field. I see I can do nothing till thou hast 
changed my nature." Scarce had I pronounced these 
words, but I found something inwardly concurring with 
my resolution, and saying, " Why that is the thing thou 
shouldst do." I was suddenly comforted. I now saw 
that God permitted me thus to suffer in order to divorce 
me from the law, and to bring me to Christ. I walked in 
sweet freedom, and was happy, having, as it were, shook 
off my chains. I leaned upon Jesus, and was truly sup- 
ported. He was my wisdom and righteousness, and I 
could praise my God with joyful lips. But O ! how short, 
iived was my liberty ! The next day I was reduced to 

25* 



294 MR. JOHN VALTOK. 

the utmost misery. Hell rose up against me. I felt ha- 
tred to God, and longed to curse him. I gnashed my 
teeth, stamped around the room like a demoniac, and want- 
ed only fire to complete my hell. This scene was intro- 
duced by the tempter. He suggested to my timorous 
heart, " Aye, thou art now become quite hght and triflingy 
instead of mourning for thy sins." I believed him, and 
fell into bondage. Under my sufferings I still endeavour- 
ed to win souls to God. I met and prayed with four or 
five persons once a week, and read to them, and occa- 
si6nally spoke to those that came in my way. 

About the beginning of September I was taken by a 
friend to Miss Marches. A few select friends were met 
together, to whom I freely unbosomed myself. They 
greatly comforted me when they told me that it was clear 
to them that God had forgiven me all my sins. I think 
when they went to prayer God gave me the witness of 
his Spirit, and I could truly praise him. About this time 
I was seized with a long and dangerous intermitting fever^ 
but my temptations were then suspended. I had a long, 
ing desire to depart that I might be with Christ, for I had 
no doubt but that I should see and enjoy my God for ever. 
But in the midst of my consolations I had many hours of 
long interruption by temptations. Once, for near eight 
hours together, I had such horrible views of the mansions 
of eternal misery that the sweat ran down me like tears* 
But I was heard in that which I feared, and the Lord, one 
day, in the midst of my sufferings, applied these words, " I 
will do thee good in thy latter days." I believed, although 
I knew not the import of the words. I concluded this first 
year with some days of sunshine ; a sweet promise was 
applied to me, and I was enabled to receive it. I felt my 
bosom glow with love, and was overwhelmed with a sense 
of his abundant goodness. • Here ends a small part of my 
experience in the year 1764. 

In the beginning of the second year of my pilgrimage 
the language of my soul was, " I find my evil nature 
thrust sore at me. O God, if thou art not on my side, I 
shall be ruined. O Lord, arise and fight for me : for 
Christ's sake deliver me. What avails it, Lord, that thou 
hast pardoned me, if thou dost not also give me the mind 
that was in Christ Jesus 1 O come, Lord, and fix thy throne 



MR. JOHN VALTON. 295^ 

in my heart, and rule within me without control. Bring 
me to the perfect day, when I shall love thee with all my 
heart and soul, and all I do be a holy and acceptable sacri- 
fice to thee, through Jesus Christ my great high priest." It 
seemed to me at times that the Lord wanted to keep me in 
close communion with himself, and to sequester me from- 
every thing worldly : and indeed the language of my soul 
was, — 

Thy only love do I require, 
Nothing on earth beneath desire, 

Nothing in heaven above : 
Let earth and heaven and all things go, 
Give me thy only love to know, 

Give me thy only love. 

In March I received the abiding witness of the Spirit^, 
and was truly happy. In a deluge of deUght I gratefully 
acknowledged the goodness of my God. But this only pre- 
pared me for deeper discoveries of my evil nature, and sore 
conflicts. A while ago the battles of the warrior were as a 
confused noise ; but these as with garments rolled in blood. 
My consolations were of short duration ; and, as it were, 
given me like cordials to men under the surgeon's knife, to 
prevent my fainting. I have had such horrid blasphemies 
injected, that I have been forced to put my handkerchief in 
my mouth to prevent my bringing forth monstrous births. 
At times I have raved, bit, and tore myself like a madman^ 
and have cried out. Lord, I cannot drink this bitter cup ; O 
remove it from me. I have been near to curse my 
God, religion, and my natal day. Sometimes I have, 
in the most moving, piercing, lamentable cries, called 
the Redeemer to my help. My arms and heart were open 
to embrace and welcome the Desire of nations, and in the 
extremity of grief I have rolled and twined like a worm 
upon the floor. 

During this year I generally arose between four and five 
in the morning. My hours of prayer were five, seven, nine, 
and one, six, nine ; beside short prayers between, and the 
rest of the day was mostly spent in reading and singing. 
Twice a week I observed a solemn fast, as also some par- 
ticular days. Sometimes I extended my fasts to near six 
in the evening, by which I nearly ruined my constitution. 

I frequently suffered much in my mind, through cold- 



296 MR. JOHN VALTON. 

ness, dryness, and heaviness in my devotion, although the 

very language of my heart was,— 

Father, I long my soul to raise, 
And dwell for ever on thy praise ; 
Thy praise with glorious joy to tell, 
In ecstacies unspeakable : 
While the full power of faith I know, 
And reign triumphant here below» 

Now and then I had very precious seasons in prayer ; it 
was after one of these that I said, " This morning I had a 
very close conference with my God. The Lord gave me 
whatever I asked. O what sweet communion I had with my 
God! With what rapture did I anticipate death! And 
who would not with such a hope full of immortality?" At 
another time, " At nine o'clock prayer, Jesus did sweetly 
reveal himself unto me. His garments smelled of myrrh, 
aloes, and cassia, and I could truly rejoice in him." — 
Meantime I had many fears of falling away, and dreaded 
being exposed to company, lest I should, through shame, 
omit reproving them. These fears followed me more or 
less through the year, and made me pour out strong cries 
and tears unto God. However, in the general, I took up 
my cross, and endeavoured not to suffer sin upon my bro- 
ther, and with some good effect. I also read a sermon once 
a week to about nine persons, and met them as a class, when 

Mrs. E could not come ; and sometimes I had sweet 

refreshments in this work, though it was often a great trial 
to me. 

Toward the latter end of this year, William Darney, a 
preacher, drank tea with me one afternoon in London. — 
He well nigh ruined my soul. I unbosomed my heart to 
him, and told him the earnest wrestlings of my soul for 
sanctification. To my great surprise and discouragement, 
he told me that there was no such a thing as being saved 
from sin, on this side a deathbed. I was thunderstruck ! I 
replied, " Sir, I had rather have given a thousand pounds, 
than you should have told me this. What ! am I to wait 
till death comes to sanctify the elect people of God, and 
free the soul from the work of the devil?" 
Hei mihi ! quanto de spe decidi ! 

My soul was thrown into the greatest distress. I 
thought I never could continue the war against fleshly 
lusts all my life, especially the sin that did so powerfully 



MR. JOHN VALTOX. 297 

beset me. Bat he gave me this short recipe, Marry ; and 
I think the next brought me three or four damsels, I sup- 
pose to choose a wife from among them ! I was all 
this evening in a deplorable state ! My heart was broke, 
and I was resolved to give all up. I went to bed with a 
broken heart. 

In the morning I awoke, perfectly assured of my Re- 
deemer's love, and I cried out. Lord, thou knowest all 
things, thou knowest that I love thee. Yet when I rose, 
a little before four, I was variously assaulted. I bitterly 
lamented my coming to London. I had nothing of this 
when in my obscure corner ; I communed alone with my 
God. O Lord, thou hast hitherto taught and wrought 
alone with me. Preserve and love me to the end. 

A day or two after this watchman smote me, and took 
away my veil, you, sir, came to London for the winter 
months. I went that evening to the Foundry, and heard 
you adapt a discourse to my situation from these words, 
" Open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it," Psalm Ixxxi, 10. 
This discourse was like oil to my wheels, and rescued my 
soul from the destroyers. I was now set on my legs 
again, and the Lord caused the bones that were broken 
to rejoice. A few days after it was shown me that the 
Lord was sitting upon me as a refiner's fire. My soul 
was often in an agony of prayer, and drowned in tears 
with horrible cries and exclamations : I was, as it were, 
the sport of devils. However, I had hung out the bloody 
flag, and was determined, by the grace and power of Je- 
sus, either to conquer or die. 

I have now given a very small extract from the account 
of my trials and temptations during the year 1765. I 
trust it \vill be useful to some precious souls, and illustrate 
the astonishing mercy, love, patience, power, and faith- 
fulness of my God, whom I do now adore, praise, and love, 
and on my bended knees make an offering of it to his fa- 
vour and patronage. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all 
that is within me praise his holy name. 

Jan. 1, 1766. This day I wrote down my state as fol- 
lows : — " 1 find an abiding sense of God's love to me for 
Christ's sake, and believe every moment that all my sins 
are blotted out. I still feel pride, a desire of creature 
love and esteem, and much wandering of heart ; all which 



298 MR. JOHN VALTON. 

I earnestly desire to be saved from. My constant prayer 
and earnest expectation is to be perfected in love. I be- 
lieve that the Lord will make me a clean heart, and renew 
a right spirit within me. I believe that I shall soon love 
the Lord with all my soul. I expect the blessing every 
time I bow my knee to God. In fine, it is my desire to 
consecrate myself wholly to God. I regard not riches, 
honours, preferments, or any thing else that the world es- 
teems. Jesus Christ is the sum total of all my desires. 
I feel it cleaves to all my thoughts, words, and works, and 
it is my misery that I do not love thee with all my heart. 
I pray and cry till my strength fails me. Never sure did 
a poor soul long more to love thee, and please thee, O 
my God : and yet such is my nature that I fail in every 
thing. God, do thou cleanse me from all my idols. Let 
there be no strange god in me. Save me from pride and 
a filthy, unbelieving heart. Lord, hast thou brought me 
through two years' almost continued agony of soul, to cast 
me off at last?" O how bitterly did I lament the com- 
plicated sin of my heart, and deprecate the demerits of 
my whole life. My whole employment, from morning to 
night, was agonizing prayer, steeped in tears, till exhaust- 
ed nature could bear no more, and my body could not obey 
the volitions of my soul. I frequently joined fasting or 
abstinence to my prayers and cries, and offered violence 
to the throne of mercy. 

One day, while I was at prayer, the Lord applied these 
words with power, " The Egyptians thou hast seen this 
day, thou shalt see them no more for ever." Some time 
after this, while I was upon my knees, in one of the invi- 
sible flights of my soul, a messenger of love seemed to as- 
sure me that neither life nor death, &;c., should be able to 
separate me from the love of God. I talked with my 
Maker face to face, and was hereby strengthened for 
more grievous temptations. Indeed, before this I had the 
most dreadful encounters with the powers of darkness, 
which I wrote down in these words : — " At one and six 
o'clock prayer I suffered violently from the enemy ! O 
what agony my soul was in. It was the hour and power 
of darkness. Lord, thou wast faithful and good, and didst 
not leave me to the lust of my implacable enemy.' ' Above 
an hour was I engaged. Language is too faint to express 
or impart an idea of what I suffered. 



MR. JOHN VALTON. 299 

About this time I fell into the hands of those croakers who 
say, " Believe God has done it, and it is done." My poor 
distempered soul drank in this poison, and directly, when I 
went upon my knees I told God I believed he had done the 
work, and thanked him for it. But soon after, finding it 
otherwise, I charged God with unfaithfulness, and this made 
way for some dreadful blasphemies and most grievous suf- 
fering. But Providence threw my respected friend, Mr. 
Robert Windsor, into my way, who, by the grace of God, 
dehvered me from this snare of the fowler. 

On the 20th January, the Lord handed me the bitter cup. 
My soul was in dreadful agonies. I cried out. Lord, now 
let me drink the last drop, the very dregs. I cried and 
strained till I was ready to burst. 

Yea, Lord, with deepest shame I own 

My weariness of all thy ways ; 
My haste to throw the burden down, 

Nor bear the hidings of thy face ; 
Nor wait till thou create me new. 
And give the crown to conquest due. 

Lord, hast thou chosen for me various sufferings? 
Through sufferings then let me go. Lead on, my Cap- 
tain, Conqueror, and King : — 

Me and my brethren in distress, 

Patient within thy kingdom keep ; 
Sure all thy fulness to possess. 

Our harvest in the end to reap ; 
Thy spotless nature to retrieve. 
And glorious in thine image live. 

About the latter end of April I entered a hotter furnace 
than ever. My dearest relations desired to shake me off: 
all my acquaintances were set against me, and my spiritual 
family in a poor, dry state. A violent fever seized my 
body, and sore temptation assailed my sou!. One day I 
seemed near death, and saw nothincr but a dark vallev be- 
fore me, through which I must pass. A horrible dread 
overwhelmed my soul, and the pains of hell gat hold upon 
me. In the midst of these sufferings I felt no shadow of 
murmuring : nothing but love, patience, and resignation. 
This is but a small part of my inward sufferings, but 
enough, perhaps, to encourage some who may be under 
spiritual martyrdom. Notwithstanding all my trials, I 
continued to meet a few friends weekly, and read sermons 



300 MR. JOHN VALTON. 

to them, and met them as a class. I reproved sin wherever 
I came, distributed pamphlets, and warned sinners to flee 
from the wrath to come. I visited the sick soldiers in their 
barracks, and instructed them as well as I could. I was 
uneasy in my mind when I heard of any that were sick, if I 
did not visit them. 1 went among the hme-burners, (a 
graceless people, near to where I lived,) and spoke to them, 
and gave them pamphlets, and reproved the Sabbath-break- 
ers that I used to meet with in my way to church ; and, 
in a word, endeavoured to lay out my w^hole talent for God's 
glory and the good of souls. The unfaithfulness of several 
whom I met constantly, as in a class, caused me to shed 
many a tear. However, several were brought through my 
weak instrumentality to a saving knowledge of the truth ; 
and I have now the pleasure to find that the fruit of my 
tears and toils is not lost. 

Under my sufferings my soul has often been comforted 
by gracious answers to prayer. Once, when I was in 
sore trouble, the Lord said to me, " I will show thee w^hat 
great things thou must suffer for my name's sake." A lit- 
tle after, in an agony of prayer, it was whispered to me, 
" I have blessed thee, yea, and thou shalt be blessed." By 
these promises my soul was comforted and supported ; and, 
indeed, without them, it must have fainted, as I had but 
very few small intervals between my sufferings. I had 
greatly impaired my health with fasting, so that I was 
obliged to diminish this, and only use abstinence. I con- 
tinued in daily martyrdom for a few months more, earnest- 
ly labouring to mortify the deeds of the body, and to perfect 
holiness in the fear of God. My soul was on the stretch 
for a full deliverance from all the carnal mind ; at 
times ready to believe that God had done the work, but 
had not sufficient proof to support my faith till the latter 
end of August. On the 20th I had a notion that the Lord 
was taking away all my sin. On the 29th (a day of hap- 
py memory) I wrote down the following account in my 
journal : — 

Where shall my wondering soul begin ? 

How shall I all to heaven aspire ? 
A slave redeem'd from death and sin, 

A brand pluck'd from eternal fire I 
How shall I equal triumphs raise, 
Or sing my great Deliverer's praise ! 



MR. JOHN VALTON. 301 

Glory be to God my Saviour, in whom I now truly be- 
lieve and rejoice. This being my intercession day, at 
twelve o'clock I kneeled down before the Lord. No sooner 
was I upon my knees than I felt a strange alteration take 
place in my heart, as in a moment, and after a blissful 
pause, I cried out, for near five minutes, " Glory be to 
God ! glory be to God !" Then I said. Lord, thou hast 
delivered me from all sin : thou hast not failed of all that 
thou hast promised. Glory be to thee, thou hast given 
me my desire over my enemies. I am sure thou hast 
destroyed sin ; I am sure thou hast ! After praising my 
God, for some time, I requested a text of Scripture by way 
of confirmation. I opened the Bible, and fixed my finger 
upon these words : " That as sin hath reigned unto death, 
even so might grace reign through righteousness unto 
eternal life, by Jesus Christ our Lord," Rom. v, 21. I fell 
down on my face, and praised the Lord. I was lost in 
wonder, love, and praise ! I felt indeed the " silent heaven 
of love." Soon after, when I returned to prayer, I felt a 
much greater degree of love than before. I could not 
contain myself; while I was praising God I was so trans- 
ported that I assayed several times to fly from my knees. 
I then began to bless God for Mr. Wesley, who preached 
to us the whole Gospel. And now what shall I say? O 
Lord ! great and marvellous have been thy mercies toward 
me. They are without number, glory be to thy holy 
name ! Thou, thou alone hast wrought all my works in 
me. O do thou establish the thing thou hast wrought in 
me ; and grant that it may be found unto the praise and 
glory of thy name, at the appearing of thy blessed Son, 
my Saviour, Jesus Christ. 

And now, my unbelieving brethren, what will you say 
to these things ? Will you go, as other times, to seek for 
enchantments in order to overthrow this truth, or to explain 
away this glorious salvation ? Will you not cease to per- 
vert the right way of the Lord, and bring an evil report 
on the good land, the rest of grace ? Will you still blas- 
pheme the work of the Holy Ghost, till God, in his just dis- 
pleasure, shall condemn your souls to a wilderness state 
here, and perhaps save you but as by the skin of your 
teeth ! On the first of September the language of my soul 
was, " O my Jesus ! my Christ ! my Redeemer ! my Sa- 

26 



302 MR. JOII]V VALTON. 

viour ! Thou art lovely and precious ! I glory in thee ! I re- 
joice in thee ! How wonderful has been thy love to me ; 
surpassing all conception. O the many snares that are 
laid for me, and yet my blessed Jesus does preserve me, and 
will preserve me to the end. I am weakness, ignorance^ 
and helplessness itself, but my Jesus is strength, and wis- 
dom, and all things to me ! Two or three days after this 
Satan began to assault me. Impure things were so inject- 
ed that I could not read. I sung and prayed, and the Lord 
answered me by Isaiah vi, 7, " Thine iniquity is taken 
aw^ay, and thy sin is purged." But directly after I was 
attacked again, and God then directed me to these words, 
" If ye will not believe, surely ye shall not be established," 
Isa. vii, 29. I stood reproved, and was enabled, for a 
few days, to hold fast my faith, in spite of many tempta- 
tions and foul injections. One night I was sadly harassed 
with dreaming of a lion pursuing me up and down. The 
next day the lion roared upon me indeed ! It was a day 
of sore temptation. After dinner I went with the family 
into the parlour to prayer ; but I could scarce speak. 
Before I had done I sunk upon the floor, quite overcome, 
I begged of them all to leave me, that I might wrestle it 
out alone. O how was I torn and tempted ! What tor- 
ment did I endure, and yet I could praise God ! I was 
much harassed concerning visiting the sick that I had 
no knowledge of, nor knew how to get admittance to. I 
believe Satan drove me into extremes in order to weary 
me out. It is unknown what crosses I had to take up 
respecting this. In the meantime my language was, " O 
my God, forgive me all my unfruitfulness, and deliver me 
from all my fear and shame. My God, thou knowest that 
I not only delight in thee, but the great desire of my soul 
is to bring sinners to the fountain of love. I would give 
my life that I might to the utmost improve my small ta- 
lent, and glorify my blessed Redeemer. O my Saviour, 
give me grace, that I may wholly and simply follow thee, 
bearing thy reproach, and let it ever be my meat and 
drink to do thy will." Under all my sufferings I was 
enabled, for the most part, to believe that I was saved 
from evil, and that God had given me a new heart. 

On the 29th of September, being in London, I went to 
Spitalfields chapel. After the sermon was over, I went 



MR. JOHN VALTOX. 303 

to prayer before sacrament, when the Lord did in a most 
wonderful manner bless me. He poured his love so copi- 
ously into my soul that I hardly knew how to contain my- 
self. There the glorious Lord was unto me as a place of 
broad rivers. I thought I must have cried out, The blood 
of Jesus cleanses from all sin. I never was so overpower- 
ed in my life. My breath and strength were well nigh 
€xhaused in praising God. In the midst of my joys I had 
this scripture impressed on my mind, " This day thou shalt 
be with me in paradise." Instantly, or ever I was aware, 
my soul was like the chariot of Aminadab. I was trans- 
ported to the third heavens, and had a most glorious dis- 
play of that celestial place ! O how did my soul exult and 
gasp t© breathe that purer air ! I longed and expected 
to be dissolved,^ and to be with Christ. O my God, I 
bless thee, for thou art mine, and I am thine for ever. Two 
or three days after this I had another ecstatic view of the 
realms of bliss, and found a strong assurance of my Re- 
deemer's love. 

On the 5th of October, I wrote as follows : " The Lord 
poured his love into my soul this morning. I went to 
church very happy. I do not know that I ever had the 
testimony of the Spirit more clear to the forgiveness of 
sin than I had this morning of my being cleansed from* 
all sin. When I put the question to my soul. Yea, hath 
God destroyed sin ? I felt the Spirit so strongly answer 
me, that I cannot better express the sensation than by 
comparing it to what Elizabeth felt when she heard the 
salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb. In 
prayer, after dinner, I was overcome with what I felt. The 
love of God came so powerfully upon me, that I could 
scarcely bear under it. I thought I must have sunk down. 
A few days after I said, The Lord still blesses me with an 
increase of his love. I scarce ever go upon my knees 
but I have very blessed and glorious displays of his love. 
I feel no doubt, no unbelief, nor (blessed be my God) any 
thing but pure love. My sole desire is after the living 
God, and for more of his image. I feel the presence of 
the Almighty, and his banner over me is love. I long to 
hear that word. Arise, my love, and come away ! 

October 24. O how did the Lord reveal himself to me 
this day ! He gave me the spirit of prayer and supplica- 



304 MR. JOHN VALTON. 

tion. I recapitulated, with joy and thankfulness, the par- 
ticular mercies received since my conversion, and felt an 
inundation of love. All yesterday I felt sweet serenity of 
soul, and this day has been as yesterday, and much more 
abundant. 

October 26. This morning, from half past four till near 
eight, I spent delightfully in prayer and singing. I found 
my God most remarkably present. I sung and prayed with 
tears of love, till my strength was exhausted. 

November 16. I was seized with an illness which ter- 
minated in a cholera morbus. I looked for death every 
hour ; but O, with what transport was I filled ? My joy 
was unspeakable and full of glory. I saw the blessed Jesus 
ready to receive me. I was sick of love ! I cried out in 
these awful moments, The blood of Jesus Christ truly 
cleanses from all sin. I felt it, giving glory to God. 
All the day long Jesus was my joy and my song. The 
next day my raptures were increased. The name of Je- 
sus, or a thought of him, did so agitate my body, that 
I thought the vessel must break to set the soul at large ! I 
cried out, " The love of God will kill me ! It is too 
much. I cannot contain myself!" The raptures of my 
soul were inexpressible, and my joy insupportable. My 
<;ongue was fully employed all day in declaring the loving 
kindness of the Lord. 

November 18. I was apprehensive of death, and was 
truly happy. In the midst of prayer these words were 
applied to my heart : " Gad, a troop shall overcome him^ 
but he shall overcome at last." How truly these words 
were verified, the sequel will show. I told a friend wjio 
came in that I had some trial coming on, and began pre- 
paring for battle. About four that afternoon I thought 
(and only thought) I felt something contrary to love. In 
an instant I lost sight of God, and Christ, and all conso- 
lation. 

Despair almost seized me. When my friends were 
gone out of the parlour, I fell back in my chair, and with 
my arms extended, body distorted, and eyes uplifted, I 
blessed my God, and kissed that hand that seemed to be 
consuming me for my unfaithfulness, I could only adore. 
I could not blame nor accuse my God. I am amazed that 
nature could endure so much. 



MR. JOHN VALTON. 305 

To conclude this year's account. Although I endea- 
voured to be as useful as my small talent would permit, 
and live a life of prayer and self-denial, giving myself 
up to God, and to the profit of my fellow creatures, yet 
Satan was continually driving me on into things beyond 
my measure, and hissing into my ears that I was " an un- 
profitable servant." Not discerning the agency of Satan, 
this, together with an ague and fever my body was afflict- 
ed with, caused me sore distress, as will appear in the 
subsequent account. 

January 1, 1767, I wrote as follows. I have no doubt 
but that the Lord did deliver me from all sin, but whether 
it is so now or not I cannot tell. I cannot say that I find 
any m.urmuring or impatience. I am content to suflfer, 
so that I may be presented blameless at the coming of the 
Lord Jesus. I hate all praise, seeing that I am vile, 
ignorant, and helpless ; yea, a dead dog ! O my God ! 
shine upon the work thou hast wrought, that I may know 
the things that are freely given me of God. Make me a 
pillar in thy temple that I may go out no more. 

February 18. This day that text, " Gad, a troop shall 
overcome him," was explained to me more clearly and 
fully than ever. I have, for some months past, run the 
gauntlet, and have had a temptation to most of those sins 
that formerly dwelt in my heart. I was violently beset 
by the fear of man, shame of my Master's cross, and fears 
of not holding out. The horrible decree sounded in my 
ears, " Thy destiny is damnation." Sloth, envy, jealousy, 
pride, anger, and love of the creatures, I had temptations 
to all these ; and yet under all I saw God always to be 
love, and I also loved him. 

These make up but a small part of my sore temptations 
during this year. But beside these, it was given me to 
suffer by outward persecution also, as the sequel will show. 

On the 12th of March, I went to R m (a place near 

four miles from where I lived) to hear a preacher that was 
invited down by a gentleman of the place, to preach at 
his house. Soon after the preacher began, the father-in- 
law of the gentleman came in, with two more persecutors. 
He was a great tall man, and armed with a large whip, 
and primed with drink. Having asked the preacher a few 
tjuestions, he was proceeding to violence, but Mr. G — k 

26* 



806 MR, JOHN VALTOIi. 

made his escape into an inner chamber. He then violently 
attacked me, and thrust me out of the room. I retired 
then into the kitchen, and was praying by the fireside, ex- 
pecting that I had had my portion. Soon after he came 
in and flew upon me, and swore he would broil me, and 
immediately seized me by the breast, and thrust my back 
against the bars, abusing me most horribly. He then 
took me up and was going to lay me upon the fire, but 
was prevented by the other two, who were afraid that he 
might go too far in his rage. He then dragged me to the 
door, and threw me into the hands of a large mob, who 
cried out, " Tear him to pieces ! tear him to pieces ! this 
is the clerk." With that they all surrounded me, and be- 
gan to pull several ways. The first pull tore my shirt 
nearly from top to bottom. Some pulled me by the hair, 
some by my cravat, and were about to throw me off* the 
coal wharf (which was within a few yards) into the river. 
The tide was down, so that had they flung me in, I should 
in all probability have been smothered in the mud. Ex- 
pecting to be torn or trod in pieces every moment, I cried 
out, " Will you murder me ?" Immediately God sent the 
ringleader of the mob to tear me out of their hands. He 
then bade me begone home, and uttered abusive language. 
A person present that favoured me, undertook to escort 
me safe from the mob, but meeting the minister and his 
wife in the town, he left me, fearing to give offence. The 
minister abused me, only not so bad as the great persecu- 
tor. I answered him with a few mild words, and went on 
my way, I had near four miles to go in the dark, but the 
Lord brought me safely home : thanks be to his holy name 
for the great deliverance. 

Some time after this, I had another instance of the guar- 
dian care of my gracious Lord. I was returning from 
London in a Gravesend vessel, where were some gentle- 
men and ladies, and others. One of the gentlemen swore 
like a trooper. I lovingly reproved him. This made him 
exceeding mad, and he called me many names, I spoke 
to them all in great love, plainness, and earnestness, spar- 
ing neither rank nor sex. One gentleman spoke very big 
words, but he could then go no farther. Some time after 
we were standing upon the desk, and looking toward the 
shore, which was some distance from the vessel^ the river 



MR. JOHN VALTON. 307 

being there about a mile over at high water. While I 
was standing there, the boom of the ship turned over to 
the side I was standing on, and no one giving me timely 
notice, I was knocked overboard, and plunged over head 
with my great coat and gloves on. They never offered 
to help, or throw out any thing for me to lay hold on, but 
did me the kindness to cry out to a man on shore to get 
his boat out and come to me. As I was nothing of a 
swimmer, it was a wonder that I was not drowned. My 
great coat providentially swam on the water, and kept me 
from sinking, till the waterman got to me and saved me. 
I believe a quarter of a minute more had landed me on 
Canaan's shore. The waterman then rowed after the 
vessel for my things, and the ship's company then gather- 
ed about me, expressing their amazement at my deliver- 
ance ; and could not help owning the adorable hand of my 
gracious Redeemer. 

I was rowed ashore and put into a warm bed, and was 
as well as ever very soon. O my God, thou hast brought me 
through fire and water, and yet my life is spared. O that 
I may glorify thee therewith. Indeed, I have experi- 
mentally known the truth of that scripture, " All that will 
live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution." I 
have made it my one endeavour to do good both to the 
souls and bodies of my fellow creatures ; yet am I the 
scorn, derision, and reproach of all ; and I believe many 
would think they did God service by murdering me. — 
Added to my other trials, I suffered much from a nervous 
fever, and sometimes from the ague. For a considerable 
time I could hardly speak or read, through a weakness in 
my head, and often in my limbs ; insomuch that I could 
not be at ease in any posture. However, my God sup- 
ported me, and I was enabled to say with the same breath 
that cried out, " Behold, and see if there be any sorrow 
like unto my sorrow, which is done unto me, — Righteous 
art thou, O God, in all thy deaUngs. I lay my soul in the 
dust, and dare not say, What dost thou ? Thou dealest 
not with me as I deserve, but as I need. I bow my soul 
before thee, and pray that thou wouldst do with me what 
seemeth thee best." 

On the 5th of May, being ill of a fever, my temptations 
subsided, and the following scripture being deeply im- 



308 MR. JOHN VALTON. 

pressed on my heart was a great support to it : "I will 
keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on me." 
The Lord was unto me as a place of broad rivers. His 
peace overflowed my soul. The dreadfuUest representa- 
tion of hell that I could frame in my mind could not move 
me. I apprehended that I should die that day, my fever 
being extreme, yet my soul was a heaven : I had, as it 
were, a view of paradise. NQver did I imagine that it was 
possible for a soul at death to be so divested of fear, and 
have a hope so full of immortality. O how full was my 
heart of love, peace, and joy ! I scarcely felt any pain, 
my comforts were so strong ! At another time I expressed 
myself nearly in these words : I see more and more the 
love of my adorable Jesus. I see him full of grace and 
truth, I have power given me to commit myself singly 
to his disposal, that his excellent wisdom may be my guide. 
Temptations are frequently helps to me. They keep me 
awake and stir me up to courage, diligence, and prayer. — 
I have greater communion with the world of spirits than 
ever ; and seem often to have sweet fellowship with the 
saints in paradise. The invisible world seems very nigh, 
and I often think myself on the very borders of it. Surely 
now I taste of the powers of the world to come, and feast 
on the tree of life, which is for the healing of the nations. 

God, my soul doth praise thee ; for thou has redeemed 
me from sin. Glory be to thee for ever ! Hallelujah ! 

At another time I said, I am this morning fully assured 
of honour, glory, and immortality. I feel akindofhea- 
ven in general, and in prayer I have very wonderful dis- 
plays of the love of God. I hide me in the dust while I 
cry out, O God, thou hast wrought all these works in me ! 

1 am nothing ! Christ is all ! No tongue can tell what 
abasement 1 have felt : even while writing, I have been 
obliged to prostrate myself on the floor, and water it with 
tears of joy. In the morning I thought that I should die. 
Instantly I felt this scripture applied, " Thou shalt no 
more drink of the cup of trembling." I beUeved, and 
worshipped the Lord. At another time I cried out, O the 
sweet fellowship I have with the Father and the Son ! — - 
My soul has been a heaven for some days. Surely a 
small degree beyond my present experience would quite 
overcome me. I felt so much, that I was constrained to 



MR. JOH>i VALTON. 309 

pray to the Lord to summon me away, that I might for 
ever embrace my glorified Redeemer. I must observe 
that these strong consolations directly followed my deli- 
verance from extreme sufferings. 

I must not omit to mention that I had many answers to 
prayer in the course of this year ; and comfortable scrip- 
tures were applied at times to my suffering heart : espe- 
cially toward the close of my sore afflictions. The Lord 
began my deliverance with the application of this scripture 
in prayer : " Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come 
away!" I had then seemingly a view of paradise, and 
prayed like a man of another world. I find two kinds of 
prayer in myself One is an impetuous, violent crying 
out for the blessings I seek ; there is much of nature in 
this. The other is plaintive, weeping prayer, coming from 
a broken, bleeding, loving heart ; -here is much of the Di- 
vine unction in this. I never set apart a day of prayer 
and fasting, to implore any mercy for myself, the Church, 
or the nation, but I had some gracious answer. 

With respect to my employment this year, I once or 
twice read and prayed to a few people at the place where 
I lived : visited all the sick that I could, and endeavoured 
to be as useful as possible. I had many trials from the 
deadness and unfaithfulness of the people here, and shed 
many tears on their account. One day while I was be- 
moaning the deadness and departure of some of them, the 
Lord graciously answered me with the following words : 
" Delight thou in the Lord, and verily thou shalt be fed.'* 
I wrote many letters to ministers and others, the success 
of which will only be known when God shall make up his 
jewels. After the Lord had delivered me out of my sore 
distress, and in faithfulness to his promise given me to 
overcome, I went to London for some weeks, and there 
lived a kind of angelic life. I frequently went to hospitals 
and prisons, and exhorted and prayed with the patients, 
&c. I spent most of the day in visiting the sick and 
tempted, and on Sundays I used to reprove all the Sabbath- 
breakers and swearers that I met with. It was in the 
month of August, 1767, that God enabled me to preach 
from a text to my little company. He gave me much en- 
couragement, so that from this day I began to lay aside 
my reading. At times I was very sorely tried on account 



^310 MR. JOHN VALTON. 

of preaching, and have been near giving it up. Wisdom 
and memory were wonderfully given me, and I laboured 
to improve my talent. I must here make a remark re- 
specting the erroneous conclusions that those draw from 
our being made pure in heart, that it swells the soul with 
pride, and supersedes the merits of Christ. Alas ! poor 
souls, they do err, not knowing this state by experience. 
Who is so blind as the Lord's servant : as he that is per- 
fect 1 I loathe myself more and more. The more I know 
and love my God, the more I loathe myself. The more 
obedient I am, the more unprofitable I seem to myself. — 
O my God, I am nothing ; but thou art my all. Jesus is 
my hope and my boast. Glory be to my God ! 

On the 1st of January, 1768, I wrote nearly as follows : 
" O my God, how manifold have been thy mercies to me, 
the chief of sinners ! Thou hast performed the mercy pro- 
mised me, by delivering me out of the hands of all my ene- 
mies, that I might serve thee without fear, in holiness and 
righteousness all the days of my life. Thou hast given 
me to overcome, and a hope and belief that I shall no more 
drink of the cup of trembling. Thou art my God and my 
all. Glory be to thee for ever." 

My next volume contains the most remarkable occur- 
rences in the space of about eighteen months. A few 
particulars I shall subjoin : — Although God had most won- 
derfully delivered me, and my soul was a heaven, com- 
pared with former years, yet I had many sharp tempta- 
tions interspersed with my consolations. On the 21st of 
February I wrote : This was a morning of sore tempta- 
tion, till nine or ten o'clock. I most earnestly besought the 
Lord to deliver me, and cried very passionately to be se- 
cured from future evil. In the midst of my distress the 
Lord answered, " My grace is sufficient for thee." I ac- 
knowledged the truth of the scripture, and praised the 
Lord. 

Feb. 28. This was a bitter morninor. I was closely 
beset by my old enemy. My strength was wept away 
before breakfast. Surely I shall soon weep my last. — 
Known unto the Lord is all my trouble. Surely he will 
•soon wipe away all tears from my eyes. One day, in the 
midst of my distress, Satan hissed these words into my 
ears, "Examine him with tortures and despitefulness, that 



MR. JOHN VALTON. 31 L 

we may know his weakness, and prove his patience," Wis- 
dom of Solomon ii, 19. And, indeed, he was permitted, at 
times, to make the experiment ; but I was graciously pre- 
served. In the course of this year Lord and the Rev. 

Dr. B prevented my extending my little labours among 

the simple, teachable people. My friend was forbid giving 
me entrance into his house. My God ! lay it not to their 
charge. As I was not without sufferings, neither was I 
without extraordinary consolations. It was in one of these 
sweat seasons that I said, This morning Jesus crucified 
was right amiable to my soul. I saw that whatever I ask- 
ed, I had. I laboured for language to debase myself, and 
worthily to magnify the Lord my Saviour. Surely I 
shall live with him for ever. I long to be in paradise. 
My time is surely at hand. The will of the Lord be 
done? Amen. Hallelujah to God and the Lamb! At 
another time, when I was walking for my health, my 
soul anticipated the pleasures of Eden, and tasted the 
powers of the world to come. I had a happy assurance 
of my eternal endurance, and thought that my soul was 
on the verge of glory, honour, and immortality. At 
times I have been so filled with peace and joy that I 
could not refrain leaping and praising God on the road. 
Indeed, in the general, I enjoy a heaven on earth, and find 
a comfortable assurance that I never shall be blotted out of 
the book of life. During this period I was favoured 
with ability to help my neighbours, both in spirituals 
and temporals, which greatly increased my confidence in 
the Lord. One instance I will mention : T. O., belonging 
to my little society here, was arrested for a debt, contract- 
ed in his unconverted state. On their way to jail they 
stopped at an inn. His wife came to me, and desired 
that I would go to the inn, and give him some spiritual 
advice before he went away. Accordingly I went, and 
sung and prayed with him, his wife, and the bailiffs. After 
prayer, the Lord having touched the creditor's heart, she 
made a very gracious composition with me for him. I 
borrowed the money demanded, and paid it for him. On 
my way home I was in some pain for having run myself so 
much in debt : but, having lifted up my voice in prayer to 
God, I came home, and, to my very great comfort, found 
more than that sum left for me by a merchant. 



312 MR. JOHN VALTON. 

This year I was enabled to preach in a friend's house 
two or three times a week, and to meet a few in class. I 
also catechised a few children, and spent my spare time in 
writing letters on Divine subjects. When I w^ent to Lon- 
don I often visited Guy's Hospital, and the New Prison, 
and found much sweetness and success in my undertakings. 
At home sinners were convinced, some justified, and others 
sanctified by the grace of God. The news of this reach- 
ing you, sir, in London, made you invite me forth to 
a more entire devotedness to the service of souls. But 
being conscious that I had neither health, courage, gifts, 
nor grace for the work, I could not agree with your sen- 
timents. The time was not fully come. However, I set 
myself to extirpate Sabbath-breaking near me, and what 
loving advice could not do I endeavoured to effect by ap- 
plying to the magistrate. By these things, you may sup- 
pose, I brought upon myself ill will ; but the Lord stood by 
me, and suffered no one to do me any harm. — Glory be to 
his holy name ! 

This year I made an excursion into Gloucestershire, 
and was at Painswick for four or five weeks, where God 
was pleased to bless my simple conversation to several. 
Some received the pure love of God, and many were re- 
freshed as well as my own soul. I seemed like a pure spi- 
rit while I was there, and stood on tiptoe to reach the fair 
regions of the skies. 

The next volume of my experience contains about three 
years' account of God's dealings with me. During that 
time my temptations and sufl^erings were small, compared 
with what I had undergone in the preceding years. I was 
enabled to go on, preaching and visiting the sick, as usuaK 
My greatest trials arose now from my timidity and weak- 
ness respecting preaching. Many times I have been 
ready to say, " I will speak no more in his name ;" but 
I could not recede. It was come to this, " Wo is me if I 
preach not the Gospel." However the success that I met 
with, and the comfort I felt in my own soul, encouraged 
me to go on. About July, 1772, I went to Dover for the 
benefit of the salt water, and was enabled to supply the 
absence of a preacher in that town for some weeks. I 
found much life and liberty there, and believe that my 
labours were not in vain. As you were informed of my 



MR. JOHN VALTON. 313 

proceedings, I received several letters from you, calling 
me forth to a more public work. But I could not consent. 
A full conviction of my ignorance, weakness, and bashful- 
ness, satisfied me that I was not then called to it. My 
reasons satisfied you for that time ; but you told me you 
believed I should by and by. Soon after this I had an 
offer of a different kind, made me by the late earl of 

D r, to be page of the presence to the queen ; but as 

I feared a post of honour, and at court too, I thankfully 
declined it in favour of my sister's husband. The reasons 
I assigned in my journal were, " I am here quiet, unfa- 
shionable, unnoticed, except by way of derision. I have 
also a few souls to care for, and, above all, one of my 
own : and I chose rather to suffer affliction with the people 
of God, than to enjoy the favours, honours, and riches of a 
court. Adieu, vain world. Stand aloof with thy slighted 
charms. The Lord is my portion for ever. Hallelujah !" 

On the 1st of Jan., 1773, I wrote as follows : — " As to 
my soul, I now enjoy a measure of the fruits of the Spirit. 
I love the Lord my God above all things here below ; but 
still I have reason to complain, as I do not now enjoy that 
love that casteth out fear, nor have I that firm persuasion 
that I shall overcome at the last." I remember some time 
ago, through very perplexing trials and temptations, I was 
led publicly to declare that I had lost the pure love of God. 
Scarce had I yielded to this, but I became too late sen- 
sible that my unbeUef, at this juncture, had effected what 
I before only supposed had been done. The Lord has chas- 
tened my yielding to unbeUef : for I have never since had 
a clear testimony that I was saved from sin. However, I 
have enjoyed almost a continual calm, and daily feel a 
longing for home. 

Toward the middle of the year 1774 I was brought into 
a very weak and low state of body, which lasted for some 
months. I changed the air for near three months, and it 
pleased the Lord at last to restore me in some degree, 
and I returned to the office. It was during this infirmity 
that I had a remarkable dream, the purport of which I did 
not then understand ; but for which I had afterward great 
cause to praise the Lord. I thought I climbed up an ex- 
ceeding high mountain; so steep that I was obliged to cut 
5teps in some places to get up. However, the journey 

27 



314 MR. JOHN VALTON. 

was not unpleasant to me. When I was at the top^ I soon 
met with a cottage, which I entered, and began to speak 
to the poor labourer and his family. I thought they re- 
ceived the word with pure affection, and went around the 
mountain, and called all that they could together. 1 
thought I preached to them, and settled a society there, 
and promised that I would get two of my brethren to sup- 
ply my lack of service. I left them very happy. As I 
was returning, I thought. Surely there must be some mad 
bull upon this mountain, which will prevent my going 
home. Scarcely had this passed my mind, but I espied 
one in the way. However, I went to him, and he was 
not suffered to do me any harm. I got home safe, and 
was very happy; then I awoke, and behold it was a 
dream. I thought within myself. Shall I be called to go 
forth to preach the Gospel ? How can this agree with an 
impression that I have had these several years, that I 
should die in my thirty-fifth year ? It was then explain- 
ed to me that I should, in that year, die to all worldly 
things, and be entirely devoted to the service of God and 
his Church. Some months after, all this came to pass, as 
the sequel will show. 

These two or three years past my employment has been 
expounding the Scripture three times a week ; meeting a 
class, and catechising children. I also set up an evening 
school for instructing the poor, miserable lime-bumers' 
children, and prevailed with three of my society to take it 
in turns with me. We taught them reading and writing, 
(fee, and found most of them books, and I instructed them 
from time to time in the principles of religion. As my 
income was small. Providence raised up friends to bless 
and favour my design. There was a prospect of much 
good, and many would have had cause to bless God for 
the undertaking, had not their wicked parents, in spite ot* 
all remonstrance, allowed them to run away to play, and 
thereby frustrate our design. Another thing I undertook 
with a good design, which kept me very poor, involved 
me in debt, and in time hurt my soul. I began to study 
and practise physic for the good of the poor, hoping there- 
by to have access to sick beds, and to be instrumental to 
the good of their ouls. I procured an electrical machine, 
learned to bleed, and laid in a large assortment of medi- 



MR. JOHN VALTON. 315 

cines. The Lord most wonderfully prospered my under- 
taking. The deaf, the halt, the withered, and many others 
diseased, received a cure under my hands. This success 
brought me many patients. Their cases required me to 
study, and the remedies exhausted my pocket, so that I be- 
came so perplexed for want of time, and also (notwithstand- 
ing many remarkable assisting providences) for want of 
sufficient recruits to support the undertaking, that my mind 
was very much hurt. But God, when I was in the very 
zenith of popular favour, most graciously removed me. — 
Indeed, both my mind and body were sorely harassed 
through much labour of different kinds. However, the 
Lord made me useful to his Church also, for several were 
convinced and converted, who will, I trust, be the crown of 
my rejoicing in a future day. I bore this burden for a long 
time ; but at last, as the time drew near for the accom- 
plishment of my dream, the burden became intolerable. 
My constitution was ruined, chiefly by the unwholesome 
air of the place where I lived. The physician told me that 
sitting at a desk would not do for me. Another eminent 
man told me that I was murdering myself. Riding was 
proposed to me as the most promising expedient to pro- 
tract my life, and perhaps the only one. Several letters 
from friends, after two or three months' sufferings, brought 
me forth. The pious Mr. Samuel Wells (now in para- 
dise) gave me the conquering stroke. " I do not know," 
says he, " but God hath said, Preach or perish." I then 
came to a resolution to forsake all, and set out with my 
staff. When I came to this conclusion, Satan set upon 
me for some weeks, with greater violence than ever, 
in order to stop me. Unknown are the sufferings I went 
through. Scarce had I two hours' sleep in the night, but 
all was literally weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of 
teeth. I used frequently to flee into a neighbouring wood, 
and in the most latent part spend several hours in bitter 
lamentations and cries to God for power and courage to 
give up all. At last, early one morning I arose, and with 
the best preparation I could, went to London. I there 
wrote my letter of resignation. When I had done, I fell 
down on my knees, and with the deepest gratitude praised 
my God for the power. I said with tears, O my God, I 
thank thee for having given me this place for so many 



316 MR. JOHN VALTON. 

years ; and now thou requires! thine own again : lo ! here 
I present unto thee that which is thine, and cast my soul 
and body upon thy providence. This I spake with a heart 
deluged with grateful tears. Scarce had I made this ob- 
lation, but Satan tempted me to disbelieve the being of a 
God. I could not have known the strength of a fallen 
angel, had it not been for this sore temptation. I was 
almost an atheist till I arrived at Leeds, a few days be- 
fore the conference. Soon after I got to my quarters 
there all my temptations vanished away, and my soul re- 
turned to its rest : and never since has it materially suf- 
fered from Satan. How was the dream verified that I had 
when I first began to seek the Lord ! So soon as I strip- 
ped the clothes off Satan, he got up in a rage and pursued 
me. So now being about to strip him of his subjects, he 
collected all his power and malice to make his last strong 
push at me ; but, blessed be the Lord my God, I still stand ! 
None but the great God can tell what I went through the 
two last months that preceded my going forth to preach 
the Gospel. Night and day my soul was upon the 
rack, and the sleep departed from my eyes. This I can 
truly say, the Lord hath thrust me out ; for never surely 
did such a concurrence of circumstances meet to manifest 
the will of God. 

A few days before the conference, Mr. Pawson desired 
me to preach for him at Leeds, which I did to near five 
hundred people. I went into the pulpit with much fear 
and trembling, but was enabled to get through pretty well. 
All the time I was at Leeds I was exceedingly happy, and 
was engaged all day in spiritual exercises, in which I found 
myself much blessed. 

On the 2d of August, 1775, I was admitted upon trial,, 
and was sent into Oxfordshire with Samuel Wells and G. 
Shorter, both now in Abraham's bosom. As soon as I 
came to Witney, the first place in my circuit, I found a 
letter, requiring my presence in London. Here, to my 
infinite surprise, I found all my relations very cordial to- 
ward me, nor did any of them censure my conduct. It 
also pleased the Lord while I was here, to make a settle- 
ment upon me for life ; for which I have cause indeed to 
love and bless him for ever. In this circuit I was two 
years, and was kindly received by an affectionate people^ 



MR. JOHN VALTON. 317 

The circuit was a very hard one, having long journeys, 
and a great scarcity of fuel ; but the Lord was my support. 
Soon after I came into it, being at High Wycomb, a young 
woman Uved somewhere there that I had seen, and been 
acquainted with. I got a guide, and set out one morning 
to inquire for her. A httle while after she took me to see 
a young person who was very ill. I had a good time with 
her, and proposed coming at night to preach at that barren 
place. Consent was given, and the whole neighbourhood 
was invited : accordingly I preached, and the word was 
received with pure affection, and a society was soon form- 
ed. As I was going thither, my way lay up a hill, so high 
and steep that steps had been cut to accommodate the tra- 
vellers, agreeable to my dream, previous to my coming 
forth. This very much strengthened me, and was like the 
sign given to Moses at Horeb, before he left Egypt. 
When the word began to be felt, and a society formed, 

the Rev. Mr. T. W s, an Antinomian preacher, began 

to roar upon us like a bull ; but, according to my dream, 
he did us no harm. 

The year after I laboured among as loving a people in 
the Gloucestershire circuit, and, blessed be God ! our labour 
was not in vain. They would have borne with me another 
year, but my constitution was so impaired that I could 
not bear so much riding, so I was obliged to be remov- 
ed. I cannot omit making mention of the loving kind- 
ness of the Lord to me this year : having been seized 
with a bilious fever, which continued some weeks, my lot 
was cast at Stroud. Here I met with a tender nurse and 

kind friena, Mrs. Se e, who removed me to her house, 

and, together with the rest of that loving family, showed 
me no little kindness ; so that by the help of a skilful apo- 
thecary, and the blessing of God, I was enabled in a few 
weeks to return to my labour. Two or three nights after 

I set out I was put into a damp bed at C : this im- 

mediately brought on my disorder again, and obliged me 
to retire to a farm house near Worcester, where I remain- 
ed some weeks. But during this, and the whole time I 
have laboured in the Gospel, I have found much peace 
and comfort in my soul, which have enabled me to bear 
up under the hardships of an itinerant life. 

At the next Leeds conference I was appointed for the 

27* 

/ 



318 MR. JOHN VALTOW. 

Bristol circuit. As soon as I heard my destiny my soul 
was in a furnace ; I wrote to you, sir, entreating you to- 
send me anywhere rather than there. Bristol and Bath 
appeared so formidable that I was sorely distressed both in 
soul and body ; however, in spite of all my remonstrances,- 
you continued in your resolution that I should go there^ 
I continued in much distress for some days ; at last, while 
I was in prayer one evening, the Lord relieved my 
soul with these comfortable words, " Wait thou his time^ 
so shall this night end in joyous day." Soon after I 
came to Bristol, I was obliged to retire for some weeks 
to Norton, where I met with uncommon kindness from 
those dear friends to the cause of God, Mr. and Mrs. 
Wait. Here I gave myself up to prayer, and gathered 
both bodily and spiritual strength. I spent this year 
with great satisfaction; having most agreeable fellow- 
labourers. We saw a blessed work break out, and many 
souls were added to the societies. The people in this 
circuit were uncommonly affectionate, and I thought I 
should be glad to finish my course among them. The next 
year I was appointed for this circuit again, but had some 
heavy trials : a circumstance that happened at Bath 
greatly distressed my soul, and gave a general wound to 
the cause of God. However, the few last months that 
I was there, I enjoyed a heaven upon earth, and left them 
with great pain of mind. The last place I left was Al- 
monsbury r a place that I had been at, for my health about 
a fortnight. Here I met with a tender affectionate friend 
that showed me every kindness for her Master's sake, and 
I came away with much sorrow. 

At the Bristol conference, 1780, I was appointed for 
Manchester : when I came there my soul entered into 
great sufferings : the thoughts of my dear Bristol people^ 
and the dread that I had upon my mind concerning the 
office which was laid upon me, as the assistant, quite 
drank up my spirits: however, by the grace of God, I set 
my shoulders to the work, and endeavoured to lay out my 
life and soul in his service. God was pleased to own me 
and my fellow labourer, so that between two and three 
hundred new members were received into the society, and 
there was a general revival throughout the circuit. When f 
came first into it I was quite a stranger to the complexion 



\ 



MR. JOHN VALTON* 31 9^ 

of this people, and interpreted their shyness to stran- 
gers as a defect of love ; but, however, I can say I found 
them a most affectionate, generous, steady people; and 
with tears in my eyes, I can add, they lie near my heart. 

Soon after I began my work I found that my constitution 
could not bear the journeys, so I was obliged to call for 
help. You sent me another preacher, which afforded me- 
the opportunity of being more useful to the circuit. I 
should have been very useful about Rochdale, had it not 
been for two or three members of that society, who required 
me to do what I could not, either in point of conscience 
or equity. They so prejudiced some of the simple peo- 
ple, and so broke my spirits, as well as hurt my body, 
that the work was entirely stopped; my intended expe- 
ditions to the neighbouring villages prevented, and I 
fear, many precious souls wounded, if not murdered, 
through their conduct. Lord, lay not this sin to their 
charge ! Their conduct, and the harm that I saw they 
were likely to do, caused me to groan and weep on my 
bed ; my very heart bled, and I poured out strong cries 
and tears to God to come to my help. I had very remarka- 
ble answers to prayer ; and when I had settled this affair 
to the best of my power, and was on my return from Roch- 
dale, I was conscientiously reviewing my conduct, as be- 
fore God, to see if I had acted amiss in the affair ; im- 
mediately these words came with a Divine unction to my 
soul : — 

The opening heavens around me shine 
With beams of sacred bliss. 

On this I greatly rejoiced, and gave glory to God I 

Some time in the winter I went to a neighbouring vil- 
lage, called Clodwick, consisting chiefly of colliers and 
weavers. I preached to a crowded room full, and with 
much comfort, and I believe many felt the word : I preach- 
ed a second time with peace and pleasure. The third 
time I went I endeavoured to preach out of doors ; but 
as Satan's kingdom began to suffer, (several being awa- 
kened and joined to the society,) he mustered up his forces, 
who, being armed with stones and noisy instruments, 
attacked us furiously. They gnashed on m.e with their 
teeth, and threw large coals and stones at me: I was 
obliged, after a time, to retire into the house, which I did 



320 MR. JOHN VALTON. 

unhurt, and sung and prayed with a few serious people* 
When I set off for Oldham with some of my friends, the 
floods lifted up their voice ; they threw dirt and stones 
amain, yet only one woman was materially hurt, who re- 
ceived a dangerous cut in her head. We were obliged to 
commence an action against four or five of the rioters, or 
we must have been murdered, had we gone there again ; 
however, several of the people were received into society, 
and were filled with all peace and joy in believing. The 
lawsuit was compromised, and they now met in peace. I 
had also very severe trials from another quarter. When 
the new house was opened at Manchester, and I saw such 
large congregations, I suffered immensely through my 
timidity. Standing in that pulpit was to me like stand- 
ing to be shot ; but, however, the gracious Lord brought 
me through the year. 

At the Leeds conference I was appointed for Manches- 
ter again ; but fearing some extraordinary trials, and dis- 
approving of some late things which had occurred ; I de- 
sired you to remove me to Birstal. You consented ; but 
my friends at Manchester were determined not to part 
with me till they had received an answer to a petition for 
my return. During this suspense I went to Liverpool. — 
Here I remained three weeks, and spent my time much to 
my profit and comfort, with a loving, generous people ; 
and I believe we were mutally profited by this interview. 

When I returned to Manchester I received your letter 
fixing me for Birstal. Soon after this I repaired to my 
circuit, and met with much kindness from the people. 
This encouraged me to undertake some difficult things 
which my nature shrunk at. However, through the help 
of my God, I was brought through as well as I could ex- 
pect. Although this is the most easy and suitable circuit 
for me, who cannot bear much riding, yet I find here 
enough to convince me it is through much tribulation we 
enter the kingdom. But I enjoy vast peace of mind, and 
can appeal to God, that his glory, the good of the Church, 
and the eternal welfare of my own soul, are the grand 
objects I have daily in view. 

Through the mercy of God, and the faithful concur- 
rence of my fellow labourers, good has been done, and I 
have had the promise of a farther revival sealed on my 



MR. JOHN VALTON. 321 

heart. It was on this wise : — After a shower of tears, 
when in private prayer at Daw-Green, I came down 
from my chamber, and joined the family in prayer. 
The power of God fell upon me, and I prayed as the 
Spirit gave me utterance. I prayed fervently for the 
circuit, and had a blessed revival before my eyes. I 
praised God by way of anticipation ; being assured that 
he was about to work. The family felt the Divine 
unction, and I was so exhausted I could scarce get up 
from my knees. 

I should not omit an unpromising circumstance that 
happened some time after I came into the circuit. Mr. 

F r carried away a burning and shining light from 

Cross-Hall, and thereby deprived me of a blessed help- 
er. I was invited to be with them on the day of their 
espousals, and never before knew such a blessed wed- 
ding. I now saw indeed that marriage is honourable 
in all ; being instituted by God, in a state of innocence, 
and in the garden of paradise. May eternal happiness 
crown this devoted pair. 

I must now draw to a conclusion, praising and blessing 
my God, whose mercy, love, and faithfulness have been 
s6 wonderfully manifested in my pilgrimage. I still find 
my whole soul in the work. But my spirits are far too 
active for my body. My constitution is very weak, and, 
like Saul's armour to David, is a sore clog to my spirit. 
I hope to live and die in the cause of my adorable Re- 
deemer and his beloved people ; I fervently pray that I 
may end my life in his work. My soul is happy ! Di- 
vine transport possesses my breast, and Jesus is my 
daily theme : my all in all for ever and ever ! With 
pleasure and confidence I still declare to all the world, — 

Ye all may know that God is true, 
Ye all may feel that God is love^ 

In this spirit I hope to remain till the mercy of God, 
and the sole merits of my adorable Redeemer, shall 
introduce my blushing spirit into the society of angels 
and saints, to swell the sound of Jesus' fame, and praise 
my God for ever and ever. I am, Rev. sir, your most 
affectionate son in the Gospel. J. V. 

P. S. Thus far I wrote before the conference. Since 



322 MR. THOMAS PAYNE. 

then I have been appointed for Birstal again. I have 
the prospect of much suffering here, through an unfor- 
tunate affair. But all is well. My conscience is 
undeiiled. The Lord is before my eyes, and, by the 
grace of God, I will hold fast my integrity unto the 
end. 

We took in above two hundred new members last 
year, and we have a fair prospect in some places this 
year. In the midst of great anguish of spirit (through 
the troubles of the Church) I had one morning the most 
gracious visit from heaven that I have had for some 
years. O how I laboured in familiar prayer with God 
that I might then finish my work ! " O come, Lord 
Jesus, come quickly." Even so. Amen. Hallelujah! 



MR. THOMAS PAYNE. 



TO REV. JOHN WESLEY. 

Waterford, March 16, 1781. 

Rev. Sir, — At your request I undertake a work of 
which, God knows, I am ashamed. For when I look 
back on my past tempers, words, and actions, I am 
really amazed that I am yet alive : for surely I have de- 
served the lowest place in hell. I was created to be 
happy ; but I chose the means of misery : and firmly 
believe myself the most unworthy of all that body of 
preachers with whom I am connected. 

I was born at Nailsworth, near Stroud, in Glouces- 
tershire, in the year 1741, of very pious and upright 
parents. They were, by profession. Particular Ana- 
baptists : and they lived in the fear and love of God. 
My father laboured to train up his children in the same — 
seconding his precepts by his examples and prayers, 
he kept up family devotion twice a day, reading a chap- 
ter or psalm first. And twice a day, early and late, he 



MR. THOMAS PAYNE. 323 

spent a considerable time with God in secret. Thus he 
walked with God himself, and incited his children to fol- 
low him. He never spoiled the child by sparing the 
rod, but always remonstrated, and then corrected. 
And his well timed corrections seldom failed to leave 
some good impressions upon us. 

On his deathbed he gave me his dying charge, with a 
prayer, which I believe God sealed in heaven. As 
my mother was weeping, and wishing that God would 
spare him a little longer, he said, " Would you wish 
me so much evil as to be any longer detained from the 
joys of heaven? Poor Tom (meaning me) will lose a 
good friend to-morrow, about two o'clock." The next 
day, about that time, he cried out, " Lord, how long are 
thy chariot wheels coming?" and within a few mo- 
ments after sweetly fell asleep. 

I heartily thank God for a pious education, which 
laid a foundatfon for a future reformation. From the 
earhest period of recollection, I found the strivings of 
God's Spirit. I formed many good resolutions from 
time to time ; but quickly broke through them all ; al- 
though when I was ten years old I prayed much, and 
desired to be truly religious. I was left under the care 
of a currier and leather-dresser, who carried on the 
shoe-making business. But, being under little restraint, 
and continually exposed to bad company, I gave way 
to youthful follies, till I left my place, without asking 
leave ; and till my friends sent me to London. Being 
now among religious people who belonged to Mr. 
Whitefield, my good desires revived, and produced a 
considerable amendment in the whole tenor of my 
actions. 

But I did not at all know myself. And having an 
incHnation to see the world, I enhsted in the year 1759 
in General Burgoyne's light regiment of dragoons. B ut, 
upon examination I was found not quite tall enough, and 
so was discharged from them. Being ashamed to return 
to my friends, I enlisted in the service of the East India 
Company : and was soon sent out in the Triton store- 
ship, for the island of St. Helena, on the south of Africa. 
I saw the island in a dream just before I enlisted. We 
sailed from Gravesend in December, 1759, under con- 



324 MR. THOMAS PAYNE. 

voy of the Rippon man-of-war, and in company with 
the AnslowEast Indiaman, which afterward parted from 
us in a gale of wind. A French frigate bore down upon 
us in the Bay of Biscay, doubtless taking us for mer- 
chantmen. When we were preparing to engage, I was 
troubled at first, knowing I was not fit to die : but I soon 
comforted myself with the unchangeable decree. Af- 
ter firing a few shot, the frigate bore away. The Rip- 
pon chased and took her. But we saw our convoy no 
more, till some time after she came to St. Helena. 

We had now a week's calm. It then blew a hurri- 
cane for three weeks without intermission. All our 
masts were loosened, and several sets of sails torn in a 
thousand pieces. Both our chain and hand pumps were 
kept going for a month, without any intermission. 
During this time one poor man fell overboard, and cried 
out, " A boat, for God's sake," and sunk. A second fell 
down from the mast on the quarter deck, and dashed 
out his brains. A third going up to furl the main sail, 
must have shared the same fate, but that as he was fallings 
he catched and hung by his hands and feet, to the clew- 
garling of the sail. But he did not give God the glory. 
Afterward, as we were sailing near the equator, on a 
calm sea, he was scraping the ship's side, standing on 
one of the half parts, and, as usual, damning his own 
eyes and limbs. The captain hearing him, said, " You 
should not curse and swear in that manner. The halt 
part may turn with you, and you may be drowned with 
an oath in your mouth." But he swore on. In less 
than five minutes the half part did turn ; he fell and rose 
no more. The captain instantly put the ship about : 
but it was all in vain ! This alarmed me a little : but 
then I thought, " It was decreed," and was easy 
again. 

The day we arrived at St. Helena I had another shock. 
Two men were swimming near our ship. A very large 
shark (which I verily believe had followed our ship four 
hundred miles) bit at one of them and missed him. He 
cried out, " A shark !" but too late, for his comrade was 
immediately bit in two. Indeed we had men killed con- 
tinually. Some getting drunk, rolled doAvn precipices ; 
others fell into the sea. And I verily think half of the 



MR. THOMAS PAYNE. 325 

army and half of the other inhabitants of the island, did 
not live out half their days, which often gave me very 
serious thoughts of the uncertainty of human life. 

My seriousness was increased by an extraordinary 
occurrence, which I simply relate just as it was. One 

night, as I was standing sentinel at Mr. M 's door, I 

heard a dreadful rattling, as if the house was all shaking 
to pieces, and tumbling down about my ears. Looking 
toward it I saw an appearance, about the size of a six 
week's calf, lying at the door. It rose, came toward me, 
looked me in the face, passed by, returned again, and 
went to the door. The house shook as before, and it 

disappeared. A few days after, our innkeeper, Mr. M , 

told the officer of the guard that the same night Mrs. 
M died, he with eight persons more sitting up, ob- 
served the house shake exceedingly: that they were 
greatly surprised, and searched every room, but to no 
purpose : that not long after there was a second shaking, 
as violent as the former. That a while after the house 
shook a third time ; and just then Mrs. M died. 

I now really desired to serve God. But I had none 
to help me forward. I longed for some religious ac- 
quaintance ; and every year, when the store ship came 
from England, I diligently inquired whether any good 
men came in it. At length one arrived who had been 
educated at the Foundry school in London. And he 
was once serious, but had turned again to folly. How- 
ever, he w-as now desirous to return to God. I found 
likewise another young man who had an earnest desire 
to save his soul : and we three agreed to serve God 
together. I now fasted and prayed, and having a little 
larger income, endeavoured to help my neighbours. 
But this quickly puffed me up wdth pride till I was suf- 
fered to fall into outward sin. God now humbled me 
indeed : I abhorred myself, and saw the necessity of a 
deeper work, in order to my being happy, either in this 
w^orld or in the world to come. 

My companions and I were greatly strengthened by 
an uncommon trial that befell us soon after. We fre- 
quently went out, at night, to pray by the side of a moun- 
tain. One night, as we were walking together, and talk- 
ing of the things of God, I heard a noise, and saw some- 

28 



326 MR. THOMAS PAYNE. 

thing in the form of a large bear pursuing me closely. 
My hair stood on end, and, as we were walking arm in 
arm, I suddenly pulled both my companions around 
with me. They both saw him, and one of them fainted 
away. It then reared up itself upon its hind legs in the 
air. I said, " Satan, we are come hither to serve God ; 
and we will do it in spite of thee, and all the devils in 
hell." Instantly it &unk into the earth : we then prayed 
upon the very spot ; and soon found ourselves strong in 
the Lord, and in the power of his might. 

In about a week after I spoke unadvisedly with my 
lips. It cut me to the heart. I went to a quarry at the 
foot of the mountain, fell prostrate on the earth, and 
cried out, ^* O wretched man that I am, who shall deliver 
me from the guilt and power of sin?" But I was a 
strong Calvinist, and that kept me from the blessing a 
long time, waiting for the irresistible call, and thought 
it horrid presumption to venture upon Christ till God 
compelled me by his almighty arm. Thus I waited till 
I met with a German author, who convinced me of the 
absolute necessity of '' striving to enter in at the strait 
gate ; of taking the kingdom of heaven by violence ; of 
laying hold of God's strength," in order to make peace 
with him : of venturing my spirit, soul, and body, with 
all my sins, sorrows^ cares, and all my wants on the 
absolute mercy of God in Christ Jesus. 

With a full purpose of doing this, I called my com- 
panions to the old spot to prayer. And while I was 
praying and wrestling for Christian liberty, — 

Panting for everlasting rest, 
And struggling into God^ 

I cried out, with an uncommon ecstasy of joy and asto- 
nishment, " O God, my heart is fixed, my heart is fixed : 
I will sing and give praise !" Being divinely assisted, I 
believed with my heart unto righteousness : on which 
God shed abroad his love therein, and gave me the Spirit 
of adoption, crying, Abba, Father ; which Spirit witnessed 
with my spirit that I was a child of God. I then could not 
refrain from declaring what God had done for my soul, 
I cried out to those about me, "Why cannot you praise 
God with me and for me ? I am so filled with the love 



MR. THOMAS PAYNE. 327 

of God, methinks I am just ready to fly up to heaven with 
my very body." 

But 1 had a Calvinian Ubrary, which I often read. And 
hence I imbibed that miserable notion that it was abso- 
lutely necessary every believer should come down from 
the mount. Hence I was persuaded that I must lose my 
first love ; that I must doubt of my justification, which 
those wretched casuists lay down as one great mark of 
sincerity. For want of knowing better, I hstened to 
these till I lost the witness of the Spirit. I then fell into 
doubts concerning my justification ; nay, and concerning 
the being of a God. I sunk deeper and deeper, till I got 
to my old German author again. I then found that I must 
strive, not only to gain, but to hold fast the witness of the 
Spirit, and the hope of the Gospel: yea, that I must dis- 
pute every inch of ground with the world, the flesh, and 
the devil. Thus convinced, I went with renewed repent- 
ance to the throne of grace. And I found the fountain 
open. At two several times it pleased God to give so 
strong a discovery of his love to my soul that it was then 
impossible to admit the least shadow of a doubt. 

I now thought I never could be moved, God had made 
my hill so strong. I hired a little dwelling. I got a 
large library of books. I gathered more and more of the 
soldiers to join with me in fasting, praying, reading, sing- 
ing, and every other means whereby we might edify each 
other. I began to exhort, and many were convinced of 
&in; some were justified, some English backsliders were 
restored, who died happy in God. But soon after I was 
preferred to a higher rank, which was a means of my for- 
saking God. To please man I did violence to my con- 
science, and grieved the Holy Spirit of God. But I found 
no peace herein. Conviction returned, and I was on the 
brink of despair. Many times in a day I threw myself on 
the bed, in unspeakable anguish of mind, seeing no door 
of hope, but taking it for granted I should breathe my last 
in horrible fear. For about a year I could not believe 
even the being of a God. I thought if there were such a 
God as the Scripture speaks of, he would either have 
saved or damned me before now. I do not know that I 
slept one whole night, for thirteen months together : nor, 
indeed, one whole hour, without some dreadful dream, 



328 MR. THOMAS PAYNE. 

presaging the wrath to come. To complete my distress, 
and make me perfectly miserable, the ungodly, who de- 
nied, and the Pharisees, who despised all heart religion, 
were continually laughing me to scorn : crying, " Ha ! 
ha! So would we have it. Where is our reprover 
now?" 

One man on the parade (to provoke me) called upon 
the devil to d — n his Maker. Immediately a horror fell 
upon him, and from that hour he had no rest, day or night, 
till he made an open confession to a magistrate that seven 
years before he had murdered a soldier, whose apparition 
followed him wherever he was. Upon this confession 
judicially repeated, he was condemned to die. When 
under sentence he sent for me, and begged I would con- 
verse and pray Avith him, which (with the leave both of 
the governor and chaplain) I did, till the day of his exe- 
cution. He then declared, " This is the best day I ever 
saw. This is my wedding day. I am married to Christ, 
and I am going to heaven to praise him to all eternity." 

I was now promoted again. I had five different offices, 
and a large revenue therefrom. But as business increased, 
religion wore off; till (to avoid running into more sin) 
I married. My wife's mother was one of the most pious 
women in the island. But my wife's religion consisted 
in going to church, and then running a continual round of 
pleasure, of eating and drinking, dressing, playing, danc- 
ing, and singing. Indeed we both swam down the stream 
together ; for I was afraid to think ; I did not dare to 
meet my own conscience ; and endeavoured to stifle my 
own convictions with business and with frantic mirth. 
Yet sometimes I could not help thinking. And my con- 
victions were then so keen that I was many times under 
strong temptations to put an end to my life. Perhaps I 
should have done it, but for a dream which I had a little 
before. I thought I saw myself standing on the summit 
of a frightful precipice ; whence I was suddenly hurled 
down headlong through the air, expecting every moment 
to be dashed in pieces ; when I was turned into a white 
dove, and flew up again. 

About this time I saw, at a friend's house, two volumes 
extracted from Mr. Law's works, and a volume of your ser- 
mons. Hence my convictions returned stronger than ever. 



MR. THOMAS PAYNE. 329 

I sincerely and deeply lamented my grievous fall : my 
heart was broken in pieces for my repeated and aggra- 
vated sins against so good a God. And I sincerely prayed 
that he would send me any kind of affliction which would 
bring me back to himself, I saw prosperity had ruined 
me, and cared not what I suffered, so I might once again 
love and serve God. And I referred it wholly to him to 
use whatever means he saw fit in his adorable providence. 
At the same time I had a vehement desire to hear once 
more the genuine Gospel of Christ. 

One night I started up in my sleep, and waked my 
wife, saying, " Peggy, I shall be obliged to leave you, and 
go to England." She said, "It is only a foolish dream : 
go to sleep again." I endeavoured so to do, but could 
not, this being so strongly impressed on my mind. Not 
long after I disobliged some of my superiors by the just 
discharge of my duty. In consequence of this I received 
orders to return to England ; the man I saw in my dream 
pushing me off the precipice being the very man who 
bore false witness against me out of fear of the governor, 
who cursed and drove away those that came to give evi- 
dence in my favour. I saw the hand of God herein, and 
acquiesced in his providence. 

I came to England, and preferred a petition to the 
honourable East India Company. But they did not 
answer it ; as indeed I had not with me the proper evi- 
dences to support it. I left my wife and children behind, 
and she in a state of pregnancy. She did not desire to 
come with me ; nor did I then desire that she should. I 
remained in London, waiting for the arrival of some of 
my evidences till I had spent almost all my money, having 
only a few shillings left. I could not now tell what to do, 
as I had not one friend in London, till hearing of you, sir, 
I found a desire to have some conversation with you. I 
went to the Foundry, but instead of you I met Mr. Jaco. 
I told him my situation and circumstances. He said, " I 
can do nothing for you." I asked if he knew of any under 
clerk's place that I could get till Providence cleared my 
way. He said, "No." I left him ; but was not humbled 
enough yet for God to lift me up. 

I said to myself, I have been a soldier, and I will be so 
again. I could not murmur nor repine ; having a deep 



330 MR. THOMAS PAYNE. 

sense of my backsliding from God, and being fully con* 
vinced that although his ways are often past finding out, 
yet he does all things well, and for our profit, that we may 
be partakers of his holiness. I enlisted in the fifteenth 
regiment of foot, and was immediately made clerk of the 
regiment. I should have been farther preferred, but I 
was too religious : I was not like other men. Indeed I do 
not know that we had three men in the whole regiment 
who pretended to any religion at all. I had nowagaina few 
opportunities of calling sinners to repentance. I went to 
Nailsworth upon a furlough, and began exhorting the peo- 
ple to turn to God. I did the same at Stroud ; then at 
Cirencester, and afterward at other places. Here my 
former sentiments were shaken, and I began to halt be- 
tween two opinions. At length the gracious providence 
of God brought me to Leeds, in Yorkshire. Here I found 
such a large body of affectionate people as I never saw 
before. And some of them desired me to preach ; but 
my officers threatened me that if I did I should be tried 
by a court martial. And I still doubted my call to preach. 
So I determined to take this method, never to preach 
unless invited to it ; and then to observe whether there 
was any fruit. 

Soon after, one of our soldiers told Mrs. Walsh that 
they had a preacher in their regiment. She sent for 
me, and desired me to give an exhortation. I did so, and, 
contrary to my expectation, my officers were so far from 
punishing me, that they gave me all the liberty I could de- 
sire. And it pleased God to employ me as an instrument 
of awakening and converting several souls. I preached 
many times in the streets of Leeds. Mr. Mitchell then 
sent for me, and asked me, " For whom do you preach ?" 
I said, " For Jesus Christ, in order to convert sinners to 
him." He invited me to preach in your preaching house, 
which I did many times. And I frequently wxnt into the 
circuit for him, and Mr. Robert Roberts, who were glad 
to have sinners converted to God, whatever instruments 
he was pleased to make use of. And it was here that, by 
reading and considering yours, Mr. Fletcher's, and Mr. 
Sellon's works, I was entirely delivered from the whole 
hypothesis of absolute predestination. And so I am firmly 
persuaded will every sensible man be who has a real de. 



MR. THOMAS PAYNE. 331 

sire to know the whole truth of God, and then gives them 
a fair reading, with frequent and fervent prayer. 

It was now that the thought of my wife and children 
lay upon my mind. And I saw no way, either for me to 
escape from the army, or them from St. Helena. But 
nothing is too hard for God. He first made a way for me. 
My colonel demanding thirty guineas for my discharge, it 
M^as soon raised and paid. Being now once more a free 
man, I desired to join with the people called Methodists. 
I saw (to begin with smaller things) that wherever they 
came they promoted, 1. Cleanliness, industry, frugality, 
and economy. 2. Loyalty, conscientious subjection to 
the king, and all that are in authority : and 3. Real, vital 
religion, which was well nigh banished from the earth. 

I was received upon trial at the Leeds conference, in 
the year 1772. Thence I was sent to London, where the 
sensible Methodists were so kind as to bear with my 
weaknesses, and they were not a few. I bless God that 
I was stationed here for my improvement. And even 
here, it pleased God, that my labour was not in vain. 
You was then pleased to send me to Ireland to take off 
my rough military edge ; and to break me thoroughly to 
the work on the rough mountains of the north. The 
damp, dirty, smoky cabins of LHster were a good trial 
for me for the present. But what makes double amends 
for all these inconveniences to any preacher who loves 
the work of God, is, that our people here are, in general, 
the most zealous, lively, affectionate Christians we have 
in the kino:dom. 

When I had been little above a year in Ireland, my 
wife, who was before unwilling to leave home, as well as 
afraid of a sea voyage, and of venturing into the northern 
climate, wrote me word that her father and mother were 
dead, and that she was willing to leave St. Helena, and not 
afraid, either of a sea voyage, or of a cold climate. I 
informed you of this ; and you was pleased to make 
application to the East India Company, who generously 
ordered my family to be brought to England, with every 
needful accommodation, at their own charge. By the 
blessing of God they arrived safe. You was pleased to 
send my little boy to Kingswood school, and my little 
girl to Publow, and to send me word not to take thought 



332 3IR. THOMAS PAYNE. ' ^ '^ "^ 

or care about them. After awhile you sent over my wife 
to me. This has proved an unspeakable blessing to her. 
She has been convinced of sin, converted to God, and, I 
trust, made pure in heart. 

As to myself, I have been many times' so unfaithful to 
the grace and gifts wherewith God has intrusted me, that 
I abhor myself in dust and ashes, as an unprofitable ser- 
vant. Yet this I can say from the ground of my heart, I 
am not at all careful where or how long I live in this 
w^orld, so I may answer the end of my being ; so I may 
have the testimony of my conscience that I do all to the 
glory of God. For I know that to me to live is Christ, 
and to die is gain. I fear God, and uniformly endeavour 
to work righteousness, I believe that God is both able 
and willing to cleanse me from all unrighteousness : and 
I lie before him as clay in the hands of the potter, to be 
just what he would have me to be : as holy and as happy 
as my nature and state can bear. I am not afraid of 
being too holy ; but I believe it is my privilege to be all 
holy, in the very complexion of my soul, in all my tem- 
pers, words, thoughts, and actions. I am convinced that 
grace is stronger than sin, and that Christ is stronger than 
the devil ; and that Gospel liberty implies a deliverance 
from the guilt, power, and nature of sin ; into peace, life, 
love, and holiness. I can say, farther, that though I do 
not yet fully enjoy these inestimable blessings, yet God 
is pleased to own my weak labours, so that more and 
more sinners are converted to God every time I go 
around the circuit. 

And now, what shall I render unto the Lord for all 
the benefits that he has done unto me ? I can only praise 
him as long as I live, and be tellino; of all his wondrous 
works. Praise the Lord, then, my soul ! and let all 
within me praise his holy name ! 

Dear sir, blot out or keep in just what you please ^f 
this narrative. And in so doing you will oblige 
Your son in the Gospel, 

Thomas Payne, 



THE END. 



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